It's all blurry. The smoke and ash clouds the last block to the hotel. Through the grey haze, the red and white flashing lights dimly shine through of the smog. The particles in the air scrape against my throat like shrapnel as I inhale it. Sirens blare around, echoing louder and louder. The hotel blew up. Half of the building is all ruble and the other half is still coming down while ablaze.

I stop, trying to catch my breath but the debris starts filtering in my lungs and I can't breathe. What happened? A bomb went off, it had to. The CIA had suspicions but what happened? They had suspicious so they sent extra agents. They sent Johnny. Where is he? Where are the others? Akari and Macy and all the other agents. Are they all dead? Maybe they made it out, maybe they were on the side of the building that's still standing. What if they're trapped under the rubble? Or they're already dead? Brendon, thank god he flew back to the States. Thank god for Sarah to keep him alive. One less life I need to worry about losing.

It's burning hot, the ground ablaze, flames shooting out of crevasses of debris. I yank off my scarf, coughing up from the smoke, and quickly tie it over my nose and mouth. Heat prickles down my back and a hot flash runs through my body. I start unfastening my coat, trying to stop myself from burning up. I don't know what to do. This doesn't happen. We're careful, we don't leave traces, we don't get caught. Because if you get caught, you die. If you get caught, things like this happen.

Does this mean Kelcer is onto us? It can't be just some terrorist attack. I mean, the news will cover it like one but I know that this is no coincidence. Extreme prejudice. We were only stationed in half a dozen rooms. How many civilians got hurt? How many are dead?

My eyes are burning and I can barely walk through anymore without collapsing. It's getting hotter, harder to breathe, harder to find sturdy ground. I don't have a plan, which probably is going to get me injured or killed. Maybe I deserve this. I was supposed to here with them. I should have been here. I could have helped them, I could have done something. I was getting distracted.

A crackling ruptures from the remaining part of the building. All I see is large cinder block tumbling down, more ash and debris exploding into the air and being cloudier. I cover my eyes as it comes crashing down. Through the sounds of the collapsing building and sirens, I hear screaming. I try scoping out which direction it's coming from but it echoes. It's a girl, high pitch. Someone's here. I hike over a large pipe laying on the ground and get to the other side. The ground is burning, my hands sear from catching myself. I don't know where I'm going, I could be getting farther away. I can't see anything. If I were to extend my hand out in front of me, I couldn't see it, the grey smoke and ash conceal everything. I can barely notice the ground.

It's louder. I'm either getting closer or she's screaming more. I shuffling along, tripping and stumbling. It's not Macy. I know it's not. Maybe Agent Dale or Finnery or...someone. I know someone is here. It's right here, their crying and screaming right here. The sound piercing into my head. I hear them, I know they're right here but I can't see anything. I can't see.

I trip over something, my leg caught on something and I fall down. The ground it burning, I wince out. I scurry back trying to see what it was. The smoke is concealing the ground, my eyes are tearing up and blurring my vision. I feel around, my hands skimming over the ground when something latches onto my wrist. Tiny fingers wrap around my hand I widen my eyes, seeing a small, frighten face underneath the ruble. It's a child. Screaming and sobbing. She's petrified. And she's stuck under burning rubble.

I frantically take off my coat, the heat searing as my thin dress shirt does no good at shielding me from the heat. I place my coat against the rubble and start pushing it. For a moment, nothing budges and I worry that I won't be able to get her out. But all at once, everything slides forward and crashes off her. I collapse on the ground, trying to breathe but there's no oxygen around.

"Come on," I choke out, "let's go." She's wearing a swimsuit and her feet around bare. She kicks the loose rocks off her legs and holds her hands up. This child has burns all over her skin. Blood trickling down her legs and her feet gashed up. I try lifting her up but I can't, I can't breathe, I can't carry her.

