《Tightrope》Let's Hope You Don't Try To Dry Hump Us
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"You forgot to wake me up."
Jonah looked as if he'd been recently exhumed. His eyes were half-lidded, as if he was exhausted, and his hair was tousled; not in a cute, effortlessly fabulous way, but in a rumpled I-just-woke-up kind of way.
"What do you mean?" I replied, as the canteen lady handed me my chocolate chip muffin. If there was one thing our school did well, it was make good chocolate chip muffins. 50% muffin, 50% chocolate chip. "Thank you," I told her, before turning to Jonah.
"I sent you a text, remember? 'Hey, Lena, my mum will kill me if I'm not on time, and also get your chef to make me a lunch'."
I did remember that, actually. The normalcy amongst the frustration of hundreds of text messages about my compromising position with Hartley. Jonah was nothing if not consistent. Well, consistent and lazy. "Oh, shit, sorry Jay," I said. "I totally blanked. With the whole Jace extravaganza, everything has been pretty hectic."
Jonah looked displeased. Clearly, excuses were not going to fly with Jonah today. "Well," he said mournfully. "I hope you know that I'm taking your muffin."
I gave my muffin a longing, melancholy look. "That's only fair."
With a parting look of sadness, I surrendered my snack. Jonah seemed to be satisfied with this, because he immediately pulled off a piece of muffin and devoured it.
"And you will be waking me up tomorrow," Jonah said. "And this time, at 6, because my mother hates me, and thinks it's the only way I'll get to school on time."
"It is the only way you'll get to school on time. But I'm not even awake at 6, let alone coming to wake you up."
"Maybe you should've considered that before being a bad friend," said Jonah. Then the edge of his mouth twitched upwards. "Although, I know it must be hard to remember your poor oldest friend Jonah when you're busy trying to resist the passion of your love for Hartley."
I liked Jonah better when he was too concerned about free snacks to jump on the Lena and Hartley train.
"I hate everyone," I said matter-of-factly.
"Let's hope you don't try to dry hump us too, then," said Jonah drily. "Given that seems to be your new hobby with those you hate."
I snorted a laugh.
Alex, Chance and Cady were already sitting at Woody Boy when we arrived, chattering enthusiastically. Well, Alex and Chance were. Cady was never enthusiastic.
"Oh, hey," said Cady as we approached. "Are you still high?"
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Jonah fell into the seat next to her, and immediately lay down, resting the muffin on his stomach. His head lay comfortably in Cady's lap, and she poked his nose experimentally. It didn't rouse him into action. All he did was mutter, "I'm not high."
"Okay, Jonah the Stoner," said Alex. "But we were talking about Lena."
"I was never high, also," I said grumpily.
"So you just voluntarily, without the influence of substances, decided to both get under Jace Hartley and be nice to him?" Chance asked dubiously.
"It was a tackle," I insisted.
"Tackles are romantic," he argued. "Your bodies all pressed together, you know? Hatred and passion and..." I looked at him with obvious disgust, and he held his hands up defensively. "I'm just saying, it can be raunchy."
"If tackles are romantic, then I think you might have a chance with Jace. He tackles blokes on the football field all the time."
Cady smirked. "When Jace tackles blokes on the football field, it does not look like that picture."
Alex nodded in agreement. "Your tackle was all lingering eye contact and sexual tension. If his face was that close to any lad on the football field, I would wholeheartedly bet he played for Chance's team."
"His face was not that close," I protested weakly.
Cady fiddled with her phone for a moment, before turning it around to show me the screen. I hadn't really examined the picture before—too focussed on my annoyance at Kaelin for the poll she'd posted and the stupid response from the school—but Cady... wasn't wrong. If I didn't know better, as the whole school should by now, given my violent and excessive feud with Hartley, I too would've presumed the picture to be romantic—or very sexual—in nature.
"Yeah, okay, it looks bad. But you all know me! Don't you?"
"I thought so," said Cady mildly. "Until Chance told me about some of the things you said this morning. You were worried he wasn't going to be at school?"
I was about to flip her off, or maybe find a nearby bridge to leap off (or shove her off, Austin along with her), when from behind me, Daria called out a singsong "Hello, ladies and gents!"
I inhaled sharply. Daria meant Jace, and Jace meant being nice to Jace. Still, I wasn't going to let Austin expose Cole. So I plastered a friendly smile onto my face and turned to look at Daria. "Heya!"
