It was dark but I could hear tiny footsteps pit-patting closer along with a heavy set of boots followed by the rustling of sheets in the bed next to me. I turned over on my side, my arm still above my head. One of our instructors tucked her in, taking her arm and placing it above her head as well. The metal clanked against the bed frame for a moment then stopped as they let go. The instructor turned around and walked down the corridor, passing the rows and rows of beds.

I waited until they left and could no longer head the heavy boots. "Zoya?"

"What?" she softly cried.

"Where were you?" I asked.

She whimpered for a moment. "Mother hurt me again."

I paused. No friends. No attachments. But I couldn't help but feel sorry for her. She was always kind to me but it was because she liked me. That wasn't allowed either but she confessed anyway. I didn't know if I liked her back. We weren't allowed to. But secrets were fun to keep. Dangerous and life-threatening. And fun. "Mother wants you to get better," I told her. With my free hand, I reached over to her free hand. She looked up at me with teary eyes. "You will be survivor. Promise me you will be one to make it out and return with honor."

"I don't know if I can-"

"Yes, you can," I cut her off. I extend my hand further, my other wrist starting to hurt from leaning out of bed so far. "Promise me."

With the little light we have, I could see a faint smile form. "I promise," she whispered, taking hold my hand with a squeeze.

I snap awake, sharply inhaling. I sit up slowly, looking around the room while taking a slow breath. I am in Elsa's bedroom. I am in Elsa's house in Vienna, Austria. The clock says it's 7:12 in the morning. Saturday morning. I glance around the room. My clothes are on the floor, our shoes in the doorway. Elsa steps out of the bathroom wearing a maroon suit. Elsa. She's my assignment and my cover's girlfriend. I personally don't trust her but she trusts me. For now, I'm safe. Everything is fine.

"Guten Morgen, Engel," I say, putting on a smile.

"Mmm, guten Morgen," she says back with a happy smile. She steps over toward me and crawls on the bed. I look at her endearingly and she kisses me. "It's still early, darling, you should go back to sleep."

"Ah, where are you heading?" I ask, tilting my head to the side.

She stands back up, straightening out her clothes. "I have to run an errand for work real quick. I don't expect it to take long so I'll be back soon." She leans down and kisses me on the lips and I kiss her back. "Bis bald," she says before stepping out of the room. Her keys jingle as she picks them on her way down the stairs.

I lay back down and pulling the sheets up. After a moment, the door squeezes open and slams shut followed by the faint clicking of her locking up. I close my eyes and finally relax. I hate this. I hate this. I can't do this.

I know it's better to be me than Brendon but I don't want to do this again. Elsa's gone. I don't know how long I have but I really want to shower right now, get the feeling off me. I can't though. I can shower back at the hotel. I'm just going to have to ignore it the best I can for now.

I get out of bed and grab my pants, hastily putting them back on. This is better. I grab my undershirt and pull it over my head. That'll do for now. I go over to the nightstand and grab the cellphone Akari gave me. I start heading down the stairs and turn down the hallway. The only room I haven't really gone in is the one at the end of the hall. I did try to open it once but it was locked.

I kneel down in front of the door and peel off the cellphone case, taking out the lockpick. It takes two tries but I get it to turn and I open the door. It's her office. There's a beautiful wood desk with a glass top covering the mahogany surface. Several steal filing cabinets that I'm assuming are all locked. There are several large windows but the blinds are all drawn. The translucent fabric still allows plenty of light coming through.

I shut the door behind me and go over to the desk where her computer is. Dual monitors, the printer resting on top of the computer box itself. I take out the cell phone and pull out the USB cord, plugging it in next to the mouse cord. The screen turns on and a bunch of coding files across it. In the corner are the percentages scrolling through the screen. 0.01% 0.02%. This may take a while. I get up and start investigating around the room. It's very simple here. Grape walls, the same floor as the hallway. File cabinets lining the draws. I walk over toward the side of the room. If I were to assume where she'd keep her personal weapons, they'd be in here. Well, I wouldn't be shocked if she didn't have weapons in every room of the house. But in here, this is where a lot of them would be. I pull on a few file cabinets except they're all locked. Probably just paper copies of shipment information. Why else would she have filing cabinets? I check the percentage. 1.85% Aw jeez.

