"Are you kidding?" Luke could feel his heart rate increase by a probably unhealthy amount. He wasn't even sure how to react. He just felt so overjoyed for Ryan. He couldn't believe he had come this far.

"No! My parents were like 'so you want to be a boy and to do that you go on T?' And I was like 'well I am a boy but to help my body fit who I am, yes.' And they said how they were a little nervous about it but they said that they were trying to do their research and learn as much as they could and if that's what I really 100% needed and I knew for sure, (which I do) then they would look into it more! I can't even believe it!"

"Me neither, man! Aww I'm so happy for you!" Luke stood up and walked around the table to hug Ryan, who stood up and welcomed the embrace.

"You can finally be you!"

"I can finally be free!"

"I'm so proud of you, Ryan." Luke cupped Ryan's face in his hands.

"I'll be here to support you and whatever you do. As long as it's not unhealthy." He added. Ryan opened his mouth as if to say something but instead responded with a kiss.

"Thank you so much. I wouldn't be here without you." He said, arms dangling around Luke's neck.

"Of course. I'm glad I could be here for you. I really am glad I met you." Luke whispered.

"Hi, Ryan!" Ryan let go of Luke as his mom walked into the room.

"Mom! Hey! Ryan has great news!"

Luke stared at Ryan as they sat together in the back seat of Ryan's mom's car. He was all tensed up, his face red from smiling. His hands rested on his lap, fidgeting together. He sat up straight, eyes flicking around the car. It had been about two months since Ryan found out his parents would let him go on T and today was finally the day. Ryan looked happier then he ever had in his whole life.

"You look excited." Luke teased and Ryan looked at him, then away again. He was like a squirrel or something that couldn't keep his attention in one place for more then a second. Luke couldn't help but giggle at how energetic he was.

"It is a big day." Luke leaned back in his chair.

"I'm proud of you. Look how far you've come."

"Shut up!" Ryan squealed.

"Keep talking and I'll get so excited I'll jump out of the fucking window."

"Language, Ryan." His Mom warned, glancing at him trough the rear-view mirror.

"I'm not a child."

"You look like your gonna pee." Luke smirked, earning a playful punch from Ryan.

"Honestly I might." Luke laughed whole heartedly.

"Don't. I'll kill you." His mother said sternly, but beneath the seriousness was a joking tone. Luke could tell she was happy for her son, too. It was funny. Not to long ago she was lecturing Ryan on how he should love his body when really that meant 'love yourself for who you're not.' And now she was a proud mother, helping her son to be his true self. Luke was right after all. She did come around.

"I might die before you can kill me." Ryan said lively.

"You don't seem like your dying. Too happy to be dying."

"If I WAS dying, I WOULD be happy."

"Aww come on. It's a happy day. There's no room for self-deprecating humor."

"No. There's always room for self-deprecating humor."

"If you say so, king emo."

"Um... no..."

"Sorry forgot that's Gerard."

"No Gerard is Geesus."

"Right. And it can't be Brendon because he's Satan."

"Yup."

"So then who's the king?" Ryan thought for a second.

"Yea your right it's me."

"I can't even tell if that's self-deprecating humor or self...righteous humor."

"Why not both?"

"Can it be both?"

"Nobody's perfect so I'm perfect."

"Oh. That was beautiful. You've proved me wrong." After what seemed like forever, the car pulled into a parking lot and found an empty spot. Once the car pulled to a stop, Ryan put a hand to his chest.

"Oh my god."

"What?"

"This is actually happening." Luke smiled a toothy grin as he got out of the car.

"Well it won't if you just sit there." He said peeking into the car.

"Common." He slammed the door shut. Ryan got out of the car and shook out his hands.

"Oh my god. Ok. Let's go." He said with an excited sigh. When they walked into the building, they checked in and sat in the waiting room for a while, until someone walked into the room.

"Ryan?" Luke and Ryan's Mom both smiled at him as all three of them stood up and went with the doctor.

Ryan pulled open the camera app on his phone as the car zoomed down the street. When the doctor had called Ryan's name, they went with him to a room. The doctor had talked with them and told them all about T and what it would do and how it worked. After the talk, he showed Ryan how to do it, and gave him his first shot. The room was full of smiles and hugs. After that, they made their way out and back to the car. Ryan clicked on the video button and held the phone up to his face.

"Ready?" He turned to Luke for a moment.

