"You cannot run away from yourself; you're always right behind you,"

~A fortune from a fortune cookie

Drapetomania, Michael thinks, and overwhelming urge to run away. Michael's battered from his encounter with his dad and he can no longer feel his left side of his chest. His thighs are aching with the feeling of fresh cuts and Michael has managed to put on a pair of his own black skinny jeans. He left on Luke's sweater due to the fact that it smells like him.

Luke had texted Michael a few minutes ago saying that he went into Michael's phone for his number when he was asleep. Michael might have thought it was creepy if it weren't Luke. He hadn't texted back, but was suddenly tempted to let Luke know what he was doing so that someone had the opportunity to find him should they really care.

Michael's preparing to run away. He won't take any food, not that there's any to take, but he's already grabbed the book holding all his life's savings. Michael's counted it and recounted it and it's roughly four thousand dollars. It's sorted into piles of five hundred and attached with elastics Michael found lying around. He's filled his school bag with clothes and stuffed the money in there.

He took a shower when he got home and he's not sure why he's just sitting there. Maybe it's the fact that he likes Luke and can't make himself leave. So Michael sends a text and climbs out his window carefully lowering himself to the ground and setting off at a brisk pace.

Michael doesn't know if Luke will read it or if he'll care. He doesn't even know if Luke will even understand what Michael's trying to say. But it's all he's got. And with any hope it'll be enough and Luke will save him.

In truth Michael's not sure what he's running from. It could be his dad or his mum. More probably it's himself and Michael's just hoping distance will help, because nothing else is anymore. If this doesn't work it means only one thing will, but as much as Michael wants to die he doesn't want to leave Luke wondering what happened and if he could have done something. Because Luke can't help, but Michael can't tell him what's really going on.

Michael's heart aches as he reads the messages from Luke. He doesn't want to leave the blonde, but it's the only option other than death and that's if this works. He thinks if Luke had to choose between Michael leaving or dying he would let him leave. But Michael can't tell Luke that death's the only thing he hasn't tried, and the only thing that seems it will work.

Michael decides against turning his phone off as it continues buzzing in his pocket if the blonde is smart enough to track it then Michael thinks he might be willing to follow him back home.

Michael kept walking. The clouds above him were threatening to unleash their fury on him at any moment, but the boy in black moved steadily forward. Nothing more than an insignificant dot on the planet. He moved as quickly as his tired body dared, which wasn't much more than a brisk walk.

Luke was calling him. Michael's steps slowed but he continued walking as he stared down at the phone screen. He waited till he knew his voice mail was about to play and answered the phone.

"Michael? You answered! Oh thank God, mum! He answered!"

Michael heard Liz reply in the background but couldn't make out her actual words.

"Michael, tell me where you are right now," Luke begged. "Please, Mikey. Tell me where you are and I'll come pick you up. You can stay at my place if you want to. You can do whatever you want if you just come home,"

"Whatever I want?" Michael asked quietly.

"Yes. Whatever you want kitten," it wasn't the first time the nick name was used but it was the first time Michael noticed a reaction from himself.

"What if I want this?" Michael asked.

"Nobody wants this, Mikey," Luke said.

And the truth of the words rang in Michael's ears.

"But it's better than what I really want," Michael found himself saying.

"What do you really want, Mikey?" Luke asked though the blonde wasn't sure he really wanted to hear the answer.

Michael's throat was constricted and the tears were leaking down his cheeks.

"I want to die, Luke" Michael sobbed. "I want to die,"

Michael didn't know where he was anymore and he collapsed onto the ground hugging his knees with one hand and leaning his back against the brick wall of some random building. A man smoking weed passed Michael as he waited for Luke's voice to comfort him, but the man paid no attention to the small, insignificant boy. No matter how broken he appeared.

"Michael," Luke breathed.

"I want to die so bad, Lukey,"

It was the first time Michael had used a nick name to refer to someone. He liked it, but that was probably only because it was Luke.

He heard Luke sniffling on the phone and Michael released another unwanted sob.

