I didn't feel in control of my body as Adora helped me into the dress Claude had sent me. I felt numb. Anxious. What in the world was Claude thinking? Would he really announce our engagement at a funeral? There was no way, right?

A rough squeeze from Adora pulling at the corset of the dress left me momentarily breathless. Nadir had been right— I wouldn't have been able to put this dress on alone. It basically was a second skin. While luxurious and obviously royal, it felt too inappropriate to wear to a funeral. And although it had a high collar, the neckline dipped too low to feel respectful. Especially considering how the corset managed to make my barely-there cleavage way too noticeable. "Isn't this a bit much?" I asked Adora as she finished adjusting the corset. "I think I need something a bit more modest."

"I think it's fine," she said, laying my hair down carefully. "Your roots are showing."

"Can't really do anything about that, can I?" I muttered.

"I'll bring something next time."

"I don't know if that's necessary. I only dyed my hair to go against my father, so is there really a point now?" I asked, pulling at the fading pink strands of my hair. Why had I even done that? Did I need to get back at my father that badly? Now I just looked like some stupid human with pink hair. Now there was no point in keeping dyeing it.

Adora's expression fell. "I think it suits you, though, Cleo."

"I'll ask Claude what I should do," I said, making her eyebrows rise. "Because, you know, I'm not in charge of my life anymore."

"Cleo."

I ran a hand through my hair, frustrated. "This makes no sense. Why would he dress me up to show me off at a funeral? I don't get it. It's so disrespectful! People died!"

"I didn't say he was announcing the engagement," Adora corrected gently. "I think it's more of a subtle hint toward the future. Or maybe to give you a little more protection."

"How so?"

"No one would dare raise a hand against the royal family. Or anyone associated with them."

I hesitated. Was that possible? Was this some weird way of Claude wanting to protect me? Why?

I wanted to have a conversation with him. I wanted him to answer my questions. I wanted to know... to know if he was someone I could still trust or someone I needed to get away from. Why would he force me to marry him? It didn't sound like him. I didn't want to believe he would do that to me.

But I would have never believed he'd arrest me, either.

I let Adora curl my hair and put make-up over my dark eyebags, but looking in the mirror after, I still looked like a disaster. My skin was unbelievably dry, making the coverup look flaked, and my eyebags were still a deep purple and obvious. I didn't suit the elegant dress I'd been put in. Pale and a little gaunt from lack of nutrients, I looked more like a walking corpse than any kind of future queen they wanted to dress me up as.

Future queen... The thought sent shivers down my spine.

Nadir came to fetch us not long after, and my chest felt tight with anxiety as we entered the long black car that came to pick us up. I expected Claude to be waiting in the car for us, but once again, the vampire king was missing. It didn't make sense. They expected me to marry him, yet wouldn't let us be near each other for longer than two minutes?

I sighed, looking out the window of the car. The weather was fitting for a funeral— clouds hanging low in the sky, threatening rain, a dark grey film over everything. Why couldn't these families at least have a nice day to lay their loved ones to rest?

Suddenly a shadow appeared in front of the window, and I nearly gasped, startled as the door opened, and Felix appeared. He was dressed in an all-black suit, his hair gelled and parted to the side. He didn't say anything as I moved into the middle seat to let him into the car.

"I didn't know you were coming," Adora said to him.

He grunted in response. "Someone concerned for Cleo's safety has to come."

A hurt expression crossed Adora's face, but she didn't say anything in response. I frowned at Felix. "Felix—"

"I already know, Cleo. You don't care what happens to you."

I shut my mouth, staring at him. A little bit of anger bubbled in me, but I swallowed it down. I knew Felix was worried. I knew he was frustrated with me. I knew we'd never see eye-to-eye about many things. But I also knew I wasn't going to try to argue with him about it. Once the funeral was over, he'd apologize, and I would, too. It was how it always went. I couldn't appease him for now.

Closing my eyes, I kept my hands in my lap, hoping the funeral would move quickly and go over smoothly.

The rain began as we pulled up to what I assumed to be the funeral home entrance. A tall iron gate stood open with two vampires dressed in black holding umbrellas on either side of it, watching as cars passed through. The road beyond the gate was lined with rows and rows of parked cars, and as we continued down it, we eventually came to the actual parking lot which was equally as packed with cars. It made my stomach swirl with unease. How many families had come to this funeral? How many people had died?

We drove further, pass crowds of vampires walking toward the funeral home, all dressed in black. We passed the funeral home itself— towering, grand, the very image of a mansion. It was basked in a yellow glow from the multiple outside lights, making it look more intimidating than inviting. There was a line of vampires at the front, filing in, being greeted by more funeral home workers.

We passed them and came to the back of the funeral home, where we finally parked. A few vampires, who I assumed to be more funeral home workers, held out umbrellas as we stepped out of the car. Nadir came right to my side, so close his arm brushed mine as we walked. We entered through a back door, and immediately, a somber aura came over me. Adora, Felix, Nadir, and I followed the workers as they led us to what appeared to be a waiting room. The room was as elegant as the outside of the building. Plush seats in each corner, a Victorian sofa, beautiful artwork on the floor, and tissue boxes on every open surface.

