Lissa: Wanna meet up tonight? I can come over? ;)

Barron chucked his phone on his bedside table after reading that message. The initial surge he felt that maybe, just maybe, Eden had unblocked him and reached out faded into disappointment.

And regret.

Boy, did he have a lot of that.

Regret for letting Simon, the cousin he had idolized, talk him into hanging out with Brad all summer instead of his own friends. Friends that he had been tight with since Middle School. Regret for feeling pressured by his cousin to let Lissa come on meet ups with him and Maria. Regret that he let Lissa flirt with him when he knew - when everyone knew - that he had a longtime girlfriend whom he loved. And still loved.

Regret that he felt tempted by Lissa, letting her get in his ear about how highschool love didn't last. How he needed to have experience. How he was missing out on a sample of girls. Regret for not pushing her away when she kissed him.

Regret. Regret. Regret.

Such a small word, with a big emotional impact.

He reached over and opened his bedside drawer, pulling out the silver photo frame that he had stuffed there in guilt when he first brought Lissa to his room.

Out of sight, out of mind. Or so he thought.

He lovingly traced the photo inside the heavy frame. It was taken at his house by his pool. At the very pool he had been caught by his girlfriend of three years with another girl. He had on sunglasses to protect his eyes against the glare of the sun. Eden had looked smoking hot in her red string bikini and he remembered tugging her against his chest, wrapping an arm around her shoulder; holding his camera phone out to take a selfie. Their faces were beaming. Eden had loved the photo and promptly printed two out, having them framed. One for him and one for her. He had faithfully kept it on his bedside table.

Until he didn't.

He wondered what she had done with hers. He wouldn't blame her if she had thrown it out in anger. It was what he deserved and more.

He didn't have sex with Lissa that day. He stupidly, in his immature mind, thought 'hey, if we're not having sex, it's not full blown cheating.'

Like he said, stupid.

Instead, he and Lissa had made out on the very same bed he had lost his virginity to Eden on. The guilt was too much for him, especially since he had been declining Eden's calls while she was away in favor of hanging out with Lissa. So, in a rare moment of clarity, he had pulled away and instead suggested they go downstairs and watch a movie.

Unfortunately, that was the moment his Mom had walked up the stairs, home early from work, and spotted them exiting his room. It was then that he had told his first major lie to his Mom.

He saw how she had jerked in shock, obviously coming to the correct conclusion that he was messing around on Eden. Eden who was like a daughter to her.

He couldn't bear the disappointment on her face so he had pulled his Mom aside and made up a story about how he and Eden had split before she went away to Florida. He explained that they had wanted to keep it a secret until she was back and they could tell their parents in person.

He wasn't sure if his Mom believed him but she nevertheless took his word for it, making herself scarce with a disappointed shake of her head. After that, he never invited Lissa back to his house on her own; only with a group of people.

So he carried on the rest of the summer that Eden was gone. Acting single and ignoring Sofia and his friend's shocked stares and glares whenever he crossed paths by them. Simon had rolled his eyes at them and informed Barron that he was better off without them. That Brad and his crew was more to his style. Even though he couldn't stand them. He let popularity and Lissa screw with his head and in it he had lost the best thing that had ever happened to him.

The day that Eden had caught him with Lissa was hands down the worst day of his life. When he had turned his head and saw Eden's shocked and hurt stare it was like a bucket of ice cold water had been thrown over him.

He had it in his head that when she returned he would sit and talk with her. Tell her that he loved her but that he wanted to be free for a while, date other people and have new experiences.

Seeing Eden, knowing what she walked in on and realizing that he didn't want to be free of her, had muddled his thoughts. He could feel her slipping away but he had prepared his break up speech in his head for so long that he had half said it, half took it back. He was a stuttering mess, his head not knowing what he wanted until she had slammed his front door.

His Mom had been waiting at the kitchen for him, anger and disappointment radiating through her.

