We drove quite a bit outside the city. I wasn't one for long quiet drives so I popped on my radio and listened to my cd collection. Angel by Theory of a dead man played. I zoned out thinking about my last tour in Afghanistan. All the people I had to kill. Men. Even children that one hurt that most I looked at the scar I had on my arm several burn marks from all the months of torture. Before I knew it I was snapped out of my trance by a car alarm and a red mustang pulling up around me.

It had to be Glenn and he was having the time of his life. I laughed at him. It was cute. Like nerdy cute. Glenn was far from my type. After another 30 minutes I saw what looked like a RV up ahead. We came around a mountain point. There were lots of people. I hopped out of my truck and walked over to see Rick.

"Hey you doing okay?" I asked him knowing he was probably blaming himself for Merle getting left behind.

"He had a brother."

"Who"

"Merle has a brother. His name is Daryl."

"Look cowboy, it's not your fault okay. He got himself in that mess. You can't blame yourself." He nodded.

"You are a welcomed sight." An older man said.

"I thought we lost you folks for sure." He gave Morales a hug.

"How'd y'all get out of there anyway?" An older man with brown hair asked. I could see him clearly but I could hear them all.

"New guys. They got us out." Glenn said

"New guy?" The brown haired man said.

"Yeah, crazy vato. Just got into town." Morales said then yelled at us.

"Hey helicopter boy! Sniper chick! Come say hello!" He yelled as Rick got out of the truck we walked up together.

"Guys a cop. Like you." Morales said. That's when I looked up and so did Rick.

It was Shane. My big brother Shane. I froze. Tears threaten to spill from my eyes.

"Sh..Shane?" I said loud enough for him to hear. He looked at me with shock on his face as I saw tears fall from his eyes. I ran over and basically tackled my brother. He hugged me tight and started to cry into my shoulder.

"Shane oh my god. I...I didn't think I would see you again." Shane pulled back.

"Are you kiddin' me little sis I thought you were dead. You're... You're supposed to be in Afghanistan." I laughed through my tears.

"I came back early to surprise you and all this shit happened. I went looking for you, Rick, Lori, and Carl. I couldn't find any of you." He hugged me again and then I heard a kid yell

"Dad!" I looked over to see Rick walking up to a little boy running.

"Carl!" He said through crying eyes. It was Carl and Lori. I stood next to my brother who looked a little off as he tried not to look at Lori hugging her husband. I had my whole family back but there was a tension in the air. Shane walked over and hugged Rick.

We spent the rest of the day settling in. I made sure my bike was still hooked up to my truck properly.

Night fell and we were all sitting around a campfire as Rick told everyone how he made it out of the hospital. How he got to Atlanta and found me. Carl and Lori were cuddled up into Rick and I was sitting next to Shane. I could tell something was up with him. I just couldn't put my finger on it.

"Mom said you died." I heard Carl say.

"Well she had every reason to believe that. Don't you ever doubt it." I say Lori looked up at Shane and they exchanged a strange look almost telling each other something.

"When things started to get really bad, they told me at the hospital that they were gonna medevac you and the other patients to Atlanta, and it never happened." Lori explained.

"Well I'm surprised after Atlanta fell. And from the look of that hospital. It got overrun." Rick said.

"Yeah looks don't deceive. I barely got them out." Shane finally says something to Rick.

"I can't tell you how grateful I am to you, Shane. I can't begin to express it." Rick said, trying to explain to Shane how much his actions meant.

"There go those words falling short again." Dale the older guy said. We all sat there silently till we heard a fire crackle. Shane and I looked up as Ed put a log onto his fire. The thing was big enough to send a smoke signal.

"Hey, Ed, you want to rethink that log?" Shane said

"It's cold man." Ed said basking in the bright light of his fire.

"Cold doesn't change the rule, does it? Keep our fires low, Just embers so we can't be seen from a distance." Shane seemed to be getting irritated with Ed. It was a smart rule who knows what out there anymore.

