"Alright!" Josh shouted into the mic. "Paris! How're we doing?" The crowd screamed at him. I watched girls in the pit, jumping and putting their hands out for him. "If I might say so, this is the best rock n' roll concert on the earth this even!" It was so loud, and he held the audience well. Sammy gave big smiles, not directly at one person, more like laughing to himself. Jake looked over at him, nodding so they were ready to start the song. Danny's arms slammed down, Highway Tune radiating through the room. I could feel the rhythm in my chest it was so loud. Jules dances next to me, her body trying to believe it was real. She smiled at me widely. I bopped my head to the music, putting my hands to my side, letting my body go free.

When the song ended, Josh sent kisses to a girl in the front row who had got his attention. Her body fell from under her, her friends pulling her up. She played it off like nothing had happened and I laughed. "This song, is one that I don't think I need to introduce anymore. It was written for a girl that's as majestic and weird as she is sweet. This is Flower Power." Sammy had moved to the organ and Jake held his acoustic. Josh began to sing and my heart somehow got stuck in my throat. "She's a lady comes from all around. There's many places, but she's homeward bound." It was beautiful, I couldn't believe how it made me feel. My soul lifted from my body and I looked down at my body. I was dancing, like I never had before. My eyes situated on each of them for a few seconds. "It turns to night, fire light. Star shines in her eye. Makes me feel like I'm alive." Josh pointed to me. "She's out of sight." Then he turned back to the crowd. My eyes landed on Jake, he bopped his head as he played, barely looking up or at anyone. I cheered loudly he started his guitar solo. He looked up right at me and though I didn't want to, I grinned at him like a fool.

"You've gotta be fucking kidding me." Julie said, seriously. She had stopped dancing.

"What?! Are you okay??" I said, but she just looked at me and then them.

"This song's about you isn't it?" I gave her a weird look and shook my head.

"No way." I yelled over the music.

"Yes it is, Maggie." She stopped, thinking for a second. "How long have you known them?"

"Young, since we were babies."

"This is about you. It's all about you, isn't it?" She yelled as Sammy's much quieter organ solo happened, causing people including Danny to look over at us from behind his drums. "The whole thing, the whole fucking thing." No it wasn't, I knew it wasn't, but I let her have her moment. I turned to look back at Danny. He gave me a nervous smile. My eyes popped open as he nodded to me. I gulped down, making a noise with it. Eyes traveling to Jake. He stood with his body facing the drums, I looked at him because I knew he wouldn't be looking at me. Covered in darkness as the spotlight shed light on Sammy.

I was mad. I had no real reason to be, but I was. In that moment, I knew it was about me. I wanted to yell, I wanted to scream, most of all I wanted to cry, but I had cried too much in there presence and I wasn't going to be some cry baby. I felt like I was going to throw up as they finished up their encore. I walked back to the room and sat on the couch, my head between my knees. The door opened and Michael's voice illuminated the room. "That was epic, the best one yet. You boys should be proud." I looked up as they crowded in. "And you, you have to be some sort of good luck charm." He pointed to me. I had a blank expression. My face turned red, my neck sweating. "Go shower and then we'll do something." He said. Michael and three of them walked out, but Sammy stayed, situating himself next to me.

"You alright? I saw your friend standing out there by herself." My hands were wet and shaking uncontrollably.

"I'm gonna ask you something, I want you to be honest with me." He nodded his head. "A-are those songs.. Who are they about?" His eyes were confused, not understanding what I was getting at.

"Josh writes most of the lyrics, Jake does sometimes." He stumbled over his words, hiding something. "I don't know, they're not about anyone in particular." I stared at him with a blank expression.

"It's not a joke, Sammy. I need to know." He nodded, understanding.

"I think you should ask the other two." As he said that, Julie walked in. She sat across from us and flashed her pearly whites. "Their gonna be back any minute, you might not want to talk about this here." I got up from my seat and walked to the door, taking a deep breath.

I wandered the dark halls. I could feel the tears that had fallen, but ignored them, letting the warm residue stick to my cheeks. I heard two voices, one more excited than the other in a room far down from me. The door opened and they walked out, turning and seeing me. They both smiled, Josh's more triumphant, Jake's just one of happiness. "Maggie! What'd you think?" Josh asked, elated. They picked up the pace to get to me, realizing I wasn't happy.