"Get everyone out of here." She had steely told him. Her voice held barely controlled rage.

He didn't need to be told twice. Even if his Mom hadn't been there he would've kicked them out. The damage had been done and he was in no mood to party. His Mom had given him a verbal lashing, tears of fury making him tear up, too. Not because his Mom was yelling at him. But because he couldn't shake the look of hurt and pain on Eden's face. He could still see it when he closed his eyes at night.

He had tried to reach out to Eden a couple of days later but his calls and texts had gone unanswered before he realized that she had blocked him. He didn't know what he was going to say. Apologize. Explain. Get down on bended knee and beg forgiveness.

When it was clear that she wanted nothing to do with him, he thought "fuck it." He carried on casually seeing Lissa and hanging out with Brad. There was no going back to his old friends since he had pretended that they didn't exist all summer. He had well and truly burned that bridge.

Seeing Eden around school, watching her dejected demeanor; her embarrassment at the whispered stares from people. He felt ashamed. He willed her to look at him, so that he could convey every emotion he felt towards her in one look. They used to be able to communicate everything through a single glance. But she refused to even raise her eyes in his direction.

And the one time she did, Lissa had pulled him aside when he had been walking past on his way to class, her hand gripping his as she casually told him that she'd walk with him since they were going in the same direction. Eden had seen them and assumed they were lovingly holding hands in the hallway when nothing could be further from the truth. But of course, she wouldn't believe a word out of his mouth. Not that he could blame her.

He had tried one more time to get through to her. He had seen her alone in the library after school and cautiously approached her, praying that the public space would make her stop and listen. He had underestimated how angry she still was. Not that he could blame her, of course. But seeing her spit fire at him, he felt all hope slip away. He had never seen her so mad. There was truly no coming back from the dumpster fire decisions he had made.

So he had let her go. Always watching and hoping for a sign that she had softened towards him but he decided not to invade her space again. It was clearly adding to the hurt and the last thing he had wanted to do was cause her more pain.

He had continued half heartedly and casually seeing Lissa, letting her flirt and reciprocating her kisses. He was trying to force himself to move on, to try and get over Eden. Was it hypocritical of him to hope that she never got over him? The thought of her kissing another guy - and more - had him seeing red, even though he deserved it.

"Oh, my God! You're kidding!"

His Mom's screech pulled him out from his thoughts. He frowned in concentration as her voice floated from his parents room down the hall. He carefully put the picture frame back into his draw and padded towards his open door.

"So wait, this is a legit agent?" he heard her ask. Who was she talking to?

"That's a huge agency, even I've heard of them. Oh my goodness I was always telling Eden that she should model. She hides behind her hair but her cheekbones are gorgeous and those pouty lips..!"

His heart leapt at the mention of Eden. Agency? Model? What on earth was going on?

"I'm coming over, I wanna see her portfolio." Her Mom did a high pitched squeal. "Okay, bye!"

Barron quickly ducked back into his room just as his parent's bedroom door opened. He hid behind his door until he heard his Mom's footsteps hurry past and down the stairs.

He wanted desperately to ask her what her conversation meant. It was obvious that she was talking to Susan, Eden's Mom.

Model? Agency? Portfolio?

He frowned, trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together. He couldn't reach out to his Mom for clarity, unfortunately. The one time he had asked her if she had news about Eden, she had pinned him with a look meant to strip paint and cooly informed him that out of respect to Eden and Susan she would not be disclosing any information regarding the condition of Eden.

"If you really care to know how she is, then you work to get back into her good graces and ask her yourself." she had told him. Even his Dad had shook his head in disappointment in the background.

Yeah, his parents, although always supportive of him, had a hard time letting go of what he had done to Eden. So out of respect for Eden he refrained from asking them about her. But that didn't stop his ears from perking up at the slightest mention of her.

He sighed before collapsing back on his bed, his hands behind his head as he stared up at the stark white ceiling. Whatever was going on with Eden it sounded big.

