Excuse any mistakes

"Bailey Harris." The crowd cheered for as she stood up receiving her degree. I blew out a breath waiting for my name to be called. This has been a long day and I was excited but ready for this to be over.

My life has been through hell and back. I did things but made it through them. I'm not proud of the choices I've made. I know my dad is not proud of them either but I had to do what I thought was best. It may not be but hey, it's life.

When I found out I was pregnant I freaked out. I set up a doctor's appointment with Dr. Santos and she confirmed I was almost three weeks. It was East baby and I couldn't come to terms with that. I did what was best for me and got an abortion. I wouldn't dare have his baby. I wanted nothing of him attached to me. I would have to look that child in the face every day and have a constant reminder who killed my dad and who also took advantage of me.

I haven't told anyone that I had the procedure. I didn't want to feel attacked by my family. I already knew I was a fucked-up person and that would've made it worse.

I was finally content with my life. I had some type of peace and I was happy. I'm finally sitting with classmates getting ready to walk the stage. A moment I knew I was destined for.

"" The director called my name making everyone scream.

"THAT'S MY NIECE." My uncle yelled making me laugh.

"MY NIGGA! GET THAT SHIT LU!" Money yelled with everyone else. I shook my head smiling at how they were acting but I appreciated it so much.

"Congratulations Luna." Professor Boyd gave me a hug kissing my cheek. I bit my lip at him holding back a smirk. We agreed to leave the sexual relationship alone. It was best for us to move on and leave it alone once and for all. Well after tonight then we'll move on.

"Congratulations young lady."

"Thank you." I shook their hands grabbing my degree. I finally made it here. After being shot and missing so much school, I was able to manage my grades. I'm graduating on honors roll with a 3.9 GPA.

I felt tears fall down my face feeling a heavyweight in my heart. I knew my dad was smiling down on me. He was proud of his babygirl. I did this for myself but most importantly for him. I didn't want to live off his money all my life. I wanted to become my own boss and make my own money.

After an hour of long name calling, we finally got a chance to meet our families. The first person I ran into was Lilo.

"WE GRADUATED!" She pulled me into a big hug crying. "I love you, Luna. Thank you for being there for Adeya and I. If it wasn't for you then I don't know where I'd be."

"I love you too." I returned the hug.

"Say congratulations mommy." Julian walked up with the baby making us smile. "Congrats Luna."

"Thank you."

"My baby." She cried pulling into her arms.

"YOU DID IT!" Gabe came out from the crowd of people pulling me into a tight ass hug lifting me off my feet. My eyes got big as I felt my circulation cutting off.

"You're going to kill her man." Lola slapped him in the back of the head.

"Oh shit, my bad." He winced putting me down.

"SISTER!" The girls and Noah came into my view. I didn't think the girls would be able to make it but I guess the witch let them off the leash.

I bent down. "I missed you guys so much."

"We got you these." Lana held a black glittery bag with a balloon connected.

"I'll open it later. Thank you." I kissed their foreheads then hugging Noah. "Hey bro."

"I'm happy for you. Congratulations."

"Thanks, you're next so be ready." I reminded him.

"You look beautiful, congrats." Draya told me. She was Money's girl. I met her a couple of months ago and she was a cool girl. She didn't have a problem with me and vice versa.

"You too! Thank you."

"My girl!" He pulled me into a big hug. "You made everyone proud today. I'm glad I got to be here and experience this with you and for your dad."

"Aww, thank you and you look good."

We all walked outside to take some pictures. I stood under the tree doing some solo pictures after I finished the group ones.

"Luna?!"

"JORDYN! Oh my goodness, you've gotten so big." I bent down hugging her. My eyes stung because I just couldn't believe she was standing in front of me with the ability to see. Thank goodness for waterproof makeup.

"You've beautiful just like I imagined." She stared at me in amazement. It's like she didn't want to take her eyes off of me. This was my first time seeing her after her surgery. They had her in an aftercare program and she's been gone for months.

"Congratulations Luna. She wanted to surprise you." Bernice and Phillip walked up to me with balloons.

"Thank you."

"We also have anoth-

"Hey, gorgeous." My eyes connected with . I fought the urge to roll my eyes. From his energy now you could tell he knew. I clicked my teeth turning back to Jordyn.

"How does it feel?"

"It feels so good. I love you, Luna." She took my hand connecting it with hers. I smiled pulling her into my side.

"I love you too baby."