I investigate around the room some more, checking out the desk. I look under the desk and there's a small panel. Pushing the chair away, I get on my hands and knees. I move the panel out of the way. Glock. Okay, found one. I'm sure there's more. I put it back to how it was and get up. I sit back in the chair, staring ahead. The floor is wood and there's a multicolored rug laying just past the doorway.

I start to smirk to myself, getting out of the chair. Elsa isn't really a rug person. There aren't any in her house beside the bathrooms. But those are bathrooms. I bend down and lift up the corner. There's a panel there. I fold the rug halfway back, revealing the whole panel. I carefully lift it out of place and see a .45 and several knives. Well, she's well equipped. I'm assuming she can use the knives just as well as the guns. I put the panel back the same way and unfold the rug exactly where it was. Alright, I feel accomplished. Granted, I have been seeing her for over a month and I'm just now finding where she has her weapons. Then again, I haven't looked until just now.

Nearly an hour later, the cell phone completes the scan and beeps. I go over and start unplugging it, making sure not move the mouse or shift anything else from its place, pushing the chair back in as I start heading to the door. I start wrapping the wire in place and tucking it back into its sock. I peel the case off and take out the lockpick. As I reach for the handle, I hear a click. The front door creaks opened and I hear her heels scuffling against the tiles. I glance at my watch. It's 9:00 so she's back now. This is not good.

I slowly back away from the door. She just did an errand. There's a good chance she's coming in here right now. She'll ask how I got in. I can't say it was opened. Why was I in here? The best I got is nosy boyfriend. That's not very believable. I haven't really played it off as being the nosy type. And also, she'll get mad and that is not the objective. Suddenly, there are creaks coming from the ceiling. She's going upstairs. She thinks I'm still upstairs.

Quietly, I turn the handle of the door and peek down the hall. She's not down here. I slip out of the room and shut the door behind me, keeping the handle turned so it doesn't click and slowly turning it back to resting position. I lock the door and back away.

"Gerard?" she calls from upstairs. I glance up. She's not in the hallway, she's in the bedroom. I back into the library and fall into the chair facing away from the front door so she wouldn't have seen me coming in. Okay, I made it out of there, that was fine. It's fine. I grab the nearest book off the table and hold it in my hands. She walks out of the bedroom and starts coming down the stairs. She would ask why I didn't say anything when she came in. I fall limp in the chair with the book resting in my hand loosely and close my eyes. Her light footsteps tiptoeing over. I do my best to ease my breathing but my heart is racing still from almost getting caught. "Gerard?" she coos, running her fingers across my cheek.

I pretend to stir, opening my eyes. "Oh, hi," I mumble, taking a deep breath. I sit up in the chair, gripping the book in my hand. "You're back already."

"I told you I wouldn't be gone long," she giggles. She tilts her head to the side, narrowing her eyes. "Fahrenheit 451."

"Huh?" I glance down at the book. "Oh, yeah, I was reading it again. Um, before I fell asleep."

Elsa curls up in my lap, draping her arms around my neck. "Why don't you read me some?"

"You want to start over?" I ask.

She shakes her head. "No, just continue where you were."

I smile at her, opening the book to where my thumb was and I start reading a random paragraph.

I make a good chunk into the book, Elsa curled up in the chair with me and reading together. It's been a few hours since she got back.

"Live as if you'd drop dead in ten seconds. See the world. It's more fantastic than any dream made or paid for in factories. Ask no guarantees, ask for no security, there never was such an animal. And if there were, it would be related to the great sloth which hangs upside down in a tree all day every day, sleeping its life away. To-"

A loud banging breaks the soft atmosphere and we both snap up. Someone's pounding on her front door. I restrain myself from reaching for my hip, a usual reflex even when nothing's there. I glance at Elsa but she is fixated on the front door. She hops off my lap and starts leaving the library. "Stay here," she says.

