It had been 4 months since you had had that terrible fight. 4 months since you were kidnapped. 4 months since you had lost the baby you didn't even know you were carrying.

It had been 3 months since Spencer had proposed. 3 months since you had moved into the new house with him.

But, it had also been 3 months since you began lying to Spencer.

Every Sunday you said you were going on a run. You would kiss him goodbye, stroking his cheekbone with your fingers. He would whisper a soft 'I love you', caressing your waist before letting you go. You would smile and wave before leaving your home and getting into your car.

You would drive in silence until you got to the building, handing your keys to the valet and walking inside. You would smile at the receptionist out of habit, her seeing you and sending you right up.

You walked into the dark room, the blinds lowering as you closed the door. "Thank you for joining me," the man said quietly, putting down the file he was reading.

You sat down across from him, crossing your legs. "Not like I had much of a choice," you muttered, putting your purse on the ground.

"I would've thought after 3 months of meeting like this, you would have warmed up to me."

"I don't see why? I don't want to be here. I'd much rather be at home with my wonderful fiancé, planning my wedding."

"Well, this arrangement is nonnegotiable."

"I'm aware," you said, standing up and laying on the couch. "Go ahead, let's get this over with."

"You know you don't have to lie on the couch."

"I read the agreement. If I fall asleep, you can't bother me anymore. So maybe, just maybe, I'll fall asleep one of these days."

"Y/N," he said with a sigh. "This is not a punishment. This is to help you."

You sat up, holding your face in your hands. "It's not helping. Rehashing the events of April and May are not what I want. I never want to think about any of this ever again. I just want to move on with my life."

"I understand."

"Like hell you understand. If you understood, you wouldn't have me here."

"Y/N, therapy is not the enemy."

"I am aware. I'm halfway through a PhD in neuroscience. I just don't need to keep talking about this. I was kidnapped and lost my baby. But, Spencer found me, he locked up Susan and James, and he's been by my side every minute he could be since the events."

The man nodded, taking his glasses off. You continued, without taking a breath. "I'm fine. I internalized what I went through. And yeah, it was one of the worst experiences of my life. But, I'm ok. I'm healthy, I'm safe, and I'm with a man who makes me feel safer than I ever thought possible."

"And there's the problem," Dr. Eckford said clearly. You raised an eyebrow, not following. "You're far too dependent on this man. You see no wrong in him. In your eyes, he's perfect."

"He is perfect. He's sweet and kind and caring and has always puts my needs first."

"Alright. I just have one more question. Why is it that you don't tell him you're coming to see me?"

You took a deep breath, shaking your head. "Because. Because it would break him."

"How so?"

"Spencer is a fixer. He sees people in pain and he wants to make it better. But he never focuses on himself. If he knew about my pain, about my hurting, he would internalize it. He would try to fix me and simultaneously would hurt himself, probably without knowing."

"And if he broke?"

"I would break too," you said, your voice cracking. "Spencer keeps me grounded. He keeps me happy."

"Have you thought about talking to him about any of this?"

"No," you said pointedly.

"Why not?"

You blinked a few times, looking at your watch. "Our time is up. See you next week," you said, standing up.

"Actually, I'm clearing you," Dr. Eckford said, making you turn and look at him.

"You're clearing me?"

"This is the first time you've been upfront and honest about everything since we began meeting. You won't budge about Spencer. And that's not perfect, but I can't keep you in therapy over that. So, you're good to go."

You smiled, taking the signed paper out of his hand. "Thank you. Thank you Dr. Eckford," you said, turning to leave. You walked out of the building, smiling at the receptionist on your way out. You got to the valet.

"Your car isn't here," the valet said plainly. You looked at him with an annoyed look.

"What do you mean it's not here?" You asked in an exasperated tone. All you wanted was to get back home and snuggle into bed, enjoying the day with Spencer before he was whisked away on another case.

"Someone came and picked up your car."

"You let some random person take my car?" You asked, pinching the bridge of your nose.

"I flashed the badge," came a voice from behind you. You turned and frowned, crossing your arms.

"Derek, what are you doing here?"

"Well talk in the car," he said, throwing the keys to you. You blinked rapidly but followed, climbing into the driver's seat.

"Derek, what is going on?" You asked, turning the car on.

"Are you cheating on Spencer?" He asked plainly, making your hand slip, honking the horn.

"Am i what?" you screeched. "Cheating on Spencer? What possessed you to think of that."

"Spencer's been off for weeks. He's been spacing out during geographical profiles, fumbling his gun, not sleeping well."

"And why does this point to me being unfaithful?"

"I've been trying to figure out what's been up with him for a while. And he finally opened up. He broke down in tears one day."

"He what?" You asked, your heart sinking.

"He's so worried you'll leave him."

"Derek, did he say that he thought I was cheating?"

"No. But I'm a profiler. I put two and two together. You would never give up your one day with him over running."

"Derek, I'm not cheating on him. Nor would I ever consider it," you said, pulling up to his place.

"Then what is with the secret trips?"

"I'm in therapy Derek! Mandated therapy after all the hell I went through. And today was my last session. So, if you could not mention this to Spencer. I don't need him to worry about me. He had enough to worry about with the job," you said, exhausted.

Derek frowned, hugging you as you began to cry. "I'm sorry. I won't say a thing, you have my word," he whispered, letting you go before getting out of the car. You smiled lightly, pulling out of his driveway and making your way home.

You stepped through the front door and smiled, smelling baked goods. "Spence?" You called.

"In here!" he replied, his voice coming from the kitchen. You walked into see flour everywhere, Spencer frantically mixing things.

"What did you do? Have a flour fight with a ghost?" You asked, walking up to him.

"I wanted to make you cinnamon buns," he said sheepishly. You shook your head, kissing him softly.

"There's a reason I do the cooking Spence" you muttered. He laughed, holding your face in his hand gently.

"How was your run?"

"Good, but I think I'm done with running for a while. How about I help you?"

"Please, I'm in dire need of kisses," he whispered, pulling you back into his arms.** You smiled, thankful for your little pocket of perfection in the world of chaos.

-

Hellllloooo New York. Just kidding. Anyway, this is a filler chapter because I was stuck on the plot I previously thought. It's my last week of classes so I probably won't be able to update for at least another week, but after that I will be writing furiously. Hope you enjoyed this chapter!!