Heyooo,

She had heated up some of the pizza in the oven and when it was ready she took it out and handed it to me on a big plate.

I hadn’t even realized how hungry I was until my tummy started rumbling.

At first I wanted to take smaller bites, in case my stomach wouldn’t appreciate the cheese and carbohydrates too much but as soon as I had the first slice of pizza in my hand I forgot all my worries.

This pizza was divine.

While I was busy chewing, Mrs Black told me a little bit more about her family and I found out that Damien was her oldest son with 27, Clary following at 25, so she was about a year older than I was and then Graham, who was 24, just like me.

I had just finished my fourth slice of the family-sized pizza when I heard the elevator doors open and a few seconds later Charlie stormed in, followed by Clary, Graham and Mr Black.

“Hey mommy!”, Charlie, who had his new teddy bear Oscar in his little blue backpack, ran into my arms and I hugged him.

“Hey honey, did you have fun at the park?”, I asked, and he grinned.

“It was so cool. There were so many squirrels and I got so close to one of them.”

He showed me the distance with his hands.

“And then we went and got ice cream. With sprinkles!”, he told me excited and I caressed his cheek that was flushed from the cold wind.

“I am glad you enjoyed it. Next time I will come with you.”, I promised, and he nodded.

“I can show you everything then. There was even a lake!”

I helped him to climb up on to the chair next to me and took his backpack before setting it on the kitchen counter.

“Oh great. Pizza.”, Graham, who had come up behind me, said and grabbed a slice but Mrs Black slapped his hand away.

“That is not for you.”, she said and put her hands on her hips. Graham shrugged and took a bite of the slice in is hand.

“Sorry.”, he said while chewing, even though I wasn’t sure he meant it.

Mrs Black opened her mouth again by I interfered and said quickly: “I was done anyway. It was really good though, thank you.”

Mrs Black didn’t seem convinced.

“Are you sure?”, she responded worried and I nodded.

“No, really, I am full.”, I assured her again, when she pulled her eyebrows together, and she sighed.

“Okay, fine, but if you need anything, just let me know or help yourself. And if you need any pain medications just ask.”, she said smiling again and I nodded.

“Absolutely. Thank you.”

A couple of hours later I was sitting, wrapped in a blanket, next to Clary on a couch on the terrace, overlooking the Central park.

It was past 9 and Charlie was asleep already, Graham had gone out with friends, Mr and Mrs Black went upstairs to read a little and Damien still hadn’t returned, and I was thankful for having to face him so soon.

I was just so torn. On the one hand he had been so worried about me but now he was acting like an asshole again. It was maddening.

. “It’s beautiful.”, I said awestruck and Clary, or Clarissa, how I had found out, giggled. “I know and I can tell you it never stops to amaze me. I love coming up here. It feels like you’re on the top of the world.”, she enthused, and I nodded in agreement, unable to look away from the dense roof the tree crowns were forming.

And not even the traffic was as loud up here.

Everything was so far away. I felt a cold breeze cooling my skin and closed my eyes for a few seconds. None of us said anything for a while but then Clary started talking again.

“I think my parents really like you, you know? And Charlie is just too adorable. He looks exactly like Damien when he was younger.”

I flushed, not knowing what to say.

“I think my mom is already planning your wedding.”, she giggled, and I stared at her.

“What?”, I asked dumbfounded.

“She has been waiting to plan one for years and you and Damien are an adorable couple.”

She looked like she was actually being serious. I didn’t know what to do, so I just laughed while she crossed her arms, raising an eyebrow.

“You cannot tell me that there isn’t going anything on between you two. I mean, he got you pregnant in case you don’t remember.”

I flushed, hard, but I turned away so she wouldn’t see it. She didn’t need to know about the butterflies in my tummy whenever I saw his smile or felt his touch.

But it didn’t matter now. It was over.

He had made that pretty clear.

“Damien and me? No way. Believe, that night I was wasted -and heart-broken-, I might add. And it was also almost 5 years ago. He is Charlie’s father, but I don’t even think he likes me. And I can’t figure him out. One minute he is so sweet and kind, and the next he is so… arrogant.”, I replied and this time it was me who crossed her arms.

