My partner, Johnny, comes upstairs and finds it cute how I'm checking him out on OKC. I'm confused as I haven't logged in lately, like in months. How could I have been looking at his account? I log in and check it out, there's a list of 7 or so people that have been "checked out" from my account today, Johnny's included, and also someone I work with. Well that's embarrassing. Nope, wasn't me. Time to change my password.

The next day at work I was sure to bring it up and laugh about the fact that my OKC account was hacked to the person who was in my viewed list. I didn't want this person thinking I actually looked at his account. We work too closely together and I already get the impression he may see me as more than his boss.

It always pleased him that his luggage tags printed his middle name and first initial as "Chris,T." This is not the type of person who should see his name written out like he's god's gift to earth. I'll refer to him as Chris.

Chris just laughed off the OKC hacking comment I made. I found it strange he had no questions or comments on the subject. Most people would at least ask if you changed you PW, but nothing from Chris. I brushed off the situation.

A few days later I was out of the office for work. Johnny messages me saying it happened again, that I checked him out on OKC. No, I didn't, but I change my password, again.

It's a weekend. I'm having a lazy morning in bed with Johnny. I get a Facebook notification "your account has been logged into from a new location." The ip address points to Chris's home town. My heart's racing, WTF is going on? I take care of the Facebook PW and screed shot the notification. Later that night I get a text from Chris "happy 4th boss, lol." I assume he's drunk and worried about being caught having his access to my Facebook revoked so quickly. No, it can't be him doing this. It's just coincidence, right? Johnny is convinced it's Chris. But that means someone I work with on a very small team is targeting me. This will make work nearly impossible. I can't talk to anyone at work about this, I'll have no way to run my department. The situation will get minimized.

Chris drank a lot. I'd seen it at work events or when we traveled just the 2 of us. He often got out of hand but everyone brushed it off. "He's young." "it was funny." "we've all had those nights, but as long as you show up to work the next day it's fine." I brought it up to him once. "Hey Chris, you need to be more cautious about how much you drink at work events." He didn't speak to me for 3 days. I offended him, told him that "He's not allowed to have fun at work events" he told me when he finally snapped at me. I recoiled. He's 3 times my size and we're in a secluded space at work.

One time while traveling with just us 2 I got very sick. I told him I couldn't make it out for dinner so Chris offered to pick something up from a nearby store. He knocked on my room door and handed me the water he got me. He tried to make small talk as I thanked him and indicated I was going to lay down. It was apparent by his stance in my hotel room doorway he wanted to come in. He moved an inch closer and I said good night, shut my door and locked every lock I could. It wasn't the only time he made me feel uncomfortable.

I hadn't noticed any other accounts being hacked for a while. I was cautious around Chris. Even dissociated when I could. I avoided work outings if he was going. Would back out of lunch plans that he decided to go to once he knew I was going. But we often had to work very closely. We were a team after all. I couldn't do my job without him, and him without me.

Johnny was online checking out his fetlife account one evening. He saw I was also online via the old messenger they used to have. Johnny asks me if I'm logged in. I'm not. Again my hearts racing. It's different this time though. The violations are beginning to feel commonplace, normal, expected. But this hacking is extreme. No one outside of my fetlife friends knows about this account. Definitely no one I work with. And there's some faceless nude photos of me there.

I reached out to fetlife. They gave me the ip address of the last log in. It's the same as the Facebook hack. Shit. I can't avoid this any more. I can't pretend it's just coincidences anymore. But I need proof it's Chris. All I have is an ip address and intuition. I can't take that to HR. The police maybe? Will they help or will it make matters worse if they need to contact my employer?

I start looking into the login history of any account that tracks it. My bank account. Why is there an iPhone logging into it daily. I don't have an iPhone but Chris does. Shit. This is real, this is happening. I don't know what to do. I'll call the bank, while at work, and ask them about the "unknown" log in. Chris is at his desk, right next to mine. The conversation is easily overheard. I hang up with the bank, they can't help. Chris didn't say a thing. Under normal conditions a co worker would inquire. "Wow, is everything ok?, did you change your password? Did any money go missing? " Nothing from him though. So out of character. He's always interested in my personal life.

