New Year's Eve is the strangest time. It's the end of the year yet there is still a tomorrow. A lot of things change within a year. Last New Year's Eve, I never would have believed I would be here. I wouldn't have been able to comprehend the friends I would make, the life I would have. Even back in September, I didn't picture myself here.

I'll be going to Jenna's house soon, Gerard offered to drive me. I still can't believe everything that's been going on with him. I had no idea he had a brother but that explains who the bass belongs to. Mikey. Cody is the only one who knew about Mikey, and the only one who's ever met him. The others don't know, not even Jenna. The only reason I know is because I saw. Had things played out a little different Saturday, I doubt Gerard would've told me.

The two of us got in the car and drove to my house. Mikey was home, they've been trying to get him out of the hospital since treatment is working, getting him adjusted to home again. That's why he didn't want anyone over for some time, because Mikey was home. He's been in and out but last weekend, he was at home and collapsed, they couldn't get him to respond. Everything happened so fast and now Mikey is back at the hospital.

Gerard came over and he told me everything, or at least a lot. I don't think he planned on but once he started opening up, he couldn't really stop. Mikey was diagnosed four years ago when he 9 years old. He and Gerard were very close and it hit him hard. Mikey's condition has been fluctuating over time with treatment. Some days, it looks like he won't make it through the weak while others give him hope of being cured. Right now, it's too soon to tell what his condition is. Gerard's afraid to get his hopes up in case the worse happens.

He asked me to not tell anyone. I promised him I wouldn't, even without him telling me not to, I wouldn't have. Gerard and I were in my room talking. More like he was talking and I was listening to him. Slowly, things make more sense, why he does certain things, the bitterness in his voice, why he doesn't have a lot of hope in the world. Gerard laid back on my bed, curling up next to my waist. He ended up drifting off, his eyes drooping from crying so much, but he continued talking. He started babbling at one point, right before he passed out. "You know, Frankie, there's so many things out there in the world, it's crazy to think things we did years ago have an impact on where we are today. And to think that what we do now has an impact on our future." He fell asleep shortly after.

Gerard replies to my text. -Yeah, I'm ready. Coming by now- I sit up on my bed and grab my overnight bag, tossing the strap over my shoulder.

Heading downstairs, my father is in the kitchen. "Leaving?"

"Yeah, staying at Cody's house," I say.

"I won't see you until next year," he jokes. I smile lightly, grabbing my coat. "No drinking, and if you do, don't do anything stupid."

"There won't any drinking but I can't guarantee no stupid," I call out. I put my shoes on and head out. It's cold, the sun long set. It's snowing in big flakes and it's rather pretty. I start walking down the sidewalk toward Gerard's house. I haven't seen him since everything that happened after Hayley's birthday. He crashed at my house for the night just to stay with someone while his parents were out at the hospital. I haven't seen him since he left that morning. I start walking down the street briskly, keeping an eye out at Gerard's car.

Eventually, I cross over and walk into his driveway as his front door opens. Gerard walks out with the keys in his hand. Glancing up, he sees me and falters. "Oh, you didn't have to walk, I would have picked you up."

I smile and give a shrug. "Yeah but I'm here now." He smiles back and unlocks the car door. "Happy New Year's Eve," I say.

He smiles back at me. "Happy New Year's Eve," he says too. "Not sure if that what's what you say, usually it's at midnight when you say something." He starts the car and backs out of the driveway.

"How is...everything?" I ask gently. I might as well talk about it while I can. No point in bringing it up at Jenna's house, even if it's just the two of us together.

"Uh, it's, um, fine," he says. I glimpse at him, waiting for him to tell me something genuine. "Mikey is back to square one with treatment so he won't be home again for a while." His voice is dry as he talks. I put my hand on his shoulder and realize how tense he is. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" I ask. I mean, I kind of know where this is going.

"For last Saturday. And everything before. I didn't know how to tell you."

"It's okay, you...don't owe me anything." He glances at me softly. "And I won't tell the others."

"Thank you." It falls quiet but it doesn't become awkward. The silence is shared. Gerard switches on the radio and flips to a music station. Increasing the volume, I recognize the song and my heart skips a beat. "Hey, it's our song," Gerard says with a smirk.

