When we walked into the house Mabel stomped up the stairs, her back clanking as she went. Sam watched her walk up the stairs as he put his grab bag on the sofa, "Man, is it bad that I really don't like your sister, Kodi? I mean," he looked over at me, "I try, I really do. But she's always off doing whatever she wants and it's like she doesn't take this whole survival thing seriously."

I bit down on my lip, glancing at Chester who was staring me down. It hadn't even been a month since I met them, but something about the situation we lived in made people grow closer, quicker. I think it was time I let them in on my past, even a little bit.

A few days ago during training Cody had told me, that if I was to be in a group, to trust them, that I needed to know their weaknesses and their strengths, so I could lean on them, or help pick them up. I knew he had been fishing for information, but if I was going to tell them I wanted it to be all together, at once.

The problems that we had been having, stemmed from miscommunication, and I wasn't about to lose what I've slowly started to consider my second family, because I couldn't voice what my first one had been like. Parts of me wanted to just stay silent- they could leave at any moment, they could turn bad at any moment, but part of what I'd been realizing is that everything in this life is precious, and everything has its risks. If I never took any risks, I'd end up alone.

I didn't have anyone to fall back on, Mabel, it seemed, would rather shoot me than be around me. So, finding out if my past changes our growing friendship, isn't a big risk. It's a precaution. I didn't want to get any more attached than I already was, and one day they up and leave because I'm so messed up.

"Guys, I want to tell you all something, and I'd like questions to be left at the end."

Chester immediately plopped down on the couch and propped his feet up on the coffee table, while Beck and Sam appeared confused. Cody stared at me as Sam and Beck sat, but he sat down too. While everyone got comfortable, Cody stayed sitting upright and staring intensely at me, which of course made me nervous.

I tried to speak out, and my throat clogged up with nerves. Chip walked in the room and I found it easier to focus on the cat rather than the boys who were all giving me their full attention. I wondered if Mabel would be upset that I was revealing our path.. no. This wasn't about her, she could stand by my side if she wanted, but I wasn't going to dictate my actions based on what she would or wouldn't approve of. I wouldn't live under constant fear of doing the wrong thing. Not when she was the one judging my moves.

I cleared my throat and started up again, "Okay. I wanted to tell you all a little bit about me," wow. What a great opening, what are we? In kindergarten? "M-my past I mean," I paused and took a breath, Chester looked like he wanted to help in some way but I was determined to do this by myself.

I clasped my hands together and continued focusing on Chip, "So. When I was younger, I'm not sure what age, my mom.. my step mom, grew ill with depression. She grew paranoid, that the outside world was a terrible place. She liked to keep Mabel and I locked up inside.. she claimed it was because the outside had monsters but I think it had more to do with me," another breath, another clearing of my throat, "I was the result of an affaire. Before she found out, we were one of those high society families. I don't remember a lot, but she had thought I was my father's second cousin's kid.. she thought they had died in a car accident and that they had adopted me. It made them look good, and that's all she cared about."

There was silence in the room, and I wasn't sure if the boys knew it but Mabel was sitting on the bottom step of the stairs, listening.

"I was about six, I remember, when she started to freak out on my dad. They would argue for hours, and Mabel stopped talking to me around this time as well. It wasn't until we moved away from the big house that I started to understand it. No one told me, but listening to their fighting and the snide remarks I would get from Mabel were enough puzzle pieces to put together," I scratched my arm and continued on, "So anyways, after my mom found out I was the result of an affaire, she fell into depression, and she began acting weird. She got physical in her punishments sometimes but for the most part it was weird punishments," inhale, exhale, you can do this, I told myself. "Every time I made a friend at school she would know, and we would move. I was ignored for the most part, as long as the house was immaculate, and I hadn't done anything to be noticed, she would leave me alone."

I stopped, suddenly unable to talk anymore. It was hard than I thought. So very hard to tell someone who could easily turn around and head the other direction, that you've been through a form of hell. And this was just before, this didn't include what Mabel had been up to, what sort of punishments.. or how my father had reacted to all of the things going on.

I didn't even know the things she did wasn't normal, not until my first friend told me so, after I explained why she couldn't come over. This wasn't Debby, no it was a cute little blonde haired girl at the age of eight, the age that we had actually started to move, her name was Lizzy and she told the teacher I was being abused.

We moved the next day.

The room was silent, Chester looked shocked. I guess he just expected me to tell them that Mabel had been a little pain and was to be watched, as she already had two strikes.

Maybe next time, right now I was just done telling about the skeletons in my closet, even if one of them was living in the same room as me. She was still my sister, I wouldn't intentionally throw her under the bus, but I also won't try to stop her from walking her own path.

Mabel stood up, breaking the silence as she marched to the front door and slammed it shut behind herself. I knew I had angered her, she didn't see her mother the same way I saw her.

The guys didn't jump.

"God, Kodi, you didn't say shit. We knew you had been getting hurt in your house but we didn't know it was like that," Chester said, rubbing his hand down his face.

Beck scooted to the edge of his chair, "Kodi, where was your father in all of this? I mean, I know he left and didn't come back one day but.. he had to have known what was happening to you.."

I shook my head, unwilling to go into that right now. He seemed to understand, but I could tell he was a little frustrated.

"Sunshine, why didn't you live with your birth mother... wouldn't that have been easier for your father?" Sam said, it was obvious he wasn't trying to be rude in his question.

"I.. from what I understood my birth mother let him take me when I started walking, as long as he promised to let me visit, and that I would have a better life with him. She died in a car accident when I turned four, so I don't really remember her at all."

The boys all had different expressions, ranging from skeptical to sympathetic. I looked at Cody, who seemed to be doubting my tale and frowned, "Look, I understand if you guys stop being my friend, and I understand if you don't want to associate after I move out, but I thought you deserved to know.. at least a little bit of my past."

I leaned down and picked up Chip, "so, I'll just be in my room. I don't want to talk about it anymore," I said, and left.

I heard them start talking as I did but I didn't bother to try and listen in as I walked up the stairs and went into my room. I looked around at the place that was mostly Mabel's and kept walking towards the bathroom. As I passed the window I paused and turned towards it. I set Chip down in her little bundle of blankets next to my folded bedding before I inched the window open and looked around outside. There was a small ledge outside the window.

I glanced over my shoulder before climbing out. It took a minute to figure out how to climb down but once I did, and my feet touched the ground, I was off. There were small splatterings of zombie blood on my t-shirt, and it reminded me that I had been allowed to go outside today.. I was allowed to go outside.

But I didn't want anyone to know, I just wanted to do something without everyone being alerted that I was doing it, when and why. I turned towards the wall and started to walk along it until I was in a part that was semi covered by trees, at least from any wandering eyes.

I climbed up one of the trees, carefully switching to the tree closer to the wall and then I was on the tall wall, sitting with my legs hanging on the outside and my conscious staying on the inside, where it was safe. I began studying the outside, I knew that soon someone would see me sitting up here and who knew what they would think. The outer side of the wall had a zig zag pattern in it that helped with support.

As soon as my foot touched the diagonal beam part, I knew I wasn't going to chicken out, but just in case I jumped when I was hardly able to touch the top with my fingertips. The landing hurt a little, but as soon as I started walking the pain subsided.

It took me a little bit before I realized that I hadn't done anything to pretend that I was otherwise busy, and worse, I had no weapon. This thought had be sighing and turning around to retrace my steps.