He immediately starts crying. I put Dawn in the crib the go back to him. I lay down next to him and I start to rub his back. I can tell he’s reading the notes because every time I hear the papers move he starts to cry even more. I kiss him on the cheek. When he’s done he puts the notes in his pocket and slowly stops crying.

“Thank you,” he says.

“Are you okay?” I ask.

“Thank you.” Then we just lay there in silence.

“You know we can go home now. When do you want to leave? Gale, Claudia and Kiri are leaving tomorrow so I thought we should go with them but we can leave whenever you want to.” He nods his head.

“Thank you.” Then he pushes me away. I try to kiss his cheek but he pushes me away.

“Do you want anything to eat?” He just shakes his head. “Why don’t we just go to bed.” He nods his head. I help him get under the covers and cuddle up to him. He just pushes me away. I decide to give him his space and I go to the other side of the bed. I’m up until midnight not being able to fall asleep. For the past eighteen years I’ve slept in Peeta’s arms, whether I be warm or cold. Tonight he doesn’t even want me near him. I knew this was going to happen. When I do fall asleep all I have nothing but nightmares so I don’t qualify it as sleep. If it isn’t Peeta absolutely hating me, or me being back in the arena with the screaming Mockingjay’s. It’s Peeta dying from blood poisoning, or Dawn being killed in the fire. Sometimes it’s even Rue and Prim trading places so I see Prim get a spear to the stomach instead of Rue which hurt just as bad since Rue was so much like her. I know everyone can hear my screams at night but no one comes to my aid. Peeta just lays there on his side, motionless. I know he hears me though. He might be depressed but every time I screamed he would slide his hand across the bed and hold my hand. He wouldn’t let go until he thought I was asleep. I know he still loves me. Not only did I not get any sleep, every time I would scream Dawn would cry so I would have to get out of bed and rock her back to sleep. Eventually I just give up and around four in the morning I just laid down and I put Dawn on my chest. With her warmth radiating off her it makes me fall asleep. When I wake up it’s almost noon. I look at the other side of the bed and I see Peeta there. He hasn’t changed his position since yesterday. I shake Peeta so he wakes up. He doesn’t say a word. I go over to the other side of the bed and I start to stroke his hair. He doesn’t mind so I do it for hours until I hear him. He’s not talking but he’s crying. I hate seeing him like this. He hasn’t said anything but “Thank you” and nodding or shaking his head. I can’t stand it.

“Peeta, I know you won’t talk but all you need to do is listen. It wasn’t your fault for what you did. A completely different person took you over. That person was responsible for your actions, not you. You didn’t even know what was going on around you, so don’t blame yourself. Nothing you did affected your life. What someone else did is what affected your life,” I say.

“The scary part is, is that I knew what was going on the entire time. I tried to fight it but I couldn’t. I only remembered parts shortly after. But then I completely forgot. When you told me yesterday everything came back,” he says. This makes me cry. I just need to leave. I take Dawn and I start to head out of the room to go on a walk. When I leave the room I see Gale and Claudia walking down the hall. They were probably listening in on our conversation. I’m about to go out the door when I feel a little tug on my pant leg. I look down to see little Kiri.

“Can I hold her?” she asks. I nod my head and she runs over to the couch. Once she settled in I hand her Dawn. An instant smile covers her face. I sit across from her and when she looks at my face her face turns serious.

“Aunt Katniss, what’s wrong?” I try to hide my tears and my red face but I knew she already saw me.

“I’m fine,” I say.

“Are you sure? It looks like you’ve been crying.”

“Well I have but-,” she cuts me off.

“Is it Uncle Peeta that made you cry? Daddy said that if someone truly loves you that they shouldn’t make you cry.”

“Well, Uncle Peeta and I have been going through some tough times right now. But we still love each other.”

“You can tell me anything. We’re best friends so you can tell me anything.” Why must she be so cute? Even though iIm in a bad mood, she always seems to make me feel better.

“I’m fine Kiri. But I’m about to go on a walk, you want to go with me?”

“Yeah!” So I take Dawn from her and we go out on a walk. We walk to the town and I buy her some mints. When we get back Gale and Claudia have their bags packed. They’re sitting on the couch waiting. She runs over to Gale and he puts her on his lap.

