— t w e n t y - s i x —

"You just killed me!"

Reed jabbed furiously at his controller, not even sparing him a single glance. "So?"

"I'm on your team!"

"Oops," Reed said, without even a hint of apology. He smirked as if he could sense the accusatory look Oliver was shooting him. "Don't get in the way of my gun next time, then."

Oliver kicked him in the foot and Reed kicked him back without even looking away from the screen. Oliver was tempted to shove him off his beanbag and kiss him stupid, as punishment of course, but that probably wouldn't be the wisest idea with Adam on the beanbag on Oliver's other side. Things seemed to have settled down into a familiar sense of routine now that both Adam and Reed were talking to him again. New Years had been a wild and somewhat traumatic experience; the three of them had gone into town for drinks with some other friends from school, which was as packed as Oliver had ever seen it. They spent far too long queuing to even get into a bar but everything was plain sailing once they were inside.

They got trashed on too many shots and all slept over at Adam's house, whose basement was large enough to hold them all. Oliver and Reed were drunk enough to risk sneaking into one of the bathrooms upstairs after everyone had fallen asleep to fool around. Oliver could only imagine how much of a heart attack either of Adam's parents would have if they knew what had occurred in that bathroom.

School had started up and with Clair out of the picture (who blatantly ignored all of them in school, and moved to sit on the opposite side of the classroom from Oliver in English), the three of them were hanging out far more than they had last term now that Adam's attention was no longer monopolised by his girlfriend. It meant hanging out after school was split between Adam and Oliver's houses now, more often Adam's because it just had more ways for them to entertain themselves. Reed's mother was home now but his house was still off-limits and none of them ever suggested it. Since the conversation in the park, Reed seemed much more willing to talk about his mum and Oliver was just relieved to know he would come to him if he needed to.

As for the intimate aspect their friendship has taken on, Oliver and Reed kept stealing any moment they could alone. They never spoke about making anything official or dating or even Reed's sexuality, forget telling anyone about the two of them, but none of that lessened the intensity of Oliver's feelings. If anything, they only grew stronger with each passing day, a bone deep certainty that this was what he wanted. Oliver had always known he needed Reed in his life, even if it was only as a friend. Now Oliver didn't think he could ever go back to anything less.

"Motherfucker!" Adam scowled in frustration as his avatar was riddled through with bullets and collapsed in a gory puddle of it's own blood. He turned his scowl on Reed at his loud snickers. For someone so calm and composed, nothing riled him up as much as a video game and it was almost as entertaining as the game itself. "Oh, go to hell. I hope you die a painful death."

"Reed or his avatar?" Oliver asked, amused.

"Both, at this point."

"You wish," Reed scoffed, tilting far over to the left as if it had any bearing on the direction his avatar went in. He had this habit of playing with his whole body, so caught up in the game that he didn't even seem to realise what he was doing. "It's not my fault you losers suck at this game."

"Pipe down, Judas," Oliver said. "I don't suck at this game. I just had a traitor on my team."

"Sounds like a whole bunch of excuses to me, Sterling."

Oliver rolled his eyes. "You're so walking to school next week."

Reed spared him a glance at that, eyes gleaming with a challenge. It sent a curl of desire all the way down to Oliver's toes and it really took all his willpower not to pin him down with a kiss this time. "You wouldn't," Reed said.

"Try me, Bishop."

He accompanied the words with a shift of his hand, so it was no longer resting on his beanbag but right by Reed's thigh, out of Adam's sight. Reed sucked in a breath and on screen, he barely ducked away from a barrage of bullets in time. Oliver took the liberty of inching his hand further until it was resting on Reed's inner thigh and it was only a matter of seconds before Reed was a splattered, bloody corpse. He turned on Oliver with an accusatory look of his own but Oliver saw the blaze of lust burning behind Reed's eyes. The sight of it was enough to leave Oliver feeling flushed all over.

"You cheat," Reed said, his voice only a little roughened. "I totally had that in the bag until you got in the way."

Oliver shrugged. "Sounds like a whole bunch of excuses to me."

