There was no point in lying to April, especially when she had already presumed that something out of the ordinary had happened. At the same time, Pelham couldn't resolve whether confiding in her had been an overall solace or something that he might regret later in the future. Not that he wanted to take his words back and keep them locked up in his brain forever. Rather, it was her response that seemed to be hounding him.

Pelham had been straightforward, pitching his voice into a nonchalant mode, so he sounded as though he was merely discussing the issues regarding the weather that day.

"Then he kind of kissed me," he'd stated with a casual shrug, looking anywhere but April's eyes at the school compound earlier, having gotten out of class early and going to meet with her afterwards.

Her eyes had widened then, and her eyebrows rose further up on her forehead that they were at the verge of vanishing into the depths of her hair. "Kind of kissed you?" she'd exclaimed, earning a few glances from some students at the compound area. "I knew something sexual happened."

"April, it's not like that,"

"I didn't know he was gay,"

"Oh, I don't know-"

"What do you mean you don't know?" said April, regarding Pelham with the air of someone trying to tell a minor that one plus one equals to two instead of eleven. "Pelham, unless Lucio is a actually a girl in disguise and 'she' kissed you, then that explains it. Though, of course, heteronormativity tends to get bland. Then again, there are various of factors ..."

"So, what, you want me to try and grope his crotch next time I see him?"

"If that's what you do best ..." she was smirking. "If he winces, I don't reckon it'll give you much of a valid result. So I suggest you start interrogating him in a dungeon-"

"April,"

She had merely laughed.

"He panicked afterwards, though," he said, proceeding to the topic. "Kind of detached himself before he left the house - as well as his phone."

April just nodded and hummed to herself, looking fairly contented to have had listened to the whole story. Pelham admitted that he felt better after getting it out of his chest, for he himself was still at a state of bewilderment at Lucio's actions.

Especially when Lucio refused to acknowledge Pelham's presence for the rest of the day at school, regardless of the number of times they passed each other in the hallway, or how Pelham had called him for more than a couple of times. For someone who had actually sat there on the couch when it happened, who didn't do anything, Pelham felt like he was the one who had kissed Lucio. If that were the case, however, Lucio paying no heed to Pelham would at least be explicable.

Not the other way around, where things grew more disconcerting than they already were. And there was Pelham, who still couldn't quite grasp his own feelings.

Then, just when he thought the topic had been over, there came April's seemingly simple question with a seemingly straightforward answer, jumbling Pelham's head even more; "Did you like it?"

And it took him quite while to respond with another casual shrug, along with a quick-witted answer. "I mean, I'm not bothered by it," he simply said - which was true, yet avoiding the real answer, seeing as he himself was still puzzled.

Before Lucio, he had expected that kissing boys will be like his first time kissing someone. Instead, it had felt somewhat normal, to which its level of normalcy exceeded the level of normalcy for when he was kissing a girl. He had kissed other girls than April when he was younger than fourteen, but those never felt adequately right.

How odd, he thought, that to feel normal means to be abnormal. At least there's that, he told himself.

"It was just a kiss," he told April afterwards, waving his hand in the air dismissively. "That can easily be forgotten."

April had looked uncertain by the remark, however, for she simply replied, "We'll see if you have second thoughts."

Pelham couldn't quite get her words out of his mind up until now. They were like a faint ringing in the depths of his brain, unable to be switched off. Inaccessible. And he felt as though he was in a maze of office where everything he could hear was the incessant ringing of telephones. Only this time, they were taking form of April's voice.

We'll see if you have second thoughts.

He wasn't supposed to feel any less perturbed by it, yet here he was, unable to concentrate on the screen even as his fingers squeezed the buttons of the console - attack them, really. Soon he was firing everyone in the video game - even the members of his own troop.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," came Roshon's voice as he appeared through the doorframe, having just taken a break to get some food from Pelham's kitchen. "Don't blow off everyone, man."

Pelham paused the game and addressed his friend, who put down the bowl of sour-cream flavoured crisps and two bottles of water in front of them. "Didn't know Mum bought those crisps," he observed, frowning hard at the bowl, a look of slight scepticism etched on his face, feeling fairly betrayed at the same time.

