It was almost half past 7 when Damien dropped me and Charlie off at our apartment and I couldn’t have been any happier.

Charlie was scheduled for his surgery in 5 weeks.

After that he would be cured, and everything would be fine again. And now maybe he had a chance to a real life and childhood, and a real family as well. It would take a while for me and Damien to sort everything out but now that he had told me the truth, I could hardly blame him for acting the way he did.

In fact, the only resentment I still felt was now against myself.

I couldn’t sleep almost the entire night and spend most of the time staring at my blanc wall. There were too many things going on for me to be able to rest even for a second.

The only thing that calmed me a little was talking to Celia.

Before today she had been even angrier with Damien that I had but after I had told her everything that had happened today, she had been just as shocked and overwhelmed as myself.

I also told her about my bad conscience, but she just waved it off.

Still, it took me another few hours to fall asleep but my dreams were tumultuous.

I remembered Elvis, Emma’s tomcat -of which she had shown me lots of pictures- being as big as a three story building, with Talia on his back, who was ordering him to catch a mouse (with me being the mouse).

And I remembered Talia wearing my ball gown (the one I had been wearing at the gala). and there had also been a man in a black gown with a hood covering his face, on a throne in the back.

I didn’t know how but I knew that that man had to be Talia’s father.

Damien was chained to an altar next to the man, wearing a wedding suit and next to him was Malcolm, dressed like as a priest, laughing at me while I had desperately tried to escape the razor sharp blades of Elvis.

And then there was Graham too, who was trying to climb up Elvis’ back, and miserably failing because he never got a good grip on his bright orange fur and the whole dream had been dark and scary as if there had been a swirl of black smoke pressing down on the scenery.

It had felt like my very own death march.

When I woke up, almost half an hour before my alarm went off, my clothes were sweaty, and I was breathing heavily like me being chased hadn’t actually been a dream.

To calm my thoughts, I took a quick cold shower, but I still felt agitated and tense.

How did I end up here?

I couldn’t fall for Damien. I couldn’t fall for someone who was supposed to be engaged to the daughter of a mafia boss, or whoever this man was.

I was just confused and overwhelmed by the entire situation and I didn’t know what to do about it. I had been hurt too many times before to just forget everything Damien had said.

I just couldn’t let myself trust him, even though I wanted to so badly. Everything inside me was aching for his touch.

He made me feel safe. But I also couldn’t ignore everything that had been going on with Talia.

I was worried that Charlie would somehow get caught in the crossfire and even thinking about how mad Talia would be, if she found out that Damien had a son with me, made me shiver.

I was torn but I told myself that I would just have to focus on work to distract myself.

That proposition however, only lasted a few hours because when I sat at lunch with Emma, I checked my phone every 5 minutes, waiting for Damien to text me.

Emma seemed to notice that I was distracted but thankfully she ignored it and just continued gossiping about a coworker of hers that was always wearing way too much makeup and really short skirts to impress the head of their department, John Andrews.

I hadn’t met him yet but from what I had heard, he was pretty handsome, and Emma seemed to think likewise because she flushed whenever she mentioned him.

“A relationship like that would be so inappropriate. In a couple of weeks 3 of us are going to get promoted, she is just trying to make him choose her. It is so unfair! What if she gets the promotion instead of me, just because she is trying to make up for her lack of braincells with an unbuttoned shirt and short skirts. But I am sure he is too smart to fall for someone like her. He deserves much better than that.”, she snorted.

“I would never sleep with my boss, just to get a promotion. I will do it the right way and work for my promotion, don’t you agree?”

I flushed in embarrassment but nodded quickly.

“Absolutely.”, I agreed but instantly felt guilty.

I wasn’t sleeping with Damien and the last reason for me to do so, would be to get a promotion but she wasn’t wrong.

Our relationship was in all sorts of ways inappropriate, even though you could hardly call it a relationship as we weren’t dating and had only kissed once.

A simple kiss could hardly mean anything to someone like Damien, but it had meant a lot to me, and it still did.

How would Emma react if she knew I had a son with our boss? I forced myself to smile but I still felt bad for lying to her.

She was such a great friend, and we were even planning to go get some coffee this weekend.

“Are you okay? Your face looks so red. Are you allergic to nuts? They always put almonds in everything here. Do you need some water?”, she asked worried and offered me her water bottle, but I shook my head.

“No, no I am okay. It is just really warm in here.”, I lied again, and I had to think back to what Damien had said to me at his parent’s apartment. That I was a liar, and even though I wished he weren’t, he had been right. But what else was I supposed to do?

I couldn’t tell her the truth.

Emma looked confused for a second as we were sitting directly under a fan and it was cold and rainy outside, but then she knitted her eyebrows in concern.

“Maybe you are sick. Do you have a fever?”

I shook my head again and finished the rest of my lasagna.

“No, I am fine, really. I just need some fresh air. Do you want to go back?”

After a few seconds, her usual cheerful smile returned and after she had finished her food and we paid, she started gossiping again while we left the restaurant, this time about her nasty landlord, and I sighed in relief.

But maybe I would slip up again soon, and then I wouldn’t be able to lie to her again.

I pushed my worries aside the way I had done it with so many other things, and the rest of the way back to work, I tried to avoid anything that had to do with my private life, and therefore with Damien, Charlie, as well as Malcolm because just 2 days ago I had received a phone call from the police in Pittsburgh.

They had found his truck dumped near the interstate and his apartment was cleared, as well as his vault, which I knew for a fact, he had always kept in a lot of cash in.

Apparently none of his friends knew where he was and there were traces leading to Indiana but from thereon, there was nothing.

But he didn’t need to be here to scare me, he was already haunting me in my sleep. There had barely been a night without me having a nightmare because of him.