Reed shoved his hand away but his lips were curling up in a grudging smile. Oliver entertained the idea of what would happen if he just kissed Reed. Would Adam freak out? Be angry? Would he even be surprised at all? They never did anything when they were hanging out with Adam, nothing more than flirty quips and the occasional touches, but Oliver wasn't sure how subtle they were anymore. Clair had figured it out pretty quickly and Adam was smart enough to do the same. He had wandered over to the other side of his bedroom, rifling through his drawers in search of something. He gave no indication that he suspected anything from their behaviour but that didn't mean much. If Adam wanted to keep something to himself, he was more than capable of it.

"Let's do something else. I'm bored of this game," Adam said.

"That's just because you're shit," Reed said, with all his usual no-nonsense bluntness. "Try not getting yourself killed in the first five minutes."

"Remind me again why we even play video games with you?"

"Because you need to see someone competent playing for once?" Reed suggested.

Adam heaved a sigh. "It's astounding you can even get through my bedroom door with that huge head of yours, Reed."

"It's one of his only talents," Oliver agreed, and Reed flipped them both off. Oliver turned his attention to Adam. "Do you have any suggestions for what else we could do? Because I'm also bored of listening to Reed to boast his nonexistent abilities."

"Sore losers, the lot of you," Reed muttered under his breath.

"As a matter of fact, I do." Adam reached into the drawer he had been looking through and produced something with a matter of fact satisfaction. "It'll be much more entertaining than video games."

It took Oliver a moment to identify the small, thin object Adam was holding. "A spliff?" he asked.

"Yeah," Adam said. "Both my parents are out of town for some charity fundraiser with the church this weekend, so there's no risk of them finding out. This should be strong enough to give us all a buzz for at least a few hours."

Oliver had gotten high a couple of times before. Once with Marcie, sharing her bedroom windowsill to gaze out at the crowded street and working their way through every single snack in her house, and once with Fin, who wanted to try out some claim he had heard that sex when high was a transcendent experience. His words exactly. Oliver wasn't sure about transcendent, but it had certainly been something. For all his issues, Oliver couldn't fault Fin for that idea or experience. He decided not to mention any of that to Reed, who already hated Finley with a burning passion. No need to fuel the fire when they'd be seeing him for the final national meet some time this term.

"Sounds good to me," Oliver said, with a glance towards Reed. "I can guess Adam has smoked before, but have you?"

Reed shook his head. "Getting high was always a cute little romantic experience Adam liked to share with Clair. I can't think of a worse way to third wheel."

"Well, Clair's not here," Adam said shortly. "So make your mind up. We can smoke this thing now, or I'll just do it myself later."

"Sure, I'm down," Reed said. "I've always been curious what it feels like to get high. Now's as good time as ever, I guess."

Despite how cold it was, they pulled on their coats and headed out to smoke in the gazebo at the back of the garden. They passed the spliff between the three of them, Adam and Oliver instructing Reed on the proper way to smoke it. Much to their entertainment, it took Reed more than a few attempts of coughing and spluttering to figure out how actually inhale any of the smoke. His threats at them to shut the fuck up were considerably less threatening when it was interspersed with lots of smoky cough. By the time the spliff was finished, Oliver was already feeling a little buzzed, that sensation of detachment from his mind and body settling in.

"Wow," Oliver said, as Adam led them back upstairs. He didn't want them tracking the smell of weed into his bedroom so they were spending the rest of the evening hanging out in the attic. It was converted into another living area much like the basement, and more importantly, neither of Adam's parents ever had any reason to go up there. "This is strong shit, Adam."

"Right?" Adam looked pleased. "I always get my weed from this dealer. He always has the best."

Oliver glanced at Reed, whose eyebrows were furrowed in confusion. "You good?" he asked, nudging him lightly in the side. "Feeling it yet?"

"Yes?" Reed stared down at his hands as if bewildered by the sight of them. "I think so? My hands feel weird. I don't think they belong to me."

Oliver laughed and Adam glanced back at them with a grin. "He's definitely feeling it," he said.