"Tell me you're kidding, Michael. Tell me this is some kind of sick joke," Luke begged. "Please, Mikey,"

Michael found himself sobbing uncontrollably. He couldn't stop what was happening and he couldn't say anything. There was a mantra paying in his head over-powering everything else. He heard Liz's voice again but it was faded. He thought he heard Luke say he was on his way, but the chanting was so loud he figured he must have imagined it. The voice was getting louder and louder and it seemed to Michael that there were a hundred of them all formed together shouting one word.

And Michael screamed. He screamed his throat raw. Screamed till he was puking blood onto the side walk by his feet. Michael screamed until he was sure he had ripped apart his vocal chords. He screamed till his lungs were burning for oxygen and his vision was spotted. And then Michael screamed more.

He screamed for the voices to shut up, he screamed for Luke. But hardly any of his screams took the form of words. They were truly agonizing. Not for Michael, but for the people in the vicinity to listen to. Somewhere not too far away Luke could hear the screams through the phone and it felt like someone was chipping away at his heart.

Michael screamed until he was choking on blood and the metallic taste had him throwing up blood and hot chocolate onto the side walk again. He puked until he was dry heaving, but Michael could still taste the blood that had filled his mouth and his throat and then Michael stopped screaming. And Michael cried. Because there was nothing else for a broken boy to do.

Michael doesn't notice the car pull up or the boy getting out until Luke's arms are around him and Michael's clinging to him desperately. Michael doesn't want to let go this time and he's not planning on it either. He doesn't want to have to face his dad again. Or even face his house. He doesn't want to exist anymore and Michael's not sure why he ran away when he had the opportunity to kill himself off. But in Luke's arms he can understand why someone might want to stay. He can understand why he might have wanted to stay, if he weren't who he was that is.

Luke has an arm wrapped around Michael pulling the small boy into him and his other hand is tangled in the boys soft dyed hair. He doesn't say anything, he doesn't want to say the wrong thing. And Luke's scared. He's so very scared.

"I want to die," Michael sobs after a few more seconds. "I want to die, Luke. So, so bad,"

Luke clutches the boy impossibly tighter and whispers sweet nothings into his ear. He tells him how beautiful he is, how perfect. He tells him how special he is, but all Michael can think of is how everyone else says different. Including himself.

"Don't lie," Michael sobs into Luke's chest.

"'M not. Not lying at all kitten. Not one bit," Luke whispers.

Michael's starting to feel his left side again from when his father beat him and it hurts like a b*tch, but Michael is in Luke's arms and he doesn't want to ruin that. Michael's life is a mess and Luke's telling him things that Michael can't believe and trying to make it all better, but at the end of the day and the core of the problem; Michael still wants to die.

Luke pulls the backpack off of Michael's shoulders and slings it over one of his own before helping the small boy to his feet. Michael sways dangerously due to exhaustion and hunger and Luke's free arm is instantly around him pulling the boy against him. He half guides half drags Michael to the car and sits them both down in the back seat.

Michael curls into himself and leans on Luke in the warm car. Luke's arm is wrapped protectively around the broken boy and Liz looks at the two from the driver's seat. She can see the bruises on Michael's face and the dried blood around his lips. His cheeks are still wet from tears and she's hurting for the boy. She meets her son's distressed eyes and begins to drive home.

Luke combs Michael's hair out of his face with his fingers and his eyes take in every detail fitting them together in his mind. He understands the reason for Michael's sweaters and jackets, but he doesn't want to pull back the sleeve to see what's underneath. He vows that he won't force Michael to tell him anything. He'll say it when he's ready to. If that means he never finds out then he never finds out. He just wants to be there for Michael, he wants to be the moon that lights up the darkest hours.

Michael's having a nightmare again. You wouldn't have been able to tell and Luke can't, but in his head Michael's being chased and beaten and called names. In his head Michael is running to the edge of a cliff so he can jump, but this time when Michael goes to jump a voice calls out for him to wait and Michael finds himself chained to Luke. Michael knows instantly what'll happen if he jumps, but if he breaks the chain that's so clearly Luke's life line, Luke will perish anyways. So Michael sits down and lets himself be beaten and hurt because Luke is too good for Michael to allow to be destroyed. So Michael takes the beating gladly knowing that by doing so he's saving something heavenly. Something sweet, and innocent and good. Michael takes the beating to save Luke.

