.

Kisses on my shoulder, kisses on my neck, my back. My hand reaches behind me, wrapping it around the back of his neck, pulling him in closer to me as I let out a little moan. He pushes his morning erection up against my ass and the feel of how hard I make him makes my smile appear. I push myself back into him letting him know I've noticed.

"I need you" Kane whispers into my ear.

Yes please!

My eyes flicker open as I look around the room. Sydney is sleeping on the couch. Morgan and Cole are cuddled up together on the floor beside us (looking adorable, might I add). Morning sex cannot happen here. I stand up quickly and pull Kane's hand to follow me upstairs. It's early, I don't hear any floors creaking so no one is awake.

I swing the door open and find my dad sitting at the kitchen table drinking his coffee. Kane runs into my back and groans when he sees his future father-in-law.

Cock blocked.

"Morning." My dad laughs and sips from his cup. "In a hurry to get somewhere?"

"A cold shower" Kane groans again as he leaves the kitchen with his hands covering his hard on.

I had been home almost a week already and alone time with Kane was apparently something that was not going to happen. At least not if my dad had anything to say about it.

"Don't bother following him, there's no empty rooms. Zo is in yours, Emmett is in Syd's and your brother is in his own."

I plop myself into the seat beside him and grab his coffee. "Are you saying that I'm not talented enough as my sister to figure out shower sex?"

"Jesus, Gabby!" His head shakes and he rubs his face with his hands. "I'm trying to forget that!"

I giggle, take a sip of the coffee and set it down. "No worries. I really don't have time anyways. It's time I actually act like a bride and begin to worry that shit isn't done yet. Sue and I are putting together my center pieces today. Plus I have my last fitting today for my dress."

He nods and stands from the table, silent. He looks exhausted, almost like he did after Courtney. Bags under his eyes with creased worry lines across his forehead, he has no color to his face.

"Dad, are you okay?"

He turns on the faucet, scoops a handful of water into his hands and pushes it into his face. He takes a deep breath and nods. "I'm tired. It's been a long week. Just thinking about a lot."

"Are you sleeping?" I glance up to him. It's been seven years since Courtney. I know those nightmares we both experienced. No one else understands that night like we do, I could see where this would bother him still.

"I'm a parent. I never sleep." He gives me a smile, but I know it's fake. This is something he doesn't want to talk about and I need to respect that. "Why is your brother sleeping in his old room and not downstairs with you guys? He seemed pretty pissed when he stormed up here last night."

I pull the rubber band on my wrist and give it a good snap, it breaks and tumbles to the floor. I keep my eyes focused on the blue band lying the linoleum floor, trying not to think about our argument last night.

"Gabs?"

I look back up to my dad and sigh. "He brought up Jax and we got into a fight."

"He brought up Jax? During a wedding festivity?"

"And in front of Kane..." I nod. "He wants to know what Jax did to get into trouble. I don't know, I guess I just feel like that will never be my secret to tell. Courtney obviously had a reason that she didn't want Felix to know. Maybe she was embarrassed, she didn't even really want me to know. But if she wasn't ready to tell him, then I will never be ready to tell him. In his mind, he knew it involved Courtney and he thought that Jax had done something to her."

"Did you clarify that he didn't?"

I nod my head again but frown. "I did in a not so nice way though. Thus, Felix is pissed. I may have told him that Jax went to jail for being a good brother and he should take notes."

His eyes widen and then he presses them tightly closed with a sigh. "Gabby..."

"He never apologized for all that shit senior year. Not for any of it. Not for thinking I lied about Tyler, not for being a dick to me and Jax, for his threats... nothing. He's fine one minute and the next he's a complete jerk. I'll apologize when he does." I cross my arms over my chest and suddenly feel like a teenager again throwing a fit.

He ignores my little tantrum and brings down another mug from the cabinet above him. He pours a hot cup of coffee and hands it to me. Again his face looks troubled. I wish he would talk to me. He was the only one I could talk to after everything seven years ago.

"It's been seven years..." I attempt to open up the conversation. Part of me feels I want to talk to him too. Our conversation in the truck wasn't finished and this week hasn't been easy.

"I'm aware" he sighs and spins his mug on the table. He doesn't look at me, his lips press into a firm line on his face.

"Part of me feels like all the progress made in those years, it went backwards this week. Like suddenly I'm back to how everything was when I left..."

His eyes widen and he shakes his head no. "Gabby..." he holds his hand up.

