Van:

"Alright then lemme go for a fag break and I'll get back to ya. See ya in a bit." I broke apart from the huddle of people I'd known since I was younger, digging in my pockets for my carton of cigarettes.

I stepped outside of the bar, the giant no smoking sign making me scoff. What kind of pub was this then?

"Hey, need a light?" I looked towards the source of the question. A tiny girl with her arms crossed, hair coming over her face.

"Ah, um, no thanks. I've got my lighter here somewhere."

"Come off, I don't see it in your hands."

"Right here." I waved the silver lighter in my hand.

"Oh alright then." She bit down on her cigarette, cupping a hand around the flame as she lit it. We stood there awkwardly, blowing puffs of smoke out into the night. "What's your name?"

I took a bit to answer, partly cause I hadn't expected that question. "Ryan. Van I mean."

"Which one is it then?"

"Van."

"I'm Abby. Ace place huh?"

"Well they're making me come out to smoke instead of staying inside with my mates, so I'm not glad about that."

"I'll let my father know you're angry about the rules of his pub."

"Oh geez, I mean, sorry about that, but"-

"Relax. It's a joke." She laughed.

"So you dunno the owners?"

"No way."

"Ok good." She stepped closer to me, putting one hand inside her jacket pocket.

Something fell from her pocket and tinkled onto the ground."Bloody hell." I instinctively reached down and picked up the lighter, handing it back to her. "Thanks."

"No problem. I should get back inside."

"Got a nice date then?"

"Just hanging with some mates." I went towards the door.

"Save me a drink back there then?"

"Sorry?"

"I tend to not hold back when I fancy someone. Pardon me." She walked towards the door and held it open for me.

"Oh uh, I"-

"Van boy, come on then!" Bondy called out from the other side of the pub.

"How about that drink then?" The girl was still standing too close to me, a hint of smoke and perfume coming off of her.

"I have someone...sorry." I backed away and turned my back to her, weaving all the way to the back where the boys were.

"Who was that?" Our friend Rich leaned against the table, holding a glass in one hand.

"Some girl who wanted to buy me a drink."

"Ol' Van getting all the ladies. She's a looker."

"Yeah, well I have a girl."

"I'll never understand why you'd want an American. They're all...bland."

"No offense Rich, but Van's about to throw a punch at you." I shook Rich off with an eye roll. "Yeah well maybe if you weren't such an arse you'd know what it feels like to have a girl Rich."

He put his hands up defensively and drank from his glass. "If you don't want to take the opportunity I will lad." He broke apart and headed straight for Abby.

"Why did I ever hang out with Rich again?" I looked at Bondy.

"He always had good comics or something like that."

"The novelty has worn out then." I checked my cell, looking into the bar. I was itching to talk to Carmen, we hadn't had a decent conversation in about three days. I drank and checked my cell, deciding to duck out and give her a ring.

"Van, come tell Beth about the time you got us kicked out of that pub in Yorkshire. She said you've never told her the full story. And she was wondering how you ended up without pants."

"Oh come off. You know I hate telling that damn story." I put my cell back in my pocket, moving to talk to my friends.

;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

I was dancing to some Irish jig that had no place being played at this pub. "Ay! Ay! Ay!"

"Are you drunk Van?"

"A little bit Alexander mate! Come on then, dance with me!"

"Someone come get him."

"Ay Beth, don't be like that!" I looked around the pub, now almost empty. Why was no one dancing?

"Come on then, time to clear out."

"I'll clear out when I want to." I shimmied away from Bondy, grabbing another drink. "Here's to music! Here's to freedom!"

"Oh bloody hell. Time to get his bum out." Alexander circled around me, holding his hands up like I was a child about to fall over.

"I'll dance with ya then." Two cold thin hands wound around mine. It was that girl from earlier. "Abby?"

"Ya remember me then." She grinned. "Don't think you should be dancing on your own."

I faltered, letting my hands slip. But she grabbed onto them tightly, her hair tickling my face as she leaned forward.

"Take me home then."

I broke away from her. "Abby I have a girl already."

