The first thing Hawk noticed in Sky's room was the bed - and not just because he hoped to get in there with her.

"That bed is—" he was at a loss of words.

"—insane?" Sky laughed. "I know, right?"

The said bed was an enormous four-poster bed made of dark wood and covered in ancient-looking carvings. The drapes that hung from the upper panel were of heavy, burgundy fabric and the whole thing looked like it belonged in a medieval castle instead of a bedroom of a 16-year-old girl in the Valley.

"Where did you get it?" Hawk asked, placing his hand on a column, feeling the smooth, polished carvings that represented ivy creeping up towards the upper panel.

"It belonged to my mom. And her mom before her etcetera," Sky shrugged. "Apparently it goes back hundreds of years. Mighty impractical when moving, but awesome for sleepovers."

Hawk replied with a nod, trying to hide the fact that the word sleepover had instantly thrown his mind into all the things he'd love to do with Sky if he ever was invited to that bed - all things that were probably considered 'funny business' by Mr. O'Brian.

Think about something else. About anything else—

To hide his emotion, Hawk cleared his throat, stuffed his hands into the pockets of his joggers that had suddenly begun to feel a bit tight in front.

Clearly oblivious to Hawk's state of mind, Sky pulled back the drapes and climbed to sit on the bed cross-legged. She opened the Ben and Jerry's tub she'd brought from the kitchen and held out a spoon for Hawk. "You coming, or do I have to eat all this by myself?"

She had only that one tub, and two spoons, and—

Hawk glanced around. There were no chairs in her room, except the one by her desk. She clearly meant that he should get in the bed with her. In that fucking bed—

Suddenly he was as nervous as he had been that night in his room when they had ended up making out on his bed. His heart was in his throat, the beats fast like the wings of a hummingbird.

He swallowed, but couldn't form an answer, just obeyed and followed her into the huge bed. Once they were both sitting on top of it, Sky tossed the spoon and the ice cream tub to him, reached to close the heavy curtains, and turned on a small lamp that was attached to one of the columns. Suddenly they were surrounded by soft, dark shadows as if they were in a cave - as if the rest of the world had ceased to exist.

Their eyes met over the ice cream, as Sky had a spoonful and took a comfortable, crossed-leg position in front of him. Her eyes were so green it took his breath away - he had never known anyone with eyes like that like she had a fucking spring in her gaze.

His throat bobbed.

Be an alpha.

Kiss her. Just kiss her now—

But she turned her eyes down, took another spoonful of Ben and Jerry's and the moment slipped through Hawk's fingers like water.

"You wanted to talk about something?" he said, to fill the silence, to get something else to think about than his wanting for her. The ice cream was hard, he had difficulties in getting any of it into his spoon, his fingers brushed hers slightly, as he tried to get a better grip of the tub and even that slight touch was enough to make his pulse quicken.

Sky shrugged. "Just wanted to apologize, I guess. And explain."

"Apologize for what?"

If she is gonna apologize for kissing me, I can't fucking take it—

"For what happened at the dojo, of course."

"You? Apologize for that?" He asked. "But it was my fault—"

"Don't be stupid. This wasn't the first time I was hit, and it's not gonna be the last time either. Yeah, it hurt, but—"

"But what?"

"The pain wasn't what got me down."

He arched his brows.

He remembered her face when she'd been on the floor, her drawn-back lips, the sharp gasps, and how he had felt like she didn't even know he was there.

"Then what was?"

"My doctor says I might have PTSD." She said silently, fidgeting the spoon in her hands. "It's this—"

"I know what it is."

"I get these... flashbacks. And I don't mean like normal flashbacks, like where you remember something that happened. I mean that I am literally drawn back in time like it is happening all over again."

Hawk met her eyes, the spoon in his hand was forgotten as was the ice cream and his former hormone overload. What she was telling him was some seriously deep shit, and she looked so fragile, so vulnerable, and the need to protect her flushed through his bloodstream making his heart swell in his chest.

"That happened at the dojo?" he asked, his voice raspy in his throat.

She gave a nod, started scraping more ice cream to her spoon. "Yeah. Basically, I thought I got shot again. I realize it sounds nuts—"

"It doesn't."