Something touches my shoulder and I whip around, seeing a large figure standing over me. They reach down and pick up the child, hoisting her on their shoulder and holding her with one of his arms. They grab my arm with their other hand and slowly hoist me to my feet. "Can you walk?" their voice muffled over their gas mask. I can barely breathe, I can't even talk. I look at them nodding slowly. They turn, still holding my arm and walk in the other direction. I'm too weak to argue, I just follow him shuffling along, barely keeping up.

Slowly, it starts clearing up, he guides me over to a few paramedics and I collapse on the ground gasping for air. He walks over and takes the child over to an ambulance. I reach for the scarf over my face but I'm too weak to tug it down. One of the paramedics takes it off for me and puts an oxygen mask on my face. I choke up, deeply gasping for air. "You're okay," she tells me in German. My eyes are burning and I still feel like I'm on fire. I weakly shake my head but she puts a hand on the side of my face. Her skin feels cold compared to mine. "You're okay."

I close my eyes, breathing deeply for a few minutes, trying to focus on that. "I'm good," I tell her, pushing her hand away but she doesn't move. She's probably thinking I need more but it's fine. I glance around and see the paramedics wheeling someone on a gurney. Burns covering their face and ash covering their body but I know it's Akari. "Akari!" I scream, jumping up to my feet and pushing the woman off me. She calls after me in German but I keep running. My head starts rushing and I know I'm tipping sideways but I don't care. "Akari!"

I get over to them when a firefighter stops me. "Sir, I need you to stop," they say in German.

"Please," I reply back, "I know this person." I watch them start wheeling them away. My heart starts beating faster. Their eyes are closed and they have an oxygen mask on. They're in really bad shape, bleeding head and burns everywhere.

"We're taking him to the hospital," they say.

"They're alive?" I start breathing faster, the air is getting thinner. I can't catch my breath.

"Currently, but we need to stabilize him." They load them into the ambulance and the paramedics start getting their equipment ready.

"Them," I mutter under my breath. My head is still spinning and I start toppling forward.

"Stop, careful," the paramedic catches my shoulder and steadies me. "I told you not to move," she tells me. Slowly, she lowers me to the ground and puts the oxygen mask back over my face. I take a breath and ease up. This may be a problem if I can't breathe. I glance up and I see Frank. I choke up seeing him. "You're okay," she says, putting a hand on my shoulder. "Deep breathe."

I weakly inhale, staring at him. He's walking toward me with a panicked expression. "I'm okay," I tell her. She's not going to buy that one.

"Harris!" someone calls out. The woman glances to the left. "We need you." I look over. The child that I found is lying on the gurney in front of him.

"You take it easy," she says, leaving me with the breathing mask and runs over to the others. I lower it off my face but as soon as I do, it becomes harder to breathe. What's wrong with me?"

"Gerard?" Frank kneels down next to me and puts a hand on my shoulder. My eyes are still watering, my hands shaking as I press the masking against my face but I can't hold it still. "Gerard, it's okay," he says, gently taking it from me and holding it for me. He keeps his hand on my back, holding the mask. "Just breathe, one, two, tree, in. One, two, three, out." I close my eyes, listening to Frank.

The firefighters are still at the scene, still trying to recover survivors. News castors are all over the perimeter reporting the bombing as a terrorist attack. We still don't know what happened. After I'm cleared, I start leaving but Frank has stayed with me. I don't know what to do about him. I mean, I don't owe him an explanation for the bombing but I do owe him one for my reaction, why I left him, why I ran in. But I don't have time for him right now. I can't be distracted. I need to focus, I need to find my team. But our base was just blown up. There's no meeting place, no location to gather at. I've got nothing on what to do. Akari is still alive, last time I saw them. That could have changed but I haven't heard from anyone else. What if everyone else is dead? What do I do?

I keep walking down the sidewalk, keeping moving forward. I have no destination in mind so we keep walking. And Frank walks at my side, not asking any questions, just walking with me. "Do you have someplace to be?" I ask finally. My voice is slightly raspy but I ignore it.

"Not today," he replies. "What's going on?"

"I don't know," I say.

