《Face Your Fears》Chapter 15

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"Thank you so, so much for doing this. I mean, you're the best photographer on this side of Manhattan, and I know you're very busy and - "

"Really, it's not a problem," I said, cutting off the excited mother before she could blab my ear off into the next century. "It's my job."

Not that I was conceited or anything, but it was kind of flattering that I occasionally had a few clients that tripped over their feet whenever I was able to set up a photo shoot with them.

I'd just finished up a photo shoot for this seventeen-year-old boy's senior pictures in Central Park, I'd just gotten my last payment, and I was ready to go home. It was barely noon, but I was bloody exhausted.

The other week when my sisters and I had sat around the table with our mother and she'd told us about our father had been an insanely long day. I still wasn't sure if I had completely recovered from it, either.

I hadn't left until sometime around nine in the evening, and by that time we'd gone through two photo albums, a home video and an entire box of tissues. The emotions brought on by everything that had been said that night were not pleasant and not easy to deal with; a week later and I was still reeling from it all.

As much as I hated seeing my little sisters and my mom crying, seeing them in so much pain, it had been good for us. All of the cards had been laid out on the table, and we now knew where everyone stood in our family...to an extent where I was involved, I supposed.

It was going to take a while for everything to go back to normal, but I sincerely hoped that April, May and June knew that even if I was emotionally inept, I was still their older brother and that I'd be there for them no matter what. I just wished I'd done that sooner.

I bid the woman and her son goodbye after assuring them that I would have their proofs in the mail within the week.

I made my way through Central Park with a quick gait, anxious to get home as soon as possible. The second I walked through the front door I had every intention of throwing myself onto the bed face first and sleeping for the next twenty-four hours.

The more time wore on, the more I realized that there was an equation involved whenever Hadley and I went to bed at the same time.

If the baby was up and active, that meant Hadley was up and active, which meant that I was up and active the entire freaking night. I swear, my legs were covered in bruises from how many times Hadley had kicked me when she'd roll around in bed, trying to get comfortable to fall asleep.

Considering everything that was going on at the moment, I was a little more at ease when Hadley was in sight, but she was at work today and I had to get some sleep. I doubted I'd be able to function much longer on two hours of sleep a night any longer.

I trudged my way down into the subway and stood in a daze, waiting for the train that would stop close by the apartment to arrive. When the train arrived I stumbled my way on and took a seat in the back, leaned my head back against the window and tried to keep my eyes open. Falling asleep on the subway never did anybody any good.

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"...Mom. Mom, I'm hungry. Can we get some food before we go to your office? Please?"

I glanced over at the sound of a very annoyed, upset voice that broke over the din of the blabbing people on the train. A young girl, a few years younger than the triplets, probably, was sitting in the seat across from me, next to a woman who obviously worked somewhere close to Wall Street. She was avidly tapping away on an iPhone and clearly not paying any attention to her daughter.

The girl heaved an exasperated sigh when her mother remained silent, distracted by her cell phone.

It was a little creepy, I know, for me to be sitting there and watching this girl try and get her mother's attention, but something about this scene was far too familiar to me.

"Mom!"

"Oh, for the love of God." The woman dropped her phone in her lap and glared down at her daughter, strong enough for me to feel the waves of distaste radiating off her. "Emily, can't you see I'm busy? I've told you before not to interrupt me when I'm on the phone."

The girl glared back at her mother and threw herself back against the seat, crossing her arms over her chest. The woman just picked up her phone and went back to whatever she was doing, completely oblivious to her daughter.

I couldn't exactly blame the little girl for being so put-out. If you had a child, that meant that child was yours - your responsibility, your job, your everything. The least the mother could do was buy her kid some flipping food.

Jesus.

When the train came to a halt at the 5th Avenue stop, I stood up on an impulse and forced my way out onto the platform, jogged up the greasy steps to the surface.

I'd been known to act on impulse before, but this had to be one of the craziest ideas that had just sprouted up out of nowhere. The repercussions probably weren't going to be all that desirable, but this was far overdue, too. And I had a keen suspicion that if Hadley never opened her mouth, this was going to go on unresolved for God only knows how long.

And who knew? Maybe this was even a fear I hadn't realized yet until exactly this moment.

I was completely winded by the time I jogged three blocks over and forced my way into the main lobby of the BioMed building. I immediately felt out of place, with all of the building's pristine marble floors and splashing fountains, but I forced myself to put that out of my mind as I marched over to the information desk.

It took a moment of haggling to get a pass up to the ninth floor from the half-asleep attendant behind the desk, and then I was on the move again, heading for the elevators.

I bounced on the balls of my feet while the elevator took its sweet time, stopping on every floor but the ninth floor. When it was finally my stop, I forced my way out with a hurried excuse me over my shoulder and took off through the desert of cubicles.

"I'm sorry, can I help you?" A snobby woman sitting at a desk outside an office marked Michaela Jamison, Assistant CEO, gave me an annoyed look as I approached.

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"I need to see Michaela," I said, pointing a finger to the office. "Now."

The secretary leaned back in her chair, raising her eyebrows, apparently shocked. "And you are?"

