.

My car is parked outside of town, my glare focused on a giant sign that says "Welcome to Luxberg - Home of the Lions. Population: 479." Part of me always regretted not crossing my number off seven years ago as I left this shit town.

I twiddle my thumbs against the steering wheel and take deep breaths. I can't just get this far and not drive in, right? Cars, trucks and tractors pass me on the road, waving to me. They don't even know who I am but it's a small town thing, wave at everyone, even if they could be a murderer. Yeah, no, fuck this. I turn my steering wheel all the way to the left and begin my U-turn to get the hell out of here. I'm stopped by a large black familiar truck that takes up both lanes.

"Mother fucker son of a-"

"Those are bad words!" Zo yells from the backseat.

"That's right. So don't listen or repeat them." My cursing continues under my breath as I watch the window of the truck roll down. I mimic the action with my own window and roll my eyes. "You seriously waited for me to roll into town?"

Cole laughs and nods his head. "I knew this would freak you out!"

"I can't do it." My head shakes as I begin to cry. "I can't."

"Two weeks Gabs. You'll hang out with your family, you'll hang out with old friends, you'll marry that guy you love. Then you go home with your family of three. Nothing bad is going to happen. I've been back here for three years, nothing has happened. Two weeks is nothing."

He's right. Two weeks. I can do this. I give him a nod and roll my window back up. My car ignores the town speed limit (Okay me, I'm ignoring it. 20mph is absurd) and I make my way through town quickly.

Multiple cars are parked in front of my parent's home, everyone is helping get ready for the party tonight. I do everything in my power to avoid looking at the Parker house. I'm going to lose it if I take one look at it. I'm not an idiot, I know this is going to happen at some point during this trip but I need it to not happen in front of my daughter.

Cole followed me back into town and begins emptying my car as Zo squirms to get out of her seat. "Grandpa!" She smacks the glass of the window.

"Zo!" He yells back with a chuckle and frees her from the car. Dad picks her up and plants a big kiss on her cheek.

"Hi daddy" I wrap my arm around him and my daughter and I get the same big kiss on my cheek.

"Hi Gabbers. How was your drive?"

"SO LONG!" Zo drops her arms to her side and rolls her eyes.

"Mom's constant phone calls didn't help. Where is she?"

Dad's eyes grow wide as he sets his granddaughter back down. "She is setting up in the backyard. Zo why don't you go find her. She can't wait to see you."

Her bright green eyes look up to me, a silent way of asking for approval. "Go ahead." I point to the side of the house. "Stay away from the woods, okay? Just walk around the house." She runs off quickly. I'm sure my mom will have her working in no time.

"Where's Kane?"

"Your mom gave him a million errands to run so I'm thinking he's at the bar hiding." I smile and nod, knowing that is very likely a true statement. "How bad are you right now?"

I glance up to my dad, his knowing eyes are focused on me. I decide I need to be honest with him. "I'm one glance towards a blue house away from losing my shit."

He puts his hands on my shoulders and turns me to look at it, I dart my eyes towards my car. "Then look now and get it out of your system. Your fiancé isn't home, your mom likely already has your daughter setting tables and your siblings and best friends are busy preparing food. I have beers in the garage for us. So look now, let it out and let it go."

I slowly lift my eyes to a large blue Victorian home. It looks the same as it did when I left, other than the tree in the front yard grew a few feet. My lungs contract as my focus turns to the dark wood swing that hangs from the porch. Hot tears fall from my eyes and I wipe them away with my arm and begin sniffling. I want to see the lights flicker in his window as he watches TV. I want to look over and see him smiling at me as he reads a good book. I want him to meet me in the middle of the street and hug me, no one hugs like he does. I want him, in that house, making love to me in the shower and in his bed with popcorn falling everywhere. I cover my face and hunch my body over as I sob.

"Come on" my dad rubs my back and clears his throat. "Time for that beer."

He guides me towards the garage. I stop when I see my grandpa's truck in the stall instead of his Buick. "Where's the car?"

"It's parked in back, which is driving your mom fucking mad. Thought maybe since you were home we could work on it a little. Easy stuff, like brakes."

I feel terrible. This was meant to be something to repair my relationship with my dad. I completely abandoned both the truck and him when I left. "Can we work on it tonight?"

He laughs and shakes his head. "Maybe. Let's see how sober you are after this party."