"Can we go get food now?" My uncle complained.

"Sure fat ass. You better be glad my feet hurt. Can we go somewhere with rolls?"

They laughed. "Whatever you want."

I invited Jordyn and then to come along. Of course, they felt the need to have Zae come. I was really ready for him to be out of my presence.

_______

"I really appreciate everyone coming out and celebrating with me and Lilo. This has been one of the best days of my life by far. I've accomplished so much. I have fallen down but picked myself right back up. I may not have the best relationship with some people here but each and every person here has helped me in some type of way. I just wanna say thank you from the bottom of my heart."

"Don't make me cry again."

"Please don't." Gabe groaned.

"Stop hating on them." Joy slapped his shoulder.

"You better chill out." He whispered something in her ear making her laugh. I scrunched up my face in disgust. They have finally tried the relationship thing out and I didn't care. I was really happy for my uncle. I did have a hell of time laughing in Lola's face about her new step mommy. She always wanted to be petty, now look.

"Don't even start your shit, Luna." Lola cut her eyes at me.

"Bad word mommy." Alana told her.

I smiled. "What? I didn't even do anything."

"I see that dam-darn smirk. Leave it alone."

We joked back and forth until it was time to leave. I was loading all of my gifts, balloons, and flowers into my car as I felt a presence behind me. I quickly leaned up turning around.

"Woah! It's just me."

"Don't fucking do that." I mugged him.

"I'm sorry." He held his hands up. "I wanted to talk to you for a minute."

"About?" I scooted the bags over making for the flowers.

"Us."

I stopped moving and looked back at him laughing. I really looked at him to see if he was serious. I held my mouth not believing the nigga.

"You can't be serious. What's an us? There is not one."

"I fucked up. I really fucked up this time. I didn't listen. I didn't hear what you had to say. I left you when you needed me the most once again. I take part in that but Luna, come on now you have to understand what the fuck I saw. I waited all night for you to come home to me and you never did. I waited and waited for hours hoping you weren't doing anything foul. Then I seen your neck and that answered everything. I didn't want it to be true but I let my insecurities get in the way. When my mom told me what really happened I knew you would never forgive me. I can't get you out of my head. I couldn't then and I can't now. I'm sorry Luna. I'm so fucking sor-"

He stopped wiping the tears that fall from his eyes. He looked at me with hope. I slammed the backdoor reaching for the driver door. He caught my hand turning me around.

"Don't leave."

"You're making this extremely hard. Just continue to ignore me and we'll be good. You can't just come back into my life when it's convenient for you. When I asked you and begged you to do the same. Please save yourself and me the trouble and leave."

"I can't do that. Please man, I'm begging you." He got down on his knees in the middle of this parking lot. I gave him a bewildered look. He gripped my sides laying his head on my stomach. "Please."

"Oh my goodness. Get up fool." I looked around with a tight smile on my face waving at the people staring at us.

"Just forgive me."

"Get up."

"No."

"People are starting to look." I gritted pulling on his dreads.

"I love you, Luna Grace Hogan. I love you with everything in me. I want to be with you forever. You drive me so fucking crazy. I couldn't stop thinking about the way I treated you. I was wrong for taking up for that girl over you when you were my real rider. Please forgive me."

"I forgive you."

He lifted his head up. "For real?"

"Yep."

When he stood up I opened my door and hopped in. He knocked on the window as started up my car. I raised down the window staring at him.

"Can we just go somewhere and have a conversation?"

"No, fuck you." I flipped him off speeding out the parking lot.

"I can't believe I'm really about to do this right now."

"It's for a new and better start." My uncle encouraged patting back.

"Here goes nothing." I stepped out the car taking a deep breath. The closer I got I could feel my chest tighten more and more. I stopped before I got the door. "I can't do this."

"Yes, you can. It's all in your head. This is where he wants you babygirl. He's here with us right now."

I wiped my eyes slowly approaching the door again. The flashbacks of his body laid out right here in this concrete pierced my mind. I wanted to scream out but held it in. I touched the doorknob twisting it.

I smiled lightly when I stood in the foyer. I bent down releasing all of my tears. The house was still fixed how he left it. It smelled just like his favorite cologne. The reality of him not being here with me after graduating was hitting hard.

"It'll be okay."

"It's hard. I just want my dad back. That's it."

"I know." He hugged me tightly. "We'll get through this. He wouldn't want you crying right now. Maybe take a look around?"