For the two hours or so, it was great. The attic had a large plasma screen TV — it seemed most of the rooms in this house were fitted with a TV of some sort — and they lounged on the wide leather sofas, flicking lazily through Netflix for something to watch. Oliver couldn't have told you a single thing that happened in the movie they decided on, forget what it was called, but he knew he was having a good time. They chatted absolute shit about whatever was going on on the screen and anything else that came to mind, random aimless thoughts that probably weren't funny enough to warrant the fits of laughter it sent them into.

More than once they wandered downstairs to the kitchen for snacks when the munchies kicked in. Oliver was fairly certain they terrified Brooks, who happened to be in the kitchen during one of their trips. He wasn't even sure what happened in that interaction beyond Reed being unnecessarily rude, as usual, Oliver telling him to shut up and Adam unable to stop laughing for whatever reason. Oliver was fairly certain it was the sight of his brother reduced to a giggling mess that sent Brooks hurrying back upstairs to the safety of his bedroom.

Oliver was buzzed enough that he didn't notice Reed's silence until it must have stretched on for quite a while. He struggled into a sitting position with some difficulty because his arms and legs didn't seem to want to obey him. Eventually, he got himself upright enough to survey the situation. Adam was sprawled on the floor in front of the TV, his face practically in the bowl of popcorn he was working his way through with little difficulty. Reed was sharing the sofa with Oliver and had pulled himself into the corner at some point, knees up to his chin and arms wrapped around his legs. The expression on his face cut through some of the foggy haze that had settled over Oliver's brain. He was staring blankly at the screen as if it was the last thing he was seeing and looked pale.

"Hey," Oliver said, nudging him with his foot. He was still too high to properly clock what was going on but he knew something was wrong. "Okay?"

Reed started and glanced at him as if he had forgotten he was even there. After too long of a pause, he nodded. "Fine," he said, voice shaking a little. "I'm fine."

Oliver straightened up with a frown. "Are you sure?"

Reed nodded again, too quickly this time, but Oliver could tell he was definitely not fine. His hands had started trembling where they had curled tightly around his knees and he looked as if he was struggling to keep his breathing steady. Oliver slid closer to him on the sofa and wrapped his hands around Reed's to steady them, not even caring that Adam was lying less than a foot away from them.

"Reed, be honest," Oliver said quietly. "Are you feeling okay? Is something wrong?"

Reed tried to take a deep breath and his eyes widened in alarm when it only resulted in turning his breathing quicker. "I don't like this," he admitted, pulling his hand free to press shaky fingers against his chest. "I feel weird. I feel...my heart is going too fast. What the fuck is happening? This isn't normal."

Adam had noticed something was happening now and tipped his head back to frown up at them. "What's up?" he asked, unfocused gaze sliding to Reed. "Is he okay?"

Reed's attempts at clinging to control were falling apart and he was spiralling into panic when he grabbed Oliver's hand. "Oliver, I don't like this," he said, his voice breathless and shaky. "I really don't like this. Please make it stop. I feel like I'm going to die. I...I — "

"Hey, you're fine," Oliver said, trying to hide how much it was unnerving him to see Reed freaking out like this. He needed to stay calm so he didn't panic Reed any further. It took Oliver a moment to remember this happened sometimes, that Marcie mentioned she felt a little anxious when she smoked with him. Reed must just be feeling an exaggerated response to that anxiety. "I promise you're fine and you're not going to die. This happens sometimes, that's all. I'm sorry, we should have warned you, some people respond like this to weed. It'll pass soon."

Reed just shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut. He was shaking all over now and was clinging to Oliver's hand like his life depended on it. He tried to say something but he was breathing too fast to get anything out and that only panicked him further. Oliver glanced at Adam who was staring at them both with wide eyes; it was clear he wasn't going to be much help.

"I'll take him outside," Oliver told him. "Some fresh air might help."