Sky shrugged and silently ate her spoonful of ice cream.

"Look," Hawk began, then cleared his throat. "I'm sorry for what happened. I don't know what you're going through, but—"

She looked up. "You want to know?"

"You want to tell?"

He had asked once before, that time in his bedroom, but she had told him that it was a story for another time, but maybe this was the other time and maybe she thought he was now ready to hear her sob story.

"I..." Sky hesitated, turned the spoon around in her fingers, once, twice. "I guess I'm just scared that if I tell you, you're gonna think I'm a crazy slut too, just like everyone does."

"Hey," Hawk said. "I would never think that."

"So you say," Sky made a face. "But let's see what you think when I'm done telling you."

She took a deep breath and looked down to the ice cream tub that was between them on the bed. Her slender fingers were playing with the spoon, restless, in constant motion - just like he had seen her play with a pen in the classroom so many times. The vanilla ice cream and the chocolate chips slowly melted on his tongue.

"I had this boyfriend, Matt." Sky began after a lengthy pause. "He was... not a nice guy. I mean, at first, he was, but then... he had this dark side."

She fell quiet for a moment, took a couple of deep breaths to calm the slight trembling of her voice. "He was violent. It was so subtle at first that I didn't even realize it... but it got worse. Once he threw me down the stairs. I broke a rib."

Hawk's throat went tight with anger that he almost couldn't control. "But.. you know capoeira. Why didn't you fight back?"

"That time I was drunk." She avoided his gaze. "And he was a big guy. Besides, he would always wait for a moment when my guard was down. Like when we were in bed... then he'd hurt me on purpose. Like suddenly slap me or punch me - when I was under him and couldn't get off—"

The muscles in Hawk's jaw tightened, he clenched his fist around the spoon so that it dug into the skin of his palm. He didn't want to think about Sky in bed with someone else, didn't want to imagine her like that when it wasn't him touching her, but some other guy, some fucking asshole. The jealousy had a bitter taste, but even worse was the knowledge that Sky's boyfriend had hurt her when she'd given him fucking everything—

He'd had a thousand fantasies about Sky (and other girls too, sure), and not one of them contained violence. Not one!

"What a fucking loser—!" He spat the words out.

Sky didn't reply. She tilted down her head, her curls fell to cover her face from his gaze. She looked so small, her shoulders were trembling slightly. It was clear that the words didn't come easily for her now.

"I tried to leave him, a couple of times. But he always managed to crawl back into my life. Promising he'd changed, that it would be different this time. But of course, it wasn't." A short silence. "Kat hated him. We fought about that a lot. She said she'd kick his ass for me if I ever asked."

"You should've let her."

"Don't you think I know that?." Sky snapped. "I've gone through every possible 'should've' and 'would've' during these past months—"

"Sorry," he said. "I didn't mean it like that."

She looked up and met his gaze. Her eyes were huge, tear-rimmed.

"I know," She said silently. She turned the spoon around and stuck it into the ice cream like Ben and Jerry's was the enemy. "Just.. believe me when I say that I know I fucked up. Everything that happened was my fault."

"How can you say that? That dude was clearly an asshole—"

"Yeah. But I should've dealt with it better." She replied. "Instead, I got drunk at a party and cheated on him with a friend of his"

Hawk's eyebrows arched high like they had a will of their own.

Wait, what? How many dudes has she slept with—?

And not one of them is me.

Sky clearly noticed the look on his face, her shoulders sunk. "Told you you'd think I'm a crazy slut."

"Would you stop with that?" Hawk replied, his cheeks heating. "I don't think you're a slut."

She gave a resigned sigh as if she didn't believe him, and returned to poking the ice cream with her spoon.

"It doesn't really matter. Just.. you do realize that if you tell any of this to anyone, I'm ruined? I mean, ruined even worse than I already am."

"I'm not gonna tell," he said. "And just so you know, I honestly don't think you're crazy. Or a slut."

"But you would like to get into my pants too, right?" She asked, and Hawk almost choked.

"Well, yeah, but—" he could hardly deny it. His wanting having been obvious enough earlier today, when she had laid her hands on him. "But it's not because I think you're easy. It's because... because I think you're fucking hot. And I like you."

