The next morning it was the tributes parade. All day before that happens I completely ignore Peeta’s room. It felt like forever until it was finally time for the parade but the worst part is, is that I’m not allowed to leave my room until they start training. The tributes will come out by their mentors last name and strangely enough Haymitch Abernathy’s tributes are first and in the chariot I see Gale and Claudia holding each other’s hands but not showing the audience like Peeta and I did. Eventually I get lost in the parade that I don’t even hear the knock at my door and next thing I knew Haymitch was standing over me.

“Why aren’t you at the parade?” I ask.

“I was just about to head there but I went to check on Peeta before I left and when I got there he was having a very strong flash back. Once it was over I asked him if he needed anything and he said you. Instead we just wheeled in a TV and turned on the tribute parade. He’s had a couple flash backs but other than that he’s doing great.”

“Then why are you here?” I ask.

“I was just going to let you know I left the door to his room open so in case you want to go and see him you’re allowed.”

“Why should I, our relationship is over. There is no turning back on what happened and we are getting divorced. Life will go on and we’ll be fine,” I say. Haymitch sits down on the bed next to me and grabs my hands.

“Katniss, he wants to see you, this is great. It would be a great part of his healing process-,” I cut him off.

“You said there could be a chance that he will never be the same,” I say.

“Yeah, I said a chance. But those chances are going downhill fast.”

“Haymitch it’s no use, it’s done and over there is nothing else to do but what he wants,” I say. He looks at me right in the eyes.

“He wants you,” he says. Haymitch gets up and leaves the room. Right before he leaves he stops in the door way. “And by the way sweetheart what happened to you not giving up on him.” He leaves the room and a million things cross my mind. I did say I wasn’t going to give up. And everyone has been telling me that if I give up he gives up. I still want my naturally kind, and sweet Peeta back, but have I crossed the line saying that I was going to give up. I think about this for a while and eventually work up enough courage to go over and see him. When I get in there are doctors are showing him mine and his memories and he seemed pretty calm. But when one of the doctors mentioned my name he started having strong flashbacks. I think he almost got out of the straps securing him down. I can’t take this anymore. I just march right out of there. I guess I didn’t pull enough courage together. He won’t be the same, I know it. Once I got to my room I swore to myself that I would never see him again until he’s his old him. I lay down on my bed and finish watching the parade and go to bed. I wake up with nightmares of me and him in the games and that we both got attacked by mutts. Peeta threw the dog off him and killed it with a stone but I died from the attack. But for some reason I could still see Peeta. He starting giving me mouth to mouth, but then he heard the cannon, and he knew I was dead. He starts crying and gives me one last kiss then leaves. But I can still see him even though he’s all the way to my right. I see him turn into one of those mutts and go and attack Cato, and then it was over. I tell myself not to be stupid to go over to the other side of the bed and cuddle up with nothing but the air. So the rest of the night I just look up at the ceiling wondering if Peeta will ever be him again. By the time it’s morning I’m exhausted, but I go to breakfast with a smile on my face. I walk down the hall and go through a door that had a strong aroma of eggs and toast coming from it. I walk in to see Haymitch and Effie eating breakfast.

“Come on dear, join us,” says Effie. So I sit down and start to eat even though I’m not that hungry.

“So do you think Gale and Claudia have a chance of winning?” I ask.

“Not sure. But keep a close eye on them when they’re in training today,” says Haymitch. It’s dead silent at the table for a few minutes until I decide to talk.

“How’s Peeta?”

“The same as he was yesterday. He was really upset that you didn’t come over though.”

“But I did come over, I just didn’t go in,” I say.

“Sweetheart he didn’t see you though,” says Haymitch. I just look down at my food and don’t say a word.

“Well now that that’s over with why don’t we start getting you ready for today,” says Effie. I just nod my head and she brings me down to Gino. Once she leaves Gino opens up his arms and I go right into them.