"I said it's cold. You should mind your own business for once." Shane got up. I could tell now he was pissed. He walked over to Ed. I could tell he was whispering. I could barely make out what he was saying. I saw Carol get up and pull the log out of the fire and Shane stomped it out. Then he got down a bit and was talking to her and her daughter Sophia. He got up and told Ed that he appreciated his cooperation. Then he walked back over and sat back down next to me.

"So Shane how do you know this fine young lady?" Dale said. I smiled at Dale's comment.

"Well this extra large pain in my ass is my big brother. His family adopted me when I was 10." I told Dale as I punched Shane in the arm.

"Yeah well you're a bigger pain in the ass Raven." Shane said. We sat in silence for a bit then Dale spoke again.

"Have you given any thought to Daryl Dixon? He won't be happy to hear his brother was left behind." He said to Shane.

"I'll tell him. I dropped the key. It's on me." T-dog said Rick shook his head.

"I cuffed him. That makes it mine."

"Guys it's not a competition. I don't mean to bring race into this, but it might sound better coming from a white guy." Glenn said, trying not to fire up an argument. He was right. If Daryl was anything like his brother then T-dog would be my last choice in who tells him.

"I did what I did. Hell if I'm gonna hide from him." T-dog said. I knew he wanted to be brave and tell him.

"We could lie." Amy said.

"Or tell the truth. Merle was out of control. Something had to be done or he'd gotten us killed." Andrea said getting her sister to not go on with her childish ways.

"Your husband did what was necessary. And if Merle got left behind. It's nobody's fault but Merle's." Andrea said, looking at Lori.

"And that's what we tell Daryl? I don't see a rational discussion to be had from that, do you? Word to the wise, we're gonna have our hands full when he gets back from his hunt." Dale said he knew Daryl a little bit better than most of the group.

"I was scared and I ran. I'm not ashamed of it." T-dog said.

"We were all scared." I said trying to help T-dog not feel so bad.

"We all ran. What's your point?" Andrea said, sounding like she was trying to guilt trip him. He already felt guilty enough I could tell from the look in his eyes he didn't need this.

"I stopped long enough to chain that door. Staircase is narrow. Maybe half a dozen geeks can squeeze against it at any one time. It's not enough to break through that. Not that chain. Not that padlock.." He said looking at the group. He stopped and looked right at Andrea.

"My point, Dixon's alive and he's still up there handcuffed on that roof. That's on us." He finished and got up and headed for his tent.

Slowly one by one everyone went to bed. I didn't though I stayed staring into the fire watching it die out. I was playing with my knife. I hadn't realized that I was giving myself little cuts on my arm. I was watching the fire and flashbacks started to hit me all at once. The feeling of a hot iron rod on my back. The cigarette burns along my arms. The whip scars. Each knife slash to my body. Each one started to hurt worse and worse as I sat there staring into the fire. I could see each one of their faces.

I was snapped out by Shane placing a hand on my shoulder. I pulled him down and held the knife to his throat. "Hey Raven. You're okay. It's just me Shane." I froze and removed the knife from his neck and helped him up.

"Shit, I'm sorry Shane."

"Hey it's okay. I was just coming to check on you. Are you okay?" I looked at him and sighed.

"Yeah I'm fine." He looked at my arm and the small drops of blood forming.

"Raven. You're not fine. Talk to me."

"I keep thinking about Afghanistan and Iraq. Since all this I cannot stop thinking about it." He wrapped his arm around me.

"Your okay little bug. You're here with me. Not there anymore." I smiled at my big brother.

"Thanks big bro. I'm gonna go to bed." He nodded. I got up and walked towards my truck.

"Goodnight Shane."

"Goodnight little bug." I went to my truck and crawled into the back, changed my clothes then got into my sleeping bag. I laid looking at the roof of my car. I couldn't figure out why I could fall asleep. So I got out, sat on the hood of my car and smoked one of my American Spirits. I finished it and finally got tired. Then I crawled back into my makeshift bed and fell asleep.