Like I said before, the plane ride was quick since I just slept the whole way and I wasn't woken up by any staff.

Jill text and told me the other girls are all waiting for each other and getting on the bus, I was more than welcome to wait too but she booked me a car to take me straight to the hotel also. I took the car offer not wanting to be waiting around for people I don't even know yet.

The ride back was fairly quick and I was soon at the front desk asking for my room key.

"I'm here to pick up a room key for Toni O'Neill," I say to the receptionist.

"The US soccer team?" She asks me

"Yes ma'am" I reply out of habit.

"Here's your key, you are in room 602 which is the sixth floor. Have a good stay and good luck" She says smiling at me.

"I will do ma'am" I reply sending her a wink as I take the card off her.

"Oh, by the way, the gym is open all hours to the athlete's staying here," She says as I walk towards the elevator.

"Thanks for letting me know ma'am I'll make sure to use it" I reply spinning around to look at her.

I head to my room wanting to dump my bags and get out of these clothes into something more suitable. I unlock the room and see two double beds meaning I'm probably going to have a roommate.

I chose the bed furthest from the door since there's a pretty nice window view from this floor. And place my bag on the bed.

I chuck most my clothes into draws but hang up any nice outfits in the wardrobe so they don't get creased.

Deciding to check out the gym facilities I change into some gym gear and grab a towel from my bag and my headphones before going back down to the first floor.

I follow the signs to the gym and make my way straight to the treadmill knowing it will help warm me up and loosen my muscles off a bit.

I have to admit, running is one of my favourite things to do. I know most people hate it but, I don't know, some part of me just like running for hours and forgetting everything I'm worried about, I get to feel free.

Once I've finished my jog, I head over to the weights and start doing my usual routine, of biceps, triceps and shoulders. I spot the mirror in the corner of the room and can't help myself but take a picture.

I worked hard for this body so you can be damn sure that I'm going to take pictures of it.

Not wanting to do much before this tournament even begins I decide to call it a day and head back up to my room not being sure when the rest of the team are arriving.

It turns out pretty soon because as I'm walking through the lobby I see the US team in full kit talking and chatting together.

Unfortunately for me, I have to walk right through the whole group and I'm not introducing myself yet so I'll just wait for the team meeting.

A few heads turn my direction as a grab the towel and wipe the sweat off my face. I can feel multiple eyes travelling over my body making me smirk a little at how unsubtle this team is when it comes to checking people out

"I swear I recognize her" I hear Mal say as I walk past

"Same, I just don't know where from" Rose replies

I ignore the rest of the glances and head to my room to have a shower and freshen up before the team meeting. I hop in the shower and stand in there for a second wondering if I've made the right call accepting

I may seem to be this cool and collected person but deep down I'm scared, like really scared that I'll mess this up. We have our first game of the tournament in 5 days and I'm yet to meet a single player on the team.

I haven't kicked a ball in over a year and the only thing I've got going for me is my fitness. I take a look down at my body and see the scars that litter my figure reminding me off what I went through.

Every time I made a mistake, cut. Every time I said the wrong thing, cut. One inch out of line, cut. It took me almost a year to escape that place and I've never been the same since, I don't let anyone get close to me, I don't let anyone know my secrets. It's the only way I know how to keep myself safe.

It started when I was 15, I was in another foster home and these people were heavily religious, like all sinners deserve to burn in hell kind of religious. So I decided it wasn't the best idea to let them on to the fact I was gay. Somehow they found out and that was enough for them to "send me to get help".

Their idea of help was to banish all the thoughts inside my head and how did they plan to do this, conversion therapy. One night when I was sleeping these random men just came barging into my room and took me. I was thrown into the back of a van and that was it, that was the last bit of freedom I'd have for a long time.

So I spent a year having my mid cleared of these sinful thoughts through any method you could think of. Electrocution, starvation, manual labour, beatings, rape. I went through anything and everything in that place and I thought there was no way out for me until this man came to visit.

You see the only way it stayed open and running was because of secret benefactors. They'd supply the place with any money they needed and then they'd get to watch whatever torture we were reducing that day. All of the times we got raped was from one of these men, or the paid someone else to do it while they watched us. Normally, they were big businessmen or professional athletes that thought they had power. The one person I remember the most was Jerramy Stevens, so I guess you can see why I hate Solo so much.

There was one man who was different though, he'd paid to have sex with me on his own so that was what I had expected to happen. But when the doors locked and I expected the worst to come he handed me a set of keys and an envelope full of money. I will never forget what he told me that day.

"wait until nightfall and use these keys to get out, there is 5,000 dollars in here, use it to get as far away from here as you can, my numbers also in there so if you're in serious trouble call me and use the safe word in the back, I don't care if it's in a week or in 10 years. Use it. You will be okay, you'll make it out and you'll live an amazing life, you'll be okay"

I've taken that with me since the night I escaped that place and I still use it today, whether it's because I'm having a bad day or I've got an important event coming up, all I need to do is mutter 'you'll be okay' in my head a couple of times and I feel much better.

