I remember the first time I laid eyes on Jaime.

I ran over to her house as soon as I saw the moving truck pull up. There had been talk about us getting a new neighbor for weeks, and I was so excited to have someone else to play with. I always had Jake, but most days all he wanted to do now was play around on his guitar, and then I was left to play all by myself.

Mom said she would take me over to welcome them, so I waited by the front window all morning.

"We're gonna have to let them get settled in first, Josh." She said.

"I know, I just want to say hi and I want to know what kind of games he likes to play."

"Now, how do you know there's going to be a little boy?" She asked. "What if it's a little girl?" I shrugged.

"That's okay too. As long as she likes to play."

And like clockwork, a little girl and her mom hopped out of the van that pulled into their driveway.

That was the first time I remember feeling my heart skip a beat, suddenly feeling super nervous but also.. excited, a huge grin escaping my lips.

"Can we go now?" I asked eagerly, pulling Mom towards the door.

"Alright, alright, we can go say hello." She laughed, taking my hand. "Jake, do you wanna come with us?" He nervously nodded, following her closely, clutching the leg of her pants.

"Hi!" I said cheerfully, going over to her, reaching my hand out. She stared at me nervously before finally smiling, shaking my hand.

"Hi." She said. "My name is Jaime."

"I'm Josh. What kind of games do you like to play?"

"Um.. all kinds."

"Okay great! We can play all the time now." She nodded, now peeking over at Jake.

"Who's that?"

"That's my twin brother, Jake." She laughed.

"Why is he hiding?" I shrugged.

"He's just shy."

"Josh, we should let them get settled in." Mom called out. "You can come back over later." I hesitated for a moment, not wanting to leave her yet.

"Okay.. um.. you can come over whenever you want. Just knock on the back door and I'll come out and play."

"Okay." She laughed, going back over to her mom. I quickly made my way back into the house, watching them unpack all morning, counting down the seconds until she came back over to get me.

"Jaime, I just.. I need you to know that this isn't the alcohol talking. I have wanted this.. for as long as I could remember. You have no idea.." I said, gently caressing her face.

"I really don't." She laughed, leaning in closer. "This whole time, all I've ever wanted was for you to give me.. something, I just needed to know.. either way.. what we were."

It killed me to know that all these years, all she wanted was just.. an inkling of how I might be feeling towards her and somehow I couldn't even give her that.

"Well.. now you know." I sighed, giggling to myself. "Only took me twenty one years."

"Better late than never." She laughed, gently running her fingers up my arm. My heart was pounding now, practically beating out of my chest.

"Please stay tonight." I whispered, not wanting her to leave. "I.. I don't want you to go. Not after.. this. I just-"

"I'll stay." She said, now reaching over for the clothes I had given her last night.

"You can keep those. You.. you look good in them." I sighed, knowing that I would never look nearly as good in them as she did. She made anything look good.

"You are so beautiful, Jaime." I whispered, my eyes moving down to her lips.

"You can't look at me like that if you're not gonna kiss me." She said, staring back at me.

"I'm sorry."

She held her stare on me for a moment before finally getting up, reaching for the door.

"W-where are you going?" I asked, hoping I hadn't scared her off.

"I'm gonna go get changed." I shook my head, pushing myself up from the bed.

"No, you.. you stay here. I'll leave. It's okay." She nodded, watching me with a smile until I made my way out, shutting the door behind me.

Going out into the hallway, I could see Jake's door open, the light on. I hesitated for a moment, unsure of what I would be walking into, but as I got closer, there was just silence. Peeking my head around the door, I saw him lying down on his bed, staring up at the ceiling.

"Hey.. you okay?" I whispered. He looked over at me, forcing a gentle smile.

"Yeah." He sighed." I'm fine."

"You don't look fine." He shrugged.

"Cait and I broke up."

"Oh."

"Yeah, but.. it's fine. I.. I was gonna do it anyway. Why drag it out, you know?" I nodded, now leaning in the doorway.

"Nothing happened with Jaime." He finally said, sitting up to face me. I nodded.

"I know." I said softly. "T-thanks."

"Sure."

"You didn't.. want anything to happen right?" I asked. He hesitated for a moment, biting down on his lip, eventually shaking his head.

"No. I know how you feel about her."

"Right.."

"She really likes you, Josh." He muttered. "So.. don't fuck it up." I couldn't help but smile.

"Got it. Thanks." I said, moving out of the door frame. But something still didn't feel right.

"You sure you're okay?" I asked. He nodded, forcing another smile.

"Promise."

I still wasn't convinced but I knew better than to pry. He would talk when he was ready. I went back over to my room, softly knocking on the door.

