Nothing exciting ever happened here in Frankenmuth. Life was simple, just how I liked it. It always had been, and I didn't see that changing any time soon.

The morning began just like any other; the sun creeping up over the horizon, turning the dark, icy blue skies a warm and welcoming orange. The smell of citrus and sage gradually filled the air as I lit the candles in my reading nook, the familiar crackling and hum of my old record player spinning, spinning, spinning..

Can I believe you?

Can I believe you?

Can I ever know your mind?

Am I handing you mine?

Do we both confide?

A creature of habit, a lover of routine.

These were the very few moments of the day that were mine, and only mine. I always cherished mornings; new beginnings to the same story, knowing I had an hour at most until the day would begin and I'd be grudgingly yanked from my improbable imagination.

I see it, eat through every word I sow

See what you need to, do you doubt it's yours?

Now I'm learning the ropes never get this close

I've been wounded before

Hasn't let me go

I looked out my window to see Josh and Jake already making their way down the wooded path, eventually disappearing into the woods. As the weather started to get warmer, they had begun taking their morning hikes again before eventually waking up the entire street with their boisterous band practices.

But we all loved it. It brought life back into the neighborhood that we all secretly craved. Deep down, everyone knew that they didn't belong here; they were meant for much bigger and better, but I was thankful for every day they hadn't realized it yet.

It never got less strange

Showing anyone just a bare face

If I don't, well, nothing will change

Staying under my weather all day

It feels like lifetimes ago when I would join them on their morning hikes, happy just to be a fly on the wall of their lives, enchanted by their dreams, grander than our small town ever allowed. Mornings with them far surpassed the strongest cup of coffee; a breath of fresh air that finally filled your lungs.

Can I believe you when you say I'm good?

I didn't need to when I wished you would

No, it isn't enough

Never held that much

Now another way up

Been a row too rough

But my life hasn't been my own since my mom got sick. It became harder and harder for me to even leave the house anymore, never knowing when she would need me next. Ever since that day, my walls felt more and more confiding; I was lucky if their words would echo through my window as they began their mornings with such adventure and possibility.

How I missed the feeling of thinking anything was possible.

It never got less strange

Showing anyone just a bare face

But if I don't, well, nothing will change

Staying under my weather all day

I knew it was only a matter of time before I would be summoned to the bedroom down the hall, and my day would officially begin. It just goes to show that you never know when your life is going to change; nothing could ever prepare you for becoming a mother to your mom.

Lately I'm wondering too

What type of desire I can break

When I'm one way with them, one with you

What half is it of me rearranged?

Our neighborhood was tight-knit; Secret Santa gift exchanges on front porch steps and annual block parties that filled the street with music and laughter, so it was no surprise that everyone noticed the first time the ambulance pulled up to the front of the house, sirens blaring.

I would never forget that night.

It was as if time stood still; a piercing ring in my ears as the muffled voices of paramedics lifted my mom out of her bed, hastily placing her on a stretcher and carrying her out the front door. Just like the rest of the neighborhood, I couldn't look away as they raised her into the ambulance, shutting the doors behind them. It was agonizing to watch, but something told me this was going to be the last time I would ever see her.

Thankfully, I was wrong.

But I knew that one day.. I wouldn't be.

Josh stayed with me in the waiting room all night, long after he insisted the rest of his family go home. Hours felt like minutes with him as he kept me distracted with stories and jokes, mocking how often the security guard peeked over at us. Or according to him, me. I would always argue when he insisted that everyone we encountered wanted me, because I never saw what he saw.

I didn't see anyone when I was with him.

The sun had long risen when my mom was finally released and Josh drove the both of us back home. He stayed parked in front of my house until we both made it inside, always sure to never pull away until I shut off the front porch light, giving a small honk before rolling down to the house next door. I would then quickly make my way up the stairs, waiting by my bedroom window that had a direct view into his. As soon as his light flicked on, he would make his way over, peeking out, giving me a gentle wave.

"Goodnight, Jaime." He'd mouth.

"Goodnight, Josh."

Can I believe you?

Can I believe you?

I want to need you

And that was all I had.

Little moments with my best friend that were anything but little to me, and I cherished each and every one of them.

I would be lying if I said I didn't occasionally get lost in his kind, lingering eyes, even just for a moment, wondering what it would feel like for them to look at me as more than a friend, but I knew they never would. He was always so busy noticing everyone who was looking at me that he never once realized that I was only ever looking at him.

But it wasn't just me. Josh had never been with anyone.

He had never wanted to.

While girlfriends came and went between his brothers, Josh would always find his way into my backyard, and we'd laugh amongst each other about how 'happy' miserable couples pretended to be. And because of that, I had never really been with anyone either. I never saw anyone the way I saw him.

No one could ever compare.

He always said how he never felt like he was "missing his better half," that he had everything he needed right here, so why fix what wasn't broken? And I agreed, but it was only human to want more, right?

I guess that was just something he kept to himself.

I want to need you

Can I believe you?

Can I believe you?

I perked up as I heard the familiar bellowing laughter making their way back down the wooded path. As I leaned over the window ledge, I saw Josh already waiting just below, waving up at me enthusiastically. I couldn't help but smile, waving back.

"You gonna come listen to us play today?" He asked. I nodded.

"I think I can sneak out for a little while." I laughed. His smile grew as he tossed something up to me. I quickly reached out my hands to catch it, grasping tightly.

"What's this?" I giggled, now examining it; a light pink rock, smooth and opaque, glowing as I held it up to the light. He shrugged, flashing me a toothy grin.

"Found it by the water and thought of you. See you later!" He called out, following Jake back into their house.

I bit down on my lip, holding in my smile as I brought it over, placing it down amongst the many others that Josh had tossed me from their morning walks, all ranging in their shape and color.

I treasured anything that made him think of me.

"Jaime!" I heard from down the hall, instantly being pulled right back into reality. And so it began. I took a minute, wondering how hard it would be for me to pretend to still be asleep, just so I could hold onto what was left of my morning for that much longer. My eyes lingered on the door where they had both disappeared into, wondering how it was possible to live just twenty feet away, and yet somehow still be worlds apart.

I was always thankful for the moments he invited me in, allowing me to submerge myself within his most aspirational daydreams, but eventually they all became reminders of how some people were just dealt a better hand, and how tormentingly beautiful it was to watch someone effortlessly float their way through the game of life with no regard for the rules; a straight flush in every hand, bold red like the heart he wore on his sleeve, while the rest of us were always left to fold.

And even still, I would keep coming back for more, gambling away all I had for just another chance to see him win, because if I had learned anything, it was to never bet against him.