T A Y L O R S P.O.V

"You know miss," I said, resting my head on my hand as I looked out her car window, "Today's been really shit. Just want to say thanks for not being horrible to me."

Miss Lauriana chuckled as she continued to drive. "Oh shush Taylor, you know I'm always going to be good to you. Side note; don't call me 'miss' outside of school - that's just... weird. Call me by my first name."

I smiled. "Sure thing, Dianne."

It was about six in the evening, and Miss Lauriana drove me home. We sang along to songs on the radio and had a heated discussion on who was the best classical pianist. We had just left a set of traffic lights when she spoke again.

"Did you ever end up finding out why Darko left my music room so suddenly?" Miss Lauriana asked, turning a corner. I whipped out my phone and read aloud my conversation with Darko.

"That seems fishy..." she said. "I hope things are okay with him. He hasn't been very stable these past few weeks."

I nodded in agreement. "So many things don't make any sense with him anymore. It's like he's hiding something from me. I just can't help shake the feeling that he's struggling with something and that he needs help."

She shrugged. "Maybe he is. Have you ever asked him if he's okay?"

"Well... no. Not in person."

She laughed. "Well, you better do it first thing tomorrow."

We sat in comfortable silence. Miss Lauriana's focus may have been on the road, but mine was on Darko.

"We're here," she said, snapping me out of my reverie. She pulled into the driveway as I reached in front of my seat, plucking my schoolbag from the car's floor.

"You know, you can stay over for dinner if you like. It would be cool for you and Mum to catch up - you haven't talked in a long time."

"Thanks," she said, looking toward the house, "but, I can't. I need to get home to cook for my kids."

"Ah right, I forgot about AJ and Micah. Tell them I said hey!" I said, earning a smile from her. AJ and Micah are twins, and the sassiest boys I've ever met.

"See you tomorrow, Dianne."

Miss Lauriana smiled. "Have a lovely birthday, Taylor."

I opened the car door and trudged towards the front of my house, waving her off as she reversed out of my driveway. The tiny turquoise car sped off, little liquorice-coloured puffs of smoke jetting out of her exhaust pipe as she turned out of our street.

While calling out to Ana, I knocked on the door. I had my own key, but I figured that Ana would want me to wait outside for her surprise to really have a good effect on me.

I held my breath. Although I had been bottling it in for the last half of the day, I was absolutely terrified of spending my first birthday without my dad. I don't know how any of us are going to handle doing something 'big' without him.

Only time will tell.

Almost instantly, I heard footsteps thunder down my wooden hallway, stopping abruptly at the oak slab in front of me.

"DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT COME IN YET!" Ana had shouted before shuffling off. Chuckling, I sat on the porch and flicked through my bag, grabbing Darko's unopened present out.

I forgot about that. I've been so focused on why he left to remember that he actually got me something.

I opened the gift bag and fished out a wrapped, rectangular box. Shaking it lightly, I listened inside, anticipating what the gift was.

It sounded grainy and weirdly dense.

I started to preen the paper away when I noticed a card at the bottom of the gift bag. I put the present aside and grabbed the tiny card, flipping it open.

'You told me you were craving this before. Happy birthday, Taylor <3 Warning: DO NOT SHAKE PRESENT!"

My heart skipped a beat when I read the tiny heart he drew. It then tripled in speed when I read the warning.

Shit.

I hastily opened the gift and saw my present. A gross, soggy heap of broken sushi rolls.

Great.

"All right, you can come in, I just need to-" Ana said suddenly, poking her head out of the doorway. She stopped talking as she noticed my hand.

"What the hell Taylor? Are you okay?" She said, moving to sit next to me. She grabbed my wrist and inspected the gauze around my wound. I shrugged.

"Just a knife slip in woodwork," I said, "I'll be fine."

Ana nodded thoughtfully, before looking at the tray of 'sushi' on my lap. She started chuckling.

"Bro, I don't think that's how you eat sushi." She giggled. I rolled my eyes.

"It was a gift from Darko. I shook it before I read the card that said 'DO NOT SHAKE PRESENT'." I said, rocking my head back. "I was really looking forward to having some food..."

Ana beamed. "Well, that's a relief."

I lifted a brow. "Huh, what?"

My eyes glanced over Ana. Her hands appeared to be covered in a white substance, and she was wearing an apron smeared with what I hoped was chocolate. What was she up to?

Ana shook her head before tapping her nose. "In due time, you will know."

