I watched as all the tall trees pass by in a blur, the soft hums of Jayden while the music of the car played in the background. With a sigh, I got frustrated with the new land, and instead, I pressed my head against the car seat and closed my eyes.

We were almost to the Alpha's mansion where we were told to stay. But I'm going to punch Evander if I have to, I'm not staying in a house with him. Again. Especially, since it is going to be smaller than the palace. I needed to put him in the past and I needed to move on from getting rejected. Staying with Evander wouldn't help especially since I was was forced to come here to find my mate. William didn't believe it when I told him I wasn't interested in finding my mate anymore. But honestly, it was everything that was bothering me today. Not only Mikey.

And the only thing I knew was that I needed a drink.

"Cheer up, Ri," Jayden groaned, looking through the mirror since he was in the front seat and I was in the back. "You will be back to your hospital habitat soon," he tried to give me hope. That was another reason why I was upset today. After the doctor's ball, I haven't been to work much and I've just been mind linking people when to take shifts and giving permission to those that wish to leave early. I haven't been in scrubs or my lab coat in a long while. "Screw you, Jay," I scoffed, ignoring him. Renee snickered beside me before I turned everyone out and shut my eyes.

_♤_

My eyes fluttered open and I shut them again as I allowed myself to be consumed by the comfort of this bed. And to make matters worse, the blanket was just as fluffy and comfortable. Even the pillow was so soft and silky.

I never wanted to move from here.

The longer my eyes stayed shut the longer I remembered how I got here. But that's the thing, I don't remember getting here. The last thing I recalled was falling asleep in the car. Judging by how this room was littered with Evander's scent, I knew I was in his house. Huffing, I pulled away from the blanket and draw myself out of bed. Everything in this room screamed wealth but I didn't allow myself to look around to room before walking out of the door.

I tried mind linking everyone but I couldn't, their links were off. And nowhere in hell, I was going to mind link William. My stomach rumbled and I instantly craved food.

To the kitchen, we go.

My feet lazily drag on the floor as I walked around the majestic house. Turns out, I got lost. Everything was dark and I was scared to open certain doors. I didn't even know how to find myself back into the bedroom that I woke up in. The house was filthy of Evander's scent making my wolf whimpered so I focused on another scent.

Alcohol.

I walked into the dark and cozy little bar room. It was empty, the lights reflected on all the different ranges of alcohol bottles. Some of them I have never even seen before. I grabbed a random bottle and a cocktail glass and threw some ice blocks in there before settling myself on the bar stool.

"Rieka?" My body stiffens at the sound of his voice. So frozen that the glass almost slipped out of my hand. "This room is taken," I managed to say as I brought the rim to my lips. I heard the footsteps drawing closer before Evander sat down next to me. "I didn't know you woke up," he stated and I ignore him. Trying to pretend he wasn't sitting down next to me was hard because his eyes were heavy as he studied me.

"Rieka?" Evander grabbed my chin gently, forcing me to look up at him. The soft sparks tingled under his touch. Mate or not those damn sparks get me every time. Though, they were much stronger before the rejection "Hi," I grinned, looking up at his bright hazel eyes. "Hello," he replied, stretching his mouth to smile. "I like it when you smile," I hear myself say. It must be the alcohol talking. When Evander only smiles bigger, I don't regret it. He tilted his head to the side," oh yeah?" His eyes laced with amusement. I nod once, looking at his lips before staring at his eyes. "It tells me your human and you're not a cold dumbass," I smirked, refraining from a laugh. Evander rolled his eyes and removed his hand from my jaw.

"That makes sense," he mumbled. Silence enveloped us as I began to finish my drink. Just as I poured another one, neither of us said anything until I brought the cup to my lips. "You should stop that," Evander broke the silence and pulled the glass away from my hand. Growling at him, I snatched back the glass and downed the rest of the liquid down my burning throat.

