T A Y L O R' S P. O. V.

Thursday, January 31st, 2014

I shoved my house key deep into the front door's lock, fighting against the rust embedded within it, and turned it. Through the slab of oak-wood, I couldn't hear a thing.

Was mum feeling better, or did she pass out? 

I twisted the doorknob and slowly opened the door.

"Ana?" I shouted, "I'm home!"

She poked her head out from the kitchen and whispered: "be quiet." She gestured for me to come to the kitchen.

"Sorry I was a little late," I whispered, "Darko dropped me off."

She was brewing some chamomile tea; mum's favourite. Ana had explained everything that had happened - mum came home, had a fit (she threw some plates; Ana had already cleaned them up), drank a bottle of whisky before blanking out on the couch. Ana had managed to get her to her room just before I came home, but Mum was still unstable.

"She said Dad's name before, Tay. She has been saying it too much; I don't think her pills are working anymore."

"Or maybe she's just not taking them," I stated, sighing. "I'll go check her out."

Ana handed me the warm cup of the tea as I slinked out of the kitchen. I made my way to mum's room quietly, being careful not to spill the warm beverage. I hovered over the door, leaning so my ear was just touching it, and there it was - the softest, most heartbreaking sobs were audible.

She misses dad so much; it's the most distressing thing to listen to.

"Mum... I'm here," I said as I softly pushed her bedroom door open, "are you okay?"

Mum slowly looked up at me from her bed, her eyes puffy from her tears and her face flushed. Her room was an absolute mess; there were pillows scattered everywhere, the blanket was twisted up, a glass had been knocked off of her bedside table, and there were many empty bottles of alcohol scattered at the base of her shelf, a buildup from the past few weeks. She began to sob harder as I approached her bed.

"Oh my God," she said suddenly, wiping a tear from her face. "M-Matthew, you're back! I - I... I thought you..."

Matthew? She... she just mistook me for my dad. Oh christ...

I felt my cheeks burn up as she clumsily stumbled towards me, wrapping me in a tight hug. My heart fluttered, but not in an affectionate way. I felt nauseous. I can't believe she just mistook me for him. Her soft sobbing sent ice shards through my chest.

Mum was stuttering all over her words, her palms were shaking as she began to speak, "You... you've come home. I-I've missed you. I love you so much-"

"Mum... it's not Dad. You're hugging me- Taylor."

I felt her arms falter as she looked up at me. Her eyes began to get watery again, and her smile faded into a sad frown.

About four months ago, dad and I were driving home from our routine Saturday morning fishing trip. We were meant to stay out for longer, but I was extra tired that morning because I had a performance the night before, so we cut the trip quite short. It was roughly 3am, so we were both exhausted. The next thing I knew, something had hit our car. The force... It's indescribable. I remember flailing half awake as our car tumbled and tossed and turned off the street into a thick tree. It was horrific.

According to the nurse that rescued me from the rubble, it was a truck that had hit us. It sped off on impact, completely ignoring us. A large glass shard from the windshield impaled Dad, and I managed to survive with just a broken arm, minor cuts, and bruises. I ended up needing stitching, and I never heard from that driver again. I barely even remember what the truck looked like.

We were all broken, mum especially.

"Oh... oh my God... I'm so sorry Taylor. I'm so sorry..."

"It's okay," I whispered, hesitantly.

It wasn't fine.

"Have you taken your pills today?"

She hung her head. After a minute of silence, she shook her head. "No. I haven't."

I sighed. "Mum... why not? You know they help you. We can't afford to go back to therapy."

She shook her head. I sighed again, wrapping her up in my arms. "Okay, from now on, every morning, I'm gonna watch you take those pills, and every day you don't, I'm taking away your credit card. I will not let you poison yourself with alcohol, okay? I love you... I don't want to lose you as well."