"Where are you going?"

"I don't know."

He gives a nervous chuckle. "How do you not know? What? Are you just aimlessly walking forward?" I don't say anything and Frank shuts down.

My phone starts ringing and I frantically take it out of my pocket. Frank looks at me a bit started as I whip around to get it. Macy. I quickly answer it. "Hello?"

"Way," she says solemnly.

"Oh my god, you're alive, are you okay?" I ask.

"Yeah, I wasn't in the building, I was out. You're okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," I say. "What's going on? Where are you?"

"I'm at the hospital," she says. "I'm with Akari, they're stable."

My eyes start watering. "They're okay? They're alive?" Macy hesitates for a moment. "Mace?"

"Akari is paralyzed from the waist down," he says. I freeze up. "They'll be in a wheelchair for the rest of their life."

Something drops inside me. "What?" I whisper.

"They wanted to see you," she says. "They asked if I was able to get a hold of you and they want to see you. I also have other news that shouldn't be delivered over the phone."

I tense up, knowing that there are agents dead. "Have you talked to anyone else?"

"I just got here, I don't know anyone else's condition," she says. "Are you coming?"

"Yeah," I say. "What's the room?"

"I'll meet you in the lobby." She hangs up the phone and I sigh, lowering it.

"Is...everything-"

"No," I say sharply. "My company was staying at that hotel," I say.

Frank looks at me sorrowfully. "Is everyone okay?"

I shake my head. "No," I sigh. "It was the morning, most of my colleagues were still inside." I look at him softly. "Frank, I appreciate everything you did for me and...well, I enjoyed the morning beforehand. I'm-"

"Yeah, I get it, don't worry," he says. "You'll be okay, right?"

"Hopefully," I tell him.

"Well, goodbye," he says, standing awkwardly, shuffling back to leave. I don't say anything because I don't want to say goodbye. He glances down, turning around and walks away. I really like him. He's a good person, innocent, kind, endearing. But he's a distraction. I can't focus on work, on this case with him around. And after today, I know this won't be safe. Akari's hurt. I don't want to think about who might be dead. All these people I care about, this life is dangerous and we need to be focused at all times to avoid things like this. I know this isn't Frank's fault. In fact, without him, I never would have left the hotel today and I might even be dead. But today was just luck. Tomorrow might be different. I can't see Frank anymore. I really like him but I can't do this.

I tap my hand against the side of my leg. Don't do it...there's no one around. It's not worth it. But... "Frank, wait," I call out, catching up to him.

He turns around and I take hold of his arms. "Is everything okay?" he asks looking at me shocked.

I hang my head low. "Frank, I really like you," I tell him. "Thank you for everything but...because of everything that just happened and what's going to be going on, I know that it's not a good idea to see you again."

"What?" his voice breaks and he looks at me softly.

"I'm...not going be able to see you for a while, it's just because of everything and what we have to take care of. My mind will be elsewhere and I'll be distracted. So this...this really is goodbye." Frank parts his lips, looking at me hurt. "You're staying until spring break?" The gleam in his eyes flickers away. "Frank?"

"Huh? Yeah, I leave in...in the spring."

"Okay," I say, squeezing his arms reassuringly, "then I'll call you before you leave Austria but...please, understand why I have to do this."

"Yeah, yeah, I get it," he says. I can see the sad expression in his eyes and it breaks my heart. "It's just the way things are."

I look at him sympathetically. "I don't want to do this but I have to. And I really do like you, Frank." He nods his head, glancing away. I don't think he understands that I mean it the same way he does. I pull him close to me and kiss him.

Frank stiffens up, pulling away from me. "Wait...you-you like actually?" I let go of his arms and look at him sweetly. "Wait, I was not-no, redo." He steps closer and I kiss him again and he's more responsive this time.

I get to the hospital and I see Macy in the lobby. Her eyes light up as soon as she spots me, standing up to greet me. She does the unexpected and throws her arms around me. "Way, thank god you're alive," she says.