"Yeah, you're right," I say. The two of us start singing along to "Thinking Out Loud".

When we ring the doorbell at Jenna's house, there's a yip-yip barking coming inside. Jenna opens the door with a bright smile. "Hey, guys!" she says, letting us in and then giving hugs.

On the second floor at the banister, I see Cody sitting on the floor with Amelia holding a puppy. "You have a doggo!" I squeal.

Jenna glaces back at the others. "Mateo, he's basically Cody's son now." The lot of us go upstairs to the rec room. Cody holds Mateo in his arms. He's a small puppy, brown fur tiny paws. Brendon and Patrick are here already playing the racing car game.

"Hey, guys," Gerard says.

Patrick looks back and waves but Brendon is fixated on the screen. "Hold on, I will say hi after I win," he says.

"Looks like you have your priorities set," Gerard says, sitting down between them. "What do you mean after you win? You're driving the wrong way!"

"Shh, it's fine," Brendon says.

"You just crashed into the cop cars chasing you," I say.

"I said it's fine! I meant to do that." The screen zooms in on Patrick's car as he finishes the course. "Alright, maybe next time," he mutters.

The FM radio is on, the DJ talking about the top 100 songs for the year-end countdown. Next to the radio is a list of all the songs so far broadcasted. "You keeping track?" I ask.

Jenna glances at the list. "Oh, yeah. My parents used to do it when they were younger and I guess I'm keeping tradition now." She shrugs. "I don't really listen to half these songs but I like acknowledging it."

"Half the songs that come up are trash and it makes me wonder how they were so popular," Amelia says. "But then the other half are my jam." The next song that comes on is "No Promises" and Jenna writes it down on the list.

"When does the countdown end?" I ask.

"Half an hour before midnight," she replies. The doorbell rings and Mateo starts wagging his tail and barking. Cody holds him while he tries squirming out of his arms to follow Jenna.

"He loves people and he knows that means someone's coming," Cody says laughing. Mateo keeps barking. "Hey, shh, it's okay," he says, petting his head.

"He's so cute, I love dogs," I say.

"You want to hold him?" he asks. My face lights up and he smiles. "I'll take that as a yes."

Cody hands me Mateo and he stops barking to sniff me. "Hey, buddy," I say. He starts licking my cheek and I lean back.

"Hey, Mateo, no licking," Cody says, putting his hand up in front of him. Mateo stops and looks at Cody then back and me.

"I may steal him," I say.

"Same," Patrick says behind me. They've started a new round with Gerard playing with them. "Gerard, stay in your lane, boy!"

"I go where I want to," Gerard mutters, swerving around Patrick.

"He's in front of you!" Brendon cries out. "Ram him!"

"Brendon, do you see the size of his car and the size of mine?" Patrick asks. I glance at their screens. Gerard is racing some large jeep while Patrick as a sedan. "Who do you think would win?"

"You would," Brendon says. Patrick stares at him, waiting for him to elaborate. "You have heart."

Gerard chuckles to himself when a car T-bones him and he screams out. "What! Where did that come from?"

"Go! Go! Go!" Patrick screams. The two of them drive around Gerard's wreckage and pass him.

"What did I walk into?" Lynn asks.

"Anarchy!" Gerard screams.

Lynn nods alone. "I'll come back another time." Jenna walks up behind her and wraps her arms around her waist, giving a kiss on her cheek. "Or not."

The others eventually join us and we eat together. Pizza rolls, pot stickers, mini tacos, and Caesar salad. Hayley brought a fruit tray and powdered sugar cookies. Lynn brought several different bottles of sparkling drinks. On the TV, we have the countdown until midnight playing. Just about 40 minutes left until the new year. We're in the top 10 of songs on the radio now and recently, I've been able to recognize every single on that comes on. Despite not being our usual taste in music, we still have fun dancing. The last few playing, "Praying" by Kesha, "Sign Of The Times" by Harry Styles, and "Water Under The Bridge" by Adele, we were all singing along. When 1-800 by Logic comes on we weren't singing but we're just listening together.