“The hovercraft is waiting in the back. We were going to get Peeta out of bed but he locked the door,” says Gale. I hand Claudia, Dawn, nod my head and I head down the hall. When I get to our room I try to turn the doorknob but it won’t turn. I knock on the door.

“Peeta, it’s me. Can I please come in?” I ask. I don’t hear anything. “Peeta, please let me in.” Then I hear footsteps coming towards the door then I hear a little click. I turn the door knob and go into the room. When I see him he’s laying in the middle of the bed with his back turned away from me. I close the door behind me and I lock it. I climb into bed with him and lay next to him so he can see my face. He turns around. I start to stroke his hair.

“Why?” he moans. He is in mental pain. He doesn’t know what to do. It’s almost worse than him being hijacked.

“What do you mean?” I ask.

“Why did all of this happen?”

“I don’t know. But Peeta we can leave now. We can go home to Twelve and everything will go back to normal. All I will have to do is execute Paylor then we can raise Dawn and our new baby on the way. And live together forever.”

“It’s not that easy.” I just stay silent. “You know I didn’t mean it like that. I’m sorry, but can we just leave?”

“Yeah.” I help him out of bed and down the hall. When we come out I see Claudia bouncing Dawn and she’s laughing.

“Well it’s time to go. Kiri say goodbye to Greenland,” says Gale.

“Then where are we going?” she asks.

“We are going to go to District Twelve which is where Aunt Katniss, Uncle Peeta and I grew up.”

“Is Grandpa coming?”

“He’s already in the hovercraft.” She jumps off his lap, takes his hand and starts to pull.

“Lets go, lets go.”

“You can go with mommy.” Claudia hands me Dawn then takes Kiri’s hand and walk outside with her. Peeta sits down on the couch. Avoiding eye contact from both me and Gale.

“Peeta, I know you’re taking this hard,” says Gale. “But it doesn’t mean that you should be blocking any of us out. Katniss has been walking around town with Kiri and Dawn because she has no one else to be with. If Claudia and I aren’t at work we are trying to spend some alone time with each other. You were her life and now you’re acting like you don’t love her anymore,” says Gale.

“I still love her,” says Peeta still looking away from us.

“Well it sure doesn’t seem like it. Last night when she was screaming you didn’t do a thing. Usually you would wake up and wrap your arms around her and calm down, but instead you just laid there letting her scream. Letting her get up and make Dawn fall back asleep because of her screams. I know she didn’t get a lot of sleep by just looking at her. I know you’re in depression but I thought you would respect her a little more by comforting her or at least helping with Dawn. I thought you were better than that Peeta. I thought you made her happy, but it turns out that I was so very wrong.”

“I make her very happy.”

“By the looks of your actions, it doesn’t seem like it. Then here is Katniss. She’s been trying so hard to be there for you while you’re so upset, but you’re pushing her away. And what about Dawn? When was the last time you even looked at her? What happened to daddy’s little girl? Peeta you’re not just a baker from Twelve now. You’ve been in the Games twice and survived. You have been kidnapped by the Capitol and survived. You stayed strong when your family died, and stayed even stronger to please Katniss. You’re a married man now with a family and another kid on the way. You probably could’ve gotten away with this when you were sixteen and still a baker in Twelve, but now you are thirty four and you’re letting down you family. The only thing that makes a man a man, is staying loyal, honest, and loving to his family. Right now I’m looking at a boy.” Then he gets up, takes Dawn and leaves. Peeta looks up from the ground and locks eyes with me as if to say I need to do something about what just happened. All I do is shrug. I see his eyes tear up but he wipes them away. I go over to him and I help him get up then walk him onto the hovercraft. He sits on the opposite side of the hovercraft from us. He doesn’t want anyone near him. He just sits there and looks out the window. I have Dawn asleep on my shoulder, and then there is Kiri talking and talking and talking. She talks the entire way there, and Dawn sleeps the entire way there, and Peeta stays silent the entire way there. Once we land I hand Claudia, Dawn. I go over to Peeta and he’s still looking out the window. I hear little Kiri scream in astonishment at her new home. I can see her running around through the window. I reach out my hand to Peeta. He looks at it, whether or not to take it.