"You as well," I say, hugging her back. I think this is the first time she's made human contact more than just a handshake.

She steps back and adjusts her blouse. "Akari wanted to see you." I expect her to take me to the elevator but we take the stairs instead. The stairwell is empty and she checks it before we start heading up. The smoke still took a toll on me because, after 2 flights, I'm hyperventilating to breathe. Macy waits for me patiently. I'm surprised she's not yelling at me to pick it up. But considering my shirt is grungy and my face is probably still a mess, she understands my conditions.

Painfully, we make it to the 6th floor. "Akari's here?" I ask.

"All our agents are on this floor," she says. Macy puts a hand on my shoulder and we stop. "Before we go in, I need to speak with you." I look at her, still trying to catch my breath. She guides me over the row of chairs lined up against the wall. She keeps her hand on my shoulder as we sit down. "As of now, we've been reported three of our agents are dead." I look at her solemnly. "Agent Ross and Agent Finnery's remains have been recovered and are being sent home for their families."

"Ryan and Karen?" I whisper. Macy looks at me solemnly. Karen was an only child. I knew her well. Her family was really proud of her. She's gone. And I don't know Ryan well but Brendon was close to him. "Who um...who else?"

Macy glances down. "I spoke with Akari. They informed me they saw Maxx die."

"What?" I cry out. I sit back in the sit, holding my head. "Are you sure? Maybe he's-did you find a body? Are you sure?"

"The bomb destroyed half of the building. He ran to go disarm it but...he didn't finish in time. A detonation that powerful would have incinerated his remains." I fall back, unable to process this. Johnny's gone. My memory traces back to when he came to the hotel. Either I'm right or suddenly it's not my problem anymore. If he knew what would happen, knowing him, he probably would have still said that. "We don't know if he spoke to the virologist yet and all their laptops have been destroyed. But we're going to work on recovering what we can."

Macy finishes debriefing me and I go into Akari's room. They're sleeping, probably on a lot of drugs. Their face is cleaned up so it's not as bad as how I saw them on the gurney. I take out my phone and call Brendon.

"Hello?" he groans after several rings.

I take a breath. "Have you seen the news?" I ask.

He sighs. "Um, uh, well, for you, I know it's day but here, it's still very early morning so no. What's going on?"

"The hotel's been bombed."

There's a long pause on the phone. "What?"

"There was a bombing at the hotel."

"Oh, god, casualties?"

"Finnery...Ross...Johnny," I whisper. "Other agents are still missing. Akari is stable but...they're paralyzed." Brendon doesn't say anything for a long time, taking it in. "Macy's okay. Toro is stable. But we lost all the computers and any files we had on Kelcer."

"I'm flying in," he finally says.

"Are you okay?" I ask.

"I don't think it's hit me," he says weakly. "Not truly. I need to pack though and Sarah's still asleep but I'll get here as soon as I care."

"Okay," I tell him. "And...I know this really isn't the time but...Sarah?"

"She said yes," he says in a slightly more upbeat tone. "We're getting married in the summer, which may be soon but we don't want a big wedding."

"Am I invited?" I tease.

"You think I'm not going to invite my best man?" I pause for a moment slightly surprised. "Which reminds me, do you want to be my best man?"

"I'd be honored," I say.

"I'll make a note of that. But anyway, I'll see you probably late tonight."

"Actually, maybe tomorrow," I tell him. "Because of the attack, Macy thinks this is some test. She ordered me to see Elsa tonight and act nothing more than a concerned citizen."

"You know, that's probably a good idea," he says. "But be careful, okay?"

"You too," I say, hanging up the phone. I have a few hours before I need to get ready. I need to get all the replacements set up but Akari usually does that. Macy asked Stump to fill in for them tonight which will have to suffice. Tonight is supposed to a surprise early 3 month anniversary. Has it really been 3 months already? I pause thinking back. I know what I need to do and I'm dreading it already. I'm supposed to tell Elsa I love her.