THE CARRIAGE RIDE back to the house was silent. Matthew was flipping through something, I think he brought a book with him. I refused to look anywhere in his direction. I stared directly in my lap, studying the embroidery that had constructed my skirts. I thought about how many hours had gone into creating a dress this big. I wondered how many times her needle had snatched in the thread or she'd frowned at her stitch work. I pondered over the life of a seamstress and the amount of happiness I could've had if my life had been that simple. I wished I'd been born simple and uninteresting without the burden of rushed, obligatory marriages. I would've been so much happier. When the carriage halted, my stomach dropped. The last thing I wanted to do was enter that god-forsaken house.

"Ladies first," Matthew said abruptly. I looked up from my dress. He was staring at me.

"You might as well take me to an asylum, Mr. Whitfield. You've taken my last chance at happiness," I answered.

Matthew blinked at me. "You know what they do to patients in there? Do you know what type of life they lead?"

"I know what type of life they lead."

"Then you should be grateful that I decided to spare you that type of pain, Ms. Axel." He gestured to the door. "Out of the carriage."

"What are you going to do now, Mr. Whitfield? Will you finally divorce me? Will you finally put the both of us out of our misery?"

Matthew narrowed his eyes. "You were the one who wanted to halt the divorce on advice of your cousin. That was you."

"And you burnt down the house of the only man who could ever love me! The only person that I saw myself having a future with--"

"I told you to apologize!"

"I'm done! I am done! I'm done trying to save myself when everyone keeps..." I curled my hands into fist as I struggled to keep burning tears at bay. "I can't do it anymore, Mr. Whitfield. I yield to you. I submit to you. If you want a divorce, I shall give you it. If you want me out of the manor, I'll leave this very second. Whatever you want, you can have. I am...done." There was the briefest silence.

"I want you to get out of this carriage."

I bit my bottom lip until I tasted blood. "I don't want to share this house with your mistress any longer. I won't do it."

Matthew lips lifted in a mocking smile. "I thought you were done. I thought you were ready to submit to whatever demand I requested."

"I will not live with your or your mistress any longer. If I have to live on the street as a beggar, so be it."

"Get. Out!"

"No!"

I decided to look at him now. Matthew's entire face was flushed red with anger and frustration. His body was tense and arched forward defensively, as if he was ready to attack. But his eyes... They weren't the dark, smoldering stones I'd look into yesterday. They were still so blue. He wasn't just angry. He was...

I laughed coldly.

"What?" he growled.

"Don't tell me it's guilt. Don't tell me you feel guilty."

"I have nothing to feel sorry for, Ms. Axel."

"Then why won't you leave me at the asylum? Why won't you leave me at the Axel country home where I will no longer be your problem? Why do you want me to stay at this house when I've finally agreed to give you your out?"

"Get out of the carriage."

"You don't want to leave me at the mercy of my family. You know that they'll treat me horribly once I'm a penniless, divorcee. You feel bad."

"Get out of of the carriage."

"You'll have to drag me by my ankles if you want me to come back into that house. You'll have to rob me of that last shred of dignity if that's what you so desire, Mr. Whitfield. I will fight and cry and kick and scream. I hope your little conscience can handle that." Matthew examined me for a few moments before exiting the carriage himself. I sat as still as a soldier, trying to pretend I didn't care about what would happen to me. He re-entered again with a valise and the carriage began to move. I had no doubt that the valise contained some of my things. "Where are we going?"

"To a spa," he replied.

I didn't believe him until the carriage did in fact stop in front of The Georgia several hours later. It was the most popular spa resort in the kingdom. "You shall stay here for a little while," Matthew announced.

It was really his whore who should be staying here, I thought. Or in some residence far away from me. But Matthew would never do that. "Ok."

We exited the carriage and he registered me into a room. Matthew accompanied me to my lodgings and set my valise on the ground. "You'll have a maid to attend to you."

"Alright."

"Ms. Axel?"

"Mr. Whitfield?"

"Don't you dare try to leave this place without me. I mean it." His blue eyes were piercing.

"Ok."

"Say it."

"I won't leave this place without you."

🥀

I went to sleep first. I hoped that the minute I opened my eyes, I would be in my room at Whitfield manor. Victoria had never opened her mouth about my threat. Matthew had never looked me in the eye and called me a beast. I had never seen Eric Blossom's cabin engulfed in flames. I was sure if I could just close my eyes, the whole thing would become a fantastic nightmare.

I woke up bleary eyed an hour or two later. My face was pressed against a pillow in an unfamiliar bed within an unfamiliar room. The events of the past twenty four hours had been no nightmare. My eyes pricked with tears. Eric's cabin was gone. That man's life was ruined and it was all my fault. Why hadn't I just apologized? Why had I been careless enough to let Matthew and Victoria see my letters to him?

I stood and walked to the basin to wash my face.The ice droplets stung my skin. There was a knock on the door. "Come in," I said weakly.

A servant girl dressed in black entered. "Ma'am."

"What is it?"

"The Georgia is known for their therapeutic hot springs. I was wondering if you'd like me to escort you to one now."

I dried my face with a towel. "What makes them so therapeutic?"

"They have healing properties that remedy skin ailments and remedy certain diseases, ma'am. They also soothe the mind."

I could use a soothed mind. God knows I didn't deserve it. However, self-loathing would get me nowhere. I needed to figure out what my next step was. "Alright, escort me then."