Something softened in her eyes, the corner of her mouth turned upwards. "You know, I like you too."

His heart thumped painfully in his chest, it filled his ribcage so that it was hard to breathe. He wanted to kiss her so badly that his mouth watered, but something in her eyes held him back.

"But?" He said throatily because he sensed a but in her sentence. "You like me, but...?"

"But... let me finish the story first, okay?"

"Okay," he said. "Go on."

She abandoned the spoon in the ice cream tub, leaned her elbows to her knees, and sucked in a deep breath, letting it out slowly.

"I haven't told anyone about this," She said, "No one here knows."

"I'm not gonna tell."

"Not even to Demetri?"

"Especially not Demetri." Hawk replied. "He loves the sound of his own voice too much for his own good."

A ghost of a smile touched Sky's lips but disappeared almost instantly as she continued talking.

"So, Matt found out I had cheated on him." She said, her voice almost failing her. "It went as well as you could imagine. He got fucking furious, and... I told him it was all over between us, that I never wanted to see him again. But then... the next day... he came to the school with a gun."

A cold lump settled itself in Hawk's stomach, making it hard to breathe. He knew where this story was going, but it didn't make it any easier to listen.

"The bullet entered here." Sky whispered, barely audible, pointing at the spot on her shoulder where Hawk knew the scar was. "And came out here." She reached to touch her shoulder blade.

A long moment of silence followed. Hawk couldn't say a word, it felt like he was frozen inside, unable to draw his eyes off her shoulder. He was imagining the sound of the gun, the bullet, how it entered Sky's body - the blood, there must've been so much of it–

Suddenly he felt sick to his stomach.

"Kat was standing right behind me." Sky continued, her lips trembling and Hawk realized this story was about to get even worse, and some small part of him wished he didn't have to hear, but how could he leave now, when she finally trusted him enough to tell him what had broken her?

"The bullet went through me and hit Kat in the chest." She whispered. "They said it went straight through her heart. She was dead before she hit the floor."

"Sky—" he tried to say something, but before he could finish that sentence, she broke into tears and started sobbing hysterically.

"She died..!" She managed between the sobs. "And it should've been me! Don't you get it? That it should've been me to die there, to bleed out on that fucking floor—! Not her! Me!"

Hawk tossed away his stupid spoon. He took Sky's hands into his, her small, trembling hands, and covered her fingers with his. "Don't say that–!"

She was crying so hard that when she tried to speak, he couldn't make out the words. He let go of her hands, and cupped her face instead, brushing the tears off her cheeks with his thumbs.

"I'm glad it wasn't you," he said, forcing her to look him in the eye. "Because you're the best thing that has ever happened to me. And I wouldn't wanna live if you were dead."

But she was just shaking her head, tears running down her cheeks. The stupid ice cream tub was still between them, and Hawk let go of Sky only to toss it away, it fell to the floor under the curtains, and he didn't give a shit if it melted and stained the carpet, because he needed to get closer to her, needed to touch her, to pull her into his lap–

He wasn't sure how they ended up lying on the bed, but she was there in his arms, he was holding her against his chest and she was crying, crying so that her whole body was shaking as the sobs tore out of her chest. Her familiar scent of vanilla was mixed with the salt of tears and sweat - they were both still wearing their gym clothes - and it went to his head like a drug. And yes, she was crying, and it should've freaked him out as crying girls had always freaked him out - but it didn't. Because this wasn't just any girl. This was Sky, and he was falling in love with her.

He didn't tell her to stop crying, he didn't say that it was gonna be alright. Because it wasn't. Her friend was dead and she was wounded, because some asshole had ruined everything, and nothing he said was going to fix that, so he didn't even try. Instead, he just kept her close and held her, his hands caressing her shoulders, his fingers brushing away the tears that just kept on flowing.

He didn't know how much time passed. Everything around them was quiet, the heavy curtains isolated them from the rest of the world where life was still going on, hectic and loud and scary. But in here the light was soft, the silence gentle, and little by little Sky's sobs quieted, her body began to relax against his.

