𝙍𝙚𝙢𝙚𝙢𝙗𝙚𝙧 𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙙𝙖𝙮 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙩𝙖𝙪𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙢𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙡𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙄 𝙩𝙖𝙪𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙩𝙤 𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙮?

- 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗦𝗲𝗶𝗴𝗲

~ 24th December 2017 ~

"Daisy...was a free spirited soul. She didn't like doing as she was told. She did her own thing and abided no rules except her own...I think that was my sisters coping mechanism. I don't know." With that I close my eyes.

I can't believe she's gone. She's gone without a note...nothing. She left the face of the world with nothing but a present for each sibling. Her money, car keys and her penthouse for Alister. A box filled to the top with cocaine for Georgie. Inside of his box lid it said 'you're better than this' in her fancy cursive writing...with a ripped holiday picture of us kids from when we was young.

I got a wilted daisy chain for me. No note...nothing. Just a daisy chain. The box is small. We all have the same size. It was wrapped up in wrapping paper...the one she'd always wrap our presents up in every year since we was little. She didn't even need to write our names on them...because we know which ones are which by now.

"Growing up it was just the four of us. When dad died...me and Daisy looked after mom. Daisy was ever so gentle with mom...until her dying day." I close my eyes as I remember hearing my sisters screams. She pleaded our mom to wake up...but she didn't. Mom died of cancer, the doctors said her cancer worsened because of the pain of loosing our dad. They was such a close couple, to my knowledge they never had a fight, they barely disagreed and when they did they was not joking. Dad died a year before mom, got accidentally shot at in a store robbery while buying popcorn and a movie from Blockbusters.

If Dad didn't...go out that night then he would've been alive. But it was all my fault, he went to Blockbusters because I fell down the stairs and accidentally broke my arm. He wanted to cheer me up so he was going to rent out a movie that I was too young to watch...much to mom's horror.

Ali was with him at the time. Dad joked that Ali was 'the male heir in waiting' since wherever he went Ali followed. I guess that's why Ali has became like my father...and not my brother.

He had the best training.

But that night...ruined my big brother. He held dad as he bled out on all of the B rated movies. It was all my fault - if only I didn't tell them my love for that shitty movie. It was a store robbery gone wrong. The homeless woman, who ended my father's life, bolted - she was found dead a month later...a suicide. It's what that scum deserves...she took the most innocent man's life.

After his death our mom deteriorated. Her cancer lit up like July the 4th. It took her life.

Ali is the oldest, he's just turned thirty eight. Twelve years older than me. Daisy was the second oldest. My beautiful sister was born eleven months later that year. Just like how Alister became our dad - literally to claim benefits - Daisy took the role of mom...pretty well. I'm pretty sure my deadbeat twin of mine called her 'mommy' accidentally. Everyone did think we was a family in the end. We looked like one.

"We made life work for the four of us. Daisy would stay home at night looking after Georgie and Maisie while I worked" - I uncomfortably fidget around in my seat while I feel the rest of the family looking at me - "and I would stay home all day just in case if the twins needed us. It was like that until they was eighteen..." Georgie moved out straight away. He hated it. He's always hated Ali, he had an alright relationship with Daisy...the slimy fuck loved me.

He was always going on that we share a unseen 'twin' sense. He feels what I feel. One time he told me that if I feel depressed it's okay to talk - of course I called him a weirdo...but to be honest that was a dark time. Just after our parents died and I wasn't sleeping right nor was I thinking straight. I was a depressed wreck.

But today isn't about that pathetic excuse of a human.

It's about our Daisy. From helping me realise that I wasn't dying on my first period...to telling me what to look for in guys - she was like my knight in shining armour. I'll never forget the last time when we spoke, she brushed the side of my cheek and weirdly whispered with a smile 'if only you knew'. I still don't know what that means...to be honest it's making me feel sick that I'll never probably know. Last thing she said was a tearful 'sorry' and a kiss on my cheek. She acted like I was her trophy...I guess I am since she more or less raised me up with Ali.

I tried asking Ali but he told me to 'shut the fuck up and don't repeat anything Daisy told me'. He took her death the worse. It's kind of...creepy. I guess they was each other's light.

I wonder if she knew...what she was going to do the last time we spoke? She didn't know any of the symptoms movies and tv's shows two you about...she was calm and happy. Less stressed than what she was before. She spoke so much sense that she legitimately lost her mind...

Well she had to loose her kind for what she did next.

Loads of people never believed the three of us was related to Daisy. She had light brown hair, a beauty spot and pretty brown eyes. We have blue eyes, dark hair and no...beauty spots or moles. She is also more tan and...has different religious beliefs. I don't know - Daisy never lives by the book.

Seeing her sleep in her coffin...it makes me tear up. But I've ran out of tears and my whole body just feels tried and numb at this point. Daisy didn't deserve any of this...she didn't deserve to feel the way she did while she fucking died.

I can't sit here either. Even though I hate Georgie he still deserves to be here, Daisy was like his mom. Just like how she was to me.

I stand up but Ali calls me out...literally over the microphone. "Maisie..." his voice is weak. It legitimately cracks. "This is bullshit!" I cry feeling that sick feeling coming back. "It's bullshit! She's dead! For no fucking reason and Georgie is missing!" Daisy loved Georgie the most. I don't get how she can when she gave him such...a horrible present.

"You're embarrassing me." He hisses. I laugh looking at him. "You're not dad. You're nothing like him. You have no right to tell me what I can or can't say. I'm done with you and I'm done with Georgie!" We've had our problems in the past. Mainly because he thinks that he is the authority figure...that he possesses power over the remaining siblings because he's the oldest. But this...arranging a funeral without Georgie - does he even know she's dead?

This is all wrong. Daisy wouldn't of wanted this.

Our other hypocritical family members turn their cheeks and bicker amongst themselves which angers me. "You Guys was never there for us! While teenagers worked their asses off for two pre-teens..." It's true. "Jesus Christ! Maisie just get out!" Ali points towards the church doors angrily. "Get out and never fucking come back."

I already said goodbye to my big sister anyway.