bouncing up and down, practically shaking the corner table I'd snagged at The Coffee Haus. Checking my watch again, I realize Sebastian will be walking through the doors at any moment now. The nerves seem to claw their way up my throat as I allow my leg to keep moving up and down.

"Still not here, huh?"

I look up to see Sabrina pouring another round of coffee into my empty mug. I've already downed the first one, simply because I need to distract myself with something before I go insane with anxiety. Though, now I realize gulping down that coffee has probably added to my rising anxiety.

Shaking my head, I quickly thank her, pouring some creamer into it. "I'm about to shit my pants, Sab."

To my surprise, she shoots me a grim look, sliding into the chair across from me. The coffee shop isn't too busy, which is a shock considering it's a significantly warm Saturday for the middle of December.

"Why are you doing this?" she inquires, genuine curiosity coloring her voice.

Wringing my finger together, I shrug. "I'm tired of this back and forth. I just need to speak with him, and finally, end whatever it is that caused him to kiss me all those weeks ago."

Before Sabrina can respond, the bell above the door sounds, and I watch over her shoulder as Sebastian walks in, pulling his beanie off of his head before shoving it into the pocket of his coat.

I hold up my hand to signal where I am sitting, and once he sees me, his posture went rigid. I realize then, that this is also a conversation Sebastian is dreading as well.

Sabrina quickly gets up, shooting Sebastian a polite smile, much to my relief. A part of me was a bit scared she'd spit in his drink or something, though she still has time to do that.

"Hi, can I get you anything?" she asks, pulling out her notepad.

"Just a water, please."

Sabrina nods, shooting me one last look before walking away, leaving Sebastian and I cloaked in a rather uncomfortable silence.

"I'm surprised you texted," he says softly, looking at me earnestly. My message had been pretty ambiguous, deciding I didn't want to say everything over a text message. I'd simply asked him to meet me at The Coffee Haus so we can talk.

Nodding, I take a small sip from my coffee. "Yeah, I figured we needed to clear the air, especially after what happened at Helena's party and with the kiss."

At the mention of both of those events, Sebastian cringes slightly. I notice that his appearance isn't as polished as it usually is. His blonde hair is messily styled, a few tendrils falling onto his forehead. There are dark circles underneath his eyes, and his button-down shirt is extremely crinkled as if he'd pulled it from the bottom of his laundry basket. Even his eyes look a lot duller.

Our conversation is briefly halted as Sabrina comes back with a glass of water, Sebastian thanking her before taking a large gulp of his drink.

"I'm sorry about everything, Evie," he says hoarsely. His voice is thick with emotion, and I blink, not expecting it. "And I'm not just talking about the last two months, I mean for everything. For not being the best boyfriend, for not defending you when my parents were being assholes, for not being there for you like I should've."

"Why'd you kiss me?"

He blinks, probably surprised that I haven't acknowledged his apology. I'm appreciative of it, but Sebastian has been saying sorry for a lot of things since we broke up, and I'm tired of hearing the apologies without any explanations.

"It's complicated," he settles on. "I never wanted to break up with you, but my parents . . ." He trails off, focusing on the top of his glass instead of looking at me.

"They wanted you to marry Helena, right?"

He nods morosely, running a hand down his face. "My parents have been trying to merge with her parents' company for the last ten years, it wasn't until the summer ended that they proposed the idea of me asking Helena to marry me."

I can see the turmoil in his eyes. Sebastian respects his parents more than anything, and I know that he will forever do whatever they ask of him, and that is the most saddening part of it all.

"I care about Helena," he continues, "a lot. She was my first friend, and for a long time, she's been there for me with all of my family bullshit. But that's all I've ever seen her as, a friend. Not a wife, not a woman whom I want to have kids with someday." He looks up at me through his lashes.

"That had always been you, Evie." My heart constricts in my chest, and I force myself to keep my expression passive.

"Listen." Without even thinking, I reach my hand across the table, intertwining my fingers with his. Sebastian stares at our interlocked hands for a moment before lifting his gaze to meet mine. "I need to get this off my chest. You were the first guy I ever wholeheartedly loved. You made me feel special, and we made some of my favorite memories together." I sigh, blinking a few times to keep my tears at bay. "It took me so long to get over you, to allow myself to grieve over the relationship that I thought was stronger than anything, or anyone on this planet. I know that you need to keep up this sort of front for your family, but at some point, you need to start making decisions that benefit you, Sebastian, not anyone else."

He nods slowly, letting my words wash over him.

"I love you, okay? I will love you for the rest of my life. But we need to move on, I need to move on."

"This is about that guy you brought to Helena's party, isn't it?" His question isn't hostile, but one of actual interest. I smile, nodding slightly.

"He's helped me through so much, and he gave me this light that I didn't even know I had."

"I know my apologies don't mean much anymore," Sebastian says. "But I shouldn't have kissed you, I was just so confused and I didn't realize what was happening, or what I was doing until it was too late."

