We stayed in Pittsburgh for 3 more days.

Celia had packed a duffle bag full of clothes and other necessities for me and Charlie, that was now standing on the empty bed beside mine. Unfortunately for me, Damien had talked to my doctor about my dizziness so that I had to stay here for another 2 nights, but I highly doubted that he did it because he was worried.

Today was Friday and our plane would leave in about three hours. Charlie was sitting on my bed, trying to tie his shoes on his own but he was so nervous because of his first flight that he couldn’t seem to keep still enough.

“Come on, let me do it.”, I said and tied his shoes for him. Celia and Derek couldn’t transfer until next month so we would be going without them for now, but they were currently on their way to the hospital to say goodbye, at least for a few weeks.

They had been visiting both me and Charlie every single day whenever they got off work.

Damien had been sleeping in Charlie’s room, like I had always done, to be able to spend more time with him before he had to start working again.

He and Charlie were getting along great and I didn’t know whether I was supposed to be happy about it or not.

Of course, I wanted the best for Charlie and no matter what was going on between Damien and me- nobody could deny that he was a great father even though he had little experience with children.

But on the other hand, I was afraid of losing Charlie.

It had always just been the two of us. And my parents, Celia, and Derek of course but now Damien was here, and he could give him all the things that I couldn’t.

I knew it was stupid and silly, but I just couldn’t help it, especially because ever since Damien and I had almost kissed that night, he had been so cold and dismissive in my presence again and it hurt me more than I was willing to admit, even to my best friend Celia.

We were going to leave in a couple of minutes, and I put on my dark blue coat and tied it at the front.

My dizziness was almost completely gone and the medications that I was taking made the pain bearable. The bandage around my head was gone as well because I had insisted on it, and this morning I had finally washed my hair to remove all the dirt and dried blood in it. My scalp still hurt, but due to the stiches it wasn’t bleeding anymore. The pressure and ringing in my ears were fading but I still had a headache from time to time, especially when I moved a lot or thought too hard about something, which I did a lot.

My face wasn’t as swollen anymore but my eye was still colored in a deep blue-greenish tone and I didn’t even try to put makeup over it. I wasn’t as pale anymore either and breathing didn’t hurt as bad anymore even though I still couldn’t really bend down or turn, and I had to sleep on my back because sleeping on my sides hurt way too much. Also, my whole body, especially my neck, was stiff from not being able to move properly ad spending all day lying in bed, and even thinking about the cramped little seats in the planes I usually flew with, made me feel sick again.

It would only be a one-and-a-half-hour-flight but even though I didn’t have to stay in the hospital anymore, getting on a plane wasn’t the first thing you should do, especially not with a bad concussion.

I checked my reflection in the mirror and even though I knew I looked a lot better than a couple of days ago, I was still worried about the looks other people would shoot me. I had never been the kind of girl that liked to be in the center of attention.

I tried to smile, but it didn’t reach my eyes and my lips were brittle and had lost their rosy color.

I was nervous. Damien had told me that we would be visiting his parents and the rest of his family as soon as we landed so they could meet Charlie. And me.

We had also agreed that Charlie would be spending Monday through Friday with me because he would be busy with work anyway and the weekends with him and his family, as long as he didn’t have to stay at the hospital of course.

His next chemotherapy session was scheduled for Sunday and his second, and hopefully last, surgery would be coming up soon, maybe in less than two months.

And if Malcolm finally went to prison, or at least a psychiatric clinic, for what he did, then maybe everything would be okay again, or at least that was, what I told myself.

Talking to the police hadn’t taken very long but they asked me a lot of stupid questions about me, Malcolm, Charlie and even Damien.

I had given them Malcolm’s name, address, the names of all his friends and family and a description of his truck.

They had me told there was a good chance of finding him before he could come back and hurt me or anyone else again and for the first time I had been actually relieved that we would be going back to New York because there was no way Malcolm could know that we would be going there.

I didn’t have any more time to worry because the door opened, and Celia and Derek opened the door. When she saw us, Celia exhaled relieved.

“Good, I thought you might be gone already. Sorry we are late. Derek was driving way too slow.”, she complained and rolled her eyes dramatically while she came up to me and hugged me carefully, trying not to hurt me.

“I will miss you.”, she whined, and I hugged her tighter even though I was crushing my ribs. “I will miss you too!”, I responded, and my eyes started burning with tears that I tried to blink back. Derek harrumphed behind us.

“You guys know that you will see each other again in like 3 weeks, right?”, he asked amused, his eyebrows raised. Celia snorted: “So what?” and I laughed, letting her go. “He is right. I will be fine.”

Reluctantly Celia let go off me.

“If Damien should pull anything weird off, kick his ass. Promise?”, she asked, and I nodded, and now I was the one rolling my eyes.

“Sure.”

After Charlie and I had said goodbye to Derek as well, Damien finally showed up and Celia and Derek left because they still had work to finish off at home.

Charlie jumped from the bed and hugged Damien’s leg and Damien chuckled. His laugh was still just as beautiful as the first time I had heard it.

I turned away. This was stupid. It was stupid that I still reacted to him this way even though he had been treating me so cold the last few days.

I grabbed the duffle bag and my purse, then I started moving.

“You guys ready to go?”, I asked, and Charlie nodded excited.

Due to some complications with how he responded to certain medications, he had had to spend the last 2 weeks in the hospital but now he was feeling fine and he couldn’t wait to get out. I had already checked both of us out about 20 minutes ago, despite the fact that my doctor had told me to rather wait a couple of days to fly, if not a week, but either way we were free to leave now.