"Scooch over," said Daria, gently pushing me to the right. I move across without thinking, making room for her on my left. It is as I am in the process that I realise what this means; the only spare space at the table is next to me, and Jace is going to sit in it.
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Usually, I would advise him to enjoy sitting on the grass, and then mock the piss-like patch it would leave behind on his pants. But today was a different day. When Jace wearily eyed the seat next to me, I patted it invitingly. "Come sit."
"So, the sex was unbelievable, clearly," Cady muttered.
I gave her the finger.
Jace still looked hesitant. "You're not saving the seat for your imaginary friend today?"
"Nope, it's for you."
"Your leg isn't sore? You don't need to stretch use the second seat as a footrest?"
"I don't today, no."
"And you're not planning on eating so much over lunch that you plan to expand to fill both seats, and I therefore can't have one?"
"Jonah ate my muffin, so no."
"So, you're telling me," Jace confirmed. "That today there is no excuse for why I can't sit next to you?"
"None."
"I am so confused."
"Just take the seat, Hartley."
Jace tentatively lowered himself in the seat beside me, eyeing me with consideration. Despite our agreement for a truce, he still clearly didn't expect me to be so good at feigning kindness. I'm sure he was struggling to pretend to be nice to me just as much. I could almost sense the mental cogs in his mind thinking of the most subtle, passive aggressive way to continue our feud without breaking the terms of the truce.
I would find the loophole first, I was sure.
"Are you looking forward to our little afternoon tea date?" said Jace.
"Do you take Daria on all of your dates?"
Jace grinned. "Once. It didn't go well."
"Is that because you brought a hot female with you on what most people understand is supposed to be a one-on-one thing."
"That could be it, yeah."
Daria furrowed her brows. "I thought it was cute that he was so nervous he needed to bring me."
Jace reddened. "I was not nervous."
"Which of the unfortun— I mean, lucky girls you dated, got to go on that little three-way date?" I asked curiously. As far as I knew, (which, admittedly, was quite far. I knew far too much about Hartley's love life) Hartley had had one girlfriend (McKenna), and been in a 'thing' briefly with the new girl Jessica Small at the start of last year (for two weeks) and with the exchange student Shara Yung a few months ago (they talked for, like, a month and hooked up once at Daria's 18th). Essentially, dating had never particularly been Jace's thing. Could hardly blame the female population. Dating Jace was the worst thing I could possibly imagine. I'd rather be in the car accident again.
"It was Jessica," commented Cady. "Very funny story."
"You know the story?" I asked.
"Everyone knows the story," said Cady.
Well, I didn't know the story. There was a pang of hurt in my gut; I had an intense fear of missing out, and to hear that Jace's embarrassing dating exploits had been shared with everyone but me... yeah, it didn't sit quite right. I carefully schooled my face into a neutral expression. "I didn't hear about this. What happened?"
"Don't worry," said Jace evasively. The rest of the table remained silent. Cady looked vaguely amused. Chance looked uncomfortable. Jonah was asleep, and Alex was preoccupied with weaving grass into the sleeping Jonah's dark hair. Daria looked upwards avoidantly. Curiosity bubbled within me, but no one seemed willing to answer my question. Jace just said, "Hey, just confirming we're still on for tonight?"
"You mean the charcoal chicken?"
"The project."
"Poor Austin and Liv," Alex commented drily. "Let me know if they want some headphones." As Austin had done this morning, he made a vulgar gesture with his fingers.
"I don't like you," I said. "But yeah, we're still on."
"I will be bringing my own water bottle and peeing out the window," said Jace.
"Gross," said Daria.
"Completely reasonable, I would do the same," I replied.
Chance laughed. "You're a classy girl, Lena Montez."
I flipped my hair dramatically and pouted. Alex threw a pinecone at my head.
My rendezvous with Hartley was soon forgotten by my idiot friends, who were quickly distracted by Alex's obviously half-fabricated tale of his sexual experience with Holland. It was mostly untrue, I would suspect, given that Holland is the hottest person I know, and Alex struggles to get one of his braincells to work every day.
Jace leaned in to say, "So, can we just go from the thing with Daria straight to yours?"
I thought about Knight quickly. "I have to do some shopping first if that's cool?"
"Yeah, sure, I'll come with."
That had... not been what I meant. "Um."
Jace grinned. "Shopping spree." He bumped my shoulder with his. "Cute date, right?"
Clearly, he was using my promise to be nice to him for the purposes of torture. Tomorrow, I was going to kill him. Instead, I just grimaced a smile and said, "Adorable."
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