"It's your video you tell me." He teased with a hint of sass. Ryan set the phone back down.

"Ahh I'm bad at videos. This is gonna be awkward. What should I say?"

"It doesn't have to be a big, long, grand video. Just make it short and sweet. Your going to need the room on your phone anyways." Luke mumbled the last part, taking into consideration his own phone that was always yelling at him for having a full storage.

"Ok. Yea. Yes. I'll just say the basics." Ryan sighed, shaking off his nerves.

"This isn't even that big of a deal. Ok actually it kind of is but it should be easy, shouldn't it?" He asked Luke.

"Well it clearly isn't."

"Ok ok. I've got this." Ryan held the phone back up and before he could convince himself otherwise, clicked the play button.

"Hey. I'm Ryan and this is my first day on T." He gave a small, nervous smile before ending the video. He played it and put the phone in between the middle of him and Luke. It repeated the same phrase back to them, showing Ryan's small, innocent smile. Luke could feel his heart melt.

"Aww your so adorable." He leaned over and hugged Ryan, who blushed.

"Your getting so many cuddles today."

"You sound so different." Ashley told Ryan, inspecting his face. He smiled at her observation.

"And your face is so much more manly."

"Better watch it, Ash. I'd almost think you were flirting with my boyfriend." Luke stepped up next to Ryan protectively, but jokingly.

"Well he is cute." Ashley booped Ryan's nose and leaned back. Ryan blushed, smiling.

"Well he's mine." Luke took a step forward and Ryan couldn't help but laugh.

"Well I'm appreciative of your commitment. You're very loyal." Ryan put a reassuring hand on Luke's shoulder, who turned to him and smiled.

"Ashley's right, though. You are very manly." Luke put his arms around Ryan's shoulders.

"Ewww! Common! Really? No mushy romantic stuff." Chris complained.

"That isn't metal at all."

"Oh I'm sorry would you like us to kiss while stabbing each other repeatedly?" Luke replied.

"Now that's kinky." Ashley said, taking a bite of pizza.

"Honestly at least that would be entertaining." Chris shrugged.

"I'm in." Ryan said and Luke turned back to him.

"What are we in a cult now?"

"Dude you were in a cult ever since you became friends with us." Ashley teased. Luke shrugged.

"Your not wrong. We've had a surprising amount of satanic rituals."

"What?" Ryan laughed nervously.

"Haha. Just kidding." Luke said in a fake tone. Ryan rolled his eyes.

"No I mean why haven't I gotten to participate in one of your satanic rituals yet?"

"We'll have one soon."

"You are all weird." Victor said from the other side of the table.

"Hypocrite." Alex mumbled.

"Excuse me?"

"Hey hey." James called out softly.

"We're all weird here. Let's chill and let people have their satanic rituals."

"How did the conversation get here?" Matt joined in. He and Hunter had been talking to each other and now they were both leaning in to hear the conversation.

"Well." Luke said, smiling and turning back to Ryan.

"It started with us talking about how manly Ryan is. Seriously I'm so proud of you. One month on T! That's crazy! It seemed like yesterday that you had gotten your first shot."

"I know right." Ryan smiled back. Suddenly the bell rang and kids began rushing out of the cafeteria.

"Well it's time for class." Ryan said as they began walking.

"Speaking of which. Is everyone being nice? The teachers? Are they calling you the correct pronouns and name? And are the students?"

"Ok chill mom. Yea I'm fine." Ryan said but Luke could tell from his voice that he was appreciative of his protectiveness.

"Just making sure." Luke smiled to himself. They continued walking down the slowly dissipating hallways and soon Ryan disappeared into his classroom.

"Common. You have to come over." Luke argued as the bus approached their stop.

"I'm coming over to!" Matt said.

"Yea Matt's coming. You have to."

"Ok fine. But you better explain to my parents why I wasn't home. We're supposed to have reading together time."

"Ryan that's cheesy."

"Ok but it's fun!"

"Alright. I'll explain to them why." Luke promised, glancing with a smile at Matt, who looked back at him with knowing eyes. The bus stopped and the three spilled out. They walked to Luke's house, talking on the way. Luke tried to walk slowly, taking his time. However they were at Luke's house sooner then he intended. Once they were approaching his house, he pulled out his phone and texted his mom.