“We’re home Peeta. Don’t you just want to go upstairs and lay down in our bed?” I ask. He grabs my hand and I help him get off the hovercraft. Once we are off I take a look around Twelve and it looks completely differnet. I take a deep breath and take it all in. I look to my left and I see the woods. I haven’t been out there since the day after my wedding. My wedding. Does that even mean anything to Peeta anymore? All I know is that Peeta wants to go inside. When we get in there everything is the same, except the five layers of dust on everything. Nothing a little cleaning can’t fix. I help him get up-stairs and when we stop at our room he wants to keep moving forward.

“I need help getting down the hall,” he says.

“But we’re at our room,” I say.

“Your room. I’m sleeping in guest room.” My jaw drops and I shake my head. I let go of him right there and he falls to the ground.

“I thought you loved me! So if you want to sleep in the guest room so badly, then you can get yourself there.” I run down the stairs and out the door. I find Claudia and ask her to just watch Dawn for a little while. Since Peeta is not helping me out anymore I need to do things on my own, and I can’t carry around a little one year old in the process. So I go to town to see if I can find a crib, or things to make a crib because when we left I wasn’t even pregnant. When I get there it is completely transformed. It actually looks like a town. No more little run down stands or buildings. I couldn’t see the town from our house. Our house looks the same, the town looks different. Now there are very sturdy buildings for each of the owners of the little run down stands. Moira is the woman that usually sold baby clothes and blankets has a decent sized business now. I wonder where they got the money. I go in to see if there are any cribs and there are tons. I thought she only knew how to knit. When she sees me come in her eyes light up.

“Katniss?” she asks.

“It’s really has been that long since we’ve seen each other?” She runs up and hugs me.

“All of us here thought that you and Peeta abandoned us.”

“We would never do that. We just needed to go somewhere where Paylor couldn’t find us. Since she escaped we needed to go somewhere where we wouldn’t get hurt.”

“How long have you been here?”

“Only a few minutes.”

“Well then what brings you to my shop?”

“I need a crib.” She smiles. She doesn’t know about Dawn.

“When did Peeta finally convince you to have a family with him?”

“Last year. We have a one year old named Dawn and we have another one coming.” I put my hand on my stomach. She lets out a gasp.

“And you didn’t tell me?”

“Only my father, and Gale’s family knows since they were there.”

“You couldn’t send me a card or anything.”

“We couldn’t leave a hint on where we were.”

“So how are Gale and Claudia doing? He hasn’t been stopping by the town as much since him and Claudia were together.”

“Moira, brace yourself. A lot can happen in fifteen years.” She sits down behind her counter.

“Well for one thing Gale and Claudia are getting married. That just happened last night.”

“I always thought you and Gale were going to get married, with all the time you spent with each other. I never thought that you would marry a baker and he would marry a Capitol citizen.”

“Also they have a five year old named Kiri.” She gasps again.

“You kids are all just growing up so fast. I remember when you were seven and you would always come to The Hob with your father. Gale would always come by himself, the little youngster he was. It felt like just yesterday. Now you thirty five and Gale’s thirty seven, is that right? Time just flies.” I just nod my head. “So when am I going to meet Dawn?”

“Claudia is babysitting her.”

“Well where’s Peeta?”

“He broke his ankle yesterday so he can’t take care of her. He’s laying down in bed right now.”

“Well I wish him the best. Now why aren’t you there with him?” I need to make up a lie.

“He’s exhausted, so I need to do some things on my own for a while. Right now I need a crib for Dawn before night.”

“Pick any, it’s on me.”

“You really don’t need to do that. I have enough money to buy this store.”

“I want to. You said that Peeta has a broken ankle, Dawn has nowhere to sleep, you’re pregnant again, and you came home during the worst time just to help your District.” I stand there in silence for a while. What does she mean we came home at the worst time to help our District?

“I’m confused. What are you talking about?”

“Paylor has an entire army of Peacekeepers, of at least 250,000. She’s looking for you as we speak. She has these Peacekeepers scattered around the world in small groups looking for you.” I run out of the store and straight to Gale and Claudia’s house. I barge right in through the door and Gale can see that something is wrong just by looking at my face. He tells Kiri to go and find Grandpa then comes up to me and puts his hands on my shoulder.