"Hey, guys!" Brendon says, holding the sparkling grape juice bottle in one hand and a cookie in another. "Champagne and cocaine," he says giggling.

Patrick looks at him. "Oh, wow, look at you being all cool. Go snort the powdered sugar and see how you feel afterward.

"Ew, no," he says.

Sarah looks at him giggling and Patrick stares at her. "Don't encourage this nonsense," he says. The song "What about Us" by P!nk fades out and a slow song comes on.

"I've been reading books of old, the legends and the myths," the radio plays.

"I love this song by Chainsmokers," Brendon says.

"This song is by Coldplay," Sarah says.

"What?" he looks at her. "No, this is by the Chainsmokers I'm pretty sure-"

"Guys, it's by both of them," Hayley says.

"Oh," they say in unison. Hayley smiles, rolling her eyes.

"Chainsmokers had three songs already in the top 100. Something Like This, Paris, and Closer."

"Yeah, so did Imagine Dragons," I say. "Believer, Thunder, and Whatever it Takes."

"Imagine Dragons is literally a god, they can do no wrong in music," Gerard says. "I've never hated a song by them. Them and P!nk can do no wrong in music basically."

"You're not wrong," Jenna says. The radio plays the number one song of the year and the others start cheering when they hear it.

"Fuck yeah!" Cody screams. Lynn jumps up, dancing around with Brendon and Hayley as "Castle on a Hill" blasts on the radio. I've heard this song a bunch of times over the summer and it's always nostalgic, especially listening to it with them.

The bridge of the song comes on and we sing in unison. "One friend left to sell clothes. One works down by the coast. One had two kids but lives alone. One's brother overdosed. One's already on his second wife. One's just barely getting by. But these people raised me and I can't wait to go home. I'm on my way, I still remember these old country lanes when we did not know the answers. And I miss the way you make me feel, it's real. We watched the sunset over the castle on the hill." Dancing around the rec, we all jump around, more hyped than we were at the winter formal. It's just us, the only people that matter, no one else. "Over the castle on the hill!"

The song lays out and the DJ signs off on the countdown, wishing us a closing and a good new year.

"We've got about 30 minutes until the new year, what should we do?" Amelia asks. We're all sitting back down on the floor in our little circle.

"Not sure," Jenna says. "Wanna share New Year's resolutions?"

"I don't have one," Cody says.

"Well, make one up!" Amelia says with a smile.

Cody's eyes widen. "I...really don't know." He sighs, leaning back while thinking. "Uh, I guess I want to appreciate the little things more. You know? Like look at what I have right now and stop worrying about tomorrow." He looks up, making eye contact with me. "What about you, Frank?"

"Uh," I mutter. I wasn't thinking we'd share this. "Well, I feel dumb," I say.

"No, come on," Jenna says gently. "We won't judge you."

I smile. "I want to be a musician when I'm older so I want to work on wringing my own songs, something personal that means something that others can feel, make something real."

"I like that," Gerard says.

I smile at him. "What's yours?"

Gerard looks at me deeply. "Kind of like Cody. I want to stop worrying about what-ifs and make the best about what I have for today because...I don't know what tomorrow brings but no matter what, I'll be there to find out." I smile at him reassuringly. "Lynn, you go."

Lynn's eyes widen, hesitantly. "I...want to come out to my family. And I want to not be afraid anymore, hopefully, they can learn to accept me, despite their views. I want to change their views." She looks to Jenna next to her.

"I want to discover who I need to become. I want to be happy with the person I am and find my purpose. It's kind of out there but I want to know who I am."

We continue in our little circle. Patrick goes, saying he wants to work harder in school, do good academically in preparation for college. Hayley wants to learn how to not let what other people think of her stop herself from being happy and who she is, learning how to find confidence. Brendon wants to let go of justifying other people's wrongs. Sarah wants to start taking care of herself more, going exercising, eating healthy. And Amelia wants to stop being afraid of growing up, accepting the future as a good thing to look forward to.

