Armin found himself standing in front of the painter's easel, holding up an empty canvas. It wasn't even seven o'clock in the morning. The sun had just come up and he had placed the easel in front of the window so that he would have enough light to paint.

After a sleepless night where he had maybe three hours of sleep, he really needed to get something out of his system. This picture is in his head... Over and over again, it was haunting his mind!

As he painted, he was ashamed of the image that was beginning to form on the canvas but he was too tired to really care. He let the brush dance over the canvas, stroking, dabbing, and blending the paint. Greens, turquoise, browns, white and black.

When it was ten o'clock, there came a knock on the door. Armin quickly turned the easel around so the person knocking on his door wouldn't be able to see his work of art.

"Yes, come in," Armin answered.

Kristof opened the door and peeked his head inside. "Good morning. Ah! You're painting! Can I see it?" he asked while walking into the room.

"No! I mean, it...it's not finished yet!" Armin said as he jumped in front of his work, protecting it with his life. Kristof mustn't come any closer.

The younger one felt his skin burning on his cheeks, so he quickly turned around, hiding his flushed face, and pretended to clean his brushes. He didn't want Kristof to see his red blushing face.

"Are you busy with the painting I asked for? Can I see it?" Kristof asked again.

What should Armin do now? He hated lying. But no way he was going to tell Kristof what was depicted in the painting. Let alone show it to the man!

"Your self-portrait you mean? I will show that to you when it's finished." It wasn't a lie.

"Okay, okay... I can wait. I came here to say goodbye. I will leave to go to the mine now. I waited because I was hoping to see you at breakfast this morning, but alas. Aren't you hungry?"

When Armin felt that most of the red burning sensation had left his face, he turned around to face Kristof again.

"No, not that hungry." And he was also busy with other things that made him forget breakfast, but he would never tell. "But... maybe you can knock on my door tomorrow morning? We can eat breakfast together then?" Kristof smiled and nodded. "When... when will you be back home today?" Armin asked.

"Before dinner."

"Okay."

After Kristof had left his room, Armin turned the easel around. Thankfully the other hadn't seen the painting! The painting of himself. In the water. Naked... Because that was the image that was haunting Armin's mind.

He dipped the smallest brush in white paint and added highlights to the drops of water that were glittering on Kristof's body. Armin felt a strange feeling inside when he was busy giving form to Kristof's private parts, highlighting and shadowing it; shaping it as he remembered it.

He then added some small black hairs that grew in a fine line towards the navel.

Armin laid the brush down and rubbed his hands over his face a couple of times. "What on earth's name am I doing?!" he asked himself while shaking his head.

What has gotten into him? What if Kristof would find out? How could he explain himself?

✧══════•❁❀❁•══════✧

Kristof sat in the carriage with an unfamiliar feeling nagging at his psyche. Since he came home yesterday, Armin had been acting a bit strange. He hoped the younger one wouldn't get sick!

Kristof also had other things on his mind. Yesterday, it had looked as if Armin was disappointed that he wouldn't teach him horseback riding. And just now, Armin had asked when he would be back home. But it was mostly the look in Armin's eyes that was different.

Could it be that Armin's feelings had started to change for him? Could they call each other friends now? Kristof hoped so. Of course, a little voice told him to hope for more. But he knew it would break him to listen to it.

He could still feel Armin's hair running through his fingers. Or the soft cheek he'd felt underneath his fingertips.

Kristof looked at his fingers and placed them on his lips as if he could kiss the cheek indirectly like that. Kristof knew he was being silly. But he never felt like this before. One time, his feelings came close to this feeling. It was on one of his travels. A guy named Tristan had captured a part of his heart.

Tristan was his first. They were in a relationship together, but it didn't last long and ended when both of them went their separate ways. Tristan came from what seemed like another world. In his culture, flaws weren't that important. He never spoke of Kristof's scar or missing hand and that's why Kristof felt at ease with him.