She pulled a handkerchief out of her pocket, showing it to me. "For my surprise to be perfect, I need you to wear this. I'll walk you in the house, so don't worry about crashing into furniture. I just need you to put this on."

I snorted. "Fine. Just, be careful."

I took off my glasses and hooked them on my collar, allowing Ana to wrap the silky-blue fabric around my eyes. She lifted the sushi mess from my lap and, judging from the crunchy noise the gift bag made, put it away. I stood up and let Ana lead me into the house. My lips bristled against the loose tips of the handkerchief that dangled in front of my mouth.

"Okay, you're doing great," Ana said, stopping. "Just a little further..."

"Where are you taking me?" I asked. I couldn't see her face, but I assumed she had smiled. Or, she had rolled her eyes.

"It's called a surprise for a reason," she said. Yeah, she definitely rolled her eyes.

"All right, just sit down here and I'll be back in a second."

I sat down at the chair Ana guided me to. I instantly recognised that it was the dining table chair - the squeak of my chair's backboard was distinguishable enough.

After a few minutes, I heard footsteps approach me. A chair squealed and shuffled over next to me, and the clink of cutlery could be heard as it was placed on the table. The sound of bowls clinking could be heard. Someone cleared their throat.

"Mum, would you do the honours of taking the blindfold off?" Ana said. After a few moments, I felt hands gently pry away at the knot Ana tied.

As the handkerchief came off, I had to stop my jaw from hitting the ground. In front of me was the most beautiful, two-tier cake I had ever seen in my entire eighteen years on this planet.

It was covered in creamy-white fondant, with tiny rainbow detailing around the edges. Dark caramel sauce and liquid chocolate dribbled from the top layer to the bottom, the liquids eagerly meeting with the buttery cookie crumble at the base. Iced crimson roses rested on top of the crumble, making my mouth salivate at the thought of tasting them. The scent of slightly burned caramel wafted in the air, like sea spray at the beach.

They began singing the birthday song, my heart filling with warmth as the tune filled the air. The eighteen candles burned a beautiful incandescent orange as I watched a wax bead roll down one of the shafts. I found myself grinning, eyes shut, lettting myself get lost in this moment. 

"Make a wish!" Ana said, pointing to the candle. I chuckled to myself, leaning forward, eyes still shut.

'I wish...' I thought. 'I wish I could kiss Darko. Just once. Or a million times.'

I blew out the candle. Ana and Mum had smiled before Mum started cutting the cake. Ana told me about how she made everything.

"See the rainbows?" She said, pointing to one of the dozen fondant rainbows that covered the cake. "You can take a guess as to why those were included."

I sighed, smirking. "Gee, I wonder why."

We shared a laugh, before we looked at mum, smiling. Ana's face fell when she saw how many slices she had cut.

"Mum... you don't need to cut four..."

Mum looked at Ana, before looking at the slices she had cut. She forced a laugh out, before putting down the knife.

"I'm sorry, I didn't even realise. Just a habit that I haven't shaken off yet." She said. Her words sounded forced. Ana and I shared a look before I spoke.

"No, this is good. Here," I said, plucking the candle out of the cake's top. "I have an idea."

I got up and fetched a bowl. Placing the extra slice of cake in it, I put the bowl in front of the only empty seat at our table. The candle slid easily into the sponge insides as I lit the wick. The tiny orange glow brightened the dim dining room.

I gripped the chair, sighing, before looking at everyone. "This is the first birthday that we are having without Dad here. I... I don't know, I think this would be a nice, small sign of respect for him."

I sat back down. We all looked at the slice of cake with a candle wedged in it.

"You're right," Mum said, her voice a bit shaky. "This... this is nice."

We all stared at the candle. I could head mum's breath speed up as a few wax droplets rolled down onto the sponge dessert. I felt my cheeks burn up.

Ana sighed. "Come on guys, let's not turn Taylor's birthday into a sad episode... Dad wouldn't have wanted this. Let's just enjoy each other's company and the cake. Please?"

Mother and I nodded. Ana perked up, passing the cut slices around until we all had one each.

We talked about our day as we ate - it was a decent enough distraction. I explained to mum what happened with the knife, but nothing more than that. For some reason, I don't like it when mum knows about the drama between me and my friends. Part of me knows that I feel this way because I confided these things with dad, the other part just doesn't want me to tell anybody else.

Ana told us how her appointment with her psychologist went. She was told about the Five Stages of Grief, and that she was nearly through the fourth stage. Ana whispered to me that Mum was still stuck in stage one, while I'm at the acceptance stage. Stage 5.