"We need to talk." I said, giving Josh a hard glare, then Jake.

"Alright let's go to the room." Josh suggested, but I wasn't having it.

"No, we need to talk now. Right now."

"Are you alright?" Jake asked, sincerely.

"Who are they about?" I asked, but they didn't seem to get what I was saying. "Who are those songs about?" I spat. "They sure as hell aren't about your mom." There expressions changed, guilt flooded their faces. "Tell me. I just need you to tell me." I started quietly, more tears falling, but by the end I was yelling.

"They-They're.." Josh started, but couldn't finished.

"They're about you, Mags." Jake took his place in speaking. I scoffed, my tongue settling behind my top teeth. I turned to the side, visibly crying.

"I didn't think it would be a big deal. I thought you'd appreciate them." Josh's voice soft spoken.

"You didn't think I'd mind??" I said, rage coursing through me. "You had no right. You didn't even ask me."

"How were we supposed to ask you? You haven't answered any of our calls, our texts, I even tried to email you." Jake said, annoyed.

"Write them about your girlfriend, how about that? You couldn't find anyone else." I cried out. "Why me? Why tell everyone about me, about.." I couldn't breathe. "I'm not a subject."

"I'm sorry." Josh said quietly. I didn't really know why I was so mad, but I felt violated. "I thought that it would show you how much you mean to us."

"I'm not mad at you. I just thought you would have put a stop to it." I gave Josh a look to say sorry. "I was putting my anger on the wrong person. Would you just give up a minute?" I asked, not looking into Jake's eyes. Josh nodded and walked away.

"Mags, I thought you would like them. You're beautiful and have so much to you, I thought it would make you realize that."

"You don't get to say that stuff to me." I said, pushing my index finger to his chest. "You ruined me.. You. ruined. me. Don't you get that?" Our eyes were locked as I stood closer to him, trying to get the point across. "What'd you tell Hannah huh? You tell her they were about her? Did that make her happy, letting her know she was some sort of goddess?" I said, trying to egg him on and it worked.

"Maggie, be quiet!" He yelled.

"What Jake, what're you gonna do? Are you gonna hit me? Huh do you want to hit me? Go ahead, do it! Hit me!" His eyes were shocked. I pushed chest. "Come on, hit me! Hit me!" Each time I said it, my voice turned into less of a scream and more of a cry. I continued to push him. "Hit me!"

"No." He said, sternly.

"You can't hurt me anymore than you already have, so what's one punch, one slap. Hit me!" His arms raised and I thought he was really going to do it, but instead he wrapped his arms around my shaking body. "I want you to... Why won't you?" I cried into his neck. His hands went through my hair, trying to calm me down. As my cries of anger finished, my cries of help replaced them. "Why not me? Why did it have to be her?" I stammered, through tears. "Was I not good enough? Why couldn't you love me?" I whimpered on his chest. "I could have been enough, I loved you."

"You were always enough." He said, his voice though angry had a hint of begging in it. "Hey, fucking look at me." He said sternly. I brought my heavy breathing head up to look at him, his arms still around me. "You were always enough. I was stupid, I was really, really stupid." I wiped my nose, sniffling. One of his hands went to my cheek, his thumb wiping away my tears. He moved closer to me, his lips almost touching mine.

"No Jake." I whispered. "It can't just work like that, I can't just pretend like nothing happened, like Hannah doesn't exist I can't do that." I pulled my arms away from his and turned to walk away.

"We broke up!" He yelled, his voice cracking. I turned to look at him. "I couldn't do it, I couldn't do it anymore."

"You couldn't do it or she found out?" I asked, walking back to him.

"The first show, we played the songs. She knew they weren't about her. I didn't love her anymore. I hadn't for some time."

"When?"

"This past spring." I nodded my head, trying to comprehend. "It's always been you." My eyes switched from being stuck on the floor, to being glued to his.

"We can't just pretend like shit didn't happen. We hurt people." I spoke, my hand moving to my stomach unknowingly.

"I can't take the past back, I just don't think I can live without you any longer." I nodded, as he put his hand where mine rested.

— Author's Note —

Heyoo!! Hope everyone's well. I went to see the boys this weekend and it was amazing, actual swoon! I'm still buzzing :)