“Is it Peeta?” I shake my head. “Is it Paylor.” I nod my head.

“Gale, we were told to come home not because it was safe, but to fight. They just told us Paylor was caught so we would come back. The rebels are forming again but Paylor has an army of 250,000. And if we can’t hide then we have to at least hide our families.” He looks at Claudia and she’s crying.

“You’re sure about this?”

“Moira just told me. I ran here as fast as I could.”

“You have to go tell Peeta and hide him. They will probably be looking for him first for a lure. So if they have him, we lose. With the size of her army we wouldn’t have a chance. We need to keep Peeta and the kids safe. During that we will just have to keep low and not fight unless they make the first move.” I nod my head. Claudia gives me Dawn and I go back to our house. When I get there I remember that I completely abandoned him. I go upstairs and he’s not on the floor anymore so he must’ve crawled into the room. I look into our room and he’s not there. I go over to the guest room and its open I go in there and I see him laying in the bed. I go over to his side of the bed so we are face to face. He starts to turn but I hold onto his shoulder so he can’t.

“Listen Peeta, I know I’m one of the last people you want to see right now but it’s time to listen and stop acting like a child about this. Paylor is out for us right now. She has an army of 250,000 and we need to fight. You, Dawn, and Kiri will be hiding since you are the lures. You need to get up and leave now.”

“Why should I? I feel like there is nothing left to live for anymore.” This makes me cry. What the hell is wrong with Peeta? I don’t know him anymore

“What about your wife of sixteen years, your daughter who’s only one, or our other on the way.” I take a deep breath. “Listen, it’s simple. All you have to do is hide where we tell you to hide with Kiri and Dawn. If you want to divorce me after the war then we will get a divorce. I just want what makes you happy.”

“I don’t want a divorce.”

“Well, you just said you have nothing to live for so what do you want?”

“I don’t understand.”

“What don’t you understand?”

“Everything. Us, Paylor, Dawn, The Games. Why do these things happen?” Peeta is confusing himself. He doesn’t know what he wants. He’s depressed, and I caused it. I keep a straight face.

“Well everything happens for a reason. Because we met I didn’t marry Gale and we had a daughter together. Because I killed Coin and Snow died Paylor became president. Because of my stupid decision all of this happened.”

“Exactly, because of you everything happened. Including us.” I’m crying now. Peeta has never made me cry, ever. He doesn’t love me anymore. No matter what he says, it is most likely to be over between us. I knew I should’ve chosen Gale. Being with Peeta was my biggest mistake. I should’ve known that I would get hurt. What am I thinking? I love Peeta, not Gale. I don’t care how terrible he acts, the love between us is an unbreakable bond.

“So you are saying it’s my fault that we fell in love. That it’s my fault that you had a crush on me for thirteen years.”

“No it’s my fault for falling for you.”

“So you don’t hate me and you don’t love me so you don’t want to get a divorce? And just the other day you said you loved me.”

“That was before you told me what I did.”

“To me it’s sounding like you are just using that as a cover. How long have you really not loved me?”

“I don’t know. I’m just confused.”

“So please just answer this question before I start to yell. Do you want a divorce from me or not?” He just looks at me. His bright blue eyes are starting to tear up. I still love him and he obviously doesn’t love me anymore. So I just leave the room but when I’m in the door way I turn around and begin to speak. “You can leave with me right now if you want to live.” He stays silent and doesn’t move. He turns around so he’s away from me. “Well, I hope you enjoy being drugged up and killing everyone you know and love, because that is what will happen to you.” Then I leave the room. I go downstairs, sit at the dining room table and start to sob. Peeta was the first love of my life and I was sure that he was going to be the last. Gale eventually comes in and sees me. He puts Dawn on the couch, stands me up and gives me a hug.

“Take a deep breath and tell me what’s wrong,” he says. I take a deep breath but I can’t stop crying. “I have never seen you cry so much.” I start to stutter what is going on.

“Peeta….and I…are getting…a…divorce. He doesn’t love me anymore.” He hugs me tighter.

“You deserve better. No man should make his wife cry.”

“But I still love him with my whole heart and I don’t know what I did that made him hate me. I thought he loved me.”