When I step into my study hall, Mr. Cee glances up. "Art again, Frank?" he asks.

I smile, adjusting my bag on my shoulder. "Actually, not today," I say.

"Really, it's been a few months since you've been in here. Well, welcome back," he says, shuffling a stack of papers together then placing them in a manila folder. I glance at the sign-out sheet. Hayley's signature is on the most recent line, she's at the library.

I walk over to my old seat, unzipping my backpack while the bell rings. A few of the students come waltzing in a few seconds late, boisterously laughing and hitting each other like children. "Come on, let's hurry it up," Mr. Cee says, waving for them to get in the classroom. He shuts the door when the last kid walks in and he shuffles back to his desk.

"Hey," I say, looking over at Brendon.

He glances up at me from his phone. "Oh, hey, Frank. You're not going to the art room today?" I shake my head. "How come?" he asks.

I give a small shrug. "I have a lot of work I need to do, we're doing essays in English so I want to finish mine."

"Oh, that makes sense," he says. "I should be doing my math homework but memes," he says, gesturing to his phone and ignoring the packet on his desk.

"Me," I say. I take out a loose leaf of paper from my binder when my phone goes off. -Where is you at, Frankie??- Gerard texts. I swipe the notification away. I should have told them I wanted to see how Brendon was doing, how he felt about us. It's been over a week and we haven't heard from him. I don't know if it's his choice or whatever the situation is. "Crazy to think Thanksgiving is in a week from today," I say.

He nods along. "Yeah, I'm dying to have a week off but I know right now it's not going to be long enough." He glances down at his packet and sighs. "Who am I kidding, I ain't getting this done," he says, sliding it off his desk and putting it back in his folder.

"Is it due today?" I ask.

He shakes his head. "Nah, tomorrow but she's giving us today to work on it so when I'm in math, I'll do math." He drops his folder into his backpack and glances up at me. "How have you been?" he asks.

"I'm doing well, mostly tired. How are you? I haven't really seen you around lately."

Brendon nods along. "Yeah, I know."

"What's been up?" I ask with an innocent smile.

"Well, things have been," he sighs deeply and his eyes widen, "well, shit hit the fan and I'm sure you know about it, at least, some of it." I don't say anything, just looking at me softly. If he's willing to talk, I'm not going to give that up by interrupting him. "Audrey's...you know her, right? My-girlfriend?"

"Yeah, we've met once or twice," I say.

"Yeah, well, she's been being kind of...a bitch." He leans back in his chair, brushing his hair back out of his face. "I really don't know what to do because-sorry if I'm dropping this on you, we can talk about something else if you want." His voice softens up.

"Oh, no, I don't mind. It seems like you've been keeping this in. You're welcome to rant," I say.

It seems to have been the right thing to say because he gives a relaxed smile and continues. "It's just, she got mad at Hayley and then there was that whole fight. And I was mad but I didn't know who to be mad at. And I know the others have always disliked Audrey but even Amelia now is iffy on her, which should be saying something."

"I know what you mean," I say.

"Yeah, and I don't know if I should just throw everything we have away because we've been together for so long. But Hayley is mad at me, understandably. I'm just torn."

"I've never been in this kind of situation so I have no personal experience to relate to you but can I ask you something?" He looks at me waiting. "So you said you're wondering if you should stay with Audrey or not, yeah?"

"Yeah, she's treating me kind of badly, I realize she doesn't trust me and it's not like I've done anything to break her trust. Ever. And she always bashes you guys like she has nothing better to do."

Well, makes sense why this is a bad relationship. "So is the only reason you're staying with her is because you've been together for so long?" I ask.

"Well, it's-" Brendon stop, trailing off and thinking. So it is the only reason, that's enough right there. Had there been more, he would have known it and said it without pausing. "Well, I don't want to throw it away. If we stayed together for over a year, then that means we have something...special, that we like each other and want to be together. So there must be something important otherwise we wouldn't have lasted this long. And if I break up with her, I'd be losing it."

"What would you lose?" I ask.