When I sat back at my desk in my office, there was barely any work left for me to do so I started to look through some files on the new project that came in today.

It was boring but at least it kept me from thinking too much. I was about to pack my stuff when my phone vibrated.

My heart started beating faster but when I pulled my phone out of my pocket the text wasn’t from Damien, like I had hoped, but from Clary asking how the hospital appointment yesterday had gone.

The rest of the week went by pretty quickly after I started to acknowledge that Damien apparently had no interest in talking to me.

I could have texted him myself, but I didn’t want him to think that I was clingy and somehow it would have hurt my ego to run after him after everything.

It was Friday when I finally received any kind of sign of life from Damien. He was still at a meeting, so he sent his driver to pick Charlie up, but to my surprise, he had the order to bring both of us to his apartment, where he would meet us.

I hesitated for a second before I agreed on coming but while Charlie got excited, I got mad.

He hadn’t called or texted me the entire week and now, instead of asking me to come over himself, he just sent his driver to deliver the message.

When we arrived at his apartment a concierge was already waiting for us, with the task to take us upstairs.

I had only been here once, and that was 5 years ago, but I remembered entering the elevator directly from the underground parking garage.

The entrance hall was beautiful with tall ceilings and the modern architecture, but we didn’t have time to look around.

Damien was already waiting for us, casually leaning against a wall.

Charlie instantly went to greet him. Damien lifted him up and spun him around with a grin while Charlie squeaked with pleasure.

I simply stood rooted to the spot with my arms crossed.

Damien grinned into my direction but when he saw my face expression his smile faded. He let Charlie back down to the floor.

“Hey buddy, I got something for you, do you want to go and check it out? It is in your new room.”

Charlie nodded excited and ran through the hallway into the back of the apartment.

Damien turned into my direction.

“What is it? Do you want a present too, Princess?”, he teased me, and I snorted.

“Stop acting like you don’t know why I am mad! You don’t call or text me the entire week and then you suddenly send your chauffeur to pick me up. And you didn’t ask me whether I wanted to come, you just gave the orders for me to come. I might work for you, but this has nothing to do with that! You can’t treat me like any other employee. Don’t you think that I would have liked to talk to you after everything that happened?” … between us?, I added silently in my head and Damien stepped closer, brushing his hair back.

“You are right.”, he admitted.

I raised an eyebrow. I hadn’t expected him to give in this easily.

“But work was just so busy and there were a few… other things that needed to be taken care of. And 2 days ago, Graham went missing again.”

I felt my face paling.

“What? I… I had no idea”

I noticed that the circles under his eyes were even darker than the last time. I grabbed his hand and for the first time, it was colder than my own.

“Our mother is going crazy again. Everyone is. I am sorry for not calling and just ordering you around like that. I just… I wanted to see you.”

His voice sounded low and tired, so different from how he spoken to Charlie a few seconds ago. I bit my lip but then I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around his torso. He didn’t say anything but just pulled me closer and I absorbed his infatuating scent.

“How long is he usually gone for?”, I asked hesitantly.

“Usually only a few hours but sometimes for a day or two. He always tries to talk himself out of it. He claims he was with friends or out running… We all know he is lying… I just wished he would talk to me. We used to be so close.”

I could hear the pain in his voice, and I could only understand him too well. I remembered Charlie’s first surgery.

Sitting there, not knowing what was going on, was pure torture, especially when you couldn’t do anything about it.

“He is going to be alright.”, I said, even though I knew there was no way I could be sure. Graham could be anywhere right now. Damien knew that just as well as I did but he didn’t try to contradict me.

He wanted to believe Graham was safe even more than I did.

When Charlie came back he something in his hand that I couldn’t quite make out until he stood right in front of us.

“What is that?”, he asked not very happily and held up a white shirt, a red sweater, and a tie.

The smile returned to Damien’s face. It was a tired smile, but at least it was honest.

“That is your new uniform. I thought that maybe after you get better again, you would like to go back to kindergarten. And St Lennox Kindergarten is the same place your aunt Clary, your uncle Graham, I, and even your grandfather went. What do you think?”

Charlie’s face lit up in excitement.

“I can go back to kindergarten? When? Can I go next week already?” He seemed so happy that even I forgot all my worries for a moment.

“Well, not next week, but maybe in 2 months. And before you go I can teach you how to fight because sometimes there are some really mean kids, and that way you can impress the girls.”, Damien smirked and I rammed my elbow into his side but he didn’t even flinch.

Charlie on the other hand seemed highly abuzz and drew himself up to his full height. Damien laughed but I put my hands on my hips.

Why was everything always about violence with men?

“That is not how you impress a girl, Charlie. You should always be a gentleman. Violence isn’t the key.”

Charlie didn’t seem to care and Damien just grinned.

“Believe me, buddy, true men need to be able to defend a girl. And it always works, you should ask your mom because that was how I impressed her.”

My face turned a deep red shade and I tried to hit Damien’s arm, but he stepped back laughing while Charlie looked at me, his eyes wide and curious.

“Really, mommy? What happened?”

I shushed him and he huffily crossed his arms.

“You did not impress by breaking Connor’s nose.”, I stated, and Damien shrugged.

“I told you that it wasn’t broken. But I could have broken it if I had wanted to though.”

That last detail seemed to be of great importance to him.

I rolled my eyes.

Charlie, who was still offended because he couldn’t join our conversation, changed the subject: “Do I really have to wear this ugly uniform?”

He stared at the clothes in his hands with a disgusted gaze.

“I am afraid yes. But don’t worry, you will still have a lot of fun and there are many ways to make the uniform more wearable.”

Charlie knitted his eyebrows. “How?”

“Well, my friends and I used to have mud fights and unfortunately that is so hard to wash out.”