⊰ chapter twenty three ⊱

"Close!" Seokjin clapped his hands as Dara fixed her vision, putting down her arms as she backed away to look at the target and the arrow plunged on it. Only by a few meters, she missed it, "Eight points. You are improving, princess!"

Dara grinned at how often her titles had been changing lately. She went from a princess to a Queen, a Queen to the ruler of Zisk, and then a dethroned ruler to the wife of the Blood Heir. Well, halfway to a divorce by that. She smiled at Seokjin, her arms shivering because of the cold, "The weather is going West today. It's really cold."

But it wasn't snowing. The breeze seemed colder than the usual evening winds. Dara noticed how clean and moist the earth smelt too. Her boots were drowned with snow, and every time she took a step upwards, it did feel like lifting heavy weight. Skovier sighed, catching Dara's attention. She raised a brow and he stood up from the tree bark, sighing heavily, "It just feels weird, Princess. All this. Are you sure you are battling for something worth it?"

"He isn't wrong," Seokjin said, "We are your soldiers, Dara. We love Jungkook, we accept him by heart. But you fight the Curve soon, the reincarnations, Jungkook and your lives are at stake. It breaks my heart to think that you both are divorced on top of all this, you should be with him. You should be with your King, at North, ruling the Blood throne with him—,"

"And who do you suppose saves you from the Curve?" Dara burst out with a frown.

"I don't know, we will figure it out!" Seokjin's ears were red, "Dara, I cannot see you both like this. At first, I was just mad at Jungkook for not treating you and himself shit because of his country duties and now I am mad at you, not only you are pushing him away, you are pushing your subjects away—,"

"You were never my subject to begin with, Seokjin. Me and you, belong to Jungkook. And even if he does not wish for me to go to the Curve, I still will. I have been chosen to do this. And he has been chosen for the Blood Throne by the Curve itself. We are children of curses, we cannot defy our fates and live like you and everyone else. So don't bullshit me." Dara realized what she had said.

And she regretted it.

Seokjin nodded, "Yeah. We do live simple lives."

"I didn't mean that," everyone had hardships, Dara felt the wrong tone on her bones.

"No. You are right. I would never survive this far if I were in your shoes or Jungkook's," Seokjin nodded, "It just hurts to see and know that we cannot do much being your devoted soldiers, and it's some war that you will fight alone."

"You have the greatest man who walked on Zisk's earth as your next King, and you are complaining about an excuse sent from her past life?" Dara chuckled ironically, "Give me better than that, you both. Jungkook will outdo every ruler, I can feel it on my bones."

"Of course he will," Skovier made a statement, "He is the blood heir, he was born for this. What will happen to me? You assigned Seokjin as his soldier in hand."

"I suggested," Dara corrected herself, "He would change if he would like to. Of course, he won't eliminate you. But if you would like to resign—,"

"I would resign if you do not come back to the North as Queen," Skovier nodded, very sure about his decision, "I was sent for you, to serve you. There is no means of me staying in the royal court if not for you."

Dara did not have a lot to add to Skovier's remark but noticed how upset his eyes were, and how reluctant Seokjin seemed. She sighed heavily before picking up her bow from the ground again, finding herself an arrow. She postured herself in front of the target. When she was set to let go of the arrow after stretching her arm to the back-end, she felt an arm lift her arm up. Her eyes opened to see the arrow hit the red spot, absolutely angle and no excuses made for it to not hit ten points. She knew the pattern of the palm, so she and the soldiers curtsied at the same time.

Dara looked to her left to find Jungkook looking down at her, her gaze lower than usual as she faced him. Jungkook was in a blue western made cape, the buttons up until his neck. Dara noticed the western horses, Taehyung and the Western guards standing by at a distance. Dara looked at Jungkook, "Is something up?"

"Would buy some time from you," Jungkook took a nervous breath, "I will drop you back here when I am done. It won't take...that long, I guess."

"Oh," Dara noticed Taehyung approaching them with a similar cape himself, "Where are we going?"