"Where is she then? Or are you just teasing?" She smiled knowingly, her jacket slipping from her shoulders.

"Hi there, just breaking through to take my mate. Sorry if he's bugging you." Bondy grabbed my shoulders, pulling me away thank god.

"No worries, he's right cute like that."Abby slipped her hands into my pockets, pulling back triumphantly with my phone. "Give me a ring when you feel like it."

I was tongue tied for all the while she typed away on my phone. My head was throbbing a bit and my legs felt light. '

"Night." I mumbled, not touching my phone from when she'd slipped it back into my pocket.

"So what are you trying to have fun while you're away from Carmen?"

"Bondy it's not like that, it's just"-

"You don't have to explain yourself to me. But if you want to act like a free man then you gotta become one first."

"I don't want to break up with Carmen. Why would I?"

"I don't know. Why would you lead a girl on like that then?"

"Pff, what are you talking about? I ain't leading nobody on."

"Sure sure."

"Johnny."

"Van."

"Let's just go back to the flat, my stomach hurts."

;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

The name stood out on my contacts sorely. Abby Wringer.

"Oh boy." My finger hovered over the contact to delete it, until I got a call.

"Hi babe."

"What's up?" She whispered. Her voice brought slight chills to my neck, I missed her that much.

"I'm drinking tea, sitting on our flat's balcony."

"That sounds nice."

"Come on over then."

"You know I can't do that."

"I'll buy you a ticket."

"Sure Van." There was a rustle of sheets on her end.

"Are you in bed?"

"Yes, it is like three am here."

I balance my cup on my knee, moving my shoulders back. "What are you wearing then?"

"Stop!" She says, laughing.

"Come on I miss you. Isn't that what couples do, talk filthy while they're apart?"

"So you want me to call you up just for filthy thoughts then?" She sounded rather gleeful on the other end.

"I'll take them all."

"Well, I"-

"Van." Benji pokes his head out, looking rather unnerved.

"Hold that thought Carmen." I cover the mouthpiece. "What's up?"

"There's some girl at the door for ya. Says she's a friend from last night?"

"What? How?" I stand up, bringing the phone to my ear again. "Hey babe, sorry about that. Benji came interrupting me and says there's some stuff with the label I have to get to."

"You're missing out Van McCann."

"I know I know. Save some of that filth for later. Love ya."

She sighed deeply. "Love you too."

"Hi there!" She was leaning against the doorway, propping herself up with her arm.

"Abby? How did you find where I live?"

"It was surprisingly easy to ask around town for a guy named Van." She paused for a second. "And I saw you and your friend get into a taxi last night."

"So you followed us then?"

"Fancying someone makes you do crazy things."

"That's very strange. I think I could report you for that." I was only half joking. "How did you even track us down?"

"I'd like to say I could run, but I have a car. And asking around for a lad named Van that lived in this building wasn't that hard. Did you know half of your neighbors are sixty and older?"

"Interesting. So anything else?"

"Is that any way to treat the girl who danced with you when no one else did?"

Oh god. I rubbed my face. "Listen Abby, you seem like a nice girl, but I think you want more than I can give you. I've got a girl already and I really am not interested in anyone else."

"Listen Van, I remember you telling me that yesterday. I get it. You seem like a cool lad though, and I just moved here from Wales so I need to find people my age to be friends with." It seemed like a mouthful; she sighed and looked past me into our flat.

"Wales huh? I'm from Llandudno." I admitted grudgingly.

Her face lit up. "No way, me too."

"Wringer huh? You wouldn't happen to know Charles and Lydia Wringer?"

"They're my aunt and uncle on my mum's side. They own a little bed and breakfast there called"-

"Wringer's Wing." I finished with her.

"You know it then?"

"My mum and dad own the inn on the other side of the street."

"No way. That's a riot."

"Yeah." I said weakly.

"Do your parents talk to my uncle and aunt a lot?"

"I couldn't tell you. They weren't there when I was growing up. And then I moved away and when I came to visit Wringer's Wing was there."

"Guess it was destiny we meet up then?"