"Please wait here until the funeral service begins," one of the workers said.

"We will," Nadir answered. "Has His Highness arrived?"

The vampire gave a quick dip of his head. "Yes. He's preparing with Queen Sura."

"Tell him all is good here."

"Of course." The worker gave a little bow before exiting the room.

Adora wandered around the room, inspecting the artwork. I stood still alongside Felix, who had his arms crossed over his chest. Nadir turned to both of us, his face stern. "During the service, you will sit next to Claude, Cleo."

My eyes widened. "What?" I had to sit next to him? I thought I'd be off in a corner somewhere!

"I ask you be respectful to the deceased family... no matter what looks they give you, or may say."

"Why do I have to sit next to him? How does that make any sense? My family is the reason their family is dead. So why do they have to face me—" I started, realizing my voice was high-pitched and panicked.

"I told you. It's so they can see you understand the consequences of your family's actions."

"This is messed up," I said, horrified. "Will it really make them feel better? How?"

"It's what has been decided," Nadir said with an air of finality.

Felix snorted, rolling his eyes. "That definitely sounds like the safest place for Cleo."

"I never asked for your opinion," Nadir said sharply to Felix. "You're welcome to wait with the public."

Felix scowled. "No, thanks. I'm fine here."

The two glared at each other for a moment, and I felt my hands shaking, so I clenched my hands into fists, trying to stop it. If this is what the families really wanted, who was I to decide it was wrong? Was this any different than a victim's family reading their victim impact statements to the perpetrators? If it gave them any kind of peace, I had to do it.

I tried to keep this mindset as we waited for what felt like forever and then as we were retrieved to take our seats in the parlor. Inside, I felt sick and could barely walk because I was shaking so much. Nadir must have noticed because he laid his arm against my lower back, and I once again was surprised by his act of kindness, too used to his apathy.

Inside the main room of the parlor, the temperature rose several degrees, and I could feel sweat beading at my forehead. From that, and from my nerves, as I took in the thousands of vampires sitting in the rows and rows of benches made of carved redwood and plush deep red cushions. It had to be thousands of them. Every inch of the massive room was packed. The place felt more like a theater than a funeral home— it had two stories and also a few alcoves. All full of vampires. And I couldn't see half of the balcony, so who knew how many more were up there?

I was led to the front row, where Claude was already seated alongside Sura to his left and a few of the royal guards I'd seen him with before. I could feel eyes on me as I followed Nadir, trying not to look over the crowd again. But my betraying eyes glanced over and met the gazes of hundreds, all staring, all varying degrees of emotion. Curiosity, grief, anger, hate. I pulled my gaze away, focusing on Claude and the others again. All of them were dressed as luxuriously as I was— Sura in a long black dress similar to mine, but a bit more modest—something I wouldn't have minded—Claude in a regal, black three-piece suit, and the guards in their regular black garb.

The seat to Claude's right was empty, and Nadir guided me straight to it, separating me from Felix and Adora. "Sit," he ordered me before turning to Adora and Felix. "You two have to sit on the balcony."

I sat stiffly next to Claude on the plush bench, my hands clenched together in my lap. It took everything I had not to look at him. I would already draw enough attention to myself just by being who I was and what I was wearing, so I didn't need the extra that could come with interacting with Claude. As much as I wanted to ask him all the questions I had for him, this wasn't the time or place. I had to control myself and hold back.

Of course, what I couldn't control, was Claude himself. I could feel his eyes on me, but I refused to meet them. Whispers arose from around us, and I stared hard at my hands, resisting the urge to see who was talking. I knew it was the families who had lost someone. They surrounded me. How was it right I sat in the front row while they sat behind me? Maybe it had something to do with the fact the funeral was obviously being held by the royal family, but it still didn't feel right.

Then again, I'd never been to a funeral before. I'd also expected caskets set up or something, but there was nothing in front of us. I peeked up from my hands to inspect the area again. There were many vases of flowers decorating the front of the room, a podium set up to the left, a grand piano to the right, and a massive screen in the center along the wall. As I stared at the screen, it lit up, and the faces of over a dozen young vampires appeared on the screen. All smiling, all full of life.

My blood turned cold as I realized these were the vampires who passed away. I couldn't help it. I counted the photos. Twenty-three. Twenty-three young vampires, murdered. Frozen, I just stared, taking in vampire after vampire, seeing them so happy.

Horror washed over me as I took in one photo in particular. Esin. It was Esin. In the photo, she had her arms wrapped around someone I didn't recognize and was grinning at the camera, her long black hair reaching her waist in this photo, missing the purple dyed ends. My hand went to my mouth, my body feeling numb. No.

The funeral home director stepped up to the podium, but I couldn't hear what she was saying, my eyes glued to Esin's happy photo. My entire body shook now, and I could feel tears forming in my eyes. How could that happen? Esin? Why?