“Katniss, I’m so, so, so sorry that this had to happen to you again. But know in your heart that Peeta loves you more than anything in the world, he just has to find it again because right now the person that he is, is not him,” says Gino I just nod my head and he pushes me back and wipes away my tears the way Peeta used to.

“I just miss him so much,” I say.

“I know you do, but I heard that you have been pushing him away. Don’t do that. If he wants to see you let him see you, if he wants to hug you hug him, if he wants to kiss you kiss him because true love only comes once and if you lose Peeta you will probably never love again. Help him heal, because if you do that than I’m positive that the old Peeta will come back before you know it.”

“But he said that he wanted a divorce so he won’t hurt me. So he’s basically saying that the old him will never come back,” I say looking down at the rings on my finger.

“The only person that knows if he will come back or not is you. He doesn’t know if he will because he can’t control his own actions. He loves you,” says Gino. I just nod my head and he opens up his arms again. But this time when I hug him my prep team comes and hugs me to, I guess they heard to and they are comforting me.

“Now answer me this, do you love him?” asks Gino.

“With my entire heart, he is the best thing that has ever happened to me. If I could live a million lifetimes I still wouldn’t deserve him. He is the light of my life, and right now my life is dark,” I say.

“And you just remember that,” says Gino. I smile. I think this is the first time I’ve smiled ever since Peeta got hijacked. Gino sits me down in a chair and the prep team starts getting me ready. I close my eyes and when I open them I look like I did on my wedding day. My hair in the style it was for the reaping, and light makeup. I start crying, good thing they put waterproof makeup on me. I get up and I give each of them a huge hug.

“I love you guys,” I say. They all just smile then leave. Gino shows me what to change into, and once I come out I’m in a simple black shirt and black pants. When I see Gino he has my Gamemaker jacket in his hands. He helps me get it on and when I look in the mirror I look like and adult. I look like a person that can make her own decisions. A person who knows that Peeta will be alright if I can just believe in myself and him.

“You know you don’t have to be at the Training Center for another twenty minutes,” says Gino.

“Okay?” I say with confusion.

“Go say goodbye to Peeta,” he says.

“But it takes me forty minutes to get to the Training Center,” I say.

“Well they can’t start the training session without the Head Gamemaker,” he says. I nod my head and leave. I walk down the hall until I see Peeta’s room. I walk in and see no one in the room. I look through the glass and it looks like Peeta doesn’t have to sleep on a table anymore. He’s laying down in a hospital bed with his wrists and ankles handcuffed. I walk in and our eyes lock immediately. I know the Peeta that I love is still in there.

“Hey,” he says.

“Hey,” I say.

“What are you doing here?” he asks.

“Just came to tell you goodbye because I’m going to gone a lot now that the Games are about to start.”

“Not like you come in and see me anyway.” I stay silent. “Did your plan work,” he asks.

“Yeah, sure enough Claudia got pulled and Gale volunteered and I didn’t even have to fix it, it just happened,” I say. It’s silent between us for a while until I start to talk again.

“So how have you been?”

“Haven’t had a flashback since the night you didn’t come and see me,” he says.

“I came, I just didn’t come in the room because you were in a flashback.” His light blue eyes are staring right into mine. He slowly starts to stroke my cheek. My heart starts to pound. Being here with him reminds me of how much I miss him. I want to kiss him but I can’t do anything that will hurt his healing process. I have to wait for him, and that is something I am willing to do for him.

“I can’t risk hurting you anymore. You have to leave. You’re in danger to be here with me.” I nod my head then just leave the room, but right before I leave he stops me.

“What?” I ask.

“You look beautiful,” he says with a huge smile on his face. I smile then leave. I walk down the hall and into a hovercraft. When I walk in I see Haymitch, Effie, and Gino in it.

“You say goodbye?” asks Gino.

“Yeah, can I talk to you privately?” I ask. He nods his head and we sit on the other side of the hovercraft.

“What’s wrong?” he asks.

“Thank you, for telling me to say goodbye to him,” I say.