"I don't know. Listen, I've got some things to do around here with my mates. But uh, it was nice talking to you then." I awkwardly got behind the door.

"Just gonna leave me here after I drove all the way here then? I wish I knew your parents so I could tell them how you treat a lady." She said teasingly.

"Abby, I don't mean to be rude but"-

"Take me out for tea then. Just tea, we're not gonna shag or anything. Besides, my taxi ran off and I have to wait for another one then."

"Abby"-

"Come on then please?"

"And then you'll go home?" I knew my words sounded harsh, but I couldn't help it.

"I mean, I need to call a taxi from the place."

"Fine fine. There's a tea shop right across the corner. We'll go there and then you can call a taxi to come get you." I walked out briskly and shut the door quickly. I didn't bother to tell any of the lads where I was going.

It wouldn't be long after all.

;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

"So what are you doing in London then? Did you move here from Llandudno?"

I pushed my cup around, looking to the street. "I'm here with my mates to get our band going. "

"A band huh? Maybe I could come and see you play sometime?"

I was quiet, taking a drink from my cup and looking around. "What got you here?"

"I got tired of living back home. My parents weren't the kindest and school was a bore. So I graduated and came here ready to work."

"Were you born in Wales? Cause you sound live you've lived here all your life."

"The lingo right? Picked it up from my mum. She's right from here."

"Oh ok."

"So tell me more about this band. Are you guys putting a cd out soon?"

"Soon." I murmured, setting my cup down.

"That's bomb. Your girl must be excited right?"

"She is."

"I didn't see her at your flat. Is she at work?"

"She doesn't live here."

"Oh did you meet her back in Wales?"

"No, she's from the states. America."

Abby smiled tightly. "No way, that's massive. Wow, how did you both even meet?"

"She went to one of our gigs." I smiled at the memory. "I offered to take her home after. And the rest just fell into place."

"That's sweet. What's her name?"

"Carmen."

"Oh so she's not from the states either is she? Is she from Mexico or somethin?"

I traced my cup. "No she was born there. Her mum comes from Mexico though."

"So you two have been together a while huh?"

"A bit. What about you?"

"If I said I fancied you earlier, that means I wasn't into anyone else." She rolled her eyes at me like I was dumb.

"Well I don't know you so you could have a guy or something."

"Nope, not anymore." She sighed. "You know why I think I like you? No offense, but you remind me of my ex."

"Oh, um"-

"I mean obviously it's very weird to bring it up. But maybe that would offer an explanation on why I'm attracted to you."

"Ok, well this has been interesting."

She laughed, propping her feet up and bringing her knees against her. "I'm sorry, you just remind me of him. I won't bring it up anymore I swear."

"My friend wants me to go home now." I stood up.

"You don't have to lie to get away from me then. I get it." She stood up, still smiling. "Nice meeting you Van."

"Later. Don't forget to call your taxi then." I walked away from the table, leaving enough to cover the bill.

;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

It was two hours later and the weirdness had worn off.

I'd never see Abby again probably unless she decided to come find me again. But it would only be so long before she tired of it and got the hint that I was not interested.

The lads forced me to go pick dinner up across the building. It was this little place near the tea shop where I'd seen Abby a while ago.

"Sorry." I bumped into someone while checking my phone. A very familiar looking someone with long hair and a leather jacket. "Abby?"

"Van." She smiled thinly.

"What are you doing here? Figured you'd be going back to your place."

"I um... lost my wallet. I need taxi fare."

"Oh, well I got some." I stuck my hand in my pocket, grabbing some of the bills going towards dinner.

"No way, I'd feel weird taking your money."

"Ok, well how are you going to get home then?"

"I'll dance for money or something."

"Ok, well good luck with that then." I moved to start walking.

"Are you really just going to let me do that?"

"Well I asked and you said no." I began walking towards the market, trying to decide what I wanted.

"Fine then, I'll take it. But you have to let me pay you back then."

"Um no, that's not necessary." Another reason for her to become indebted with me and show up to my place again? No thanks.

"Yes." She took the pounds from my hand. "I will pay you back and that's a promise." She suddenly reached forward and wrapped me in a hug, pressing her lips against my cheek.