Mum began to cry again. I let her weep into my chest, my shirt becoming soaked with her tears. I started to cry as well; hearing mum like this, seeing mum like this, and have her bawl her eyes out on me... fuck, you'd be deranged if you didn't feel sad.

"Hey," I said after a couple of minutes, "Let's get your bed ready. Today has gone on for too long, and you need some rest. Drink some of the tea that Ana brewed."

She nodded softly, lifting herself from my (now soaked) torso. I gestured to the cup on her bedside table, and she immediately grabbed it, slowly drinking the warm liquid. After a few moments, she handed me the empty cup and looked me straight in the eyes.

"I love you, Taylor."

I wiped a tear away. "I love you too, mum. I'll put on some of my recordings, okay? I've got to head out. Get some rest."

~~~~~~~

I walked out and softly shut the door. Ana was waiting outside, her arms folded and her eyes puffy. I think she cried a little bit too; she must have heard what had happened.

"Is she going to be okay?" She questioned. I quickly nodded, and she sighed in relief. I handed her the cup, which made her smile weakly.

"I take it she liked my tea... huh. I always thought I brewed it wrong," she said, walking back to the kitchen.

"Are you okay with watching her? I told Darko that I'd sleep over at his place," I said, following her. Ana sighed.

"But you just hung out with him..."

I placed a hand on her shoulder. "I know, I know, but he has the flu-"

"But nothing! It's just the flu. He's 18; I'm sure he can take care of himself." Ana retorted.

"He can't. Before he dropped me off, he asked me to come over. He doesn't want to spend the night alone; his entire family is going to be out."

Ana hesitantly nodded as she placed the empty mug into the sink. Realising that she might make me stay home anyway, I spoke up.

"Besides, I need you here to keep an eye on mum. I've just calmed her down with some of the stuff I recorded for her. Can you be the best little sister? Please?"

Ana went to nod, but her stomach grumbled. She quickly grasped it and darted her eyes to the fridge. "Sorry, mum hadn't cooked anything yet, and I'm starving."

Ana stroked her chin, her eyes narrowing as she smirked. "How about this; you make me some food, and you can go."

"Sure," I said, smiling warmly, "I'll teach you how to make stir fry."

~~~~~

"Jeez Taylor, where did you learn how to make this? It's so good!" Ana managed to say through her mouthful of food. I chuckled.

"Food Science class. I highly recommend it." I said, making her snort. She checked her watch as I turned the TV on for her, putting some pre-recorded Futurama on.

"Tay, it's nearly 8," She said, "If you want to go see your boyfriend, you better go soon before he falls asleep."

I laughed at her joke, a mockery of how I was feeling inside. Darko's boyfriend.

"What makes him and me 'boyfriends'?" I questioned. Ana chuckled.

"Dude, I was joking. You do act a little gay around him though... is there something you're not telling me?" she said sarcastically. I laughed but was still preoccupied with what she first said.

Hehe. It was fun to say it in my head. 'Darko is my boyfriend.' Like that would ever happen.

"Anyway," I said, getting up from the couch, "I'll be at Darko's. Are you all good? Message me if you need anything."

Ana toothily smiled, a few bits of stir fry poking out from her maw, "I'll be okay. Besides, Futurama is on. I couldn't ask for anything more."

I waved and said bye to her as I walked to the front door, quickly shooting Darko a text. 'Hey bro, crisis averted. Pick me up soon? (:'

Darko replied almost immediately. 'Yeah, sure thing. See you soon, bro <3.'

I smiled at my phone as I waited on the porch. Darko never usually sends me hearts. It made me smile like an idiot while I waited for him.

A heart emoji's just a heart emoji, right? Like, they shouldn't mean anything? They're just groups of coloured pixels, they shouldn't mean anything serious...

'Should I send one back? Would it be too obvious that I like him? Do two guys even send heart emojis to each other!?' a voice echoed in my head. Impulsively, I sent him one.

He sent a smiley emoji back.

Surely that meant nothing.... right?