He was lying on his side, their legs were entangled, her face was pressed tight against his shoulder, her tears had soaked his tank top. He felt her breathing on his skin, through the moist fabric, and it sent shivers through his core.

The heartbeat in Hawk's chest was heavy and slow, deliberate. With painful clarity, he felt every individual beat, felt the burning blood that rushed through his veins. Hesitatingly, he began to caress Sky's curls that were moist with tears and sweat, his lips brushed the top of her head and she snuggled even closer. She was so fucking small and warm in his arms, her body fit perfectly against his, and he couldn't help the wanting that arouse in him.

Shit—!

After what she told me–?

She's gonna think I'm a fucking creep—

But he wanted, wanted her so that it made every conscious thought diminish and disappear.

He cupped her small face with his hands and gently tilted it up. He met her red-rimmed eyes that were still full of tears, her lips were swollen, her cheeks burning and she was so pretty, and oh God, it was so hard not to kiss her.

It was like his lips had a will of their own, and he pressed them on her forehead, on her closed eyelids, he kissed her cheeks - he drank the salt of her tears, and the primitive taste went into his blood like a shot of tequila. She didn't push him away, didn't tell him to stop. Her breathing came in fast, shallow exhales, and her small hands were feeling his chest, the shape of his torso through the thin layer of his tank top.

When he finally - finally - let his lips find hers, she wasn't crying anymore.

Their mouths crashed together almost violently. He tasted salt and iron and ice cream in the kiss, and Sky was making these soft sighs and moans into his mouth and the only thing he could think about was her, having her, getting inside of her–

His tongue entered her mouth, he rolled on top of her.

It felt so fucking good, it felt like he was freefalling from a plane without a parachute.

She was so small, her body was all soft curves and smooth planes and there were too many clothes between them. He wanted them off, all of them, he wanted to feel her naked body under his own, her breasts that were squeezed against his heaving chest–

And he didn't give a shit about the fact that Sky's dad was home, or that he had already broken the promise of 'no funny business'. Her dad was downstairs anyway, in his office that was on the other side of this house, buried in his books and papers, it wasn't like he was gonna hear them–.

It's really happening, it's really happening this time—!

Hawk wasn't sure which one of them got rid of his tank top. He started to peel it off, but she pulled it over his head - and then her hands were on his bare skin - on his chest, on his back, gripping his shoulder blades right where the Hawk tattoo was, and it turned him on more than anything.

He was between her legs now, she wrapped her trembling thighs around his hips, and oh God he was so hard in his pants that it was almost painful. She moaned as he ground his aching cock against her crotch, but there were too many clothes between them, still too fucking many–

And I don't even have condoms. Fuck, why didn't I bring them–?

"Hawk—" Sky breathed into the kiss. "Hawk, wait—"

He forced himself to break the kiss, pressed his forehead against hers. The breaths that left his lips were fast and shallow, his throat was so thick he couldn't even speak.

Sky's hands were on his shoulders, on the skin of his neck, gripping him tight. Her lips were almost touching his, and he wanted her more than he had ever thought it possible to want anything.

"Hawk, just... wait. We can't do it!" Sky exhaled, and he felt her words like a physical blow.

"Sky, please, I want you so bad—" Those were barely words, more like throaty moans that just fell off his burning lips. He couldn't stop the movement of his hips, the soft rocking against her, the pressure in his pants was fucking agonizing. She moaned and pulled him into another kiss, like she didn't want to stop either, no matter what she said, and his tongue entered - the slick insides of her mouth were so fucking hot—

She broke the kiss, panting, her hands were on his heaving chest pushing him away.

"Shit, Hawk—!" Her eyes were huge, their pupils dilated. "Don't you think I want you too? I've fucking wanted you since the first time I saw you—"

And someone knocked on the door.

It was an instant cold shower, and Hawk drew in a shocked breath, his body froze on top of her.

"Sky, it's getting late." the voice of Mr. O'Brian said through the door - thank God he didn't enter the room. "I think it's time for Eli to go home."

Sky swallowed, her cheeks were burning.

"Yeah, okay," She managed to sound almost normal. "In a minute."

"You need a ride, Eli?"