"Treasures aren't meant to be hidden at an easily discovered area, Pelham,"

"I find it less likely that my mum will hide food around the house,"

"Maybe it's not your mum. Who knows if your dad doesn't want to share food with you?" said Roshon, shoving his hand into the bowl and scooping a handful of crisps. "If I became a dad one day and my son is almost reaching adulthood, I'd tell him to stay away from my food."

"You sure have managed your priorities well, haven't you?"

"Anyway, I found this on top of the bookshelf," said Roshon, jerking his head towards the bowl, as though the snack's whereabouts was a prior issue.

"And you took it?" Pelham said incredulously. "Don't be surprised if I come back to school tomorrow sporting a black eye."

Roshon snorted. "You dad doesn't look like the type to hit his son,"

"I'm exaggerating,"

"Right you are,"

"How'd you know it's my dad's anyway?" said Pelham.

"I mean, my dad hides chocolates around the house just so none of us can find them,"

Pelham opened his mouth to say something, but closed it when he found that he had run out of counters. Why was he even discussing the likelihood of his own father hiding snacks around the house with Roshon anyway, who could be at his topmost degree of satire at the moment, and Pelham had completely missed it?

In the end, Pelham handed the console over to Roshon, who resumed the game whilst scooping more of the crisps with his other hand to shove them into his mouth. Roshon was right; he had killed off a large number of members of his own troop, having had stirred out of focus when his realm decided to prowl the area of his brain.

Pelham sat there with his legs crossed, his stomach filled too much with apprehension to eat anything as he watched Roshon play. April's words danced in his head, forcing him to rake his own brain. Was he having second thoughts? Did he feel like it? As far as he was concerned, he hadn't exactly stressed himself out with the situation with Lucio until April asked him how he felt.

Am I supposed to feel something? he found himself musing, and along the mere thought of it came the indubitable feeling of fear.

There was also the fact that the words were at the verge of bursting right out of his mouth, as were the unspoken ones now that Roshon was here. Why was he so timid? Roshon, after all, was his best friend. Surely he would accept him? If April, who would have the most decent reason to view Pelham with disdain, had accepted him for who he really was, surely Roshon would do the same? They had been friends for as long as he could remember, surely they had gained each other's trust and support not to turn each other down? Why was Pelham suddenly doubting their friendship?

Perhaps the thought alone was the reason that drove Pelham to call Roshon's name without putting much thought to it. "Hey, Rosh ..."

The word was displayed on the screen, and Roshon turned to Pelham. "Yep?"

"You know about Lucio yesterday?" he said. Roshon nodded, signalling him to proceed with mild interest. "The things I told you aren't the only things that happened."

Now that got Roshon's full attention. "What happened, then?" he asked slowly, even his eyes were narrowing.

It was easier with April, thought Pelham. She knew about him. But Roshon? "He kissed me," he blurted out.

Roshon laughed.

When Pelham continued to look sombre, Roshon coughed and fixed a sober gaze on his friend, scrutinising him as though he had never seen something or someone so peculiar. "You're serious," he said.

Pelham just nodded.

"Why?" Roshon asked.

"Why ... what?"

"Why'd he kiss you?"

Pelham found that he had no answer. How was he supposed to know when Lucio himself was avoiding him? "I don't know," he said truthfully. "He just did."

"And you didn't freak out?"

Pelham shook his head. "I don't mind it at all, actually," he answered. Did you like it? April's voice floated into his head. He shook it off.

Roshon tilted his head to the side, frowning now. "Why not?"

Pelham exhaled through his mouth. "Should've told you this sooner," he sighed.

"Tell me what, Pel?"

"Tell you that I'm gay,"

A humourless chuckle escaped Roshon's throat. "So, a boy just kissed you out of the blue and now you're gay?" he said, even if the smile didn't quite reach his eyes. "Where's the logic in that?"

It was Pelham's turn to frown now. "Lucio didn't make me gay for him," he stated, an itch of irritability tugging at his heart. "I'm just ... I'm gay, okay? That's why I ended my relationship with April, because it never felt right and it was time I stopped lying to myself and her and I don't want to-"

Roshon had fished his phone out of his pocket, frowning at the screen before bringing it to his ear. "Yeah, hey, Dad ... damn, I ... Yes, I forgot that was today ... I'll be there ... now, of course ... Nah, I'm already done anyway ..." Roshon got to his feet and shrugged his jacket on, slinging the strap of his schoolbag over one shoulder. He mouthed Gotta go! to Pelham, who simply stared at him from the floor.