Winter break, Christmas and New Year came and went. Senior year was flying by and he and Eden were now eighteen.

It took everything in him not to stop by her house for her birthday. They had always spent them together; so when he woke up the morning of his eighteenth, it was with a deep sense of melancholy. He didn't want to get out of bed, he didn't want to see his family or friends. All he wanted was a birthday kiss from Eden and the customary cake that she had always baked for him.

He could hear his phone blowing up but if they weren't from Eden then he didn't want to know. With the comforter pulled over his head, he seriously thought about staying in bed until the day passed.

He wondered what Eden had done for her birthday. He knew that she had been in New York for it due to his many eavesdropping moments. He swore his Mom spoke loudly just so he could hear what a doofus he was for letting her go.

Eden apparently had been going there a lot and had deduced that she had gotten some sort of modeling contract. But what kind of modeling contract had her going to New York so often? He knew that Lissa modeled and had seen her picture in the local catalogs. But her modeling gigs were local and she had never spoken about going to New York for it. He was really out of his depth when it came to stuff like that.

He remembered his Mom's phone conversation where she had exclaimed that Eden should model. He agreed. Eden was beautiful. She had cornflower blue eyes and light brown hair - hair she always described as mousy. But when the sun hit it, an array of gold and red shone through. He was constantly picking up strands and rubbing his fingers through its silky soft texture. She had full, plump lips and a square face which set off her high cheekbones. She was 5'9 and constantly complained that she was tall, skinny and lanky but he loved her long legs, especially when they were wrapped around his waist.

A smack to his arm brought him out of his daydream.

"Dude, you're staring at her again."

Barron came to when Ivan, one of the guys on the football team, leaned close and murmured that to him. He turned back towards the direction he was unknowingly focused on. Unsurprisingly it was the section that Eden, Sofia and their friends sat at the cafeteria. He wasn't staring at her per se, but his head naturally swerved in that direction without thinking.

Barron shrugged, uncaring, before taking a swig of his soda. He covertly glanced up again towards them. Seeing Eden sitting there again was a sight he was getting used to. After their break up - or rather, his epic fuck up - she had stopped sitting in the cafeteria during their lunch breaks. He had a sneaky suspicion that it had to do with the fact that Lissa liked to flaunt him in her face. Not that he was blaming her. He didn't necessarily shove her off every time, especially after Eden made it clear that she wanted no part in being with him again.

He watched as her face broke out in laughter at their friend's - her friend now, not his anymore - antics. Ryan was openly gay and Barron watched in bemusement as the confident teen flamboyantly strutted like a model would around their table, stopping near Eden and striking some sort of pose. Their table erupted in laughter as Eden clapped and high fived him. A smile flitted across his lips at the show.

Eden looked different. The same, but different. Her body looked longer and leaner and since he was into fitness being an athlete, he could tell that she was working out. But not to lose weight - it looked like her body was toned. Her hair was up in a high ponytail, showing off her beautiful features. She usually kept her hair down as she had told him that she felt comfortable hiding her insecurities that way. Whatever that meant. She was beautiful to him, hair up or down. But with her hair away from her face, he could see the long swan-like curve of her neck, wisps of hair falling against the beautiful slope. A neck he would love to bury his lips against once more.

As he stared at her unashamedly, he saw that that haunted, pale look she constantly wore after summer was gone. She held her head up, her features looked fresh and she had a bit of colour in her face again. She looked just like the same Eden he knew and loved, but something was different.

As he watched his former friends stare intently at her while she animatedly relayed something to them, breaking out into a shy smile or giggle when their friends replied, he realized what that something different was.

Confidence.

And, he sadly realized, that probably meant that she was truly starting to get over him, if she wasn't already.

As the end of the school year drew closer, a sense of panic had rested deep within him. After they graduated he had no idea what Eden's plans were. He continued to respect her privacy by not enquiring after her with his parents so he was clueless as to where she was going. Was she staying in New Haven? Was she taking time off? Was she traveling? The not knowing was driving him crazy.