The next weekend I wake up to a phone call. The caller is calling from my phone number. My heart skips a beat but I answer. No one responds, I just hear breathing.

That's it I've had it. I'm losing my sanity. I spent weeks, months, researching ip addresses and how I might be able to use the only info I have. I've lost sleep, I can't focus at work, Johnny is worried about me and my safety. I am too. But what can I do? Johnny suggests we go to the police. I don't want to but I'm at a dead end. I agree.

The officer is kinder and more receptive to my situation than I expected. This serves as a reminder to me that this is a big deal. I shouldn't minimize it in my own thoughts. She takes the report, every detail. They will use the ip to subpoena the isp. Weeks go by. The officer on my case claims there's no crime, the isp records were never obtained.

My work email keeps doing this strange thing. Messages I've read keep being marked as unread, weird. Is it him or just the multiple devices I use to check it on. I don't know, I can't tell. The server doesn't keep a log in history, that I can see. Should I talk to IT? I know them well. They will help. But that would make this situation real and known at work. No. Not yet. I can't bring myself to do it.

I can't do this any more. My heart is constantly racing. The slightest noise sends me into panic. I get a security camera for my front door and worry a bit less when I hear the door slam from the wind, or when the dogs bark at something they hear. I'm becoming comfortable living in fear, as much as it's impacting my health. At least I have the paper spray Johnny got me. I carry it whenever I'm outside.

Chris and I have a shared account we use for work. Maybe I can get an ip address from that? If it matches that's some proof, right? Dead ends.

What if I send him an ip tracker? I've learned you can place an invisible pixel in an email. It will send you the ip address of where it was read. All I have of Chris's is his work email and a gmail. I test both, on myself first of course. I can't take the risk of him figuring out I'm on to him. Damn it, our work email blocks it, and gmail reroutes to their HQ. Another dead end.

More hours, days, weeks pass. I've called private investigators, they are impressed I've tried the tactics they already have at their disposal. I feel confident that I'm doing all I can but more lost that the professionals can't help.

One last attempt. It's a week before I have a 7 day, out of country trip with Chris. It's with a large group this time, but I'll still be working very close, too close, with him.

I send Chris an email with a shortened link that will track what ip address it was clicked on from. I've tested this, it seems to work. But I'm shaking, what if this tips him off, what if he knows I'm onto him and he attacks me at work. What do I send him to get him to click. I find a local event that this particular breed of neckbeard would be interested in. "Hey Chris, saw this and thought you'd be interested." 5 minutes later Chris replies. Pure panic, no, excitement maybe, a mix of both sets in. I don't care what the reply says. I check the ip tracker, it got a hit! I'm shaking, I can barely type, or hold my phone.

It's the same ip address as the Facebook and fetlife hack! I got it! I have the proof I need! It's Chris who's been stalking me via my accounts! My intuition was right, as much as I didn't want it to be confirmed as him, it is. There's relief, a weight's been removed. But then it sets back in. What do I do now? Go to HR? Back to the police? We've got that trip coming up. I need my team there to do the job. I'll wait till after I'm back. It's not that bad, I'm used to living like this now.

Johnny thinks I'm insane for considering it. He's right, I am. I've lost touch with reality. This situation has me unable me to determine what levels of uncomfortable one can and should live with.

A night of debate and I've made my decision, I won't wait, I'll do it now.

I text my boss, Jay, the next day asking him to meet me for lunch on Sunday. "I need to talk to you away from the office" This is not a normal request. We're close at work, but this is bizarre to him. He tells me I'm scaring him. I wish I can tell him "don't worry"

The following day we meet for lunch. I'm so nervous I could vomit. This is it. This makes this all real now. I tell him everything. I'm worried he may minimize the issue. "Chris's just a kid, he didn't mean anything, I'll talk to him tomorrow." After I finish speaking Jay is at a loss for words. We have a plan in place to take this to HR tomorrow, and he's already helping me find someone to replace Chris on our work trip. Again, I'm relieved and nervous at the same time. Shit is going down TOMORROW! 7 months of living in fear, and finally I can see an end.