The screen changed, and now photos of a vampire I didn't recognize took it over. A beautiful young woman with blonde hair and the prettiest green eyes I'd ever seen. I glanced briefly at the podium to see what looked like a family standing together behind it. Two older women held each other tightly, tears falling down their faces. A younger male vampire stepped up to the mic, looking absolutely exhausted. "Today, we've come here to honor my little sister, Keriann, who we tragically lost. She was just about to turn eighteen. She didn't even make it to adulthood." The young vampire's voice broke there, tears streaming down his cheeks. "My baby sister. She was so excited to have her birthday party... she didn't make it...."

A lump formed in my throat, and I had to turn away from him, back to the projector, where Keriann's photo changed to her with her brother, caught under his arm as they goofed off, laughing. My eyes burned. I held back a sob that threatened to spill.

I couldn't cry. But the cries from her mothers tore at me. The brother could barely speak as he told stories of his sister's life, of her accomplishments, of her favorite things, of her love from her family who would never see her again, and who would suffer for the rest of her life.

Because of me. Because of my family.

I didn't know how much time passed before the next family went up. The photos changed. More tears were shed. Then the photos changed again. I went numb at some point, staring at the screen, trying to memorize every face in every photo, promising myself I'd remember them. I'd remember what my father had done to them. I would carry his crimes, and I would never forget it. I'd never let myself forget.

When Esin's photo appeared, the air left my lungs. I didn't know if I could do this. Nausea rolled over me. My breathing quickened, and I tried to even it out, not wanting to draw attention to myself. I didn't know if I could look at her family. The photo on the screen changed, and for a second, it took me by surprise— there were two of Esin in the photo.

And that's when I remembered she had a twin sister.

Slowly, my gaze traveled to the podium, where Esin's family stood.

And Esin herself. With the purple in her hair, I'd noticed missing from the photo on the screen.

Relief hit me like a wave. Esin was alive. But just as soon as I had that thought, guilt crushed me. How could I think that? How could I be relieved her sister was dead instead of her? What was wrong with me?

And as I had that thought, Esin's eyes met mine. Her lips trembled. I didn't know what to do. I'd just thought I was glad her sister was dead instead of her.

I'm sorry, I mouthed, clenching my hands into fists.

Esin bit her lip and looked away from me at the crowd before her before she spoke. "When you're born as a twin, you're born as one of the luckiest people in the world, in my opinion. You have a built-in partner for life. Esgi wasn't only my sister, but she was my best friend, my other half. If you don't have a twin, it's hard to understand. There's a bond we have that could never be replicated. We planned our entire lives together. We even planned to be buried next to each other in identical outfits. I would never have thought I'd be alone in this world without her. I never thought she'd be buried first. I never thought I'd be a twin-less twin."

I couldn't listen to this, but I had to. I had to. For Esin and for Esgi.

"A piece of her will never leave this world, though. The piece that is me. I will carry on her soul and live for her. I'll experience everything she wanted to and never could. I will miss her forever. It feels like a piece of me has been killed. It's so hard to look at my own face sometimes." Esin paused, swallowing hard. "But at the same time, I'm so happy to be able to see my face. I feel like I'm still looking at her. When I smile, I see her alive and well. She will never be forgotten. I love you, Esgi."

Esin stepped back from the podium, letting her parents step up. Her parents spoke about Esgi, full of love and full of happy, warm memories. The more they spoke, the hollower my chest became. They lost someone so precious to them. And I'd been relieved it wasn't their other daughter.

As the next family stepped up, I became completely numb. Face after face came on screen, one family sobbed so hard they couldn't get their speech out and just walked away. On and on it went. I shook, feeling so incredibly cold. Eventually, all families had come and gone, and Claude stood up from beside me.

A hand appeared in my vision. I looked up at Claude. He moved his hand closer. "Take it."

With no strength or desire to make a scene, I placed my hand in his, and he pulled me up. He entwined his fingers with mine before letting our hands fall to his side. He guided me up to the podium, and Sura stood as well, following us up. With no choice but to face the attendees, I felt my heart stop. So many of the families I'd just seen giving speeches sat so close to me. They all stared hard at me, watching my every move. Some were still crying.

Claude stepped up to the podium, finally releasing my hand. "Before I give my address, I would like to acknowledge and thank all the families attending today's services. Your courage and compassion are second to none. In the face of such a terrible tragedy and unspeakable loss, you have proved yourselves resilient and enduring. The care you've shown for each other through your hurt is something so inspiring, I find it hard to put in words how proud you should be. Even through such grief, you continue on. As this is a time for remembrance, I will not be speaking on the legal matters and the processes of finding the ones responsible. I will release those at another time."

A small murmur of agreement came from the crowd. Claude continued, but I stopped paying attention because I'd found Esin in the crowd. Once again, she met my gaze. Her eyes were red and puffy. I instantly felt the need to apologize again.

Esin's lips moved.

I missed what she was trying to mouth. She attempted it again. This time I caught it.

It's okay.