"No need. Goodnight." I broke apart and quickly walked forward, pretending I'd imagined that whole interaction.

;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

Carmen:

I hung up the phone, still reeling from my conversation with Van. There was never a full on conversation anymore. It was half tries punctuated with a lot of goodbyes and promises to talk later that lasted just as long or shorter.

I fought back a yawn, sliding down onto my pillow and staring up at the ceiling.

I missed Van so much, it almost seemed like the last time he'd slept in this bed with me had been months ago.

But he has to do it. It's everything he's ever wanted.

I had to remind myself that because if not I'd just think about what I wanted.

And all I really wanted was him.

;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

If you get the chance to go to the store, buy some eggs please. And soy milk! I slid the money tucked into the note in my pocket, wandering over to head out.

The air was humid and sticky, the sun brighter than ever, even though it was five pm. But that made it feel like summer, and that made me excited for all the prospects summer would bring.

I still had finals, and those were a pain in the butt to think about. But once they were over with, time would stretch out ahead of me to do what I wanted.

Getting an internship nagged the back of my mind though. I would be lying if I said I'd looked many up.

Maybe I would just check out that thredz place Katie had told me about.

I parked at the store and grabbed a basket, walking to the egg section. My phone vibrated in my pocket.

Katherine: SOS

What's wrong?

Ended up sort of maybe agreeing to a date.

What??????

I don't know what I was thinking. But Benji and I had an argument last time we talked and I guess I wanted revenge

Ok, well get out of it.

I can't

Why not?

Cause I'm on it right now

WHAT

Ok I need you to come get me pls??

I should let you suffer in peace

What if he wants to sleep with me or something?

Do you even know the guy?

...yeah

Ok, where are you?

I'm at that one pizza place near Wilshire.

You owe me.

:)

I was pissed. I paid for the stuff and practically threw it into the backseat.

I was tired of having to watch over Katherine like she was a child, and having to rescue her from situations she had gotten herself into.

;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

She slid into the front seat breathing shallow, gripping her bag to her chest.

"Carmen I"-

"Don't."

"But I"-

"Where do you want me to drop you off?"

"I thought maybe I could go over to your place for a bit."

"No."

She smiled but then stopped when she saw I was serious.

"Carmen, come on"-

"Katherine, I am sick and tired of having to deal with all your problems for you. All you ever do is call me when you need something or you want to go out or it has to do with you. I'm done being your mother and always having to come to your rescue."

"Ok, but when have you ever had to come"-

"What am I doing right now?!" I slammed the brakes. I rubbed my eyes, looking ahead. "Honestly Katherine? You're a terrible friend."

"Are you kidding me?! Do you know how much it sucks to have to tone stuff down for you? You say I act like a child, but you also have the mind of a child Carmen! You'd think you were twelve sometimes with what you say and how you act! I'm honestly so so surprised Van hasn't gotten tired of you yet."

"Why have you always referred to my relationship with Van like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like you're jealous or something!"

"Jealous?" She laughed dryly. "If anything I am confused. On how Van could have picked a girl like you. You're both so different, the complete opposites practically!"

"That's none of your business. I don't even know why I'm driving you around. I should dump you off on the curb." I came to a stop at a sign.

"I'll save you the trouble. Here." Katherine swiftly took off her seatbelt and threw the door open, sliding out. "Now you can go driving all the way back to your place and go cry over Van or something!"

"Screw you!"

"Fuck you!"

I stepped on the gas, the wheels peeling as I gunned it forward. Katherine became a speck in my vision. My hands were gripping the steering wheel and I felt something in my head clench.

;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

I forgot the groceries in my car until the next morning. The smell of rotten eggs was so strong I had to roll all the windows then when I drove. Even that didn't keep me from gagging a little though.

I went to class and then drove home for a break before my shift. No word from Van at all.

I knew he was busy, but that didn't keep me from checking my phone every few minutes.

My mom called so I talked to her for a bit. I followed along as she made plans for dinner at my parents' house the coming weekend.