When Michael wakes up it's to Liz's voice as Luke carries him through the house.

"Poor boy, I don't want to know why he ran," she muttered.

Michael kept his eyes closed out of curiosity and felt the stares of them both on him.

"I think I have some idea," Luke sighed, talking evidently about Michael's bruises.

Michael was uncomfortable with the topic of the conversation and was about to 'wake up' when Liz's voice asked another question.

"Have you figured out your not-so-platonic feelings for him?" she asked.

Luke's arms tightened around Michael. "Yes," he squeaked.

Michael could imagine the wicked grin on Liz's face as she pushed Luke for an answer, "And?"

"And I-I think they're not exactly platonic?" Luke seemed to be questioning his decision, but the boy relaxed when his mother reacted positively.

"Oh my baby-boy has a crush!" she exclaimed.

"You're going to wake him up," Luke whisper-scolded.

Michael stirred slightly but kept his eyes shut.

"Sorry. You should take him upstairs. Let him sleep in your bed," Liz tells her son.

Michael knows Luke must agree because he can feel his body swaying slightly with each of Luke's movements. Michael's brain is in a haze and he drifts back into a slumber as Luke lays him down on the bed.

When Michael wakes up and opens his eyes, he's alone. For a moment he's disoriented. He doesn't know where he is or what happened. But then it hits him. It crushes him weighing down on his chest making it hard to breathe and all he can think is how he really doesn't want to be breathing.

His head is loud and he has no razor to quiet it. So he seeks Luke's comfort. Michael isn't disappointed when he finds Luke making his lunch for school. It takes a moment for Luke to realize Michael's there.

"Hey," he says softly. And Michael moves almost robotically towards Luke and wraps his arms around the tall blonde.

Luke's arms are instantly around Michael returning the hug even though Luke doesn't know why Michael's hugging him. Luke can only assume it has something to do with yesterday's events and he's worried about the boy in his arms.

"You can stay here if you want," Luke tells him. "My mum said you don't have to go to school. Besides, I don't think she's too keen on you being alone,"

Michael nods and pulls away from Luke's embrace tugging the boy's sleeve. Luke's confused, but follows. Michael guides him into the bedroom and sits him on the bed. Michael sits next to Luke and rubs the back of his neck.

"I um," Michael clears his throat and keeps rubbing his neck. "There's something I need to tell you," he begins.

Luke knows where this is headed and shakes his head. "You don't need to tell me anything, Michael. Wait until you're ready,"

"I want to tell you," Michael says. "I just don't want to scare you away. I don't want to lose you too,"

Luke takes the hand Michael's rubbing his neck with in his own and squeezes. "I'm not going anywhere,"

Michael nods and swallows before biting his lip. "Hang on," Michael stands up in front of Luke and turns around. Luke's curious, but he doesn't ask questions. Michael shifts nervously and pulls off Luke's hoodie revealing his chest, torso and back. Luke covers his mouth with his hand. Michael's literally skin and bones and his skin is covered in deep purple blotches. Michael's still not facing Luke as he fights off his skinny jeans. Luke wants to look away. But he doesn't because this is Michael. Luke can barely stand the back and he knows what else he'll find in front.

"Turn around," he whispers.

Michael obeys Luke and tears roll down the blondes cheeks. There are bandages spotted with blood on both wrists and his thighs and Luke swears he can count every bone in his bruised body.

"C-can I..?" Luke trails off as his hands moves towards Michael's wrists.

The smaller boy sits himself down again and Luke takes Michael's right wrist. He peels the gauze off slowly and chokes on his tears and the angry red cuts scattered across Michael's wrist. Luke takes the left wrist and peels back the gauze to find wounds much the same only much more fresh. Salty tears fall onto Michael's wrists, but the boy makes no move to retreat from Luke so Luke adjusts Michael's position for him and pulls the gauze off the boys thighs to reveal the same sight. Skin sliced open at the mercy of the boy it protects.

Luke pulls Michael into him and holds the boy. Michael wraps his arms tightly around Luke and prays to whatever God exists that he'll never have to let go. Because right now Luke's his only reason for staying.

He's the only thing that helps anymore. And Michael can remember the dream and he'll take a thousand beatings for Luke.