"Archer Morales."

"Well, Archer Morales, do you have an appointment with Mrs. Jamison?"

"I don't think I really need one."

"Oh, really? And why do you - "

"I'm Mrs. Jamison's son-in-law."

The secretary didn't look convinced by my words, but she still grabbed the phone off her desk, dialed a number and waited.

"Mrs. Jamison, I apologize for interrupting, but there's an Archer Morales here saying that he needs to see you and - " A shocked look crossed her face as Hadley's mother spoke on the other line, and the secretary quickly put down the phone. "Go ahead and go on in."

I wrenched open the office door without another word and stepped inside, quickly shutting the door behind me.

Hadley's mother sat behind the large mahogany desk in the wide, spacious room, looking exactly the same as the last time I'd seen her several months ago. Same business suit, same hairstyle. She did, however, look very surprised to see me barging my way in here.

"Archer," Michaela said, stunned. "What are you doing here? Is everything alright? I haven't - "

"Hadley's pregnant."

Michaela choked on a breath, her eyes widening incredulously. "Excuse me? Did I hear that correctly? My daughter is pregnant?"

"No, you heard right," I said, walking forward until my hands were flat on the desk, leaning towards her. "I imagine you must be pretty surprised finding this out, of course, considering Hadley hasn't wanted to tell you or your husband for the past four months."

"Are you serious? I don't think I - "

"Now, can you think of why that might be?"

I didn't give Michaela a chance to answer. I kept going. I sounded harsh and rude, but at this point I wasn't going to hold back. The anger and animosity I'd always held for Michaela Jamison had reached a boiling point and she was caught in the cross-fire.

"I'd assume it's probably because you and Kenneth neglected your daughter for eighteen years of her life. And you know what? I feel sorry for you, because you don't know the amazing woman Hadley is now and you probably never will. She hasn't said it, but I know she'd love for you and Kenneth to be involved in the baby's life. But if you don't want to get to know your grandchild, either? Well, then, you and Kenneth really are as fucked up as I've always thought you were."

I left the office after that final sentence, an odd sense of accomplishment rising in the pit of my stomach. I really hadn't just acted very adult-like, but like I gave a shit right now. I could've been a little more eloquent, too, but I think my words got the point across.

I still hadn't really adjusted to the idea of being a father just yet and I wasn't the most affectionate guy around, but there was no way in hell I would ever raise a child the way Michaela and Kenneth raised Hadley. Leaving their kid alone for weeks at a time? Giving them money and then leaving them on their own to take care of themselves? Completely unacceptable.

It was only because of Hadley that I refrained from saying anything to her parents about their ridiculous behavior the moment we were married. And now that was totally thrown out the window. Hadley was going to be downright pissed because of what I just did, but I think her wrath on this was something I'd take lying down.

A half hour later I made my way into the apartment with every intention of throwing myself down on the bed and sleeping for hours. I kicked off my shoes and set my camera bag down on the coffee table, then head for the bedroom.

I stopped short when I saw that the bathroom lights were on, inhaling the scents of burning candles.

Hadley was home? That was a little unusual, considering it wasn't even two in the afternoon and Hadley was rarely ever home before seven.

"Archer?" Hadley's voice echoed through the room. "Is that you?"

I stepped into the bathroom and found Hadley in the tub, surrounded by a mountain of scented bubbles. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were bright, and she looked much more relaxed than she had the past few days.

Holding back a grin was impossible.

"Must be my lucky day, coming home and finding my wife wet and naked."

"Archer!" Hadley flushed bright red and she grabbed the nearest thing she could find, which happened to be a soapy shampoo bottle, and then chucked it at me. "Shut up!"

Was it sad that annoying my wife was way more amusing than it should be?

"What? I'm just saying." I caught the bottle before it could hit me in the head and set it on the counter. "Now, what are you doing home, miele? I thought your shifts don't normally finish until six."

Still blushing, Hadley stretched out in the tub, scooping up a handful of bubbles. "I left early. I was a little tired."

From the way she was avoiding looking me in the eye I knew that there was something she wasn't telling me.

"A little tired...and what else?" I asked, taking a seat on the closed toilet lid.

She shrugged, looking sheepish. "Just tired. The baby really didn't enjoy the spinach salad I had for lunch."

"Hating vegetables already? That's my girl."

A wide smile curled her lips as she looked up at me. "You think the baby's a girl?"

I had no idea where that statement had come from. Really. I'd just blurted it out without thinking. I mean, Hadley had said before that the baby was going to be a girl, wasn't it?

I shrugged, awkwardly clearing my throat. "Maybe. Maybe not."

She burst out laughing. "Oh, honey. Just admit it."

I scowled at her, unsure of what she was getting at. "Admit what?"

"You're just as excited as I am."

Now that statement? That statement I really had no answer to.

"Yeah, yeah," I muttered, staring up at the ceiling. "We'll see."

Hadley shrugged and changed the subject, still looking mighty pleased with herself.

"Please tell me your day was more exciting than mine."

Thinking back to what had just happened at Michaela's office - wondering when Hadley was going to find out about that, too - Hadley was right.

"Yeah, you could say that."

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