Tristan was actually a handsome man himself. He had long golden curls, bright blue eyes, and was very tall, but he never gave more than his body to Kristof. There was no real connection in their relationship. It was mostly physical; Kristof understood that now. Back then, he thought Tristan was his soulmate. He wanted to believe that. But now? Now, he knew it wasn't love at all...

~~~

When Kristof came home, he showed Armin two suits he'd picked up at the tailor that day. They were their outfits for tomorrow's ball at the palace. The suit for Armin was maroon colored, made from damask silk. With golden and light pink flower embroidery on the jacket and a light pink silk cravat. Kristof's suit was matching in color, also maroon, but then made of velvet. It was simple, without any embroidery, and with a cream-colored lace cravat.

Armin was very fond of his new outfit. How did Kristof know that maroon was his favorite color?

They talked about their day and Armin told Kristof about his first horseback riding lesson.

A stable boy by the name of Will had taught him the first basics of riding. Armin was very enthusiastic about the whole ordeal. It made Kristof happy that the young man seemed a bit more relaxed around him.

After dinner, they watched the sunset together on the balcony.

The sky looked magical with clouds in different shapes, patterns, and colors. Shades of orange blended in with the red, pink, purple, and blue.

"I have something for you," Kristof said, as he took a little box out of his pocket.

"For me?" Kristof nodded and placed the box in Armin's hand, who opened it with much curiosity. There laid a diamond inside. It was light blue and cast into a golden setting with a pin on the back. A brooch!

The blue stone glittered in the orange sunlight. Armin didn't think he'd ever seen such a shiny stone before.

"This is...for me?" he asked, stunned.

"Yes, I want you to have it. It's actually the only blue diamond I've ever found in my life. They're very rare. So...it's special to me." Kristof seemed to search for the right words before he continued. "Just like you are special to me as well...so, please, I want you to have it."

"Thank you...it's- it's beautiful," Armin whispered, feeling a little overwhelmed after hearing the sweet words.

Kristof gave him a big smile and at that moment, it was as if Armin felt his throat closing up and his heart hammering underneath his breast. He took a deep ragged breath and smiled back.

"Armin, are you okay?" Kristof asked, looking concerned.

Armin clutched at his shirt. His heart wouldn't stop drumming. "Yes, I just...I never received a gift b-before. Thank you."

"You haven't? Not even from... the person you love?" Kristof asked softly.

"Who do you mean? Which person?" Armin asked.

"During that night. You told me that you were in love with someone..."

Armin recalled his words, "well that's a little late now, don't you think? I was forced. Forced to marry you! I am young, handsome, I was in love with someone, and now? Now, I am married to you. Look at you. You're pathetic! You're ugly! Look at you and then look at me! How could you possibly think we can make each other happy?"

God, he was so ashamed of his behavior! How could he ever call this man ugly? Was he blind? And he'd called him pathetic too! Oh, how he wished he could take it all back!

Kristof spoke of Roan right now. Armin had completely forgotten his former lover!

"I was angry and frustrated that night. So...I said things I shouldn't have said. I am so sorry for the words I told you that night, Kristof. I wish I could take them back..."

Armin looked Kristof in the eyes and the older could tell that he was really sincere.

"Thank you, Armin. I know it wasn't easy for you as well. I would be lying if I said your words didn't hurt me. But what hurt me the most was seeing you like that." Armin didn't know what to say. His feelings had been all over the place for the last few days and every time Kristof said something kind, his confusion got worse. "But...you didn't answer my question. Are you...in love with someone else?" Kristof asked.

"No... I thought I was. But I haven't missed him once since I came to this place. He- he wasn't who I thought he was."

That was true. He'd thought about Roan during his time with Kristof, but he never really missed the guy. He'd just missed how life was before and Roan was a big part of that life. But did he even miss that life right now?

A spark of hope enlightened Kristof's heart, as the two of them kept watching the sunset without talking.

"Uhmm... I think I will ask May to run me a bath," Armin said after a few minutes of silence.

"That's good. Goodnight, Armin."

"Goodnight, Kristof."