He sits still, clasping his hands together. "I'm not sure," he whispers.

"You don't even know why you're together?" He glances up at me. That might have been harsh. "Well, don't you love her?" Good recovery.

Brendon doesn't say anything for a moment. "I mean, yeah, she's my girlfriend, I'm supposed to."

"Stop," I say, cutting him off. He looks at me sympathetically. "That's not a reason. You shouldn't love someone because you feel obligated it's your job to." I don't know if I should continue where I'm going with this but I do anyway. This could either back fire and maybe help their relationship or if the others are right, make him realize. "How did you guys start dating?"

"Well, we had class together and we sat next to each other. She was really cute and funny and just nice. I liked being with her. Then she told me she didn't have anyone to go with to homecoming so I offered to be her date and she said only if I asked her properly with like a sigh and stuff."

"Wow, sounds like she said yes for convenience," I say. Brendon falters. Very harsh, maybe be crossing a line.

"That's actually how it felt," he admits. "I don't know what I'm going to do," he says.

As the period continues, the two of us ignore our homework and keep talking. By the end of study hall, he comes to the realization he needs to have a serious talk with Audrey, one she will not brush off, one she won't turn into an argument or a pity party. Deep down, I'm almost impressed I was able to reach out to Brendon, I didn't think I'd be able to talk to him about this, let alone have him open up so much since we haven't really hung out since Halloween. "Yeah, it was nice talking to you, Frank," he says. "You're a really good guy."

"Anytime," I say, "and we also have next hour together so."

"Oh, yeah, right," he says, tensing up. He hasn't sat with us for a week so it may be awkward. "I'll have to make up to Hayley at some point. I owe her an apology."

The bell rings and the two of us file out of the room along with our classmates. "I think the only thing you should apologize to her is for not being there. You weren't the one who hurt her and you aren't responsible for Audrey's actions."

"You're right but I was still a jerk and that's not really something she'll let slide."

When we get to guitar, Lynn isn't in the room yet, probably still cleaning up from art It's been taking a little longer without Jenna's help. Patrick is there, tuning his instrument and Hayley is in the back retrieving hers. Patrick sees me and glances up, then double takes when he realizes I'm with Brendon. "Oh, hey, man," he says.

"Hey," he says. Hayley turns around, freezing up before slowly coming over. "Hey," he says to her.

"Hi," Hayley replies, sitting down in her usual spot.

"I'm sorry I was a jerk."

Hayley glances at me and I give a shrug. She purses her lip to the side and glances back at Brendon. "I mean, you're always a jerk but you were a jerk to me," she says.

"You know what I mean," he replies.

"Did you guys break up or something? Is that why you're here?"

"No," he says. "We're still together but-" Hayley rolls her eyes at him. "No, listen." He sets his bag down and sits down in his chair next to her. "You're my best friend and I know that. I don't ever doubt that you're my best friend. I doubt what Audrey is to me and I doubt what we are together but I don't doubt you. I am sorry, I hope you know I mean it."

Hayley gives a small smile, rolling her eyes. "Oh, stop it, now you're just being too nice to me."

Brendon play pushes her in her chair and she giggles. "There, am I the right amount of jerk now?" he asks.

"Yes, perfect."

I smile when Lynn come in the room. "Hey, where were you?" Lynn asks. She notices Brendon and Hayley are talking but she doesn't question it. "Gerard was sad you weren't answering his texts."

"Oh, I stayed in study hall, I didn't realize," I say, taking my phone out. Gerard sent me 4 texts, I didn't hear most of them. Granted, signal isn't always the most reliable in school. "He was sad?" I ask softly.

"Yeah, he drew rest in peace on a paper and placed it on your stool in art," Lynn says. "And Cody was also asking about you, said he forgot to ask about something in the car this morning?" I look at her but she gives her a shrug. "I don't know, he didn't really elaborate, you know how Cody is."

"Oh, yeah, I get you," I say.