"It's okay." I heard her laugh. "I'm done."

I peeked my head in, my stomach dropping as my eyes instantly shot down to the piece of paper in her hands. What was she reading? I quickly crawled across the bed, cuddling under the covers next to her.

"What did you find?" I asked as calmly as I could manage, unsure of what I had left out overnight.

"Is this gonna be a song?" I grabbed it, reading it over.

"Maybe." I said softly. "This one.. I've been working on this for a bit. I don't know where it fits yet, but.. it feels special." She turned to face me, positioning herself under my arm. She was so warm, fitting perfectly up against me.

"What inspires you?" She asked. "When you're writing, what.. how do you think of these things?" She peeked up at me, giving me a gentle smile. I bit down on my lip, feeling my cheeks burn.

"All kinds of things." I muttered, not wanting to confess how almost everything I had ever written.. was inspired by her.

"Have you ever.." She started, holding her stare on me. "Have you ever written anything.. about me?"

My body went cold.

She was handing me perfect opportunities.

All I had to do now was just.. take them.

"Maybe." I finally said, avoiding her eyes.

"Have I.. ever read anything about me?" She asked. I nodded.

"Have I ever.. heard anything about me?" My heart was pounding now. I peeked back over at her, giving her a subtle nod.

"Can you.. tell me which ones?"

There was no way I could ever perform those songs for her if she knew they were about her. Especially if anything ever went wrong. I had to keep.. something to myself. At least for the time being.

I shook my head, looking back down at our hands.

"Okay." She sighed. And then I don't know what came over me. I just couldn't take another second of us only being like this. Just a few seconds of bravery..

I then slowly slid my fingers up her arm, making their way up her neck and tangling them in her hair. She instantly moved in closer as I wrapped my other arm around her, holding her from the small of her back, pulling her up against me. She stared back up at me with those eyes, those beautiful eyes that I had spent so many days and nights getting lost in.

This was not how someone looked at their friend.

And then she finally began leaning in, but this wasn't it. This wasn't how I imagined it. And when you've spent so many years imagining something like this..

"Jaime.." I whispered. She moved away, sitting back up to face me. I pushed myself up, leaning back against my pillows as I reached back out for her.

"How about this.." She finally said. "I will.. let you take me out.. on a real date.. if I can kiss you.. now. Because.. you saying all of this to me, and us.. finally being like this. This is how I always imagined it."

I bit down on my lip, trying my best to contain my smile. She had always imagined it being us too.

"Jaime, if I kiss you.. I don't know if I'll ever be able to stop." I whispered, leaning in closer, our faces now inches apart. I knew that once I kissed her, she would be the only one I would ever want to kiss again for the rest of my life.

"Well, I don't think I'd be able to stop you." She said, smirking back at me.

I thought my heart was going to burst.

I waited for a moment, thinking back on all the nights I had hoped and prayed to be in this position, and now.. I was finally here. With her. Everything I've ever wanted. She held her stare on me, I could tell, waiting for me to finally make the jump.

Then I kissed her.

And I felt fireworks, bursting, combusting, igniting throughout every inch of my body, wanting nothing more than spend every second of every day memorizing every curve of her lips, how they moved and how much they wanted to kiss me back. I slowly moved my hands into her hair, pulling her in, kissing her back harder as she slowly crawled into my lap, wrapping her arms around my neck.

I sighed, finally backing away to catch my breath.

"Jaime.." I exhaled, wrapping my arm around her waist, pulling her up against me. "All I've ever wanted was for you to see me like this." She then pulled me into another series of kisses, each longer and more passionate than the next.

"Josh, I have.. always seen you like this." She whispered. "You just.. never seemed to feel the same way about me." I shook my head, kissing her again.

"I'm so sorry I made us wait so long.." I laughed. "So many wasted nights that could have ended like this."

"I don't think we've had any wasted nights." She said, running her fingers through my hair. "I think that.. all of them got us to where we are now."

"I have loved every night that I've spent with you, Jaime." I sighed, pulling her back into another passionate kiss.

She was right. I treasured every moment we shared together, every lingering glance and nervous hand almost held lead us to this exact moment, and I wouldn't have had it any other way.

She then reached up, tightly tangling her fingers into my hair again, kissing me back harder. If I hadn't known any better, I would have never known that she had never done this before. Her lips coating mine like she had done this a thousand times, and the last thing I wanted to do was make a fool out of myself in front of her.

I let out a deep sigh as I frantically reached over, feeling around for my lamp, finally finding the switch and turning it off. I had no idea how far she wanted things to go, especially considering how new this was for the both of us. But.. just in case..