I hold my pointer finger up and nod. "Good thinking."

I open the driver door to the truck and crawl in as my dad pulls two Bud Lites from a dorm fridge he keeps under his workbench. He gets into the passenger seat and hands one to me. We clink them together and I chug it faster than I have with any other drink in my life, including water.

"We've come a long way Gabbers. I used to have to confiscate your beer."

My eyebrow lifts playfully. "What exactly did you do with it? It never came home..."

"Gave it to Timmy."

"I fucking knew it!" He laughs as I shake my head and peer down the to the floor of the cab. Something round catches my eye and I wiggle myself down to pick it up. Between my fingers I hold a little purple smiley face that at one time was gummy but now is hard as a rock. My sniffles start again and I try and choke down the sobs that are about to escape me.

"What is that?"

"It's one of Jax's fruit snacks, he ate all the grape flavored ones on our date because I hate artificial grape." I toss it to the dash and try to divert my eyes from it.

"Gabby, be honest with me." He shifts his body so that he's looking directly at me. "Are you ready for all this?" He motions his hands around the garage but I know he means the wedding.

I nod my head yes. "It's just hard being here. I left for a reason. Not much has changed. It hurts."

"And you love Kane?"

He knows I love Kane, but again that's not exactly what he's asking. "I love Kane. I love him with me, I love him with Zo. That said..." I look away from him back towards the purple smiley face on the dash. "He will never be Jax. And that's okay. That's something I've learned I have to live with. I love them both in two very different ways, I don't compare them, that would not be fair to Kane or any other guy who could have won me over. It's just that Jax was... it. He gave me Zo and he should have been with us. But he's gone and Kane and I are really happy and so in love. I'm going to be okay." His face looks pained and that wasn't my intent. "I promise dad, Kane and I are a done deal. I love him so much. I'm going to grow old with that crazy Porter boy."

"Okay." He nods and chugs the rest of his beer as my mom opens the door the garage.

"Come on you two! Get a move on! You have a half hour to shower and get dressed! Do I have to do everything around here? I invited a few more people, thank god the cake lady gave us an extra dozen cupcakes for free because she was running late, but they are here now! Gabby did you remember to bring that little necklace that I got Zo?"

"Nice to see you too mom. I'm good by the way. Drive was nice other than my damn phone wouldn't stop ringing..."

"No one likes a smart ass Gabby."

"Grandma said a bad word!" A little voice rings out from inside the house.

My dad laughs as we get out of the truck. "How did you end up raising a tattletale?"

"Karma kicked me right in the ass for every lie I ever told you."

<><><>

The sound of the party booms from the backyard. I can hear it all the way up in my room. My room that I don't want to leave.

All those people down there, they are the ones who turned their backs on me. They whispered, they gossiped, and they lied. They were fucking cruel. Now I'm supposed to put on my happy face and thank them for their congratulations on my engagement. I know exactly what's going to happen tonight... they are going to see Zo and whisper about her. She's six. She doesn't know any better but I do. They are going to notice that I have a green eyed daughter. My eyes are blue and Kane's are dark brown. I fucking love her green eyes; his eyes.

I open the side drawer next to my bed and pull out a handful of rubber bands and slide them onto my wrist. Then I pick a bright orange one and give it a good snap.

"Hey."

I peer up to Kane and smile at the sight before me. He's wearing a nice pair of black dress slacks and an off white button down dress shirt with his hands in his pockets. "Hey handsome."

He sits beside me on the bed and pulls my hand into his lap, fidgeting with the rubber bands. "You okay?"

"Yeah. It's just a lot for one day. Sort of wish I would have came in yesterday to get used to the idea of being here again."

He places his forehead against my temple and wraps an arm around me. His warm skin feels good against mine. I want to just stay up in this room and make love to him as we hide from people I don't trust. "I love you, Gabby. Don't worry about those people down there. No one's opinion matters but yours and mine."

I curl my fingers into his neck and nuzzle in close. "I love you too."

"I wish I was marrying you tomorrow, baby. All these parties, they aren't us. I just want you, me, and Zo, our close friends and family."

"I know." I kiss his lips and then lick mine. "Mmm, Corona."

"You want one, pretty girl?"

I nod and stand from the bed. "Get me drunk, Porter. Maybe you'll get lucky tonight."

"Well shit yeah, let's see what we can do!" he laughs.