I probably didn’t sound very convincing because Clary laughed.

“Yeah, he can be like that sometimes. He’s had it rough in the last couple of years and there are things even I don’t know about him. But no matter what you say, he definitely still has a thing for you. He was so freaked out when he called to tell us what happened with you ex… -I am his sister, believe me, I know. And that is why I don’t understand why he doesn’t break up with Talia.”

She rolled her eyes and even though I shouldn’t have been surprised or hurt by that I felt a little stab in my heart.

“He has a girlfriend?”, I asked, and my voice sounded a little croaky. Clary rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, Talia Russo. But you are a lot more fun than her. She is such a stupid- Never mind. I just can’t stand her”

I saw her clenching teeth and suddenly I remembered what Celia had told me a week ago. I knew that I had heard that name before!

“Isn’t her dad like in the Mafia?”, I asked shocked before I could stop myself. Clary froze and turned around.

“What?”, she asked and then she started laughing. I flushed again and was thankful for the cold air cooling my skin.

“My best friend told me some rumors about her. She read it somewhere.”, I defended myself but couldn’t help but feeling something was off about Clary’s laugh, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.

“There are a bunch of rumors about her family and ours too, but most of them aren’t true. A lot of people just try to hurt our families and destroy our reputations.

You don’t even want to know what people have written about us already, believe me. We try to keep away from public attention and try to avoid scandals but exactly that is used against us. Some people think it is suspicious that we live such a private life.”

She gave me a sad smile, but then she grinned again.

“But you know what? I bet that Damien and she are going to break up by next month now that you are here.”, she changed the topic again and by now, my face was probably the color of a tomato.

“No, really. That isn’t going to happen. Ever. He can’t stand me; you didn’t see how he treated me in the last couple of days. He has these mood swings. Whenever I feel like we are actually getting closer, he gets so distant and starts ignoring me again.

I just don’t get it. But all of that doesn’t matter because he literally told me to stay away from him. And from everyone he is close to, which would include you as well.”

I tried to grin to make it sound like a bad joke. I kept telling myself that Damien’s behavior didn’t affect or hurt me, but she could probably still hear the hurt and bitterness in my voice because she grabbed my hand.

“I will talk to him. But this is really hard on him, and not just the thing with Charlie. He had had it rough for a while and that he is very dismissive sometimes does not mean anything. He doesn’t even talk to me about everything.”

Clary tried to comfort me, but I shook my head again.

“I wouldn’t mind if he were just dismissive. And if he chose to exclude me from his life I could understand that, but I don’t understand why he is so sweet and then the next second he gets a phone call and ignores me… But I don’t know, maybe I am just not a very likable person.”, I joked, and Clary lightly slapped my arm.

“You are a very likable person. And I will definitely not stop talking to you because my brother doesn’t want you here. Were you really planning on just doing what he told you?”, she asked with her hands on her hips and I shrugged.

Actually, I had been.

“Well, forget about that. We will make Damien see what he is missing out on. And then he is going to break up with Talia and he will beg you to stay.”, she claimed, and I giggled, but she didn’t seem to think it was as funny as I.

“You are kidding, right? I don’t want to be with Damien, and he doesn’t even like me! Have you not listened to anything I have just told you?”

“He does like you. Maybe he just hasn’t realized it yet.”, she disagreed, and I sighed.

“You are crazy.”, I stated and leaned back into the stack of pillows.

“Maybe. But I am not blind. Also, Damien can’t control neither your life, nor mine. He can’t make you stay away from us and I like you. We can be friends, at least if you wanted to of course.”

Her blue eyes that were so similar to those of his brother, glistened in the dark, and when I nodded in agreement her smile widened and revealed some perfectly white, straight teeth.

She was right, I couldn’t let Damien keep me from being friends with his sister and I wouldn’t let my past haunt me.

It was time for a fresh beginning and what place would be better for this, than New York City? In only a few weeks Charlie would be ready for his final surgery and after that we could have a normal life, without cancer and without Malcolm.

“Okay, but only if you promise that you will not try to matchmake Damien and me.” She giggled and then shrugged.

“Fine. If you guys don’t want my help… But I swear, he is so going to break up with Talia.”