"Depths of the Western forest," Jungkook walked towards a white horse, hopping onto it before extending his hand for Dara. Taehyung helped Dara slip into the blue cape, she buttoned it and found how similar she and Jungkook seemed with the same embroidered clothes on them. Jungkook dragged Dara up on the horse, her confused eyes seemed roaming from one inch to the other inch of the forest as the two rode off, "The royal guards aren't coming?"

"We won't need them," Jungkook said before the horse ran through the back forest of the house. Dara's eyes sparkled as the horse ran them through the Western, snow-covered meadows, crystal-leaf trees towering them as they crossed the ice bridge. Dara shivered against Jungkook's chest, "Cold?"

"What is this place?" as if fog itself blew out of Dara's mouth as she spoke, her lashes cold and untouchable as she looked at Jungkook. She gasped lightly when Jungkook's eyes turned blue, his hair streaks snow-white, "You are turning...crystal."

"Surprised?" Jungkook grinned a bit, "The more I learned to adapt Western magic, the more it got my Northern soul to become one of them. But I never expertised myself, my ordinary northern blood denies me to try further magic. If Hoseok came to this side of the West, he would look like what he really is; a western magician."

"I thought West was not capable of magic," Dara watched Jungkook hop off the horse, before there was another forest. But this one was glistening, brown tree barks with blue ice heads. Dara had no idea why they were here.

"We are. Our magic is selected and gifted to particular ones. The pure ones, unlike Easterns, aren't gifted to the bad ones either. Some nurture it secretly, me and Yoongi for example," Jungkook tied the horse to a nearby trunk, patting it before walking past Dara and slowly into the forest, "Come. I have something to show you."

Dara swallowed before following him into the forest. The crystals had their own sound, their own songs, their own memories. And Jungkook seemed like he knew the tracks into the forest. He looked back to see Dara's mesmerized eyes by all the glistening blues and ice over her head. When reaching the center of the forest, there was nothing to look back at as she found herself searching between the trees. She looked at Jungkook, "What is this?"

"I used to come here every week on my off-duties. There is a shortcut I know, through the valleys. I wouldn't even visit my mother and would just come around here, stay here for a day and two...curve the trees and leave," Jungkook said.

Dara looked back at the trees, her eyes frowning as she read, "Dear....daggers...dear daggers?" Jungkook slipped out a little dagger out of his waist belt, a sharp knife, the handle beautifully stoned with rhinestones and northern emeralds, "This is the dagger your father gave me as a gift when he first found me. This was Arver's. It's valuable. He asked me to sell the stones if I were ever in any trouble. I did get myself into major troubles during my trainee days, but I never wanted to sell these. Beautiful, isn't it?"

Dara touched the dagger, the gold plated handle cold against her skin, "You carved the marks on the trees with this?"

"This was my only companion back then. I haven't shed a single blood with this," Jungkook said, his eyes on Dara's, "This was...is my last bait for bloodshed. I would sell myself to keep it."

"But it is Arver's," Dara handed it back.

Jungkook held it, looking at it, "And he assigned me to you the very moment he handed this to me. I couldn't look at it with the hatred I had for him."

Dara looked away too soon, to not let him witness any of her reactions to that. Jungkook watched the woman walk around the trees, her hands touching the barks, the skin of the carved letters. Dara's heart dropped when she saw a sixteen year old boy's first letter to his older self.

Dear Daggers,

Today, the King let me out. I visited Maa, and Yoongi. Sam and Era grew up. I am going to be a soldier, Maa says it's a good job. I am scared.

Dara's heart fluttered when she walked to the next tree.

Dear Daggers,

I turn seventeen today. The King gifted me a new chiffon. I will wear it to the Caucus with him tomorrow. Maa is hiding something. I am worried.

Dear Daggers,

The King killed my father. I don't know why I am crying for a man I never knew of. Maa says there are greater things for me on the horizon and I should be careful of the King. I will be sad for a long time, I think. Maybe, forever.