After guitar, I start heading up to history with my earbuds in. I'm too lazy to play my music but the earbuds in gives the same mentality. Someone steps on the back of my shoe and I stumble forward. I keep walking and they to it again twice in a row. I yank my earbuds out, ready to yell at someone but I see Gerard and freeze up. "Hey, you," he says with an evil smile.

"So you're the prick, huh?" I ask, sighing but still annoyed. "Next time, just tap my shoulder or something."

"Where's the fun in that?" he asks. I roll my eyes at him and continue walking. He nudges my shoulder and I look at him. "Yes?"

"Where were you this morning?" he asks. "Why didn't you go to art?"

"I was in study hall, I wanted to talk to Brendon," I say.

"Oh, what'd he say."

I pause for a moment. "He might be breaking up with Audrey."

"Wait, what?" he asks, looking at me.

"I don't know, he mentioned needing to talk to her and thinking it might happen but I don't know if he's actually going to or if it was just in his head."

"Well, hopefully, he does. I miss him as my friend," he says. "Well, good to see you, haven't all day."

He's still going to Hayley's house in the morning. Tomorrow would be the last day since she's mostly healed now and then we'll have break. We can go back to hanging out before school. "You're acting like it's been forever," I say, "I saw you yesterday."

"I know, but still," he pouts. "You're like my best friend."

"Really? I thought Cody was your best friend."

"Well, he is my best friend like in a best friend way. You're-" he stops.

"What? I'm what?" I ask.

He purses his lip to the left, thinking for a bit. "I don't know but you're something to me."

"Glad to hear I'm not nothing."

"Wha-of course you're not nothing," he says. "You're like...I don't know." Gerard smiles softly, trying to come up with a word to finish his thought. Boyfriend. Crush. The guy you wouldn't mind being gay for? I'll take any one of those. "It's like you're my other half, you just get me and I feel real with you." That. I'll take that in a heartbeat.

"I feel the same way," I mutter. We walk up to our classroom but the door is shut and the lights are off. A piece of paper is taped on the door and written on it with a green marker says 3rd PERIOD COMPUTER LAB. The warning bell rings and Gerard and I sigh. "At least we're going to a lab so we won't have to run and worry about being tardy."

"True," Gerard says.

Once we get to the lab, Gerard keeps trying to annoy me. "Gee, what are you doin-" He pulls the lever underneath my seat and the height collapses. "Ah, you happy?" I ask. His bangs fall in front of his face while he snickers to himself. I stand up and adjusts the height of the chair.

The teacher passes the prompt out and I glance at my sheet. He said it was going to be a little different today, a personal opinion based one but we still need to support our thesis. "How does fear advance civilization?"

"Well, that's deep," Gerard says, glancing at the paper.

"You can write about needles," I say. Gerard glares at me and sighs. "Just kidding."

"It's all fun and games until I need to get a shot or something and then I'm suddenly the Incredible Hulk." I chuckle to myself while Gerard shakes his head. "How did you know that?" he asks.

"You told me," I say. Gerard pauses in thought. "It was back when we like first met, I think, were at Lynn's house."

"Oh, yeah, Right, I remember," he says. "What'd you say you're you afraid of?"

"Nothing," I say.

Gerard leans forward, resting his arm on the table and propping his head up. "Oh, come on. We all have our fears. You're seriously telling me there's nothing that doesn't scare you?" I look at him but I don't say anything. "What is it?"

"The last time I told somebody, they antagonized me with it at any given chance. I'm not making that same mistake again."

Gerard looks at me almost offended. "You really think I would purposely try hurting you?"

I glance down. "Well, like you bump into me and joke around a lot, I just-" He puts a heavy hand on my shoulder and I falter. "Yeah?"

"Do I hurt you?" he asks genuinely.

"No," I whisper. "It's just-"

"Frank, am I mean to you? Tell me, please."

"No, it's nothing like that," I say, shaking my head. "You're one of the...people I'm closest with and I'm never upset with you. And you wouldn't hurt me, you're not malicious. But you playfully annoy me and my old friends used to do that too but when they learned that I don't like...a certain thing they used it to joke around."

