I take the plates to the sink and set them down, running the faucet over them. I turn around, seeing Elsa sitting at the dining room table holding her head up and leaning against the table. Something's been wrong this whole week. I try thinking back to when it started. Monday, we went out and everything was fine...I think. I mean, she was tired and said she had a lot of work on Tuesday and we'd get together Wednesday. But she canceled plans Wednesday. And she hasn't really been taking my calls. I've been confused about whether to give her space or ask what's going on. I didn't want to call too many times but I was worried I messed something up.

Macy and Akari are also worried she's going to break up with me. I mean, I personally don't care if she does but I know that I need to be around longer. We need more information on her and Kelcer and the attack. The hotel bombing set us far back on the case, losing a lot of data. And a lot of agents. It's been a month but it's still been affecting our progress and the only thing we have that's been keeping us up to date is my relationship with Elsa. I can't let anything compromise that. However, I can't control it if it's something changing on her part.

I'm walking on eggshells because I know something's wrong and I've asked her too but she's dismissed it. But if I insist we talk, it may stage us breaking up. I have no idea how to relationship and I really hate Macy for putting me on this case. Because if she wants to break up, I have no idea why. I don't know what I did wrong and my only plan right now is to just guilt her into staying with me, which is really tacky but it's also the best I got.

Maybe she cheated on me. I mean, I don't care but this will have problems. If she did, then...hopefully, she sees it as a mistake. I'd forgive her, I don't have much else of a choice. But if she wants to leave me, there's only so much begging can do.

I turn off the faucet and sigh, leaning against the sink. Dragging this on will only make things worse. Nothing is getting done right now. I need to figure out what's going on to fix it. And if I can't and she breaks up with me, we're at least able to start doing our next plan of action for the mission.

Slowly, I walk back to the dining table and stand behind the chair next to her where I usually sit. I hold the back of the chair with both my hands and lean down, looking at her and just waiting. She sharply inhales and sits up, glancing at me with a forced but soft smile. I smile back at her, waiting for her to say something.

"Thank you for coming," she murmurs, her lips barely moving.

"You don't need to thank me, Engel," I say. "I enjoy being with you." I shift my jaw to the side contemplating. "But it seems you don't feel the same way about me anymore." Her eyes ease up and she looks upset. "Please tell me what's going on."

"It's no-"

"Don't give me that," I say. "If it was nothing, I never would have noticed. But something is troubling your mind and it's worrying me." She glances her head down. "Do you want to break up?"

She snaps her head up and stares at me. "Ach du Gott." She stands up and looks at me with an expression between offended and hurt. "Why would you ask that?"

I pause. Well, that's a good sign. "You have been refusing to speak with me as we do normally. I didn't know what to think." She crosses her arms and turns away, sighing out in frustration. "Is it work?"

"Somewhat," she mutters.

Work. Is there an attack planning? I mean, she's always kept it level-headed. The last four months we've been together, she's never let her job interfere with us. Except when Kelcer came to her house but that was out of her control. And she's never been bothered about it before. Something is new and now it's really worrying me. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I want to quit," she whispers.

"What?" I blurt out. That...this took a turn. "Did something happen at the offices?"

"Not exactly." She sways side to side, keeping her head low.

I stand up, walking over to her. "Then why would you want to quit? You're so..." how do I phrase this, "devoted. Did you find something else?" I gently put a hand on her arm and she eases a bit.

"I don't want to talk about this," she sighs, "but I'm going to have to." She looks at me with glossy eyes and a pained smile. "Ich Liebe Dich."

"I love you, too," I reply.

"Do you really mean that?" she asks seriously.

I narrow my eyes at her. "Now it's my turn to ask. Why would you ask that?"

"I need to know. Do you really love me?"

I stare at her for a moment, taking her in. She's beautiful. I'm not going to lie about that. Baby blue eyes, platinum blonde hair, soft face, radiant smile. In America, she'd be the ideal woman. But I know who she is and my feelings for her are all artifice. I stare at her for a moment and suddenly, I'm worried she knows who I am and my cover is blown. The only hope I have is that she started out by stating she wanted to quit her job. "Unconditionally," I say. "Why do you doubt me?" Before she can say anything, I continue. "Have I done something wrong to make you doubt my love for you?"

"No, but I worry you'll easily change your mind," she says.

"Not possible."

"I'm pregnant." My tongue turns to lead and I exhale. Elsa grits her teeth together in a grimacing smile.