I have never needed to use that card but I still carry it with me everywhere, maybe I'll need it in the future or I'll find someone who needs it a little more than me. Makes me feel safe in a weird way.

I eventually get out the shower and dry myself off before changing into some comfy clothes. My phone pings from my bed so I go over and see who's text me.

team meeting starting in 5,

come to the main conference

room on the ground floor

got it

Looks like I will be meeting them soon, so I just grab my phone and wallet before finding wherever this room is. After walking through many corridors I see some people wearing US gear standing outside a door.

As I get closer they turn to look at me and I see Jill pop out from the group.

"Toni O'Neill, I've missed seeing you," Jill says coming over to hug me which I don't mind since I've missed Jill too

"it's good to see you again Jill," I say with a small smile

"I didn't think I'd ever hear the come out of your mouth since the day you left" Jill replies

"You always made the best pancakes so I could never see you again now," I say giving her a cheeky wink.

"We are all about to walk in so I might as well introduce you now," Jill says and I just nod my head fine with that plan.

She pushes opens the doors and the once chatting room soon quiet down when they see who has come through.

"Ladies! Welcome, I hope everyone flight was okay and not too uncomfortable!" Jill says having moved into the centre of the room I stay by the side wanting her to have her coach speech before I walk up

"as you all know, Pinoe had a last-minute injury that unfortunately ruled her out of the world cup and the same with Tobin. And with Lloyd being pregnant we are down to a very low number of strikers. There were a few people that could've been called up as replacement but I trust this person with my life and I know she'll be fine under this pressure. So please welcome Toni O'Neill!" Jill finished saying so I push myself off the wall and walk over to her.

"you were the one who walked through the lobby today!" someone shouts who I recognise to be Ash

"yep that was me, and someone of you need to seriously get better at secretly checking people out," I say causing a few to laugh while others blush

"I won't keep you any longer but be down here for 6 sharp" Jill says and dismisses us all causing me to suddenly get swarmed with players.

"where do you play soccer?"

"how come you never accepted a call-up?"

"why does Jill trust you so much?"

"guys back off! She can't answer a question if you're all screaming at once!" someone shouts from the large group, I look up and see it was Alex Morgan, I send her a wink to say thank you.

"I'll answer as many questions on the walk up to my room," I say and watch as they all follow me like geese.

"why has no one heard of you before?" I think Ali Krieger asks me

"Krieger right?" I say and see her nod

"I don't play soccer professionally, never have really," I say and I'm met with silence back.

"do you even play soccer?" someone asks clearly as a joke because it makes some people giggle

"I guess not anymore since I gave it all up about a year ago" I say shrugging

"no offence but, why the fuck has Jill called you up!" A voice I know to be Rose Lavelle says

"She trusts me apparently" is all I respond with

"how come you've never accepted any previous call ups?" Ashlyn Harris asks me

"that's personal" I reply stepping into the elevator

"Are you Irish?" someone asks making me turn around with a confused look.

"what?" I say laughing a little at Kelley who was the one who asked

"well your surname is O'Neill so I thought maybe you had some Irish heritage" She questions while everyone just groans at her question but I find it a reasonable point

"That's a fair question O'Hara but I don't know the answer, I never knew my parents," I tell her

"so is that you're adoptive parents surname or your own?" She ask me again while some other girl slaps her on the arm

"my own name, I never got adopted" I reply, someone else is about I ask another question but the elevator stops on my floor.

"you can ask me more things at dinner but this is my stop," I say and step out with a few other girls who are clearly on my floor too.

"its looks like we're roomies," Alex says as she holds up her keycard.

"I guess I'm a lucky lady then huh," I say and open the door for her

"I'm sorry about all my teammates, they can be a bit intense sometimes," She says apologetically

"It's alright I was expecting to be questioned like that" I reply

"I do have one question though," Alex says making my head look up in interest

"go on," I say looking her in the eyes

"Are you good enough to be playing with us in 5 days time?" she asks seriously

"yes" I reply with full confidence

"that's fine then, as long as you believe in yourself and Jill does, I'm happy," She says giving me a small smile, damn she's got a cute smile.

"well I appreciate that Morgan," I say to my fellow forward

"I'm going to have a nap so do you mind waking me to when we have to head down," Alex asks as she climbs into bed

"Yeah sure thing" I reply and watch her smile before closing her eyes.

I sit there on my phone for a bit but I eventually put it down and think back to what Ash asked me earlier. I know eventually, I'm going to be questioned on my past and I'll get angry at whoever it is because there's no way I'm going back down that rabbit hole again.