Sebastian's PoV

I let out an annoyed sigh as I read over the paperwork. I'm fucking sick and tired of it. Domenico been gone for a few weeks now, leaving me to fill in his job. This is why he does it. I don't fucking like paperwork unless I absolutely have to go through it and read every single fucking word. I couldn't find anyone who'd be able to do it properly so I decided it'll be easier if I just did it.

"You okay, babe?," my fiancée, Isabella, asked as she massaged my shoulders from behind me. I dropped the pen and leaned my head back somehow finding it relaxing. I let out another sigh and moved my head, giving her the hint to stop. She dropped her hands and sat in the chair across the desk.

She cleared her throat before opening her mouth to speak. "If it's too much, then tell Dom to come back. Maybe Vin can fill in for him." I narrowed my eyes at her. She let out a sigh. "I've forgiven him for what he said. Why can't you?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "Besides he can't keep his mouth shut for shit and we're trying to keep you out of the public eye, aren't we?"

She agreed. She's the one that said she wanted to keep away from the public for a while. That even includes our close family and friends at least until the wedding.

"How are you both? She been giving you any trouble?," I asked her, glancing down at her barely swollen belly. It's not as noticeable unless you know what you're looking for.

She chuckled lightly.

"Apart from kicking me and disturbing my sleep because she's on my damn bladder then no."

I let out a chuckle.

"I think I've decided on a name," she randomly said after a few moments. I let out a hum. "I want to name her Lili but with an 'I'."

I tensed. I cleared my throat as I stood up and grabbed my phone, glancing at it. "Shit," I cursed. "They need me at the office. You'll be okay here, right?"

She nodded her head as she furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. Don't act confused you know exactly what you did. I grabbed my stuff and immediately headed out to the car before driving to my company building. It's not like she can come with me anyway.

I'd tell you what we do but there's no point. All you and anyone else in the world needs to know is that the business is completely legal. Because of her.

Lili.

She wants to name the kid Lili. I can't help but think that the spelling of the name was done on purpose. She could've gone with Lily. Not Lili.

I entered the building and made my way up several floors before getting to my huge office. "What's up?," I asked Valentina who was waiting for me as I entered.

I may or may not have lied to Isabella about being needed at the office.

"We've got the potential buyers coming tomorrow," she stated. I nodded my head.

"How's Vin? And the twins?," I asked gingerly. She nodded her head as a small smile played on her lips.

"They're all fine. Vin misses you." I shrugged my shoulders acting like I don't care about Vin. Of course, I care about him, I've known him since we were kids.

"He should've thought twice before saying that shit to Isabella," I snapped. She let out a sigh.

"He didn't mean it. You know he's just looking out for you. Clearly, you miss him too. I'm sure Isabella has no problem with him."

"She doesn't. That's why he's still coming to the wedding. But how do you think it'll look to others if I welcome him back to work with open arms after what he said? If it was said in private, then maybe but it wasn't."

"I'm sorry. But Liliana's death hurt us all, not just you. Yet, we didn't decide to fuck the enemy," she spat out. I rolled my shoulders back.

They all keep on turning on us.

"Talk about my fiancée like that again and you'll be out of here just like your boyfriend," I threatened.

"He's my fiancé."

"Oh yeah?," I scoffed out. "We'll see how long that lasts until he can't handle being tied down again." She shook her head as anger bubbled up inside of her.

"All I'm saying to cut us all some slack. It's hard for us to accept the fact that you're with the person who killed her."

"She didn't," I said curtly.

I was the one who pressed the trigger.

"Sebastian, what happened to you?," she asked softly. "I wasn't here for a couple of years after she died and I have no idea what happened but you've changed."

"Death does that to people."

~

I woke up in the middle of the night, sweating and panting. I glanced to my side to see Isabella sleeping peacefully. I sat up and rubbed a hand down my face before getting out of bed and heading out of my bedroom.

This is my childhood home. The same one Liliana lived in with me when we had gotten married. I did build a house, the one I told her about and the one she helped me design. We began building before she died but finished just after. It never felt right living there with someone other than her.

Sometimes, I go there just to clear my head. It's peaceful.

I stood in the kitchen staring out of the window, just thinking about the same nightmare I've had every night since she died.

"I love you," I told Lili. No matter how many times we say it to each other, it doesn't seem to be enough.

"I love you too." She closed her eyes once again.

I aimed the gun. My index finger hovered over the trigger. A loud bang forced the room into submission as her body was forced to the floor.

I watched as her eyes widened in shock, thinking I'd never actually do it.

But I did.

The sound of the gunshot resonated in my mind as I realised what I had done.

I did it. I hurt her. I promised I wouldn't but I broke it. I always thought I wasn't one to break promises.

The floor around her was covered in her blood. I ran to her side. Her beautiful long strands of brown hair were sticky with her blood.

The one thing I'll never be able to forget is her face. She looked at me like I had betrayed her. Maybe I did but I shot her in a failed attempt to keep her safe.

People told me it wasn't my fault but I believed otherwise. I still do. I visit her grave most days when I can.

Sometimes, I think she's still alive because the day after, she was in the hospital talking to me. It just seems surreal. But complications can happen after. I'm guessing that's what happened to her.

I guess her talking about leaving the mafia life the day before and her death the day after was just a strange coincidence. She got her wish to leave but the only problem was that she left me behind.

But that's crazy.

She and our unborn child died and it's all my fault.