I hear Evander sigh and I turn to him. His hands were in his hair as he dragged them down his face before resting them on the table. "Why are you so set on getting drunk? Are you in love with him that much?" Evander asked me, seeming concerned. As I thought of what he said, I poured myself another drink. I took a large sip and let the burning drink trail down my throat before answering him. "I loved him but I'm not in love with him," I corrected him. Swirling the stick around the drink as my head began to spin. "Then why are you getting drunk? Not stopping you though I think the best thing is to stop," he added curiously. Licking my lips, I decided to finally tell him even though I don't know how to.

"I don't know, it's a lot of things actually. Realizing that a lot of people left my life, Mikey leaving, me fighting with William, getting rejected," I scoffed, bringing the tip of the glass to my lips before continuing," I feel like I have a lot to lose and I'm just losing it piece by piece..." my voice was soft, my eyes staring deep into the glass even though my mind was elsewhere. Evander shifted a bit, his lips parted to speak.

"Mikey is happy where he is. It was merely possible for him to come to the castle while you were asleep if you think about it," Evander pointed out and he was completely right. "William gets everyone pissed off if that helps and about the rejection thing you were just part of a bad mistake," my head snapped to his to see his sincere eyes already on me. William and I were more than getting pissed off. There was something wrong with him but I no longer wondered around Will, my attention was on Evander.

"A bad mistake?" I repeated and he hesitates but nodded anyway. "I'm so used to not caring for people and I'm not good at it, not even a little bit but I try. The reason I decided to help Iris was because my mother was abused by a man that convinced her that she was his mate for eight years before my father finally saved her. I couldn't believe what Iris had been through and the human part of me thought what if this was my mate and what if she was treated like this. So I helped Iris because if this was my mate I would want everyone to help her and care for her, to save her," my eyes began to water as he told me his intentions but I try for him not to notice.

My lips parted to speak but Evander continues, stopping me. "I was thinking about what if Iris was my mate and years later, I treated my mate like shit. As I said, I'm not used to caring about people. However, I had to make a decision and it was so messy. Then there was Ziekel...I couldn't let him be another reason you get hurt. I couldn't drag you into my family mess. When I found you I knew I had to figure out my situation before I give you all of me and I had to finally put my brother down. You had to hate me, you wouldn't want me. But when the mate bond was thickening I had to reject you.

I didn't want to and you know I couldn't stay away from you too long. Everything happened so quickly and it was so messy, Rie. I didn't want anyone to get hurt because of me. I'm not attracted to Iris anymore but I was. There were temporary feelings and I thought everything was okay for a while. Marking her was just to make the lie more believable but mating with her wasn't. That was our decision and I regret it all because I hurt you. I'm so sorry, Rie," Evander finally finished.

It's hard for me to accept all this information. But it's good enough for me, Evander isn't perfect and neither is his decisions. With the help of Mikey, they found a way through the lies. "Thank you for saving Iris," I chose to say, after a couple of seconds, meaning it. My mind was swirling even more and I regretted every bad thought I had towards Iris and Evander.

Evander held my jaw again, forcing me to look up at him. His thumb run across under my eyes to stop my tears. "I want to always be able to wipe away your tears," he whispered, staring deep into my eyes. "I hate that the one time I decided to help someone, to care...I ruin whatever we could have," he says after. My eyes softened, his tone was sad and truthful. Evander was fully vulnerable in front of me.

My hand wrapped around his wrist, keeping his hand on my cheek. "It didn't," I sniffed. Evander shook his head in denial and White groans. She just wants our mate and I agree with her. "You're drunk, you don't mean any of this," he pushed away my hand and removed his touch, creating distance between us.

I bite my lip as I studied him. I wanted to tell him that I wasn't drunk. It takes a lot to make me drunk. Four drinks is not a lot. But I stay quiet, I didn't want to seem desperate. Evander was giving me mixed signals but all I wanted to do was care for him.

"You're right," I sighed.

___________