The backyard is filled people. Tables are set up all over the yard, some are filled with picnic food. Twinkle lights glitter above the guests. Light music plays in the background. It's beautiful, my mom outdid herself.

Kane grips my hand tight, knowing I'm nervous. People swarm is with their congratulations, just as I predicted. People I recognize but can't but a name to their face. They tell me how beautiful my daughter is and how great it is that I'm back. Right.

I feel a tug on the back of my dress and turn to Zo. "Mommy, can I have a cupcake?" I give her a smile and nod. She quickly scampers off.

"Gabby-girl?" A familiar voice sounds out. I smile knowing only one person ever called me this. Sue and Larry Parker stand near the refreshments and I move to give them each a big hug. They don't know about Zo, part of me worries they will take one look in her eyes and see their son's. But they don't seem to notice as she runs around me with her cupcake.

"It's so good to see you both, thank you for coming."

"We wouldn't miss it, honey. I have plans with your mom this week to help out with some wedding decorations, I hope you don't mind. This is something I never got to do with Courtney..."

I swallow hard at the sound of my friend's name and a tear streaks down my cheek. I nod. "You can help with as much as you want Sue. You always were my other mom..."

She gives me another big hug. "You look beautiful and happy. We are so proud of you. Enjoy your night."

"Thank you."

They walk away towards my parents and I take a deep breath and look back towards an uncomfortable Kane. I don't blame him, they are Zo's grandparents.

"Girlfriend!" Morgan's arms wrap around me. She's clearly intoxicated already. "You are getting married! To Kane! Fuck he got hot..." He laughs as she turns to him. "Oh! There he is! You got hot!"

"How much have you drank?" Kane's eyes go wide at her honesty.

"Two bottles..."

"That doesn't seem like much?" he looks to me.

"She's talking about wine, handsome." I look back at my friend, knowing her exact tolerance for alcohol.

Morgan hiccups and giggles nodding yes. As if the heavens were aligned at this very moment Cole comes into my sight. I grab Morgan's hand and walk a few steps with her as she stumbles. "Hey Cole! Have you met my friend Morgan?" I give her and light push and she stumbles into him. Cole grabs her waist to keep her from toppling over.

"Gabby!" Her face goes red with embarrassment. Cole chuckles and uses his other hand to take a sip of his beer. He keeps his grip on her as she tries to rid herself of his arm.

"Morgan here loves long walks on the beach, the Fast and the Furious franchise minus Tokyo Drift and boys named Cole Miller. Have a nice night!" I walk quickly back through the crowd, clutching Kane's hand, trying to escape before Morgan blows at me.

We mingle throughout the yard, making circles, trying to catch everyone before they leave. I feel another tug on my dress. "One cupcake, Zo." I turn to her and notice her lips are slightly puffy. I drop to my knees and grab her hands. "Zo, did you go near the woods?"

She shakes her head. "No" her voice is raspy. Her cheeks flush and she begins scratching at her throat. This has only happened with her once before but we are prepared.

"KANE! Get my purse! Get it NOW!"

"Shit! Move!" He pushes people out of the way and runs to the house.

"What did you eat, Zo?!"

"A cupcake... it was pink..." she croaks.

"Was it raspberry?!"

"I don't know" she cries. Her fingers continue to claw at her throat. I pick her up quickly and begin running with her towards the house as she begins to cry. I meet Kane at the back porch as people begin to swarm and watch.

"Gabby what's going on?!" My dad pushes through the crowd and drops to Zo. Her face continues to swell.

Kane dumps the contents of my purse to the ground and hands me the EpiPen Junior.

"I think the cupcakes have raspberry in them" I sob. I hike up Zo's dress and stab her firmly in the thigh with the pen.

I pull her into my lap and hold her tight as she cries. Kane takes her little hand in his and we watch as her swelling goes down. My panic remains, flooding my entire body with shaking and crying.

"She's okay Gabby." Kane assures me.

He doesn't understand. One fucking night in this town and my daughter could have died the same way as her dad. I can't watch this happen again.

People whisper though the crowd and I glare up towards them. That's when I spot Sue and Larry Parker. Larry's arm is around his wife, Sue's hand is covering her mouth, horrified by the site before her.

What do I say to them? They obviously know now.

"We should talk..." I choke through my sobs and continue cradling my daughter.