I don't know exactly how long I'd been there, but it felt like an eternity.

I had a general idea though. Every couple of days, Adam let me go downstairs to shower and stretch my legs. Not as often as I'd like, but it's better than what he'd been doing before.

Roughly, I must have only been there for about a month. As far as I knew, it was near the end of June.

Still... I couldn't believe I hadn't been found yet. It's like everyone had stopped trying.

I repeated my mantra every day still, though it seemed to lose its effectiveness over time. It was still keeping me sane, but I doubted that I'd ever leave.

Adam had created a ritual. He would come up a couple times each day and try something on me. If I pushed him off, he wouldn't give me food until I gave in.

I'm not an idiot. We took the same psychology class. I understood that he was conditioning me, but I couldn't figure out how to stop it. We didn't quite learn that part.

When Adam next came up to see me, I had zero desire to fight back.

He bent down and unchained my ankle before pulling me up. With his hand on my wrist, he walked down the stairs.

"Adam, where are we going?"

"My room. Want to watch a movie?"

"Uhh... Sure..."

I know he has to be messing with me. He held onto me gently, as if he knew I wouldn't fight him.

It almost made me want to test it. To push him and see how far I could. But honestly, would that be wise? If I take a step back every time he takes a step forward, we aren't going anywhere.

He led me into his room, then nudged me towards his bed. I sat myself down, scooting back until I touched the headboard. I snatched one of his pillows and pulled it and my legs against my chest. I welcomed any extra place where he couldn't touch me.

"Do you still like thrillers?"

I peered over my legs to see him kneeling before a pile of DVD cases as he stared back at me.

"Yeah, of course I do."

He nodded in confirmation and went back to the pile, cutting it in half. There wasn't much use in asking me. He knew that. Every time I used to come over and spend the night, we would stay up past midnight watching horror and thriller movies. We'd be too scared to go to sleep after that, and we'd watch the same six episodes of Animaniacs on DVD to help us fall asleep afterward.

It's so hard to believe that the kid from then is the same one who planned and executed my kidnapping.

"I'm going to go make popcorn, okay?"

He's up and out of the room before his words register. I just sit there. Sit there and watch the beginning trailers as I wait for him to come back.

...I don't know what I'm doing anymore. This can't be it for me.

But I can't think about that. I'm not alone. People are still looking for me.

My name is Raiden Loeffler. I'm sixteen years old. I have two parents who love me very much. Turner is searching for me. I will be found.

The trailers finished and the title screen went through a few loops before Adam came back. He pressed play, sat down next to me, and pulled a blanket over us both. With a bowl of popcorn in his lap, he settled in.

"I brought up pop cans too. Want one?"

"Yes, please."

He draped his arm behind me with the can in hand. The moment I took it from him, he lowered his hand and pulled me closer.

"I bought a whole set of these movies from the same director. They're supposed to be really good, apparently."

"Cool."

I leaned back into his chest, trying my absolute hardest to convince myself that this was normal. Just another normal sleepover with my best friend. I wasn't scared or worried. Well, except for the people on the screen. Because that's what my focus was. That's all I had to worry about.

We finished the whole bowl and both the cans in the first twenty minutes. With everything out of the way, Adam pulled the blanket tighter over us and turned out the lights, giving the movie an eerier vibe.

"Raiden?"

"Yeah?" He leaned back, giving me enough room to turn over to look at him.

"Are you okay? You're shaking."

"I'm just scared..."

"Babe..." He pulled me flat against his chest, interlaced our fingers, and crossed both arms across my torso. "It's okay. I'm here. It's only a movie."

My shoulders went rigid and dug into him. He shrugged it off, thinking it was still somehow related to the movie.

There was nothing I could do. Nothing I could say to somehow convince him that maybe—just maybe—what he was putting me through was wrong. He didn't understand and he wouldn't ever understand the fear, the helplessness, the feeling of loneliness while never being truly left alone. I used to consider this place my second home. But even the thought of calling it that after everything made me want to throw up.

I pushed the thoughts down. They weren't going to help me. I was too useless for my own good. I'd never get out by myself. Too weak. Too stupid. Too scared. The only way I'd ever be able to escape is if someone else did it for me.

And that day was coming. Soon. I believed that. I had to. There was nothing else to it. I had no proof, nothing to suggest it would happen, but I believed it. Oh, God, I believed it. It was my last hope and it had to come through for me.

I released a slow breath through my nose and relaxed my muscles as I leaned into him further. Waiting for my rescue would drive me insane. If I at least tried to pretend that I wanted to be there, then maybe waiting wouldn't be so hard.

~~~

I woke as a surge of music burst from the TV. My eyes snapped open immediately to the screen. The movie was over, the menu screen trailer playing on repeat at full blast, much louder than the movie had been.

As I stretched out, Adam's arms loosened from around my chest. Upon that realization, I slid them the rest of the way off of me, slipping myself out of his grip and onto the bed next to him. He didn't stir. He didn't pull his arms in. His breathing didn't hitch. He was in a deep sleep.

I inched off the bed and onto the floor, trying not to disturb either him or the bed. I couldn't blow it. I made it into the hallway without incident. Same to the stairs, down them, and through two rooms to the kitchen.

In the doorway, I stopped short. Mrs. McAllister looked up from her laptop and set down her cup.

"Is everything alright? Where's Adam at?"

I choked back the lump in my throat as my heart sank. "Uh... Yeah, it's fine. We fell asleep watching a movie. He's still in bed."

"Okay. Why are you still up, Hun? It's late."

"I was...looking for the Animaniacs DVD?"

"It should be in the den somewhere with the others." She gave me a smile and went back to her laptop, not questioning my motive for roaming the house. Like she trusted me.

I crossed the kitchen to the den and hurried to the nearest window. She was in the way of the front door. The back door led to the gated off backyard, locked up tight. It hadn't occurred to me at the time why it would be so secured. Windows were all I had left. I pulled up from the bottom of the frame, but it refused to budge. I ran my hands up around the edges until I found an electronic lock. I backed off and ran to the other window, but I knew it was futile before I reached it.

With nothing else I could do, I skimmed over the DVD titles until I found what I said I'd come in for. As I walked back in defeat, his mom called out to me.

"Did you find it?"

"Yes. Thank you."

"No problem, Sweetie. Good night. Sweet dreams."

No response. How would you even respond to that? Her words were oddly comforting in a way I wasn't comfortable with. I made my way back up to Adam's room, double checking every window on the way to no avail.

As I reentered, he finally started to stir. "Hey Rai... Where did you go?"

I held the case up instead of giving a verbal answer. I didn't know if I could talk and keep a straight face. He nodded his approval and laid his head back down on the pillow. I switched the movies and climbed back into the bed on the empty side, facing away. He scooted closer anyway, wrapped his arm around my waist, pulled me closer, and nuzzled his face into the back of my neck before settling down and falling back asleep.

I closed my eyes and curled my arms into my chest, trying to relax enough to get some sleep. I had to constantly remind myself to ignore my fear, to pretend that it was all normal. I wanted to be there. I was comfortable. I was safe.

I was going to tell myself anything to keep me sane while I waited to be saved.