I then moved my hands up her body, caressing her in every which way as they slowly slid up the back of her shirt.

"Josh.." She breathed, now staring back up at me. I quickly pulled away, moving my hands off of her.

"I.. I'm sorry.. I didn't mean-"

"No, I just.. I don't want.. I mean, I do, I just don't-" I shook my head, pulling her into another gentle kiss before rolling over next to her, letting out a sigh of relief.

I was nowhere near ready for that yet.

"It's okay, me either." I said, gently brushing the hair out of her face. "I.. I still haven't registered this." I giggled to myself, running my fingers down her cheek. She cuddled closer to me, nuzzling her face into my neck. I wrapped my arm around her, pulling her in closer.

"So.." I whispered, gently tracing my finger up and down her spine. Even just laying here with her in my arms was enough. "How was your first kiss?" She peeked back up at me, trying to contain her smile.

"How was yours?" She asked. I laughed, shaking my head.

"I asked you first." She bit down on her lip, holding her stare on me.

"It was perfect." She whispered, reaching over for my hand and intertwining our fingers. I nodded, leaning in, gently kissing her cheek.

"Yeah.. it was."

"I'm sorry if I talked you out of your-"

"Jaime, to be honest.. I don't care where.. or when.. as long as it was with you. I've always wanted it to be with you."

"Me too."

And then it was as if time stood still.

Time spent with Jaime didn't exist; hours flying by like minutes as we just lied together, reminiscing on moments that could have been if either of us had just been braver than the other. How many days and nights we wasted being less than what we could have, when all we wanted was each other. I couldn't take my hands off of her, my fingers innocently gliding up and down her leg, wanting nothing more than the comfort of her touch.

"So.. um.." I finally forced, now moving my fingers up into her hair. "What did you and Jake talk about?" She smirked up at me, cuddling closer as she hid her face in my neck again. Before answering, she took a deep breath, pulling me closer to her.

"How much we didn't want to kiss each other." She laughed. I nodded, trying to contain my smile as I pressed my lips against her forehead.

"Alright, I feel a little better." She peeked back up at me, giving me a questioning look.

"Were you ever worried about that?" I shrugged, avoiding her eyes, not wanting to ruin this moment over something as stupid as my jealousy. That was something we could talk about one day, but I'd much rather leave Jake out of this as much as possible.

"You two are close, I was never really sure-"

"It's always been you." She assured me, before curling back up, clutching onto my shirt and drifting off to sleep.

As I opened my eyes, I saw that I was face to face with Jaime who stared back at me with tired eyes and a gentle smile. I stretched my arms out before wrapping them around her, pulling her back up against me. I couldn't help but smile as she held onto me tightly, now hiding her face in my chest as I gently ran my fingers up and down her back.

"Good morning." I said softly, leaning my head against hers.

"Good morning." She sighed, peeking back up at me. "How did you sleep?" My smile grew, my cheeks burning red. What I would give to wake up to this every morning.

"Good." I said simply, wanting nothing more than to kiss her again, but still unsure of how much she remembered from last night. I bit down on my lip, waiting for a sign, anything to tell me that we could just pick right back up from where we left off last night, but she stayed quiet, holding her stare on me.

I sat up, stretching my arms above my head as she pushed herself up to face me.

"You hungry?" I asked, motioning towards the door. "It smells like someone's already started breakfast." I wanted to be the one to make breakfast for her but.. it was going to be hard enough sneaking around with her here. It was best to just face it and deal with the repercussions later.

"Mhm.." She finally sighed, looking away from me. My stomach dropped, sensing something was off. I wondered if she remembered anything, and now being here was just.. uncomfortable for her.

"You okay?" I asked, reaching out for her, but stopped myself, scared that anything would be too much.

"Y-yeah, I'm.. I'm fine. Just.. still tired, I guess." She said softly. "Guess I had too much to drink last night." I nodded, forcing a laugh to lighten the mood.

"Yeah.." I whispered, holding my stare on her. My eyes moved down to her lips, just wanting to taste them again. There was no way I could go back to the way things were, not after the night we had. Maybe if I could just.. remind her..

"If.. if you're still tired, we.. we don't have to, we can stay here, and.. well, continue-"

"No, I.. I should eat something." She said, moving away from me, pushing herself out of the bed. My face dropped, wondering if I had just ruined everything. She made her way around to the door, looking back at me.

"Coming?"

I didn't want to leave until I knew for sure, but.. what if she did remember and she just didn't want to talk about it? What if she regretted it? I couldn't bare for her to tell me that last night was a mistake. It was better to just not talk about it at all.

"Yeah."