"All right, let's, hum, let's gather around. Sorry I'm late, guys. I was with Principal Figgins." Mr. Schue said, as he pulled out a chair to sit in front of the kids. "Bad news, guys. Puckerman's in juvie."

"It really was just a matter of time." Tina scoffed.

"What did he do?" Quinn asked.

"He drove his mom's Volvo through the front of a convenience store and drove off with the ATM." Mr. Schue said, as some of the kids snickered.

"And when is he getting out?" Rachel asked.

"Unknown." Mr. Schue said.

"He might be the dumbest person on this planet, and that's coming from me." Brittany said, pulling some more laughs from the kids.

"Guys! Let's have some sympathy." Mr. Schue reprimanded.

"For a guy who puts his needs before the team's?" Finn scoffed. "We need his voice and his bad-boy stage presence."

"We can't look at this as a crisis." Mr. Schue argued. "It's an opportunity."

"For what?" Quinn rolled her eyes. "Further embarrassment and humiliation?"

Standing up, Mr. Schue shook his head with a smile.

"For welcoming our new member... Sam Evans!"

At that, a new boy walked in and when Finn perked up in his seat, Piper assumed this was his buddy Sam from the football team who had bailed on auditioning a few weeks before.

"There he is." Mr. Schue greeted, as Sam stopped beside him. "How's it going?"

"Hey, everybody. I'm Sam." He smiled as everyone just stared at him for a second. "Sam, I am... And I don't like green eggs and ham."

"Oh, wow. He has no game." Santana snickered, causing Finn to stand up, quick to come in Sam's defense.

"Okay! This is gonna be great!" He said, patting Sam in the back. "You're not going to regret joining, Sam."

"Oh, good."

"Sam, you sit right here." Finn said, pointing at a chair in the front row.

"All right!" Mr. Schue said, as soon as Sam sat down. "Question for the group. What's a duet?"

"A blanket." Brittany said, as everyone took a moment to stare at her.

"A duet is when two voices join to become one." The teacher continued. "Great duets are like a great marriage. The singers complement each other, push each other to be better. Now, some people may think..."

"Pssst!" Kurt called, causing both Piper and Mercedes to stop paying attention Mr. Schue to look at their friend instead. "He's on team gay."

"You think so?" Piper frowned. "He looks pretty straight to me."

"For sure." Kurt nodded. "No straight boy dyes his hair to look like Linda Evangelista circa 1993."

"You're crazy, circa 2010." Mercedes shook her head.

"I have no idea what you're talking about right now..." Piper mumbled.

"And that is what duets are all about." Mr. Schue was saying when Piper decided to pay attention to their teacher again. "So, this week I want you to pair up and sing a duet. And, since you guys all seemed to love our little Defying Gravity diva-off, I'm making this a competition."

At that, everyone cheered, growing all excited about the prospect of some healthy competition.

"What's the winner get?" Mike asked the question in everyone's minds.

Smiling when all the kids looked at him expectantly, Mr. Schue chuckled as he pulled out his two coupons from Breadstix to show them to the kids.

"Dinner for two, on me... At Breadstix!"

And, at that, everyone cheered excitedly again, shouting over one another how they needed to win and how excited they were. Smiling contently, as well, Piper turned to Mercedes when her best friend turned to Kurt then.

"Who you gonna sing with, Kurt?" She asked, and when Kurt responded with only a smirk in Sam Evans' general direction, the two girls exchanged glances.

Well, there was their answer, apparently.

***

"So, you are singing with Sam, then?" Piper asked, confused after Kurt's long and very fast ramble about his duet partnership situation.

"I mean, he said yes." Kurt said, as Piper nodded.

"Then you are?"

"I think so." Kurt sighed. "But Finn and my dad think it's not a good idea."

"Why?"

"Basically they both said I can't take no for an answer."

"Well, to be fair, you are very difficult to deal with." Piper smirked, as Kurt hit her arm playfully. "That doesn't mean you shouldn't sing with Sam, though. I mean, it's not like you're gonna set up his mom with your dad, right?"

"You're such a bitch, sometimes." Kurt scoffed with a laugh as Piper just chuckled.

"Just being honest."

"Fine, whatever, I'll see what I'll do about it." The boy rolled his eyes, before wrapping his arm around Piper's as the two of them walked down the hallways together. "In any case... Who are you singing with?"

"Well, I've asked Mercedes just this morning, but she apparently already agreed to sing with Santana, so I don't know..."

"Well, I'm not sure if it matters — but I think it does... A little birdie told me Ms. Fabray doesn't have a partner yet." Kurt smirked, as Piper scoffed.

"Yeah, and who is this birdie of yours?" She asked, laughing when he waved his hand around a bit.

"It doesn't matter." He said. "What matters is that you're free, Quinn is free... You see where I'm going with this, right?"

"Yeah..." Piper sighed quietly. "I see where you're going with this. But the fact of the matter is... I don't even know if she'd want to sing with me. I mean... After summer, we kind of... Lost contact a little bit."

"Well, you'll never know if you don't try it, right?" Kurt asked, smiling at Piper as she shook her head affectionately at him. "Anyway, I have my sewing club now, so I'll see you later, okay?"

"See ya."

And pressing a quick kiss to Piper's cheek, Kurt walked away from her and toward his next class, leaving Piper alone in the cafeteria so she could use the time of her free period to actually consider what Kurt had said, this time around.

***

After Santana and Mercedes' incredible performance, Piper had decided that she couldn't wait any longer and she needed to find a partner for the competition. So, swallowing her fears, she decided to go up to Quinn and ask if she'd like to sing with her. Unfortunately for Piper, it seemed like she had waited too long for it because, just as soon as she had found Quinn walking by herself down the hallway, no one other than Sam Evans did too. Piper stopped then, watching the two of them as they talked, smiling at each other all the time before going their separate ways. When Quinn turned around to leave, Piper noticed how Sam celebrated quietly and, just like that, Piper knew she had missed her shot again.