"Wh-huh?" I mutter, slowly floating away. I can't feel my legs. Or my chest. Or my head. "Are-what?" This isn't happening. Now I really wish she did cheat on me. "And..." my voice is brittle as a hot flash strikes me. I need to be calm. I need to stay under cover. But this isn't something I can do. I don't know how to react to this.

"Gerard?"

"Huh?" I glance at her, my face heating up. Passing out would not be advised but I don't know what to do. I need to say something but what do I say? "Are you sure?" That...wasn't the best thing.

"Ja," she whispers.

I start nodding my head, grabbing onto the back of the chair and gripping the wood tightly. "Okay...and uh-" I point to myself and she gives me a look. "Okay then, yeah."

"Ich Liebe Dich" she whispers.

"Ich Liebe Dich," I repeat, slowly exhaling. She looks at me, waiting for me to say something else. "If anyone-uh-I'm sorry."

She shakes her head, strands of her hair falling in her face. "No, don't be. This is...I'm-I'll be fine."

"And work?" I ask. "Raising a kid?" I add on.

"Which is why I want to quit," she says, crossing her arms again. "It's not like-it's complicated. I want...well, I never thought about kids before," she awkwardly laughs, brushing a strand of hair out of her face. "But now it's...this is happening. And I want to be a good Mutter and I'm more than financially stable, so I'm not afraid about that. I'm just...afraid you'll leave."

I don't know what to say. There's nothing I can say right now that will be a right answer. I do not want this. There was a reason I didn't want to escalate anything to intimate levels with her. But I had orders to carry out. There was a reason I didn't want any of this to start and why I felt so guilty when it first happened. But what I want has nothing to do with this. The person I really am isn't involved in this situation. "Elsa, Engel," I say softly, holding her arms gently. I look her in her eyes and I can see the nervousness. This isn't the best thing to do to her but it's the best thing I can do for this case. "I promise you I will not leave you," I whisper. "But right now, I need to collect my thoughts." I let go of her and take a step back. "I just-I need to think right now."

Panic spreads to her eyes and it stings me. "You're leaving-"

"No," I cut her off. "I just need-I need to process this, I..." Tears well up in her eyes and she lets her breath go. "Elsa, I will come back." I take another step away from her. "Ich verspreche dir," I say. She stands frozen, staring at me and pleading with her eyes to stay. I need to step out for a minute. I need to take a break from right now. I look at her one last time before I turn away, heading toward the front room. She doesn't follow me so I let myself out.

I start running down the steps of her front porch and on the sidewalk. I left my coat inside but I can't feel the cold. The only problem is that I can't catch my breath in the thin air. I need to call Brendon. Or Akari. Akari would be good. They designed this file, they know what's best. But...I need Brendon.

I take my phone out of my pocket, my hands fumbling to hold it and I stare at the black screen. I can't call them on this one. But I don't have anything else. I have no way of contacting them. They're in Salzburg which is way too far to drive to and come back. It would take too long. I don't have much time before I need to go back to her. Maybe an hour or two at the utmost. And it takes three hours to get there. There's a bar not too far from here, that will have to work.

I glance back at my car but I can't drive away. She needs to see that it's still parked outside her house. I start running down the street. My hands are still shaking as I rip the back of my phone off and pull out the battery, putting it in my pocket and then reassembling the phone.

It takes about 20 minutes and by then, my hands and face are windburned and shaking. But the warm atmosphere of the bar is welcoming. The place is full, the soft lights at the counter and a singer on the stage performing. Several groups of people boisterously laughing all around. The drunker, the better.

I go up to a group of people who are loudly celebrating with beer. I take my phone out and then stagger over to one of the guys. Before I can say anything, he whips around and holds up his drink with a dazed smile. "Prost!" he cries out. All his friends take a gulp and start laughing.

"Hey, man," I say in German, slightly slurring it a bit. I place a heavy hand on his shoulder and pretend to regain balance. "My phone died, you think-you think I could borrow yours?"

I hold mine up and click it. It doesn't turn on and he stares at it bewildered. He sets his beer down on the counter and takes it with his hand, pressing the power button. "It's dead," he cries out.

"Yeah, I need to call my girl but-"

He over exaggeratedly shakes his head. "No can do on that one," he says. He takes out his. "Here, use mine."

"Thanks, man," I say, taking it and stepping a way.

One of the girls smiles at me. "Prost!" she cries out.

"Prost," I say back as they all take another round. I step out of the bar and start dialing Brendon's number.

