I waited... and waited for Peyton to show up to the tutoring sessions... She hasn't shown up in the last 10 sessions and my graders are rapidly dropping.

"Oh fuck it." I said getting my stuff.

I drove over to Peyton's house as I knocked on the door to hear no one answering... I got the key that Paxton gave to me and unlocked the door. I immediately went to Peyton's room to see her room dark blue...

All this time she was sleeping! Goddamnit.

I stepped closer and realized she was holding onto something as if she fell asleep reading a book.

I quietly and carefully pulled the book out and skimmed through the pages. It as almost she was researching because half the pages was unwritten.

I started on the first page which read BPD — Borderline Personality Disorder. I looked down and my name... my name caught my eye.

"Why would she put my name in this borderline personality stupid fucking disorder book." I said as I read the pages of symptoms.

"Mood Swings... Unstable relationship. Oh my god that is sooo true." I whispered laughing.

I looked at Peyton who turned over. Half of the bed was available to me so I sat down reading the rest of the book.

"Impulsive... self harm... and risky behavior. Suspiciousness and inappropriate anger." I mumbled...

There were a lot more other symptoms to the book and it was hard to read by the fact it was so dark.

"Fear of abandonment and a mental therapist." I whispered.

I turned the page and started to read everything in this book.

Borderline personality disorder usually begins by early adulthood. The condition seems to be worse in young adulthood and may gradually get better with age.

With borderline personality disorder, you have an intense fear of abandonment or instability, and you may have difficulty tolerating being alone. Yet inappropriate anger, impulsiveness and frequent mood swings may push others away, even though you want to have loving and lasting relationships.

The things she wrote in this book. It seems all familiar to me as if I suffered these... I hate to jump into conclusions so I slam the book shut and got mad.

Why would she put my name in this book.

I examined her room and looked to see the similar books just like this...

"Bipolar Depression..." I mumbled starting to read it.

Again I saw a name... Jackson Cohen...

Bipolar disorder, formerly called manic depression, is a mental health condition that causes extreme mood swings that include emotional highs (mania or hypomania) and lows (depression).

When become depressed, might feel sad or hopeless and lose interest or pleasure in most activities. When mood shifts to mania or hypomania (less extreme than mania), may feel euphoric, full of energy or unusually irritable. These mood swings can affect sleep, energy, activity, judgment, behavior and the ability to think clearly.

No wonder he always switched up at random times...

1 Mania (patterns to both 1:2)

2 Depression (patterns to both1:2)

rapid cycling – where a person with bipolar disorder repeatedly swings from a high to a low phase quickly without having a "normal" period in between

mixed state – where a person with bipolar disorder experiences symptoms of depression and mania together; for example, overactivity with a depressed mood

Her writing was neat... and it was informative. Another book caught my eye and it was written on Insomnia Chronic Disorder.

Just like the others there was a name... this time it was "Peyton Wright"

I skimmed through just like I did with the others.

Ongoing worrying about sleep

Waking up too early

Waking up too late

Difficult to fall asleep

Not feeling well-rested after a night's sleep

Daytime tiredness or sleepiness

Irritability, depression or anxiety

Difficulty paying attention, focusing on tasks or remembering

Increased errors or accidents

At some point, many adults experience short-term (acute) insomnia, which lasts for days or weeks. It's usually the result of stress or a traumatic event. But some people have long-term (chronic) insomnia that lasts for a month or more. Insomnia may be the primary problem, or it may be associated with other medical conditions or medications.

Insomnia is a common sleep disorder that can make it hard to fall asleep, hard to stay asleep, or cause to wake up too early and not be able to get back to sleep. Might still feel tired when woken up. Insomnia can effect not only energy level and mood but also health, work performance and quality of life.

It all connected now... that's why she's so tired and this is why she always falls asleep early or never gets any sleep...

She suffers from Insomnia. Oh my god how can I be so fucking stupid.

She's got so much more books and so much research... is this what she does in the library? Always researching?

I decided to look through the books a little more. They're interesting...

"Anna... what are you doing?" I heard turning around and seeing Peyton awake.

"Oh hey... I was just looking at your research. Hope if you don't mind." I said sitting down with the BPD book.

"Oh you looked... and you probably saw your name oh my god I'm sorry." She said and I smiled.

"It's okay... I see you like to study a lot of people? Like your sister Paxton Depersonalization Disorder?" I said and she nodded.

"Which is... characterized by experiencing a sense of being outside of one's own body and being disconnected from reality?" I said getting up and looking through the book.

"Yeah..." she mumbled.

"You don't have to... read all of them. I know you probably think I'm weird for doing this.." She said and I smiled.

"No not at all. I think it's pretty cool that you do this..." I said.

She smiled at me as I put the books away and on her desk. I sat next to her and she put her head on my shoulder.

"And you suffer... from insomnia. Chronic right?" I asked her and she nodded.

"I Uhh... yeah..." She mumbled looking down.

Oh my god Anna what did you do... you embarrassed her oh my god...

"Hey wait. Don't feel that way... everyone has their own problems. We're gonna fix this." I said and she smiled.

"Is there anyway we can treat it?" I asked her and she shrugged.

"I tried but I'm not able to keep a good sleep schedule. I keep sleeping to late or early."

"We can fix that. I know I'm like really dumb but I'm sure I can find a way to help you a little at the most." I said and she shook her head no.

"Your not dumb. You take things slower than other people and that's fine. Some people learn at different rates and that's normal." She said and that actually made me feel a lot better.

I felt her put her head in my neck before pushing me down. She laid on top of me and I smiled.

"Before we treat this insomnia I wanna sleep a little more." She said and so laughed and nodded.