She guided me outside to a large pool of water, emanating with steam. There were a few ladies already there. I suddenly felt self-conscious. "You can undress here by the side of the spring." I shot the servant a scandalized stare. She fought the urge to laugh. "Or, you many undress in there. I'll take your clothes once you're done." The servant pointed to a structure that looked much like a privy, only a little larger.

I nodded before going into the privy. It wasn't one, thank god, and it smelled surprisingly pleasant. There was a mirror and a vase of flowers inside, and some silken robes. I quickly stripped out of my dress before adorning a robe.

"Enjoy yourself," the servant said once I handed her my dress.

I expertly removed my robe in such a fashion that my body would not be revealed before I made it into the water. It wasn't like anyone was looking, but it felt like I had a hundred pairs of eyes on me. Though my face was my chief insecurity, the rest of my body was a close second. I wasn't slender or fashionably curvy. I was....large. That was kindest way of referring to my figure. I forced my mind to drift from the subject as I sank into the warm water.

"Could allow me to pass by?" asked a voice. I opened my eyes. Another woman had materialized beside me. Her eyes were an angry red. She, too, had been crying.

"Sorry?"

"Your head is right by the lily soap."

"Right." I moved out of the way so she could fetch it. She stared at me a touch longer longer than polite. "I'm burned underneath the veil."

She looked away, embarrassed. "I'm very sorry."

"Don't be." I took the lily soap after she was done. "What's your name?"

"Leticia. And you?"

"Rose." We were both silent as we soaked in the supposed healing qualities of the spring water.

"I really do love this place," Letitia breathed quietly.

"I've never been here before," I admitted. I could see the appeal, though.

"What brought you here today, then?"

I grimaced. "My husband. He left me here." Leticia peered at me curiously. "I told him that I couldn't spend another minute in our house with his mistress," I explained. "And then he left me here."

Leticia's eyes widened. "You jest. Surely he does not share the same residence with you and his mistress."

"It's no jest.".

Leticia swam away and returned with a flask. She offered it to me. "You deserve a drink."

I took the flask and swallowed a gulp. It took everything in me to force it down my throat. I'd never tasted spirits quite like this. I handed the flask back to her with haste. "That's vile," I declared.

Leticia smiled before taking a sip herself. "It's horrid the first time you drink it. You never quite get used to this spirit. But it feels divine." She wasn't wrong. I could already feel a slight buzz settling over me. I held out my hand for another turn. Leticia laughed before handing it over. "See?"

The second gulp still burned, but I was ready for it. "He burned it down," I burst out abruptly.

"Burned what, dear?"

"The house of my...the house of my lover. He burned it down."

Leticia shook her head. "Count yourself lucky. My husband mutilated mine right in front of me."

Her statement physically shook me. "My God," I whispered. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. We both knew the risks of finding love elsewhere. Our husbands may lie and cheat but God forbid.." Leticia's voice broke off. "God forbid we do the same."

I took a generous swig this time. "It's not fair. They can do whatever they want and we're not allowed to anything. He was so mad at me for something that little bitch deserved to hear."

"You know they can't stand it when we say the slightest thing to their mistresses. You utter one insult and those women go crying to our husbands."

"It wasn't as if...it wasn't as if I actually would've done it," I slurred.

Leticia peered at me curiously. "Done what?"

"Killed her parents! I don't even have the resources to make that happen!"

Leticia's were wide. I knew for a fact she thought I was crazy. "How could you threaten such a thing?"

"Because!" I yelled. Other ladies were looking at me now. "That girl was plotting to kill me!"

Leticia only stared at me. "You're lying. Surely, you're lying."

"I'm not!"

Leticia melted into laughter. I squinted at her in frustration. "What the hell is so funny?"

Leticia could barely a string a sentence together. "All of it, Rose. All of it."

It had to be the spirits coupled with the stress and sorrow of the past couple weeks. But suddenly, the whole situation seemed like a terrible joke. I joined in on her laughter. It wasn't cute lady-like giggles either, it was drunken, crazed guffaws. I was acutely aware we had attracted annoyed and shocked eyes, but I didn't care. When the laughs finally abated, we couldn't even look at it each other for fear of erupting in laughter again. "When you say it out loud, it sounds unbelievable."

"Very. It's something out of a very bad play."

"A very, very bad play," I agreed. I turned to her. "Would you believe it if I told you she was colluding with my best friend's husband?"

Leticia eyes were starting to water. "Don't you dare make me laugh again."

I sighed. It felt so good to laugh. I couldn't remember the last time I laughed at something. Everyone in my life had given me some sort of grief except this total stranger.

"You're lucky, in a sense. He didn't attack your lover...unprovoked," Leticia said.

"Yours did?"

Leticia nodded. "He didn't know about him. And when he found out..."

"I'm sorry," I repeated. I didn't know what else to say.

"No it's...it's my fault. I should've been more discreet." She smiled at me. "We um...he and I copulated in my husbands bed."

I returned her smile. "Bravo, Leticia."

She bowed her head like a proud performer. "Thank you."

"Will you still see him?" I asked.

"He suffered a broken leg and black eye. And he said he didn't care. He said he wouldn't stop loving me, that he would never abandon me," Leticia replied. "I came here for a brief respite...a chance to think. I broke it off with him but...I don't think I can stay away. I love him so much." I couldn't even reply. Eric was someone who could've been something more, but I knew calling him a lover was a stretch. There were warm feelings, but nothing stronger. I yearned for Leticia's love. I yearned for true love. "I have some sweet wine in my room. Would you like some?" My gaze flitted to her empty flask. We'd certainly had enough alcohol.

"I would love some."