The phone starts ringing but a sudden fear hits me. This is an unregistered number. He's not going to pick up. The phone rings but it eventually clicks. There is no voicemail on our work phones. I redial the number. No luck. I try again and again. The fourth time, he answers on the second ring. "Listen, this is a secure number so stop calling." His voice is low and irritated

"Don't hang up," I whisper.

"Who is this?" he asks.

"Don't say my name," I say in my regular voice. My hands are shaking. "It's me."

"Okay," Brendon says, easing up.

"Yes or no. Are you alone?"

"No," he says.

"Are you with Macy?"

"No." His voice is very neutral.

Okay, that's good. I can't bring Macy into this. At least, not right now. "Akari?"

"Yes."

"Anyone else?"

"No."

"That's fine. I need to talk to you and Akari. But Macy can't know. If it's just you two, bring them over."

There's some muffling in the background and the audio changes. I'm assuming he put me on speaker. "Gerard?" Akari calls.

"I need help," I whisper. "I can't do this, I don't know what to do. I didn't-"

"I know you are disliking this position but I must reassure you-"

"Elsa is pregnant," I murmur.

They go silent. "What?" Brendon whispers.

I glance around the street, focusing on my surroundings. Small snowflakes sprinkle in the air and tumble down the sidewalk and street. "You heard me," I mutter.

"Oh my god," Brendon says. "Wait, did you just leave her?"

"No, no, just-well, she told me and I didn't know how to react," I say, glancing around, "I um, I told her I wasn't mad but I needed to collect my thoughts and I just-just tell me what to do. I don't know what to do. I don't want-I can't do this. So just make it easier and tell me what to do." The others are quiet for a moment and I know they're exchanging glances. I hold my breath, my hand still shaking while holding the phone. "Akari, you made this cover. What would I do?"

I hear them take a heavy breath before speaking. I know what they're about to say and as much as I dread having to hear it, I know it's what I need to be told. "You would...stay with her. And love her."

"Understood," I whisper.

"Gerard," Brendon says cautiously, "are you okay?"

"I need to go, I have something to do." I hang up the phone and close my eyes. On the bright side, it gives one hell of a reason not to break up with me. But when this is all over, we get Kelcer and stop their plans, what happens? This is no longer black and white, good and bad. This is no longer for the greater good but I can't worry about that far in advance. Right now, I need to give the man his phone back and make one more stop before I go back to Elsa's.

Nearly an hour later, I make it back to her house, walking up the steps of her porch. My hands are still shaking and while I know it's not from the cold, I can easily use that as an excuse. I open the door to her house and it slowly opens. The soft light from the front chandelier glowing a yellow hue.

Elsa is sitting on the bottom few steps of the staircase. She perks her head up when I come in, her eyes nearly swollen shut and bloodshot red.

I pause, giving her a small smile. "Angel, don't you cry," I say warmly.

She starts wiping the tears from cheeks, then grabbing the banister to stand up. "You were gone for so long," she says. Her chin begins trembling again and more tears well up in her eyes. The blue color stares at me. "Why did you leave?"

I step over to her, taking hold of her hands. The heat from her skin nearly burns my frigid fingers. "I'm sorry," I whisper. She glances down, sniffling and taking a few breaths before looking back up at me. "I promise I will never leave you again. And-" I lose my breath but I force myself to continue, "and to show you I mean it..." I let go of her hands and exhale, reaching into my pocket. This isn't real. This doesn't mean anything. It's just part of the cover. That's all I can tell myself but it still sinks inside me, weighing me down.

"What are-" Elsa's words fall short as I take the box out of my jacket. She eyes widen, glancing back and forth between me and the ring in my hands.

It's a simple ring, nothing fancy. Sterling silver and not even a real diamond. But German's are not big on engagement rings, most don't even have one. Which is why this is technically a promise ring. With as steady of a voice I can make it, I look at her. "Elsa, I promise I will never leave your side."

Her voice falters for a minute as she's unsure of what to ask. "Are you-is this...are you asking me to marry you?"

"Only if you wish."

A warm smile lingers on her face. She pushes my hand away and throws her arms around me. I embrace her confused, not sure what to do. "I don't need a shiny object. I just need you."

"A metaphor," I whisper. "It's just what it represents."

She pulls away, looking me in the eyes while holding my face. She cracks a smile. "Typical of you to tie English into this." Well, I wasn't thinking of that but it goes with my cover. I don't say anything. Just looking at her and maintaining a smile. "Yes," she smiles, busting into happy laughter. I look at her and do my best to seem happy. She doesn't seem to sense how I truly feel because she starts leaning closer. My eyes fall shut and I let her kiss me. I don't have a choice.