I shake my head. "The blame doesn't all fall on you, Seb. I kissed you back, and I think it needed to happen for me to realize I don't want to be with you anymore."

Sebastian flinches slightly, pulling his hand gently out of mine. It is becoming clear to me that this is the end. I've said all I need to say to him, and as I'd hoped, I feel much lighter than when I'd first walked into the coffee shop.

I can tell that Sebastian feels it too, the finale of our relationship. His expression is somber as he leans back in his seat.

Gathering my things, I shrug my jacket on, hiking my purse on my shoulder as I scrape my chair back. It feels rather reminiscent of our position all those months ago as I'd fought tears walking out of that restaurant. Except this time, I'm not overcome with grief and sadness.

Standing up, I take one last look at Sebastian, imprinting this moment in my brain one last time.

"I hope you figure out what you want with your life," I admit softly. "And if it's being with Helena to make your parents happy, then I wish you the best of luck with that."

As I move to walk past him, his hand shoots out, latching around my wrist. I look down at him, and for the first time since we sat down at the table, he looks relieved.

"I just want you to know that the last four years with you were probably the best years of my life. I'll love you forever, Evie."

Smiling sadly, I run my finger along his cheek, Sebastian's eyes briefly closing at the physical contact.

"Have a nice life, Seb."

Sebastian releases my arm, turning around to face the now empty chair I'd been previously sitting in. I take that as my cue to leave, walking towards the door without sparing a glance over my shoulder, letting the wind carry me outside, and finally closing a chapter of my life I am ready to leave behind.

• • •

"How did itgo?" Talia asks me as she stands in the kitchen. The aroma of garlic seems to greet me as I walk through the apartment door, my stomach grumbling at the thought of eating.

Instead of taking the train home after meeting with Sebastian, I decided to walk. It felt nice, being able to feel the tension leave my shoulders, to know that I am finally free from feeling the negative emotions of heartbreak.

Sliding into the stool across from her, I drop my bag on the counter. "It went well."

Talia looks at me from the corner of her eye, most likely noticing the giddy expression I am wearing. She smiles, turning back to stir whatever it is she is cooking in the pot.

"I'm happy for you, Eves. So, what are you going to do now?"

Grinning, I lean my head on my hand. "I'm going to go see Miles and finally apologize. I just hope he'll let me in." And with that, I don't just mean into his apartment, but back into his life. I am finally ready to admit to not only Miles, but myself that I can finally move on, and be in a new relationship.

And the only person I want to be in that new relationship with is Miles.

I notice at the mention of him, Talia stiffens slightly. She turns to look at me again, her eyebrows drawn down in an unreadable expression.

I frown. "What's wrong?"

She sighs, leaning on the counter towards me. "While you were out, Ronnie left to go meet up with Olivia. And on her way out, Miles was at the front door." My eyes widen as I feel my heart practically skip a beat. "He came to give you the painting he'd done for your internship application."

"Oh my god." I leap up from the stool, grabbing my phone as I frantically looked up his name.

"Evie, stop!" Talia scolds loudly. I freeze, looking at her in disbelief.

"I need to call him, I need to tell him that–"

"He said that he wanted me to tell you that he's sorry and that he'll never forget the last two months you guys spent together."

My entire body goes cold, a familiar feeling of dread seeping into my body.

"He had two suitcases with him," Talia adds softly.

"He's leaving." I slump against the counter, tears clouding my vision. Suddenly, I realize what exactly Talia had said earlier.

"Where's the painting?"

She nods in the direction of my room. "It's on your bed." I practically sprint in the direction of my bedroom, throwing the door open. And just like Talia had said, the painting Miles has done is perched on my bed.

I walk over to it slowly, uncovering the tarp wrapped around it, a sharp gasp leaving my lips.

It's beautiful.

He's painted a large picture of Jermaine Bowers using what looked like acrylic paint. And drawn all around Jermaine are the portraits of other Black people who've been killed by the police. There is Trayvon Martin, Sandra Bland, Eric Garner, Tamir Rice, and so many more. Each woven into one another, connected and bound by the brutal ways in which they were murdered.

I want to cry, sniffing slightly as my eyes moved over the entire drawing. I know Miles is talented, but this is otherworldly.

I have to see him.

Running out of my room, I grab my jacket, startling Talia who has been grabbing bowls from the cabinet.

"Where are you going?" I am halfway to the front door when I stop, my chest heaving up and down as I look back.

"Listen, can I borrow your car?" I ask breathlessly. "I need to see him before he leaves, I need him to know everything before it's too late."

Talia is already nodding, pointing to her car keys that are hanging by the entryway. "Of course, take it."

Smiling gratefully, I quickly pocket my phone, grabbing her keys and looping the keychain around my finger. "Thank you."

I throw open the door, bolting down the hallway and in the direction of the apartment garage, praying the entire way there that I'm not going to be too late.

happy valentine's day my lovers <3 my present to you, even though this chapter isn't every lovey lol ;)