My pepper spray is in my pocket. I picked out a work outfit that would conceal it today. Jay calls me, asks me a question. I don't remember what but I take it as an invitation to go to his office. Anything to get away from the person I now know, without a doubt, has been hacking and stalking me. Jay wasn't expecting me but understood. The department head is in his office. Jay is about to inform him of my situation. Having my story told by a 3rd party was surreal. I filled in the details where needed and gave them the folder of evidence I had collected to take to HR. Screenshots, ip address, written accounts of the timeline up to this point, the emails from Chris confirming his involvement, and the info from the IP tracker.

The day is a haze. I was at HR's office at least twice, saw the police drive through the campus, and had to fight my way with the HR director. He didn't feel I had enough evidence to prove the email I sent to Chris's gmail was actually the Chris that worked here. I dug through my work email. Bam! He emailed my work email from his gmail account, once. Enough evidence for our nonbeliever.

Hours go by. It's almost 3pm. WTF is going on. If I keep leaving my desk Chris will know something's up. I can't call HR and ask. He'll hear the conversation.

Chris walks over to me. "Oh shit" he says. He's shoving his work phone in my face, too close for comfort. He got an invite to go to HR for 4pm.

I'm screaming inside. No one else is around. If he's going to do something to me, now is the time. That notice is the forewarning of being fired, that's how they do it at my job. I manage to look concerned and tell him "I'll let you know if I get one." Insinuating maybe our team is being let go, not just you. He walks away, no idea where to.

I sit at my desk, shaking in fear, I don't know when he will return. How could HR betray me like this. They know the situation. Damn it, they should have warned me they were about to send it. I could have fled, I could have gone somewhere safe.

Mike stops by my desk, just to say hi and offer me some leftover catering. I can't eat right now. But in this moment Mike has offered me so much more than the leftovers. He has no idea of what's going on but can see in my face something is wrong. I ask to walk back to his office with him. Chris will never find me there.

An hour, or forever passes by. It's got to be done by now. I know Chris will be escorted back to gather his things. I do not want to be there for that. I sneak to Jay's office. He checks the area for me. Chris is gone.

Jay heard from HR. As per HR I am not allowed to speak to anyone as to why Chris was fired. WTF! Are they serious. This leaves me so vulnerable. If Chris decides to come back to work no one would stop him. In fact they would welcome him with open arms. And I'm left looking like the bitch that fired "the nice, quiet, kid."

The IT dept took a few extra day to gather C's devices. I had time to look through them during that period. The days before our trip was one of so much discovery. Not just what I found on his computer, but what I learned from the people around me.

The day after he was fired I looked into his laptop. IT had no issues getting me into his files. I was Chris's boss and I needed his work. His pictures folder, a lot of personal stuff, stupid memes, vacation pictures, screen shots of the naked cam girls he chatted with, and me. Some pictures I had never seen before, some I had. The pictures I was familiar with were from a cruise I went on months earlier with Johnny. Only these were the ones I deleted. I had a gopro set to take pictures every 10 seconds that hung from my wrist. While walking around I inadvertently took close ups of my ass in a swimsuit. Upon importing my vacation pictures I deleted those from my computer. Where they still on the card?

Then there were some pictures from my Google account, well it was a picture of a picture on a screen. He got into my Google account too? Why didn't I catch that one?

Then the ones I had never seen. Pictures that had been taken around the office and on work trips, me at my desk, me bent over setting up gear, a close up of a hint of cleavage shot from above.