But then, one cool Spring day, he got his answer.

"What a slut, she's practically naked! I would never do anything like this, it's so skanky!"

Lissa's annoyingly shrill voice rang out across from him as he sat down at their table. He had glanced quickly towards the rear of the room and swallowed his disappointment that Eden was not at her usual table. Again.

"What's going on?" he asked as he opened a packet of chips.

Lissa glanced up at him, her blue eyes squinting in barely controlled rage.

"Has your precious Eden told you what she's been up to in New York?" she sneered.

He jerked his head back? What the hell?

"Eden? Why are you talking about her?"

"Bro, you haven't seen?" Brad asked, disbelievingly.

"Seen what?" He glanced at the phone that Lissa was holding which had caused her such anger. "What happened?" He gestured towards it.

She rolled her eyes and thrusted her jewel encrusted phone towards him. "See for yourself," she scoffed. "Little Miss innocent is not so angelic after all."

His expression marred in confusion he stared down at the image on his phone. He jerked his head back in shock, trying to decipher what he was seeing.

It was an ad for jeans, that much he could tell. A well known brand's name lay across the top of the spread.

But that's not what caught his eye.

It was the couple posing in said jeans - both topless. It was a black and white shot taken from above. The male was staring, unsmiling at the camera, his eyes smoldering, while lying on his back.

The female model was lying face up with her head on his washboard abs, also staring sexily and intensely up at the camera, her legs stretched out. The male model's arm was curved around the female model's chest, his forearm covering what was clearly bare breasts. One of her hands was clasping his arm against her chest while the other had a finger pressed to her slightly open mouth.

Her full, plump mouth.

A mouth he had kissed a thousand times since he had first kissed them behind a pink coloured curtain at Brad's birthday party over three years ago.

As he continued to stare in shock at the phone, a red haze fell over him and a deep searing jealousy bubbled to the surface. His windpipe felt crushed, making it hard for him to draw a breath. Jesus, if this is what he felt by looking at this clearly posed picture, he couldn't even think about what it would've felt like for Eden to have seen him with Lissa.

"What the fuck?" He whispered as his mind tried to compute what he was seeing. Levin's was a well known and expensive denim brand. This was clearly more than the catalog modeling that Lissa did.

"Have you seen her instagram?" Brad asked

Wordlessly, for he was still in shock, he shook his head. He was still blocked on there last time he checked, which was last night.

"Here." Brad said as he shoved his own phone at him while Lissa snatched hers back. He stared down at the screen again which was pulled up to Eden's instagram page. A page which used to be private but now looked to be set public. There was also a blue check mark next to her name.

What. The. Fuck.

He clicked on the first square which showed a picture of Eden in Times Square, posing with Sofia, their arms around each other as they smiled widely at the camera. Behind her was a huge jumbo screen with the same advert that he had just seen.

There it was.

His beautiful ex girlfriend posing topless with some Brad Pitt lookalike. Except this time the picture was blown to one hundred. For the whole of New York city to see.

OMG crying right now (and cringing a little to see my face so big). My first major ad, thank you so much @levindenim and @angmodelagency

After that was a string of tags towards what looked like a makeup artist, a hair stylist and, he stared moodily, a tag towards the model in the pic.

Thank you @granthtuckermodel for making a gal feel comfortable ;)

He saw a snippet of a comment by fucking Grant: @edenrjamison I had so much fun! Catch up when you're in the city again <3

The rest of the comment was a thank you to her Mom and her bestie, Sofia, for supporting her during a rough year.

Yeah, that dig hurt.

But that explained all the frequent trips to NYC and why she was missing at school the past few weeks. Too busy posing topless with Grant H fucking Tucker - "Model."

He stared moodily down at the photo in his hand, a darkness overtaking his thoughts. One emotion punched him again and again.

Regret.