"That's not a joke, though," Gerard says. "If you're afraid of something, people should never purposely use it against you." My eyes start watering for some reasons so I take a deep breath and look away from him. Why is he so nice? "I mean, unless it's homophobia or transphobia or...Islamophobia, basically anything discriminating a group of people, then you don't mess with people's fears."

I start laughing and Gerard eases up. He hasn't taken his hand away yet. He starts rubbing my shoulder, trailing his hand against my back. "Well, I don't have anything against trans people for Muslims so it's not that."

"What about-" he looks at me softly but I cut him off.

"It would be an oxymoron for me to be homophobic," I say.

"You're..." I nod and his eyes widen. "Oh," he says.

"That okay?"

Gerard looks at me shocked. "What? Yeah, I don't hate," he says. I smile nervously at him. "Just-didn't want to assume anything or offend you." He glances at his paper, rereading the prompt. It dawns on him we went off course of the original topic. "Oh, Frankie? Just so you know, I hope you don't think I would ever make fun you, I wouldn't seek pleasure in hurting you."

"Thanks," I say, biting my lip. I try refraining from laughing but I fail and Gerard notices, considering I'm not very subtle. "I'm sorry, you just-that last sentence-you said that really badly and-"

"Oh my god," he sighs, rolling his eyes while laughing. "Here I am being soulful while your mind is in the gutter."

"My mind is the gutter," I say. Gerard smiles, his cheeks turning a slight shade of pink. "But I know what you meant and-thank you," I say. He looks at me and gives a smile. "Spiders," I whisper.

"What?"

Yeah, that was kind of random but I don't want to say it again. "I don't like those, they freak me. Don't even want to go in tall grass or anywhere they would be."

"Oh, that's a common one, I understand," he says. "How's Halloween for you?"

"Great, as long as they're not the decor," I say, and he smiles sincerely. "I would rather be trampled by a thousand children than have to touch a spider."

"I feel the same way but with needles."

"What do you do when you need shots?" I ask. "Like for school and what not."

"I tend to black out." I gasp softly and he chuckles. "I'm not even kidding. I don't really know what happens but I just get dizzy and then I'm lying horizontal and they're like 'it's okay, it's over'. It's the 21st century, you'd think they'd have invented a way to ingest it or something else. Another reason I hate doctors," he says.

"Another? What's the first?" I ask.

"They're morons," he says. There's a sense of bitterness behind his voice. Before I could say anything else, he continues. "They spend all these years in school yet they still have no idea what they're doing. Everyone wants to grow up and either be a doctor or a lawyer. You would think after so many years of training and with so many people in the field, they'd be able to help people the proper way."

"How do they not help people?" I ask.

He gives his head a small shake. "I don't think you'd understand, it's not something most people can or do," he says. "Have you ever been to a hospital? For you or for someone else?"

"No," I say. Gerard winces at me with almost envy in his eyes. He's been there a lot I take it. I don't know why but he's so sad inside. I've never broken any bones or gotten injured. I don't remember..."Wait, once," I say, "but I was really little. I was 7 or 8. Maybe younger"

"Do you remember what happened?" he asks.

I think back, trying to recall what happened. "It was for my mom I think," I say. She was in the bed but they wouldn't let me go in the room to see her. She was there a few day and when she came home, I remember both of my parents were crying, my mom was sad for a very long time. Wait. That's what happened. They never told me why she went there, well, maybe they did but I don't remember. No, I would have remembered, it was a blur. They didn't want me to see her, I got to sleep over at my friend's house and I was there for a long time but eventually, my dad came and got me and he went and saw her. But after that, they weren't the same anymore. That's when they started disagreeing and fighting. I never put two and two together, I never thought about why they were fighting, I was too young to realize. That might be the reason why everything is different at home. I look at Gerard and finish my sentence. "It was my mom but I don't know what happened."

"Well, you'll probably just think I'm being ridiculous," he says.

"I think you're ridiculous regardless," I say.