His phone was more of the same. A close up of my ass while he sat behind me, me struggling with an AV rack in a closet while in a dress, video from under a table during a meeting while I'm wearing a skirt, zoomed in up skirt photos, pictures of dates I had written on a post it, pictures of my phone settings showing my fetlife account. The nausea sets in again. I remember all these moments in the pictures he'd taken of me. Him nonchalantly on his phone, looking like his slacking off or answering an email. Little did I know he was filling his spank bank with images of me, during work hours, and keeping a record of my days off. Fucking creep.

I got to his browser history. It was sickening. He researched how to hack someones text messages, he stalked friends of mine on Facebook, as well as my partner, he got into my Amazon, gmail, Facebook, fetlife, work email, okc, and bank account. He read old emails of past relationships, looked at the places I visit, and stalked images from events I go to.

There was hard evidence now. I took it to the local police near work. They couldn't handle it so I went to the county prosecutor office. Most people wouldn't think of that. It was suggested by Johnny's friends. They had a computer forensics dept and could handle the case.

I met with an amazing Detective. He took my packet of evidence and listened to the whole story. It's becoming easier to tell the story, especially when it's to focus on the facts.

At my office I learned more about Chris. How he slandered me to my co workers. I knew I couldn't tell the people I worked with why Chris was fired. But for my safety I knew I had to tell a few people, just the ones close to me. Once they knew the story I heard things from them like, "Chris would complain I didn't pay him enough." He lied and said he made half of what he actually did to co workers. I even fought to get him above normal raises for 2 years. He lied and said I would withhold work from him. They usually responded to him by telling him to talk to my bosses or HR, obviously he never did, you can't take lies to HR and directors.

He spread lies around the office, coercing co workers to take his side, when I wasn't aware there were sides to be had. From these people I learned more about the obsession Chris had with me. He craved to have power over me, he showed them my fetlife profile, he bragged about how compatible we are on okc, he even spoke about being obsessed with my partner. He told them how he tried to catfish me on Reddit. I couldn't blame them though, Chris laid the groundwork and a bit of gaslighting on them. To them I was a bad person and Chris was their friend. Chris was really good at playing the victim, and never was able to take any self responsibility.

9 months went by. I followed up with the detective often. It took a while to subpoena his devices from my company, then run forensics. In early September I got a call from the Detective . They arrested Chris. They showed up early morning at his home where he still lived with his parents, and admitted to everything. He took the card from the gopro and recovered the images, he got my passwords once while I walked away from my computer, he went through my phone when it was left at my desk. I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall. The shock to his family of the type of person he actually is, him cowering while in handcuffs, face to face with what he'd done. No hiding behind a computer screen anymore.

I was on vacation when this happened. I remember thinking, it's not long now till everyone at work will know. He's got a court date set, by then it's public record. I can't help if people know after that point. I didn't have to wait that long though. Later that day co workers started sending me a link "hey didn't you work with this guy? What a creep!" The link was to the county prosecutor's PR page announcing Chris's arrest, mug shot and all. I came back to work and was able to have the truth come out. It. Was. Liberating.

It took another 9 months for his final court date. I worked with prosecutors during that time to determine how I wanted to proceed. I opted for a probation period instead of going through a trial and fighting for jail time. While Chris deserves the jail time he wasn't worth my time nor effort, and a trial would offer him a slim chance of getting off scot free. Also, this way he would get some much needed counseling. 3 years, no contact with me, 3 years sexual offence counseling, 3 years of checking in with a probation officer. This way I can at least hope he will come out understanding that what he did was unacceptable and, fingers crossed, will never do it to another living being again. I knew there was no chance of rehab in jail.

I of course was nervous. I didn't want to see Chris, but I knew whatever I was feeling he was feeling 1000x worse. I didn't have to go but knew I would regret it if I didn't. With my fiancé Johnny at my side I watched as he got up in front of the judge after he cried in the courtroom, and agreed to the terms of his sentence. His mom glared at me the whole time as though this was all my fault. So that's where he gets it from.

"edited some typos, but I'm leaving the paper spray."