"That cake was delicious," Mum said, smiling at Ana. "Where did you learn how to cook that?"

"Food Science class," Ana said, smirking at me. "I highly recommend it."

Ana and I shared a laugh while mum smiled at us. When we stopped, I found myself staring at the candle again. Half of the wax has melted onto the slice.

Mum noticed Ana and I looking at the candle. Her breathing was unpredictably fast at this point, and her face had gone red - particularly her cheeks. She swallowed hard before she looked up at us.

I placed my hand on mum's hand. Ana glanced at us before I spoke.

"Mum? Everything is fine. Please don't cry."

"I-I'm sorry, I can't do this," she said. Before Ana or I could say another word, Mum stood up and shuffled out of the kitchen, her bedroom door slamming shut.

Ana and I looked at each other. She shook her head before following mum, presumably going to go check on her. I looked at the candle again.

Without a word, I leaned over and blew out Dad's candle.

~~~~~

"So, what else did you get for your birthday?" Ana asked. I shoved the cake into our fridge and took out the sushi pile. Grabbing a spoon, I shuffled to my room, a curious Ana trailing behind me.

"I got this sushi pile from Darko, a cute porcelain piano and card from Bella and some cash from Darko's parents," I called out. I sat on my bed and showed Ana the presents. Her eyes beamed at the piano as I scooped some of the sushi bits into my mouth.

Hey, it might not look like sushi, but it still tasted like it. That's all that matters.

"The piano is beautiful," Ana said, her eyes inspecting the figurine. "Darko went all out on this."

"Darko?" I said with a mouthful of sushi. "Darko didn't get me that. Bella did."

Ana lifted a brow. "Sorry, I assumed Darko did. His initials are scratched on the bottom."

I shrugged. "Easy mistake. Those initials are from the maker of the statue, I'm pretty sure. Must be a huge coincidence."

We shared a comfortable silence as I continued to eat my sushi mess. Ana counted the cash I got from Darko's parents.

"So, what are you doing for Valentine's day?" Ana asked, stacking the money. I knitted my brows, earning a confused look from her.

"Valentine's day? When's that?"

"Uh, in three days?" Ana said, scoffing. "Don't tell me you forgot."

I shrugged. Ana's eyes widened.

"Dude! How can you forget? Do you remember that you're performing on that night? In front of the whole school?!"

Oh shit. Right. My performance. I've been so preoccupied with things for the past month, I completely forgot.

"SHIT!" I said, running a hand through my hair. "I'm fucked! I haven't practised any of my songs in ages, and my hand is injured!"

Ana sighed. "Shit dude. I'm sure you'll be fine. Piano comes naturally to you."

I shook my head. Noticing my nerves, Ana spoke up, attempting to change the subject. "Look, forget about the performance stuff for now. What I meant before was, are you going to ask anybody out?"

I lifted a brow, then furrowed them when I noticed she was wiggling her's at me.

"Are you going to ask a particular boy to be your Valentine?" She said, her tone indulgent. I rolled my eyes.

"As much as I want to, you know I can't. He's straight. Besides, I think someone else is going to ask me out anyway."

"Ooh, who? Do I know them?" Ana asked, her voice bubbling with curiosity. I sighed before I fished out Bella's love letter.

"Read this."

Ana's eyes flicked through the parchment, her eyes widening as she looked up at me. She shook her head.

"Please tell me you're not actually contemplating a relationship with that witch."

I grimaced. "A relationship? No, of course not. A Valentine's dance though..."

"Why?" Ana asked, throwing the letter on my pillow. I groaned.

"Because maybe spending time with her will help me get over my feelings for Darko. Yeah, she's been a bit of a bitch for the past few weeks, but she apologised for everything today. I just feel she deserves a second chance."

Ana's eyes widened. "You do realise this is the same girl that made you drink eight cups of beer, the same girl that kissed you when you were drunk, and the same girl that grabbed your dick at Lyra's party? She's nothing but trouble bro!"

I sat there, letting the words sink in. "You're right... what am I doing?"

Ana groaned. "You're about to make one of the biggest mistakes of your high school life. Do not, I repeat, do NOT ask Bella to be your Valentine. I get bad vibes from her. Really bad vibes."

I rolled my neck toward her, sighing before leaning back onto my mattress. "Who should I ask out then? Darko?"

Ana didn't respond. She just looked at me suggestively, flicking both eyebrows up at the same time.

"Uh, yeah!"