Dear Daggers,

I am nineteen. I know her name. It's Dara Koveski. They say she has red hair. The King's daughter, red hair? Where would her mother be? She must have red hair too.

Dara smiled at the words. But she did not dare to look back at Jungkook.

Dear Daggers,

Era really is pretty. But I don't like the idea of marriage. But a promise is a promise.

Dear Daggers,

I am the Blood Heir. I feel like puking.

Dara guessed he could have been still nineteen when he found that out. She moved to the next tree, realizing how consistent the pattern of his entries were.

Dear Daggers,

The Princess is disgusting. She is irritating and heartless. Can't believe I am twenty five and complaining about my responsibilities for the first time.

Dear Daggers,

Do you think some women are too egoistic for their age?

Dear Daggers,

She looks at me and I feel like...nothing. Is it weird?

Dear Daggers,

She kissed me.

I feel crazy.

Her cheeks were hot when she read the words inside her head, her fingertips tracing the letters. She swallowed, still not making any attempts to look back at Jungkook. Her heart felt heavy as she moved to the next tree, only to realize he had carved more words on the back of the tree. Dara moved cautiously, hiding behind the tree from Jungkook as she tried to read quickly.

Dear Daggers,

I did not attend the engagement. I can't marry Era when I'm wrapped in silk for another woman. I can't believe I am doing this.

Dear Daggers,

Her ways of ruling are screwed, but she does get the bread on the table for sure. Arver adopted the right girl to trick the eyes of the world. But not mine.

Dear Daggers,

Dara Koveski. Dara means the wise one. Koveski means lover. But she is so cruel. And witty.

Dear Daggers,

I am married. I am a married man.

Dear Daggers,

She smells like lavender and looks like twilight.

How could I make her mine, when my hands are cuffed with this shrewd vine?

Dara smiled, biting her lower lip. Her lashes lowered as she thought of how it would sound on his lips. He was a poet. Something Dara did not know she needed to know until today.

Dear Daggers,

I can't breathe when she is with me.

They say I live the dream of every man of Zisk.

That I am married to the dream of every lover lived.

Am I becoming a victim of her divineess? Or do I turn to be the prey?

Dara realized there were no entries for a long period of time, leaving some trees empty. She walked around to find writing again.

Dear Daggers,

Dara hates me.

She felt her throat close. This was after they came to the West. After his revelation.

Dear Daggers,

She cut her hair. She cut me. I feel nothing.

And I can't hate her. Which is worse.

Dear Daggers,

She is gone. She left me. I feel hopeless.

Dear Daggers,

I miss her. I miss Dara so much.

Dear Daggers,

I wish I could tell the things she wants to hear.

Maybe I should bring her here one day.

Dear Daggers,

She loves mother. And Sam.

Dear Daggers,

Will I ever be able to mend the amount of times I have broken her?

What about me? Does she not see how bad it shatters me too?

Dara's mouth parted, she felt a drop of water roll down her eyes.

Dear Daggers,

Her hair is long in my dreams. I feel like something terrible will happen.

Dear Daggers,

Will she ever be mine?

It broke her there. Dara's eyes poured a rainfall as she read the words, her heart hurting. Her chin wobbled before she closed her mouth with her palm, her eyes trembling as she continued to read.

Dear Daggers,

I want to run away with her. And never be found again.

Fuck this. I am so tired. I am so tired of seeing her wounded.

Dear Daggers,

I am the King of the Curve.

She knew all of it.

Dear Daggers,

Could I tell her now?

That I can't breathe without her?

Dear Daggers,

I am King. I am King, again. Yes.

Dara looked at the last letter on the tree. She took a deep breath before reading it.

Dear Daggers,

Dara Koveski loves me.

She won't live.

I don't want to live either.

Dara turned to face Jungkook with a red, famished face, tears all over her face and uneven breathing. Her heart hurt, squeezed and traced with madness as she found those pairs of eyes, holding back the tears he had let out every night for her. Dara's back touched the tree, her body breaking as she wept into the cold of the West.

