So you've been going out with this guy for some time, and you think he's hunky dory.

There's just one catch.

Your mom and dad cannot with him.

I mean, they can't stand him.

Let's dissect this, shall we?

(PS: My real-life father's name is "Jim" so I borrowed it! Thanks Dad!)

-"I'm bringing Gon over for dinner tonight, okay, Mom?"

-Your dad grumbles. "Not that goody-goody kid again."

-Your mom chides him: "Oh, Jim, he's not that bad. Yes, he's a little on the hard-to-take side after a while, but at least he's pleasant, unlike the last one she was dating"

-"He always smells like he's been rolling around at the pound. Does he have a dog or something? Or does he just live outdoors?"

-"Oh no, you aren't bringing Killua over tonight, are you?"

-"What could you possibly find wrong with Killua, Mom?"

-"Every time he comes over here, all our sheets and towels and carpets and darn near everything is coated in static electricity. It drives me nuts. Maybe his mother needs to try a different kind of dryer sheet when she's doing the laundry."

-"They're like, rich, Mom. The mom doesn't do laundry"

-"Well maybe the maid needs to try a different dryer sheet. Maybe you should tell her next time you're over there."

-"Okay Mom, I'll do that"

-Your dad lifts an eyebrow. "I'm not too keen on him either. Kid's got an attitude. Who's he trying to prove himself to, anyway?"

-"Oh, Lord, not him tonight? I can never pronounce his name correctly," your mom frets. "How do you say it again, Jim?"

-"Pooka?" says your dad. "That kid is too damn serious for his own good. He needs to lighten up a hair or two."

-"Dad, he's a very deep person! He's had a difficult life. Leave him alone"

-"Dinner's going to be a ball tonight," your dad grumbles

-"Oh, yes, speaking of hair, dear," your mom says. "Pooka has such beautiful eyes. Now I know he has such nice pretty blond hair too, but you should talk to him about trimming it a little. I do hate it when boys have all that hair hanging in their eyes."

-"This the kid who is studying to be a doctor?" your dad says. "I like him, but the last time he was over, he drank six beers"

-"You offered them to him, Jim," your mother reminds him

-"I kept offering them because I wanted to see how flippin' many he'd take," your father snaps back

-"Please do not tell me you are bringing Mr. Fruitcake over for dinner tonight," your dad groans

-"Oh, Dad, you're so old-fashioned. Just because he has weird-colored hair..."

-"Every time he comes over, I want to give him a testosterone shot in the ass and force him to watch the NFL draft straight through without commercial breaks," your dad grumbles. "You're not going to convince me that boy isn't a bit light in his loafers."

-"I don't know, Jim," pipes up your mom. "I think he...how did we used to say it back in the day? He swings both ways?"

-"Great, just what I always wanted for my daughter. That's what I always told your mom when you were growing up, honey--I want a nice boy who swings both ways for my little girl. "

-"I take it back what I said about Pooka, bring him back over, at least he doesn't wear makeup"

-"Has he cut that hair yet?"

-"No, Mom. He hasn't cut his hair, and he's not going to"

-"I've never seen a boy with hair that long"

-"Why does it bother you so badly?"

-"I don't know, I always imagine it like, accidentally getting into his food or something--" your mother shudders

-"Who are we talking about?" calls your dad. "Oh, My Little Pony? Mr. Kentucky Derby?

-"You have to admit his hair is kind of unsanitary, Jim"

-"Oh, whatever, lend him one of your scrunchie things at dinner, he's not that bad. At least he just sits there and keeps his mouth shut"

-"Dear," your mom says, confidentially. "Just try to get him to get a little trim? I mean, he has such pretty eyes! I hate when boys have all that hair hanging in their eyes..."

-"Oh, the good-looking one. That's the one you're inviting over tonight?"

-"That guy," snorts your dad. "He always struck me as a little too full of himself"

-"Now Jim," answers your mom. "He is very mannerly and well-spoken. I think he's a nice, polite boy; he always looks well put-together, doesn't have that long hair like what's-his-face...."

-"Why does he wear a scarf around his head all the time?" grumbles your dad. "His brains going to fall out, or something, if he takes that off?"

-"Well, yes," muses your mom. "I'm not crazy about his earrings, either, but you know the boys these days, they wear those kinds of things...we don't want to seem hopelessly outdated, dear"

-Your dad snorts again. "It's those quiet, slick ones you gotta watch out for. I wouldn't be surprised if that one was a serial killer behind our backs."

-"The little shrimpy kid is coming over for dinner?"

-"Dad, please, that's not nice. Don't make fun of his height, he can't help being short"

-Your mother agrees. "Don't be so rude, Jim. But I do have to say. You should tell him that wearing all that black just washes him out. He would do better to maybe try a little color...when's his birthday? I'll buy him a nice sweater. Red would be just his color, don't you think?"

-"Why does the kid always have a mask on? Didn't he get vaccinated yet?"

-"Dad! It's sort of a fashion statement, that's all"

-"Well good. I'm glad he's not going to blow any germs on me at dinner. Also, what country is that kid from? He sure isn't from around here"

-"You can't possibly find anything wrong with Shal," you tell your parents.

-"No, he's a lovely boy," says your mother. "No hair in his eyes, very sweet, good-looking, such a nice young man. Don't you think, Jim?"

-"He reminds me of Eddie Haskell," growls your dad.