I chuckled slightly wiping my face. "I know what this house looks like. Why would I need to look around?"

"He might've added something new." He shrugged helping me up.

"Y'all always up to something." I narrowed my eyes at him. I looked around seeing the same thing I used to. I walked past his room but doubled back going inside. I found the picture of us two hanging above his bed smiling.

I left out heading down to the basement. I frowned seeing the flooring was different. He wanted me to look at the floor? I walked further gasping at the sight.

He had a whole studio now set up. Soundboards, microphone, an isolation booth, the whole nine. He wanted me to persuade singing.

"I see you found it."

"He knew my voice was only for him."

"He wanted you to record if you ever change your mind. It's for your own use and whoever you let know."

"Fine."

"Go inside and work your magic."

"Now?"

"Why not?" He took a seat by the soundboard.

I shook my head. "I don't think so."

"Please."

"You know how to work everything?"

"Nah, I'm just sitting here for fun." He said sarcastically.

I rolled my eyes going inside. He played several instrumentals before I found the one that would fit me. I closed my eyes letting the music take over.

"It's been a while since I felt the way I do. I don't know how I got blessed with having you. You took my heart and saved me from myself. Don't know where I'd be, without your help. I'd be lost with youuuu. Got my mind set on you. Don't know what I would dooo, if I didn't have you."

I opened my eyes as tears poured out. The eyes on me stared back at me deeply. I wanted to stop singing but continued on.

"You gave me all I need. I will never ever leave, your siiiide."

"Beautiful." My uncle clapped. "Always trying to make a nigga cry."

"What is he doing here?" I wiped the tears sitting up straight.

"I'll let y'all talk. Don't fuck this up." He bucked at Zae making him jump causing a laugh to escape my mouth. That made him look at me and laugh too.

He walked inside the booth standing in front of me staring intensely. "How you been?"

"I've been okay." I answered. He bit his lips looking down. "Why are you making this so awkward?"

He let out a nervous laugh. "I don't know what to say."

"You came here so you obviously wanted to talk. You must have been talking to my uncle because no one knows where my dad's house is except for a couple of people."

"He let me know where you'll be today after begging for weeks. I finally got on his last nerves."

"And that's what happened to your eye?" I referred to his left black swollen eye.

He touched it. "Yeah, he got me. I deserved it though. I shouldn't have treated you that way. I shouldn't have called you out your name and kept disrespecting you. That's not even my character. My mama didn't raise me like that and I fucked up. I apologize for all the pain I've caused. You hear me?"

"It's like it's going in one ear and out the other." I joked.

"Luna."

"I'm just kidding kid. I hear you. I accept your apology. It was hard at first but I got over it. I dealt with a lot of things and forgave some people for much worst things."

He smiled. "So what do you say?"

"About what?

"Our relationship. You think we could give it another try. I miss you."

I shook my head. "No."

He looked at me in disbelief. "What?"

"I'm not mad at you or anything, just disappointed. We are not meant to be together right now. Maybe in the future but as of now, we can be friends. I need to focus on myself and things going on in my life. I'm still trying to find me."

"I can respect that." He wiped his eyes.

"Are you crying?"

He fanned the air. "Nah, it's a lot of lent in here. Who did you write that song for?"

"You, back when you were a good boy."

He laughed throwing his head back. "I ain't no damn dog. No, but seriously that's how you felt?"

"I still feel that way. Yes, you did fuck up but you helped me. When I first met you, I was sad and angry all the time. You helped me, you comforted me, you sheltered me, you loved me. I can't thank you enough for that. I love you for that. Even if we didn't talk this out and you called me tomorrow needing me, I'll be there."

I shrugged being honest. He had this hold over me and it wasn't a bad thing. Zae will always be my friend before anything. He got up pacing around. I watched him act like a maniac for several seconds.

"You good?"

"I fucked up bad." He walked over pulling me into his embrace. I felt really good. He held me tightly like he didn't want to let go. I felt small wetness on my neck. I sighed wrapping my arms around him. "I love you so much. I fucked up and I'm sorry."

"I already forgave you." I pulled his head back wiping his tears. "Now don't mistake my kindness for the weak. I'll cut your dick off and feed it to you with no hesitation."

He laughed shaking his head. "I believe you."

"Ahh shit, stop looking at me like that." I told him causing a smirk to appear on his face.

"I love you." He quickly pecked my lips moving out the way because he knew I was about to hit him.

"I'm going to get you." I laughed chasing after him.