Adam looked too baffled to do anything more than nod. Getting Reed down the stairs and out of the house was difficult enough, as he was shaking so hard it was a wonder he could even walk at all, and the blast of icy air that hit them as they stepped into the garden didn't seem to help at all. Reed was a flushed, sweaty mess and seemed convinced of the fact he was going to die, even with all of Oliver's assurances that it was just a panic attack. Oliver caught his face between his hands and Reed stared back at him with wide, terrified eyes. His skin was too hot beneath Oliver's palms and Reed brought his hands up to curl in a bruising tight grip around his wrists, as if it was the only thing holding him upright.

"Focus on me. Just focus on me, okay? You need to bring your breathing back under control and then it'll end. Breathe in, breathe out," Oliver instructed, demonstrating with his own breaths. Reed tried to mimic the slow rise and fall of his chest but he was still sucking in too many breaths. "In, out, in, out..."

Gradually, Reed managed to bring three breaths for Oliver's every one to two breaths, and then he was breathing almost in time with him. He had no clue how long they stood like that with Reed's fingers curled around his wrists and Oliver staring at him with a steady gaze as he breathed slowly. Oliver knew it couldn't have been more than ten minutes but it felt like an eternity stretched between them before Reed finally stopped trembling. He drew in a shuddery breath and released it in a shaky exhale.

"Is it over?" Oliver asked.

Reed nodded. Oliver felt himself relax from the tension he hadn't even realised had coiled up inside him and wrapped his arms around Reed to draw him close. Reed fell against Oliver without hesitation, burying his face in his shoulder and hugging him so tightly it felt like he was trying to squeeze them both into the same body. Oliver rubbed his back in slow, soothing circles and murmured comfort into his hair, platitudes that he was fine and everything was okay. He had no clue whether he was saying the right thing but Reed didn't pull away or tell him to shut up, so he didn't stop.

"Fuck me," Reed muttered, his voice muffled by Oliver's shoulder where his face was still hidden. "That was terrifying."

"I know." Oliver stroked his hair, soft and fine beneath his fingers. "But it's over now."

"I'm sorry."

"What are you apologising for?" Oliver asked with a frown. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"You and Adam were fine. I'm the only one who freaked out like that. It was...stupid. Embarrassing."

"You're doing it again," Oliver said, drawing back slightly to lift a hand to Reed's cheek. He still felt too warm and Oliver's fingers must have been ice against his skin but Reed still leant into the touch. "Being too hard on yourself. Everyone reacts differently to weed and it's quite common to feel the way you did. It doesn't say anything about you as a person, Reed, and it certainly isn't stupid or embarrassing."

Reed made a noncommittal sound that certainly didn't seem to be agreement but made it clear he didn't want to talk about this anymore. Oliver was more than happy to oblige by leaning forward to capture his lips with his own, a soft and gentle reminder that he wasn't alone and he never would be. Oliver curled his hands in his Reed's hair to tilt his face towards his own and Reed let his hands drift down to grip Oliver's hips, pulling him closer until Oliver was pressing him into the cold brick of the wall. There was nothing heated and intense about this kiss; Oliver was still feeling the weed, and after the events of the evening, neither of them were feeling the frenzied passion that had driven them in the early days.

Every touch was gentle, warm kisses ghosted along necks and fingers tracing familiar patterns along each other's bodies. Oliver melted into Reed and could have kissed him like this for the rest of his life.

Unfortunately, they were drawn back to reality far sooner than either of them had been anticipating. Oliver didn't clock the sudden brightness of the motion detector lights fitted into the garden walls until it was too late and by the time he had jerked away from Reed, head still spinning from the weed and the kiss, there was already a loud gasp to indicate they had been seen. For a confused moment, Oliver thought it was Adam standing in the open doorway of the sliding doors and his heart was suddenly pounding for an entirely different reason. But once his eyes had adjusted, and his brain unscrambled itself to make sense of what was going on, he saw it wasn't Adam at all.

It was Brooks, staring at the two of them with huge eyes.

"I'm sorry," he stammered, immediately backing away from the doorway, raising his hands in defence, "shit, I had no idea...I mean, I didn't mean to interrupt, I was just scared there was a robber or something outside, uh, anyway, ignore me — "

He fled inside before Oliver could even understand what had just happened.