𝘼𝙣𝙙 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙨𝙖𝙞𝙙 𝙬𝙚 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙘𝙚 𝙞𝙣 𝙙𝙪𝙨𝙩

- 𝗕𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗹𝗹𝗲

~ January 31st 2019 ~

It's been a year since I first saw Maisie Chain.

I can't believe how fast the time has gone. I met her by the side of the keg...but that's gone now. Just like she's been gone for the past four months. I'm still not used to not seeing them. Sophie, my friend since uni, got rid of it because it's 'an eye sore'.

Maisie probably dumped me for numerous reasons...other than me not willing to be a father. Probably because I'm a 'eye sore' too.

A year on and I'm in the same apartment party...on the same street. Less people though - and the music is low - dry January hasn't been a thing for me this year. I have no need to celebrate anything. Instead of people shouting at the top of their voices, my friends quietly bicker away over a board game and what they've been doing for the past few weeks.

It's not like we've grew up since last year - it's just that everyone has had a mildly shitty January. That and a few of our mates are on a post Christmas break, they should be back in a few days though. It's not the same at all without them.

I on the other hand took a veil to stay as quiet as possible. I'm just not in the mood for monopoly or charades. I'll gladly drink all of their wine though. I feel like I'm immune to drink at the moment, which is good because god knows what I'd do if I got ahold of my phone with Maisie's number.

That's when Ralph settles his wine glass on the glass coffee table in front of us and sits down on the floor besides me....while the others go and look at something in Sophie's room. I miss living here.

"You'll never guess who I bumped into on my travels." Ralph softly whispers as I shrug my shoulders back. "I'm not really in the guessing mood, you know?" I don't look at him. I just know his smiling at my sarcasm. At the moment I feel like that's all I have left. Sarcasm. I might as well use it to my best and fullest extent.

"Maisie." With that I curiosity look at my mate. "She's...got a bump man. Guess it's really true..." I never doubted Maisie's pregnancy anyway. She's not the type of girl to lie about something as...awful...as that. It's the remaining dickheads surrounding me who doubted her. "Did she say it was healthy?" Ralph smiles and nods his head a little.

"I know the sex if you want to...know?" I shake my head. I don't need to know. It's not like I'm going to be seeing the baby - or even supporting it. Maisie made it clear that she want's nothing to do with me...even benefits. "You're lucky having a kid out there man." I ignore Ralph. I just think of Maisie.

"How is Maisie? Is she...okay?" Ralph shrugs his shoulders backwards before smiling, I'm taking that as she's okay. "You know that she's all by herself in Italy right? Five months pregnant...alone...." I nod my head, even though I would've thought a nice person like her would've made new friends. "Her and the baby are perfect. She told me everything about the baby...couldn't stop talking about it. I've never seen her more...happy." Well that's fucking awkward for me to hear.

"She's really maternal. A great mother, she invited me and Ben back to her place. It's like a small villa...cozy. The nursery is yellow and white...she got painters in to paint it before she found out. It suits it though." So the babies sex suits the colour? We live in a world where we can stereotype colours anymore so fuck knows what that means.

I didn't want to know anyway...

"But Maisie...is she okay? Did she seem off or?" Ralph shakes his head with a smile. "You don't look relieved that she's okay." He looks confusedly at me. I on the other hand take a large sip of wine.

"I was just hoping by now she would've came to her fucking senses, you know? She's up for a Grammy next...this...month or whatever. A fucking Grammy. In the entirety of Bastille's career we've been up for only one. Fucking one. But she comes in out of nowhere - gets in more or less every Grammy category...which is the first person in history to do that. And she is fucking 'being a good parent'...you can still be a good parent and claim your awards." Well it's two now since Flowerbed is...nominated for the best collaboration of the year.

"I kind of really respect her. What she's going through is hard...and alone with no help. She's fucking brave." It's only a kid. "Mate, why are you talking like that. It's a baby...a thing she wants. It isn't like she has cancer." Ralph rolls his eyes at my stupid comment. "I'm just fed up of people...making out like she's a god because she is a single parent. In a situation like ours you're meant to talk and discuss how you really feel about a baby. We didn't talk. She demanded she was going to have the baby and that I get no say. I'm not forcing her to get an abortion - I just think it would've been the right choice. We worked so hard for our music careers and now both of ours are pretty much non-existent." Ralph sits up a little from leaning back on the bottom of the sofa.

"Elaborate..." his voice trails of as I sit up too. The sofa is digging into my back. "Not only am I shit musician without Maisie...people think I'm a bad man. They don't know why I don't want nothing to do with the kid...and every single day I loose followers or see these spiteful tweets saying that I never deserve a happy life in the future or whatever." Ralph laughs. I think he is on the boarder with me at the moment. He doesn't know whether to side with everyone else, or with me.

The room falls silent. "Maisie...asked me...to tell you that she's going to raise the baby up saying that you love it. She says that her baby doesn't deserved to be hated by anybody in the world...especially it's own father. It's a lie that I support." Before I can say...anything at all for that matter, Ralph stands up and takes his glass. Neither of us say anything else.

I continue to sit on the floor feeing really fucking weird after what Ralph just said. Who wouldn't feel weird?