The next morning, Jughead was gone again. So was Archie, he had morning football practice and since nobody thought it was a good idea for me to walk on my own, I went with him. It was cold enough that I needed a sweater and I ended up wearing a light rain coat over top as well. The sky was dark and the grass was covered in dew. The bleachers were also wet, so I laid my rain coat over a small section and sat down with a book. When the first morning bell rang, I snuck away from the field without Archie noticing. I knew it wasn't the best idea, but it had been a long time since my friends and family had let me walk around on my own.

Of course, I ran into Jughead inside. I was frustrated because I knew he wasn't gonna leave me until I was in class, but I was also happy to see him and almost relieved because honestly, I hated walking through the halls alone. I knew that, so why did I walk off on my own? I have no fucking clue.

"Hey, what are you doing? Where's Archie?" He asked when he got close to me. I just stared at him for a second.

"Why are you here?" I asked.

"Because it's a school day?" He responded, confused.

"You're never here this early."

"Once in a blue moon." He told me. Liar.

Jughead walked me to our first class and we took our usual seats in the back. It was probably boring as hell, but thoughts kept me occupied. Two classes later, we were sitting on the same bleachers that I had been on this morning, eating lunch with Betty, Archie and Veronica. They were talking about some sort of 'date' that Betty had been on until Valerie showed up to talk to Archie.

"I know Ms.Grundy was tutoring you," Valerie said.

"Understatement of the year." Veronica said quietly. I brought a hand up to my mouth to keep my laugh from being to loud. Arch was still pretty broken up about this whole thing and I didn't want him to think I was laughing at him.

"-now you have zero excuse for avoiding music." Betty finished telling Archie. I noticed that Valerie had left, but it wasn't long before her absence was replaced by Cheryl Blossom, holding a bunch of black envelopes.

"Sorry to interrupt sad breakfast club," She said it as an insult, but was it really? "But I'm here to formally invite you to Jason's memorial this weekend." Cheryl said as she passed out the invitations. Great, a funeral. With a dead body. That wasn't going to scare me at all. No disrespect to Jason, but I did not want to go. I would though, I could make myself. He had been a good kid. Or had he? His name had been in that book of conquests after all.

Later that night, both Archie and I managed to sneak people into our rooms without dad knowing. Archie wasn't really trying to hide Valerie, they just happened to enter the house when dad wasn't home. I was trying to hide Jughead. I felt guilty about it, but I wasn't in the right state of mind to be answering all the questions that my dad was sure to have for me. Jug wasn't there for very long, especially after dad walked into Archie's room and met Valerie. We could hear bits and pieces of what they were saying from my room downstairs. It was a small house, it wasn't exactly hard.

"Maybe I should go." Jughead said. We were sitting on my bed, talking about everything and nothing at the same time.

"Maybe you should." I responded with a sigh. "I don't want you to though."

"Do you wanna talk to your dad?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "No, not really."

"Then ya, I should go before he comes in here." He stood up and began to open my window. "Hey, are you going to Jason's funeral?"

"I guess. Why?"

"I wasn't sure if you would."

"Why?"

"I don't know, because-"

"Being in the same room as a dead body could send me spiraling into an abyss of sadness and confusion?"

"Yeah."

"It could, but I should go. Be disrespectful not to."

"Maybe, but it could be better for you not to."

"We'll see." I said. I said these things without really thinking. I was tired and didn't really have the energy to talk.

"I was just asking because Betty was talking to one of Jason's old friends and he said that Jason was acting really weird before he died."

"You think he was hiding something?"

"Maybe. We're gonna find out."

"At his funeral? And I thought I was disrespecting him by not going."

"So you're not going."

"...No. I think I'll go. To keep you and Betty in line."

"It's not like we're going to vandalize his coffin, we're just gonna look around his room."

"For what?"

"We don't know yet."

I nodded my head in understanding and Jughead crawled out my window. When he had said goodbye and closed the window, I leaned over and pulled one of my handles that was attached to the curtains. They closed and I was enveloped in darkness.

I think the world is just such a bright place. Some people say it's dark and cruel and while I agree that it's cruel, the flashlights and the neon signs and the brilliant sunlight all contradict the darkness. Sometimes I think it's too bright and I have to sit in my room and turn all the lights just to feel balanced again.

My dad knocked on the door and I knew he was listening for me tell him to come in. I did.

"Hey, how are you holding up?" He asked.

"Cheryl invited us to Jason's memorial." I answered, not really giving him a direct answer, but also telling him exactly what he asked for.

"You don't have to go, you know that."

"I feel like I have to."

"Why?" He asked, sitting down on my bed.

"I don't know."

We stayed silent for a moment. It wasn't silent for though, my brain was still running wild with thoughts. What if Jason wasn't dead? Well that wasn't possible. What if we found out why he was acting strange? Who killed him? Was it someone I knew? I wouldn't sleep for a long time if it was. I wouldn't trust anyone. What if Jughead killed him? He didn't. I knew that. What if it was a kid though? What if had been Polly? No, she hadn't. Polly's parents? No, they had an image to uphold. Where was Polly anyway? She had been put in a home, but why? Was I going to be put in a home? No. Maybe.

"Dad, would you ever put me in a home? Like where the Coopers sent Polly?"

"What? Why would you ask that?"

"They put Polly there because she's crazy. I'm crazier than Polly."

"You don't know that, we don't know what happened with her."

"Would you do it."

He sighed, "I would only ever think about sending you away, if you got worse. And when I say worse, I mean a lot worse. If you were hurting yourself or somebody else-not that I think you ever would. If it got really bad, so that you weren't functioning enough to take care of yourself, I might do it. Only to get you help."

I nodded.

"You'd tell if it's getting worse, right?"

I nodded.

"You know you can tell me anything?"

I remained silent. I could tell him anything. Wasn't there something I had to tell him? Something. A lovely, beautiful, happy something and I couldn't remember what it was. I could figure it out though. Happiness. Happiness was sitting in a booth at Pop's with fries and a milkshake. But there was something missing from this scenario. I wasn't alone in Pop's, Jughead was sitting across from me. Jughead.

"I'm dating Jughead." I said aloud.

"What?" Dad said, confused. He was probably confused because this was a seemingly random thought, not to me, but blurted out like that, it was definitely random. "Jughead? You're dating Jughead Jones?"

"Yeah," I said, still just kinda staring into the dark corner of my room.

"Okay. I guess I should've known that, I mean you have been spending a lot of time together."

"You didn't think I was ever going to start dating, did you?" I smiled.

"Well, not exactly-"

"It's okay, dad, neither did I." I laughed. He gave me a smile.

"Alright, well, I will leave you to figure out whether or not you're going to the funeral."

"Okay."

He got up and left my room, telling me not to think to hard about it. Like that was even in the realm of possibility.