I sit up in the chair, setting the book down and try listening. There's angry arguing in German. "What are you doing here showing up in my home?"

"You weren't done for the day," a male voice replies.

"I'm done when I say I'm done."

I slowly stand up as Elsa and the man continue arguing. I and since she's trying to keep is quieter but it's not really working. "Engel?" I call out. I glance up and see Elsa standing in the doorway. And a man. Tall, brown hair slicked back with a few grey strands, built physic, dressed formally in a tie. My blood runs cold. Kelcer is on her front steps. I freeze, glancing away from him and looking at her.

"Wait in the library," she says in German.

"Who is this man?" Kelcer asks also in German. I tense up, noting Kelcer is eyeing me in my peripheral vision. I softly smile at Elsa, not sure what to do. She shoots me a glance, gesturing for me to go back. Kelcer is right there. He saw me before. That was nearly two months ago, was it? I was following after him and that's when a shooter tried to take me out. But Frank got in the way.

"Go to the library," Elsa snaps.

"We're not done talking," Kelcer says, taking a step into her house.

"Excuse me," I cut in. They both look at me. I don't know what I'm doing but I need to do something. "Who are you?"

Kelcer smiles but Elsa answers me before he can say anything. "He's a colleague of mine," she says bitterly. "It seems we haven't finished up from this morning."

I take a breath. Not to bail on her but the longer I stay, the more likely he'll remember me. "Well, I wouldn't want to intrude so I may leave now."

"No," she says gently, putting a hand up, "it's really-"

"Why, thank you for your understanding," Kelcer cuts in. I give a nod and then start walking closer toward them to get to the stairs.

I go to her room and quickly put on the rest of my clothes and grabbing my shoes, tying them. I head downstairs carrying my jacket and I walk out of the front. "Well, good day," I say to her and then glancing at Kelcer with a nod. Elsa stands back firmly. I narrow my eyes at her and she gives the slightest tilt of her head signifying no. I don't kiss her in front of him. I head out, putting my jacket on and taking the car keys out of the pocket. As I walk to the car, I don't hear the front door close. I know they're still watching me.

I drive back to Salzburg and I get to the hotel. Frantically, I get to the room. I walk in and see Brendon holding his suitcase on the bed and it looks like he's packed. "Hey, you're back already," he says, turning around.

"I-yeah," I say, glancing at his luggage. "You leaving?" I joke.

"Yeah, actually I am," he says.

I look up at him confused. "You're kidding, right?" He gives me a guilty smile. "Brendon, no, why? How?"

He sets his bags down and puts a hand on my shoulder, walking me away from the door. "I requested a few days off of leave."

"What? And Macy approved?" I ask, brushing his hand off his shoulder.

He looks at me warily but still keeps a smile on. "Gerard, we've been in Austria for months and we're just on a case with no imminent threat or any obligations connected to me. I'm still on 24-hour call but I can go back to the states for a few days. If something happens, you'll call me in. That's if something happens though." I stare at him trying to get that in my head. We've been separated before but things were different then. He's my partner and my best friend. I really need him here. "Hey, Gee?" he says softly, "is everything okay?"

"Why do you have to go?" I ask, sitting down on the bed and holding my head in my heads.

Brendon looks at me softly, walking over toward me. "For the record, I'm leaving to take some personal days, using them while they're there. For my best friend, I'll tell you I'm going to see Sarah." He sits down next to me and his weight shifts the mattress. "I'm going to propose to her."

I sit up and look at him. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah, I got a ring and everything." I can't help but smile, feeling happy for him. "Want to see?"

"Wh-yeah! What kind of question is that?"

"Aight," he says, hopping off the bed and grabbing one of the bags.

He unzips a pouch and shuffles around before pulling out a small box. He walks over and opens it. The light immediately catches the sparkling metal. It's a dazzling rose gold ring with a pearl in the center. "Oh my god, it's beautiful," I say. I glance up at him with a smile. "If she won't marry you, I will."