I walked past them, but Damien grabbed my shoulder and I stopped.

“What?”, I asked, a little grumpier and harsher than I had intended. Usually I wasn’t a moody person but the way he treated me had been really stretching my limit of patience. I mean of course he still had the right to be mad at me, but his sudden mood changes were starting to push me over the edge.

I knew that what I had done was wrong, but I had been so honest with him and I had told about Malcolm, my parents and even my sister. We had almost kissed!

And now he was speaking to me like he was disgusted by me. Maybe he was though. Maybe playing with my feelings was some sort of revenge.

This thought had occurred to me more than once and it was part of the reason why I hadn’t gotten a good night of sleep during the past days.

“Let me carry that.”, he said in a cool tone and took the duffle bag from my hand without waiting for a response and I really wanted to slap him but instead I forced myself to smile and took Charlie’s hand while we followed Damien through the door.

It was about a 45 minute drive to the airport and when we arrived and the driver slowed down the car, I squeezed Charlie’s hand.

“Are you nervous?”, I asked, and Charlie nodded.

“A little, mommy. But do you think I can sit at the window? Bryson told me that the planes can go higher than the clouds. Do you think we can open the windows?”, he asked excited and I laughed a little and my ribs started hurting again. I took a deep breath.

“No, honey, I am afraid we cannot open the windows. But you can still look out.”, I answered, and he chewed on his lip.

“Okay, that is fine too.” Doctor Thomas had given him his consent to fly. He said that there was a slim chance that maybe he would get a headache but otherwise there were no risks. Me on the other hand, he tried to convince to stay in bed for at least another week but clearly I wasn’t following his advice.

I just told myself that I would rest as soon as we got to New York. I hadn’t told anyone about what he and my doctor had told me because Celia and Derek would have probably tried to convince me to stay.

When it came to Damien I wasn’t sure what he would have done but he probably wouldn’t have even cared. Or maybe he would have left Pittsburgh without me and there was no way I was just going to let him take Charlie.

We made to the airport and through check-in and security in a minimum time and when we arrived at the waiting area we still had about an hour left. Charlie fell asleep on the seat next to me, his head resting on Damien’s shoulder.

Due to all the excitement he hadn’t been sleeping a lot during the past days and now he was exhausted.

I sat to Charlie’s right and was on my phone, trying to look like I was actually doing something important, but in reality I was deleting all the letters of refusal on my email account, at least the ones Celia hadn’t taken care of yet.

After that I texted Celia but when she didn’t answer I sighed a little and checked the time. We had about 20 minutes left to wait and because I couldn’t take the icy atmosphere any longer I got up.

“I am going to get something to drink, do you want something?”, I asked as politely as I could in Damien’s direction, and he gave me a short nod, not looking up from his phone though, like I was just an assistant that he could push around at a whim.

“Coffee. Black.”, he said and then he added: “No milk, no sugar.”, as if he thought I didn’t know what a black coffee was.

I rolled my eyes and wanted to leave but then he took out his wallet and handed me a fifty-dollar bill. I ignored him.

“I got it.”, I hissed and turned around, seething with anger. Just because I wasn’t able to cover all the costs of Charlie’s chemotherapy and his next surgery, didn’t mean, that I couldn’t afford a damn coffee.

Maybe he would be paying for Charlie’s hospital bills and maybe I would have to accept the apartment to be closer to the hospital, but I would not be taking money from him.

Not now or ever.

I was so lost in my own thoughts that I didn’t even notice the weird looks some people casted me that went from disgusted to pitiful to shocked, until it was finally my turn to order. I was already ready to order when the waiter looked up from the screen and gasped a little.

“Are you okay?”, he asked, and I frowned suddenly remembering that I looked like some truck had ran me over.

“Yeah. I am okay. Can I order now, please?”, I said annoyed and was immediately sorry for being so rude. This wasn’t like me. I was not somebody who took their anger out on others. I gave him a forced smile.

“Sorry, today is just not my day.”, I apologized, and he shrugged.

“Yeah I think everyone can see that.”, he said pitifully, and I forced myself to relax a little while he finally took my order.

On my way back I looked at the floor and walked so fast that I bumped into a few people, but I went on without apologizing because I was too busy being mad at Damien, the world, and especially, myself.

When I got back handed Damien his coffee without a word and sat down while I took a look at the clock hanging on the wall. 10 minutes till boarding.

Fortunately, we were the first to board and Damien handed me my ticket. First class, it said in black, thick letters on the top and right below that, Seat: 3B. I raised an eyebrow.

“Only first Class? I thought you would be the kind of guy who would only travel with his own private jet?”, I asked ironically and I could have sworn I saw the left corner of his mouth rise but he turned to pick up Charlie, before I could be sure.

“Unfortunately, our company is known for its very environmentally friendly ways. Private jets would contradict with our company’s principles and resolutions. In other words, it would hurt our image.”, he explained condescendingly, like he was talking to a little child and

I foamed with rage, but I grabbed my purse and stormed to the gate to keep myself from doing or saying something I would regret later.

I handed the stewardess my ticket and ignored her shocked face when she saw by bruised eye and cheek. I waited for her to let me through and hand me my ticket back, then I entered the long tube-like tunnel that lead to the inner part of the plane.

I had never even seen the first class area of a plane and if I hadn’t been so mad I would have been excited. The stewardess that welcomed be in the plane did a better job at hiding her shock when she saw my face and smilingly, she showed me my seat.