"I guess I'll see you ..." Pelham began, but Roshon was already out of the door and out of sight. "... tomorrow."

But Pelham didn't see Roshon on the next day, nor the day after. At first, he assumed that it had to be of a really important matter to Roshon, so he left it at that. Not until it dawned on him that his best friend might or might not be avoiding him. He didn't think it was possible. He could only assure himself that Roshon wasn't exactly April, and that where April showed her support, Roshon didn't seem to put much thought to it.

At least, that was what he hoped.

Pelham tried not to let any speculation that related to Roshon shunning him disrupt his thoughts. Had it been a wrong move after all, disclosing his sexual orientation to his best friend? Should he have kept it a secret? Pelham had always assured himself that Roshon was the type of friend who would have his back to him no matter what, that Roshon was an unprejudiced person.

Perhaps Pelham was simply panicking. Roshon hadn't exactly regarded Pelham with contempt when he told him about himself. He was merely in a rush. By the sounds of it, as far as Pelham could remember, Roshon had forgotten to do something important back home with his father.

We'll talk again, Pelham hoped. He'll say that it doesn't matter.

Though, Pelham couldn't quite mistake the angst that was coiling and uncoiling in his guts. He needed to talk to Roshon. There was something about their last conversation that seemed to be suspending at the brink of a cliff, either to be hauled over or to simply plunge into abyss. Then there was also the fact that neither of them had contacted each other.

Pelham thought he should explain it further on the phone, just to enlighten his friend. But he didn't, and he couldn't fathom why. Moreover, Roshon couldn't seem to grasp the fact on how badly his best friend needed to talk to him.

It was on a Friday morning when Pelham finally caught a glimpse of Roshon at the school compound, seemingly in a haste to enter the hallway. Odd, he thought, for Roshon hardly ever did that. Normally - whenever he was early - he would sit on the bench, his ears plugged in with some music while waiting for Pelham to arrive. But that day, everything seemed to be in a rush.

Pelham caught up with his friend in the hallway afterwards, who was simply making his way towards his locker. "Roshon," he began, resting a hand on his friend's shoulder as soon as he was directly behind him.

To which Roshon responded by whirling around on his heels and, upon meeting Pelham's eyes, he shrugged Pelham's hand off as though repulsed by it. "Oh," he said after a fleeting moment. "You."

"Yeah, me. Hi,"

Roshon merely nodded in greeting before turning the combination on his locker door, swinging it open afterwards to extract some books.

"Everything all right with your dad?" Pelham began.

"Eh?" came Roshon's response. "Oh, you mean ... yeah, that. Yes, things are fine."

"So what happened back there?"

"What d'you mean?" said Roshon, not meeting Pelham's eyes as he began rummaging the contents of his bag with a deep frown.

"I ... well, I was trying to explain why-"

"Man, I gotta go," said Roshon abruptly, closing his locker door before zipping up his bag with a final zzt.

"We have seventeen more minutes," Pelham frowned after a brief glance at his wrist watch.

"Didn't you hear?" Roshon suddenly snapped, projecting a glare towards Pelham, who inadvertently retrieved a few steps. Roshon, realising what he had just done, closed his eyes briefly and chewed on his bottom lip as if restraining himself from saying anything else that might hurl extraneous indignity towards his best friend. "We still have Chem together, okay?" he even sounded less keen about it.

Without another word, Roshon stalked off with an unnecessary speed. Pelham briefly mused on what it was that required Roshon's punctuality.

And Pelham had only just realised, upon turning around, that April had been standing a few feet behind him. A frown was etched upon her forehead, her head tilted to the side as she regarded him with one hand clutching the strap of her schoolbag. It was clear that she had heard Pelham and Roshon's exchange.

"What was that about?" she asked, as she approached Pelham with tentative steps.

It took a while until Pelham finally found his voice. "I came out to him."