"You are so selfish," Jungkook said, trying to blink tears off his eyes, "After all that we have been through, you decide to leave. You decide to tell me that you won't live, and I should give up? You are so damn selfish, Dara, it's disgusting."

Jungkook was hurting. And he was blurting.

"You can't leave, you hear me?" Jungkook pointed at Dara, tears at the edge of his eyes, "You won't leave without my orders, I am King, you will stay. This is an order. Screw the laws, do you understand?"

"Do you love me?" Dara's body burned.

"Fuck,"Jungkook grabbed Dara and drew her close to him before leaning in to kiss her passionately and dragging her up the tree until he was lifting her off the ground. He then locked her petite waist with his enormous arms, and they breathed together. When he pulled away to tell her what his heart wanted, Jungkook's tears finally let go and rolled down his eyes, "I love you, so goddamn much."

So Dara kissed him again, her chest crying with pain as she felt that hers ache the same way it ached for him the first time he kissed her like it was his last with her. Dara wrapped her arms around Jungkook's neck, devouring his lips like they were only hers to meet at the highways and hells. Jungkook whispered against her lips, kissing it in between as he let her know that, "You are my worst heartbreak, and my happiest heartache. You could break me, keep breaking me until I am bleeding, and I would give everything just to be broken by you."

"Keep talking, please," Dara looked into his honey brown eyes that were tinted with blue.

"You make me mad," Jungkook closed his eyes, his voice like the snow, so soothing and happening, so maddening and touching, "You get on my nerves, you test all my patience, you set me on fire, but you make me fearless. And you make me say things I would never say, make me want to do things I would never think of. And I don't want to miss you ever, and it fucks me up."

He opened his eyes, touching his nose with hers, "This forest became the only place where I could talk about you to the night sky and not feel guilty about it. I could write all the pain, all the fevers, all the madness here, and I would never show it to you if I were to give up on you. Dara, I never gave up on you."

"I knew I was in love with you when you left me," Jungkook was crying again, and it broke Dara's soul inch by inch, "When you left me with my hopes and desires, and I was going mad. I was sick. I couldn't breathe. I puked every night, I wanted to finish myself."

"Please, no," Dara touched his cheek, whipping his tears away.

"If you told me to leave all this behind and run away with you, I would," Jungkook's brows were arched, his voice passionate as he expressed himself, his breathe uneven, "I would give up everything—I can't live without you, I'm sorry for hurting you for so long,"

"I love you," Dara told him, "And when I say I love you, Jungkook, that's all I can think. I love you."

And she would love him every life she was ever gifted with.

"But hey," Dara broke a smile at him, tears assembling again as she bit her lower lip, "I have to go too. And this may not be the right time to discuss this—,"

"There has been no man born to seize you from under my lashes," Jungkook whispered before he felt those words hit his bones, how truly he meant those, "I crave to be yours, so be held by you, to be loved by you. To hold your hand through the thinnest of blades."

"You were right," Jungkook nodded, squeezing her hands, "I could set the world on fire but never let a flame touch you."

Dara broke into another heartbreaking smile through her glittering tears against the crystal West, "You are mine."

He smiled, finally, nodding again and again before his face scrunched with his shattering heart, "If I can't be yours, I cannot be anyone else's."

Before kissing her forehead, Jungkook swore, tears streaming from his eyes as he saw Dara's final demise at the Curve. Jungkook would look for means for her to survive if she stated she wouldn't. Even if it meant the Curve would have to eat his bones and drink his blood.

He loved her, once more. Again.

Dara embraced Jungkook, her first and last love. The only man she would ever give her heart to, and Jungkook embraced the woman who would never ask his heart back from. And he pondered on how long they have come, who he once was, a mere soldier with big secrets, now in the arms of a mere slave of his with that berry red dream he once had.

"I ache for you," Dara confessed again.