"Well it does. I'm home. I'm back in this house with Felix and Syd staying here too. Felix and I are not okay apparently and once again arguing about Jax and Courtney. Cole and Morgan are together, I think. Tyler will be back in the picture next week and I haven't had to deal with that around Kane yet. What if he acts how he did on prom, choosing his brother over what I want? Then I'm hanging out with Sue and Larry today, in a house that is filled with memories of my dead best friend and my dead boyfriend. My daughter had an allergic reaction to raspberries..."

"Gabby..." He attempts to cut me off again but I do the same to him.

"...And I'm having nightmares again."

He frowns and holds up his hand to stop me. "Watch what you say around here. Let's just keep the talk of Courtney and Jax to a minimum right now."

"I'm having nightmares of those fucking woods. That I can hear Zo in them and I can't get to her. That I can hear Jax and Court and I can't get to them either. I'm being called three different directions and I try and run to Zo but she's not there. My feet take me right back to Courtney's body but I can't find my daughter."

"The woods are fenced off. The Parkers bought the land last year to keep kids safe. They put up a short fence around the entire area and put a gate on the road. No one goes there anymore. They put an end to the parties and people sneaking out there. The woods can't hurt you. The lake isn't going to hurt you. I won't let anyone hurt you."

"Why aren't you sleeping?!" I yell. I don't mean to be so loud but I can't help it. This isn't like him. I am telling him that it has been seven years and coming here is bringing all this shit up for me again. I see it on his face that he is bothered too. "Talk to me!"

"No." His voice is firm. "Drop it. All of this. Don't bring it up again in this house, okay? Focus on the wedding and let me focus on the fact that it's been seven years. I won't let anything happen to you or Zo. I protect my kids. So enjoy your wedding week, try and and enjoy being home." He places his empty cup into the sink and walks away, leaving me alone in the kitchen.

Once again, my dad is angry with me. Once again, speaking of Jax is off limits. Welcome back to senior year, Gabby Brooks.

<><><>

Numerous boxes sit on my porch. I have boxes of various sized vases, boxes of vanilla scented ivory candles, scraps of burlap, ivory ribbon, glue guns, and bottles of wine. The wine isn't for the center pieces, it's for us. I think we're going to need it. I'm going to need it. I may have already had two glasses to calm my nerves before I attempt to walk into that house.

I decide to dress comfortably. My hair is pulled into a messy bun, I have on some gray yoga pants, a white T-shirt and my black NorthFace jacket. It's cool out today, with a nice breeze coming off the lake. I try and focus on that, how nice of a day it is. This is another wedding festivity that I should be enjoying. If this goes well, and Larry does okay, Zo could meet her grandparents today. The thought of her opening up to the conversation of Jax would make me so happy. I'm not getting my hopes up though. I would never push it onto her if she wasn't ready.

I pick up one of the boxes with the vases first, there are about four of these. I place one of the wine bottles in it, because again this is a priority for the day. A deep breath later and I'm walking across the street. It's as if I can't even feel my legs, that somehow they just know where they are supposed to go. By the time I'm knocking on their screen door, I feel ill.

Sue's tired face appears in the door and she gives it a gentle push open with a forced smile. I'm getting a lot of these today.

"I brought wine."

Her smile grows and she nods approvingly. "We are going to need it Gabby-girl." She holds the door open wide and allows me to walk in. The familiar smell of their home hits me and already I'm blinking back tears. Don't cry Gabby, today will be fun. Do it for Zo.

"Where would you like me, Sue?"

She clears her throat and motions to the back door. "I thought we could work on the back porch. It's nice out and you seemed worried about being in the house the other day. I understand that, it's a lot."

I let out a breath and nod my head. "That sounds perfect."

"I'll meet you out there. I've got an extra glue gun and I'll grab some goblets for the wine."

"Great." I smile and make my way to their back door as she begins digging for her glue gun. I slide it open carefully, maintaining a firm grip on my box. I'm already feeling better about today. Being outside on a nice day, drinking wine, working on wedding stuff with an old friend will be good. I back my way outside and slowly shut the door.

"Dan, I know- fuck."

I turn quickly with wide eyes to the familiar voice, dropping my box and shattering the entire contents of vases and wine. Red liquid seeps through the box and onto the deck. Those tears I was blinking back escape and I can't breathe at the sight before me. I've fucking lost it because there is no way I am seeing who I am seeing right now.

Bright green eyes go wider than my own, appearing to be just as surprised if not more than I am.

"Hey Books..."