“Why, what did he say?” he asks.

“Well we were talking about the Reaping and when I didn’t come in and see him one night. Right before I was going to leave he stopped me and told me I was beautiful. I really think he’s starting to come back,” I say.

“See what saying goodbye to him could do. You could’ve just healed him more than doctors could do in a month. Katniss, if you keep this up he could be cured by the end of the games,” he says. I give him a hug.

“Thank you,” I say.

“For what?” he asks.

“If it weren’t for you I would’ve given up on Peeta,” I say.

“Then you’re welcome,” he says. We sit in silence for the rest of the ride. I didn’t know what he was thinking about but all I was thinking about was those last words Peeta said to me. “You look beautiful” is constantly running through my head. The last time he said that was on our wedding day. I felt like I should’ve said something back to him. I should’ve told him that love him, that he was the best thing that has happened to me. When we get to the Training Center the whole Training Center is transformed. All of the same weapons and targets are there but there new trees there for people to climb and new survival skill stations. Also where the Gamemakers sit is a lot closer to the ground. If I could I would just pull myself up then I’d be where the Gamemakers sit, but I can’t because there is a force field around us. Once I’m seated Gino, Haymitch, and Effie leave. And some random people that I have never met walk in. They are Capitol citizens but I don’t know why they would be here if it’s the Capitol’s Hunger Games. But I did get notified that Claudius and Caesar are the announcers. I guess Claudia wasn’t lying when she said her parents didn’t care about her. We all get seated and the tributes walk in. Atala explains the Training Center rules, and I can see Gale and Claudia’s face. I guess they learned that showing they’re fear only results in their death. Atala releases the tributes and the only pair I have my eye on is Gale and Claudia. I’m not surprised Gale skipped the survival skills, but I was a little disappointed that Claudia skipped them. She went to stealth exercises while Gale was at weapons. I don’t see why Gale would be at weapons, but then I see him swinging around a sword. It looks like it could be one of his strengths. Then at stealth I see Claudia barely even trying and she’s not even getting hit, while everyone behind her is getting hit or is falling. I’m glad to eventually see Claudia go to survival skills, and Gale to go to stealth. Gale was also pretty good at stealth which surprised me so he went to go help Claudia at survival skills. They got a fire going but they had to use matches, so they tried again and they actually got a fire going by rubbing sticks together. I was impressed because I’ve been in the arena twice and I still rely on matches. Gale and Claudia look like they’re getting closer with this experience. I always see her smiling or laughing after he says something. Probably about the Games, something that if the Capitol heard they would be punished by death. They remind me so much of Peeta and I. I miss him so much but I feel that something is wrong. He is healing really fast, but why am I complaining? The faster he heals the faster I have my husband back. Later than sooner the first day of training was over. I walk out of the room I was evaluating the tributes to see Haymitch waiting outside.

“What’d you think?” he asks.

“I think Gale and Claudia are the only ones with a chance,” I say.

“Well isn’t that great,” he says with a smirk on his face. We fly back to the control room and when we get there Paylor is waiting right by the door for us. She has disappointment on her face. I can tell something is wrong. I run over into Peeta’s room to see him having a strong flashback.

“She’s a mutt, she’s a mutt. Don’t believe anything she says, she’s a mutt!” yells Peeta. I turn around to go back to my room and I see Paylor in the door way.

“How did it happen?” I ask with tears running down my face.

“I went to go visit him to see how he was doing. He said he was fine so then I brought up you and he said that he was finally turning back to normal, he said that he would be your husband again soon. Then he closed his eyes to picture you or something and started going into a flashback. He’s been like this for at least fifteen minutes. Katniss don’t give up hope. He will be fine just give him a week or so and he’ll be like he was this morning. This kind of healing process takes time,” she says. I just walk past her and into my room and shut everyone out. I sit down on my bed with tears filling my eyes and start crying myself to sleep. Thinking to my-self why does this have to happen to me not once but twice?

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