Brendon chuckles, looking at the ring again. "I hope she'll marry me. But, uh, Sarah's was in the Peace Corps."

"Yeah?" I say, glancing up at him.

He nods. "And she's against the blood diamond trade thing...so I got a pearl instead? I'm...I don't know. Also, her high school ring that she wears is rose gold so I figured to make it match."

"Brendon, she loves you, not what you can buy her," I say. "And honestly, the thought you put in will make her love you more." He looks at me with a gleam in his eyes and I stand up and hug him.

"Thanks, man," he says, pulling away. I give him a smile and step back, signing. "But backtracking, are you okay?"

I tense up, raising my hands behind my head and sighing. "It's just-Phh, I don't know."

Brendon's standing with his hands in his pocket looking at me. "You know you can talk to me. Akari and Johnny went to get lunch. It's just me."

"You know how Macy's been getting on my case with the whole...Elsa thing."

Brendon thinks for a moment but shakes his head. "No, you've been doing a good job. It's been two months and-"

"About not sleeping with her," I interrupt.

Brendon's eyes widen. "Oh. Yeah, that she and Akari were...wait." He looks at me and I just stare back at him. "Oh my god."

"I don't know, I just," I sigh, sitting down in the chair. "Just part of the job, right?"

Brendon looks at me worried. As much as he jokes about it with me, I can see he understands my discomfort now. "You didn't want it to come to this though," he says.

"Of course not," I say. "It's one of those things where...It's easy to pretend but...there comes a point where I don't know what's pretend anymore. The lines get blurry and if this keeps going, I'm not sure which side I'll end up on."

"Do you like her?" Brendon asks.

I pause for a minute. "I don't know. I mean, the answer should be no. She's not a good person. But she's still a person and-it's harder to see someone as an enemy when they're no longer a file." Brendon sits down on the chair across from me. "And you're the only one who gets what's going inside my head. You seem to ground me and remind where I am."

Brendon looks at me softly. "I know you hate it when I say this but it's the only advice I can think of. It gets easier with time. Like when you pull back a trigger. You get desensitized. Does it make it right? No, but it makes it easier."

The conversation draws to a close and Brendon heads to the airport. When he leaves, I take a long shower, trying to get the feeling off me. Being intimate doesn't mean intimacy. I don't care about her. It's my job to pretend. And pretending means it's not real. While the water runs over my skin, I keep telling myself I don't like her.

After drying off and redressing, Akari and Johnny come back in. I hand them the cellphone decoy and Akari and Johnny start analyzing the information. While the data is being transferred and processed by the machines, I report back to Akari and they take notes, logging everything it. They're surprised to hear Kelcer stopped by to see Elsa instead of sending a messenger. It does make more sense for him to send someone else like the courier instead of going there in person. Once I finish, I lay on the bed, listening to the two of them go through the files.

"A lot of shipment details," Johnny says.

"She is a weapons dealer. Does this surprise you?" Akari asks.

"I know, but this is mostly shipments," he says. "Hey, is there a way you can filter it out. Like sure, selling machine guns and automatic weapons is wrong but something that we're looking for?"

"An algorithm or something?" they ask. There's typing into the keyboard. "Bee-doe! Got it."

Johnny glances at Akari with a half smile. "I think you mean bingo," he corrects.

"What'd you find?" I ask.

"Well, take out her usual work, there's not much left," they say. "I was expecting explosive devices and C4 but we have..."

"Hazmat suits?" Johnny reads. "This is recent, from two weeks ago. So she just received them."

"Hazmat?" I ask, sitting up. "Are they dealing with plutonium?"

"Let us hope not," Akari mutters. "I would much prefer not dealing with nuclear bomb material again."

"Awe, jeez," I mutter under my breath. "What else?"

Johnny shakes his head. "It's a bunch of coding in emails." He points to the screen. "It's a list but I don't know what."

"Go back to the hazmats," I say. "Read the details of the order."