There's under 5 minutes left until the countdown when we start getting everything ready. Jenna got 10 crystal, champagne glasses for the sparkling drinks. "Okay, guys, don't break these," she says setting them down. "I mean, they're my parent's wedding glasses but that went to shit so it doesn't really matter but it's expensive still." Lynn and Amelia laugh at her comment and Jenna smirks to herself. "If it was my dad's and Cody's mom wedding, that'd be a different story."

"You know, every year, the last word we say is 'one' and the first word we say is 'happy'," Patrick points out.

Brendon is pouring a glass and stops to glare at Patrick. "I don't know what to do with that information but I feel it's done something to me."

Holding our glasses up, we watch the countdown. "5, 4, 3, 2, 1!" The time hits 0 and the clock changes to midnight 12:00. "Happy New Year!"

Clinking out glasses together, we take a sip. Lynn and Jenna kiss each other while smiling and so do Cody and Amelia. New Year's kiss. I glance at Gerard but he isn't looking at me. What did I expect?

Jenna and Cody go downstairs to the basement where their parents are with their friends. It's nearly 2 a.m. and we're all passing out. I mean, I'm wide awake myself and so is Lynn and Gerard but the others are zonked. Amelia and Brendon are already asleep.

Cody comes back up, seeing them sleeping on the floor. "Should we wake them up?" asks, suddenly yawning.

"I don't know, I-" Gerard starts yawning, seeing Cody. "Damn it, man. You're making me tired."

Cody chuckles to himself. "I'm exhausted so I don't care." Cody scoops Amelia up in his arms and she leans into his chest. He carries her to the couch and sets her down gently, tossing a blanket over her and lying down next to her.

"Brendon, up," Hayley says, yanking his arm.

"Huh, wha? He looks around dazed. "What's going on?"

"You sleeping there?" Hayley asks.

He stares at Cody, tucking Amelia in. "He treats her like a queen, you treat me like a peasant." He grabs his pillow and crawls over to the far side. Hayley takes a seat in the recliner and Patrick is in the other on. Sarah and Jenna passed out on the other couch.

"I don't know about you guys, but I'm not ready to go to sleep," Lynn says.

"Me neither," I say. I look back at Gerard. "Wanna go somewhere and talk?"

"Sure." The three of us walk out, grabbing our bags without. We all know that if we start getting tired, we'll be too lazy to get our stuff back. Their parents are still downstairs, the music faintly playing. "Where to?"

"We can hang out in one of the guest rooms," Lynn says. "That's where some of us slept for Christmas."

Mateo is sleeping in the corner of the room on one of his pillows. "It's a pupper!" Gerard whispers.

Lynn smiles. "He's cute but if you wake him up, you'll regret it."

"Never wake a sleeping doggo," I say. I glance at the bed and flop back giggling, stretching out my arms and legs.

"You taking over the bed?" Lynn asks.

"Not if I can help it," Gerard says. Before I ask him about it, he launches himself at me. I roll out of the way as Gerard falls onto the bed. "Knew that would work."

"You two are crazy," Lynn says, hopping up next to us. "So what shall we do?"

"Not sure," Gerard says. "I'm thinking truth or dare but I don't really want to at the same time."

"I feel ya," I say. "You think this year will be a good year?" I ask.

"I hope so," Gerard says. "I mean, we always tell ourselves it'll be the best year, this will be our moment. But then we say we were wrong. Once a bad thing happens, we forget about any of the good."

"That's a better answer than I got," Lynn says. "I was just going to say time is an abstract concept we created so it doesn't necessarily signify anything. But I'll take your answer."

Gerard looks at her. "There you go with the negative ways," he says in some accent.

She stares back at him, blinking. "And what movie is that from?"

He cracks a grin. "Kelly's Heroes." His smile falters. "You know what's scary? Where do you think we'll be in one year from today?"

"I honestly don't know," I say. "I mean, last new years, I didn't know anyone of you, and I was a much bitter person than I am now."

"I know we've talked about this but in one year, do you think we'll be how we are today?" Gerard asks. "Same relationships, same people?"

"I hope so," Lynn says. "I mean, between you guys and me, I don't know what's going to happen with Jenna and me."

I tense up, looking at her. "What do you mean?" I ask nervously.