I was nursing a hot cup of coffee in the kitchen when Jess found me. We decided to get dressed quickly and head out for a girl's day of shopping and lunch. I couldn't wait to dig the truth out of her about her relationship with Hobi. I also wanted to talk to her about how I was feeling about Jimin. I think. Maybe I didn't want to talk about it.

I was so overwhelmed.

I took a quick shower and dressed in some comfy shorts and v-neck shirt before heading out the door. I contemplated leaving a note for Jimin to let him know where I was. I realized that we had pretty much been around each other in some capacity this entire time and he didn't have my phone number. But were we at that point in our relationship? Fuck. Was this a relationship? I didn't even know what he thought about everything. In the end, I didn't leave a note. I didn't want to seem clingy or like I expected anything from him. That was the problem though, wasn't it? I wanted to have expectations of him. I couldn't.

Jess and I were entering our third store in the small outlet mall just outside of town. I had yet to find anything I was interested in buying. Jess had several bags in her arms. It helped that she had tons of money to blow. I didn't fault her for that. She always tried to buy me things but I wouldn't let her. Instead, I tried to be intentional with my money and how I spent it. I was standing in the store eyeing this adorable flowing dress. It was several different shades of pink, almost like a watercolor painting with off the shoulder straps and small ruffles around the hem. It was delicate and flirty.

"Oooh! You should try that on," Jess suggested when she saw what I was focused on. I shook my head when I glanced at the price tag. "Oh, come on, Dia! Please? Just do it for fun. I have GOT to see how that looks on you."

I hesitated. I did want to try it on but the price was way too much. I didn't want to end up frustrated if I loved it and had to put it back on the rack.

"I won't take no for an answer."

So I ended up in the fitting room, staring at myself in the mirror with this gorgeous sundress on. I ran my hands down the soft material, cursing Jess under my breath for making me do this.

"Come out! Let me see!" She yelled. I heaved a sigh and turned around to unlock the fitting room door. Jess took one look at me and clapped her hands together, jumping up and down.

"Oh my gosh, Dia! That looks so good on you!!"

I smiled at her. She wasn't wrong, even I knew that. It fit my body perfectly and hugged my curves in all the right places.

"Well, enjoy the view for the next few minutes because I'm not buying it."

"Awwww, Dia. You have to buy that dress."

"Jess. You know I can't."

"Let me-"

"And don't say another word about it. You know I won't let you spend this much money on me."

There was no use arguing. I wasn't stubborn about a lot but about this, I was. Jess knew that once I made up my mind, there was no changing it.

She huffed in frustration, "Fine. But at least let me take a picture. You can use it as your profile pic or something if you want. You look too good in it to just waste this opportunity."

"Whatever. Just do it quickly. I wanna go eat. I'm starved."

I posed for Jess as she snapped a few pics and then headed back into the dressing room. "Don't send me all of them," I yelled out, "Just send me the best one."

After I changed back into my regular clothes and we bid farewell to the dress, we headed towards the beach for lunch. We found ourselves at this cute seaside restaurant with all of the thematic little beach decor. I was starving after the morning I had. Remembering the things Jimin had done to me was doing things to the lower half of my body that shouldn't occur in public.

"Dia," Jess started, "What's going on with you and Jimin?"

I didn't even know where to begin. "Honestly? I don't know."

"What happened? I told you to be careful."

"I know. It all just kind of happened. There wasn't any one thing he said or did. But before I knew it, I was in his bed and I couldn't say no."

Jess had a sad look come over her face. "Dia, I'm worried about you," she whispered.

I remained silent, unsure how to respond. I didn't want to tell her that I was worried too.

"Jimin. He's....." She paused, choosing her words carefully. "He doesn't get attached, Dia. He is charming and sweet and kind. He likes to have fun but I've seen him with women before. They always end up getting hurt."

I looked down in my lap, a wave of sadness crashing over me. "He's been honest from the get go. He's made it clear that this isn't a long term thing."

"Dia. He always makes it clear. But the girl still ends up so wrapped up in him that she ends up devastated. I don't want that to be you."

I didn't know what to say. I didn't want that to be me either. At this point, I didn't know if I could stop the feelings that were coming on stronger and stronger. I need to change the subject.

"Yeah, well. Don't worry about me. I'll be fine," I lied, "So what's the deal with JHope?"

It was Jess's turn to clam up.

"Come on Jess. Talk to me. What's going on?"

"Oh Dia," she leaned her arms on the table, "it's such a clusterfuck. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to think."

"Why don't you start at the beginning?"

She took a deep breath before diving in.

"I've known Hobi almost all my life. Our families used to vacation together. But around the time they started training to be idols, he quit coming every summer with his family. I hadn't seen him in years until two summers ago. Maybe having time apart changed things. I found myself enthralled with romantic feelings. I fell fast and hard and I thought he felt the same way."

She paused looking off in the distance. "We said we loved each other." She looked so sad.

"And then I was supposed to meet him at a party. I was running late and when I walked in looking for him, he was liplocked with some other girl. I was devastated. Everything I thought I knew about him was wrong. Our entire relationship felt like a lie. When I confronted him, he didn't deny it. And he seems sorry now and he wants to try again. But I just don't know, Dia. He broke me. I'm so afraid of feeling all of those feelings again and he leaves for their next tour and finds some other girl. I don't think I could come back from that."

Our moods were somber after discussing our potential relationships. Neither of us had the energy to shop anymore. We opted, instead, for a movie. The local movie theater in town always played old movies in the afternoon and we decided on The Princess Bride. Such a classic.

We headed back home after the movie, thoroughly exhausted yet refreshed after our girl's day. A true oxymoron. I had needed this time with Jess. Her friendship was so important to me and I didn't want to be so wrapped up in a guy- no matter who he was that I let our friendship end up neglected.

We walked in the front door of the beach house arm in arm.

"Where the hell have you been?"