"Ready?" Was all he said. She responded with a simple

"Yup." Luke nodded subtly and got his key. He didn't say anything as he unlocked and opened the door. He cracked it open and walked in, Matt after him. It was dark inside. Once Ryan walked in, a stream of blinding light blared over them.

"Surprise!" Everyone yelled. Luke smiled as Ryan's eyes widened. Their whole group of friends were there, including Hunter. Ryan's and Luke's parents were both there. The house had a few streamers hanging here and there and Ryan could see bowls of snacks in the kitchen.

"Happy one month on T!" Luke yelled, waving his hands around.

"Aww what? Luke you didn't have to!"

"I know I know. We're not going to have parties every month but it felt exciting. Like a big land mark. I mean it's already been one month sense you started and I felt like it was appropriate to celebrate."

"Aww thank you, Luke!" Ryan embraced him in a hug and laughed.

"So that's why you wanted me to come over so bad. And you were here anyways!" He said turning to his parents. They shrugged, smiling.

"We're proud of you, Ryan." Ryan beamed at the sound of his name.

"Well let's get this satanic ritual started!" Ashley screamed and everyone cheered.

"Wait What?"

Ryan, Luke, and their friends all hung out for hours, stuffing their faces with junk food, watching Netflix shows, and messing around. It all went by so quickly and soon it was pretty late.

"Well we should be heading out." Ashley said, glancing at the time.

"So we can leave you two be." She added, looking suggestively at Luke.

"Your not going to stay the night?" He asked.

"Well... we have plans. Right guys?" The group all mumbled their agreements.

"And I'm sure you do to." Ashley elbowed Luke, her hinting not subtle in the slightest.

"We'll go get our stuff." She said, getting up, and everyone else followed, leaving Ryan and Luke staring at each other.

"Well uh... we should probably see them to the door." Luke said, awkwardly standing up.

"Yes. That's a good idea." They reached the door just as everyone had gotten ready to leave.

"Well we had a good time, Luke." Ashley said, hurriedly opening the door.

"See you on Monday!" Everyone crowded into her car and she drove off.

"Well they seemed quick to leave." Luke laughed nervously.

"Yea..."

"See you later, Ryan." Ryan turned around to see his parents approaching.

"We're gonna head off."

"Wha...?"

"Have a nice time."

"I didn't know I was... oh ok bye." Ryan's parents left the two standing there in the door way.

"That was sudden." Ryan mumbled.

"Yea." Luke looked around.

"Well they were right. It's getting a bit late. We should probably..."

"Yea." Luke hurried past Ryan, who followed him upstairs. Luke pushed open the door to his room and kicked some clothing on the floor aside.

"It's messy..."

"I don't care." Ryan sat down on Luke's bed, scooting to the side closest to the wall. Luke smiled awkwardly and sat down next to him. Ryan put an arm around Luke's shoulder, leaning into him. Luke turned and held Ryan close.

"Thank you for existing." He mumbled, putting a hand on Ryan's cheek and running his thumb over it. Ryan laughed faintly.

"Your the best boyfriend anyone could ever ask for." Ryan grinned widely. This was such a simple term but it made his heart swell. Not only because he knew that Luke meant it, that he could feel his truthfulness in his heart, but that the term boyfriend was being used to refer to him. He felt so excepted. He felt so lucky to have met someone who truly loved and excepted him for who he was so truly. That someone's heart melted at the thought of him and not only him but the REAL him. Not some girl that he wasn't that people wished he was or expected him to be. Not some delusion people saw through the wall of denial. No. The true him.

"Your welcome I gue..." Luke interrupted him with a kiss.

"I want this moment to last forever." He said.

"Me to." Ryan kissed back, pulling Luke closer. He embraced him as if if he let go he would lose him forever. He was telling the truth. Because he wanted this moment of understanding to last forever, even beyond their deaths. Because he knew that words couldn't describe how he felt about anything. About Luke. About loving Luke. About Luke loving him. About Luke seeing him for who he truly was. No words could describe it, except this comfortable silence between them. And he hoped that throughout their lives it could stay that way.

Luke unlocked the mailbox, next to Ryan, who did the same.

"Hey."

"Hi." Luke smiled and kissed Ryan.

"You're adorable."

"Off to the park, than?"

"Yup."

By now I would say something like "the end" or that I was drawing this story to a close. But truth is, this story isn't over. And it will never end. So I will say this instead:

~NOT the end~

Thank you for reading

Sincerely, Grey