In the rough grip of the beautiful man in front of me, I managed to settle myself and my hormones.

"Brandon, we can't do this," I said as I took a step back from him. His eyes turned darker but he remained calm.

I closed my eyes out of disappointment and exhaled loudly. The words that left my mouth hurt my feelings.

The only thing I really wanted when I stood there, was to feel my lips get pressed against his again.

No one could really see us in here, not even hear us. But the thoughts about how strictly wrong it was, brang me the heaviest feeling of anxiety and guilt.

I didn't really know which one of us was the manipulative one. Was it him, the murderer with that seductive gaze and the obsessive vulnerability? Or was it me, the educated nurse who knew exactly how to slowly screw myself inside a person's brain, psychopath or not?

Maybe I was the one who decided that he was going to feel that way around me, because I knew how to handle him like no one else.

Either way, I already had made a very big professional mistake by kissing a patient.

Actually, Brandon was the one who kissed me first, but I didn't hesitate to respond with my own lips even for a short second, and that fact made the whole situation a lot worse...

"When will you be back again?"

I got a bit surprised by the way Brandon took my denial. He was a sensitive man and any kind of turn against him could make him go mad. But right now he was extremely calm.

"I'll bring you some drugs for your skin right after I visit the pharmacy. Then I will be back tomorrow again,"

I smiled at Brandon to show him my kindness and for him to put his trust in me and that I will come back. It felt important for me to have his trust because I didn't want him to hurt himself again because of me.

This time I had no reason to leave him and I wanted him to know that.

"Good. You know I can't be without you for too long,"

I swallowed hard when I listened to his flattering words. He didn't really make it easier for me to stay away from my feelings.

"I know,"

I turned my back at him again and finally left the room with Brandon still inside. I took a deep breath as soon as I reached the hallway and stuck up in my imaginations, I began to walk my way to the pharmacy area.

While I walked past the long, white, silent corridors, I suddenly caught my attention on a person I hadn't seen before.

Normally dressed in a checkered shirt and tall brown trousers, the old, bold, beardy man in hand cuffs walked beside a guard with Harriet walking right in front of them.

The man looked empty in his expressions but he didn't do anything to fight against the guard's grip around his right arm. The man was ugly, and wore a broad, evil grin over his face.

I looked at Harriet who gave me a friendly smile as I walked past the three of them.

The bold man must be another new inmate, I thought...

After getting what I need from the help of Nancy, the red haired pharmacy woman, I began to walk my way back to ward 5.

Just as so many times before, my heart bounced on the inside of my chest while I carried the pills in my hands. It was tempting and challenging every time, but once again, I knew so much better...

I knew I had to ask Brandon about what happened to him and why he ended up in the hot tub, but I just didn't know how. He already told me so much this day and I could tell by the look on his face and his destroyed skin that he was exhausted.

Maybe there was someone else I could ask? I knew nurse Browne was the one who was responsible for his treatment when I was absent, maybe I could ask her? Otherwise, I could come up with a reason to visit Dorothy and ask her if anything happened like I was not already aware.

Either way I needed to know. I had the right to know, because he was my patient.

Carefully, I opened the door to Brandon's cell again and stepped inside. Once again I told the guard to wait outside while I was in there, by now I was not really in need of having him in there at all.

I handed over the pills for Brandon with a glass of water and he swallowed them in a quick move.

I was releaved that I once again managed to carry the many pills down the hospital corridors on my own.

"Try to get some rest, Brandon. Your skin has to heal and your brain is exhausted. I'll see you tomorrow morning,"

Brandon looked at me with an empty face and stayed quiet for a couple of seconds.

"Beverly, can I ask you for a favor?"

No matter how much I wanted to do whatever he wanted to ask, I knew I didn't have a lot of power in my position.

I nodded my head for him to continue with his question.

"I haven't got one fucking single breath of fresh air since I got here. That's the only thing I want, to get outside, just for a minute if that's what it takes. Please, Beverly. Otherwise I'll go fucking insane,"

I got a little bit surprised by Brandon's desperate question of favor, but it was true what he said. Even if he was already insane.

The patients in ward 5 were not often let out, only if they behaved in an abnormal great way, which Brandon really hadn't.

I took a deep breath when I realised that there was probably not much I could do to get him out in the hospital garden, but of course it was worth a try. Every patient deserved to get some fresh air every now and then, and the sunlight was in fact something healthy both for the physical and the mental health.

"I can't promise anything, but I'll do my best to get you out in the garden. I'll speak with Ms. Schwartz," I said as I looked at him with a friendly smile, hoping that he would understand that I was not the one in charge of decisions like that.

Brandon nodded his head and I could see how he was nearly smiling himself as his cheeks created the tiny dimples.

"Thank you,"