"Damn it..." She mumbled, leaning against some lockers behind her as she rubbed a hand over her face.

Before she could drown herself in self-pity, however, Piper frowned when she noticed no one other than Brittany S. Pierce standing beside her, with a small smile on her face as she looked down at her, being a few inches taller than the girl.

"Hey, Britt." Piper spoke up when Brittany didn't. "Do you... Do you need anything?"

"Yeah, I was actually wondering if you'd like to be my duet partner." She said, and, at that, Piper frowned.

"Your duet partner?" She asked. "You barely even talked to me before."

"Yeah, well, I spent half of last year thinking you couldn't speak English because Santana told me you were a Lebanese."

"What?" Piper frowned, confused. "I was born here. In Lima."

"And what does that make you?" Brittany asked, clearly lost in this conversation as well.

"American."

"So... You're not Lebanese?"

"No. Why would Santana say... Wait a second..." Piper blinked. "Do you possibly mean to say that Santana said I was a lesbian?"

"Is what I just said." Brittany tilted her head a bit, confused.

"You said Lebanese." Piper corrected.

"And what are you?"

"A lesbian."

"Oh." Brittany nodded, before frowning after a second. "I thought you said you were American."

"I..." Piper cut herself with a laugh, shaking her head as she smiled sweetly at the clueless girl in front of her. "Fine, the point is... I speak English. Fluently."

"Oh, great!" Brittany beamed as Piper giggled a bit. "So... You'll be my duet partner?"

And, at that, Piper hesitated, because, sure, Brittany wasn't exactly who she wanted to partner up with for this project, but the one she wanted to sing with was apparently singing with someone else. And, besides, it was just a duet, right? It couldn't hurt to give Brittany a chance. Who knows, maybe they'd end up being good friends...

"Sure." She decided, then, giggling again when Brittany smiled. "Sure, I'll... I'll sing with you."

***

"Okay, guys, so... Who is up first today?" Mr. Schue asked, as he walked into the choir room the next day.

"Mr. Schue, if I may?" Kurt called, raising his hand.

"You may."

With the teacher's authorization, Kurt stood up then and confidently made his way to the middle of the choir room.

"As many of you know, I had a duet partner, but due to sensitivities I'd rather not get into at the moment, I have dissolved the partnership." He said, as Mr. Schue frowned.

"Okay, so who are you going to sing a duet with?" He asked.

"Only the most talented member of the glee club... Myself." Kurt said, and at that, Piper bit back a laugh. So that was Kurt's amazing plan to still be in the duets competition while not actually having a partner. "When you're different, when you're special, sometimes you have to get used to being alone. I've asked a few members of the glee club as well as some Cheerios to help me out."

"How can you do a duet by yourself?" Santana scoffed. "That's like vocal masturbation or something."

At that, some of the kids laughed, but Kurt remained unbothered.

"I will be doing a number from the seminal classic movie Victor/Victoria. It's a show about embracing both the male and the female sides." He said, before glaring at Santana as the girl raised an eyebrow at him. "Watch and learn, Santana. Hit it!"

And in spite of the fact that Piper had actually thought Kurt was insane for doing a duet by himself, she couldn't really deny it... With all the choreography, costumes and theatrical, Kurt had managed to pull off a near perfect Le Jazz Hot and Piper was not in the least ashamed to admit she had screamed the loudest for Kurt and his performance as soon as he was done.

***

It was true that Piper had never seen Brittany sing, properly, but the girl had always been able to keep up with every group performance they had in glee, so Piper supposed the blonde knew a thing or two about singing. It was reasonable after all, right? But it wasn't true at all because, if they were to judge based on Brittany's difficulties in following Piper in a simple vocal run, they would certainly have lots of work.

"Okay..." Piper groaned, rubbing her temples, slightly annoyed after Brittany's 10th attempt on a run that ended up failing again. "Forget the runs. At least you're warmed up already, I guess."

At that, Brittany nodded, slowly getting up from her bed as she made her way toward where Piper was sat in a settee.

"Let's just... Let's just pick a song so we can figure out how to perform." Piper said, looking down at all of the music sheets in her lap that she had brought with her as she went through her options. "We should do something a bit more upbeat, so we can dance. I mean, I'm not as good as a dancer as you, but I've practicing so I think... What are you doing?"

Widening her eyes, Piper stood up abruptly, making all the papers in her lap fall to the floor as she stared at Brittany wide-eyed as the girl stood up, shocked at the reaction. After all, Brittany hadn't expected Piper to jump up so scared when she leaned down toward her and tilted her head up to her. No one ever did whenever she tried to kiss them.

"I'm trying to kiss you." Brittany said, as if it was obvious.

"Why?" Piper frowned.

"Because it's what usually happens when people come visit me in my house." Brittany frowned, confused. "And then we usually have sex."

"No." Piper shook her head, crouching down to gather the music sheet from the floor. "No, we came to... We came here to rehearse. That's all."

"People say they come to do a lot of things, but they usually just mean sex."

"No. You misunderstood me, Britt." Piper said. "When I said I was coming her to rehearse, I meant I came here to rehearse."

"I'm sorry, I just thought it meant something else like it usually does." Brittany said, crouching down in front of Piper to help her with the papers as well. "I didn't mean..."

"Sorry." Piper jumped up again when her hand brushed over Brittany's, and, again, the blonde Cheerio just stared at her, confused. "I... I made a mistake. I... I thought I was over someone, but I'm clearly not."

"Is it Quinn? I could help you with that." Brittany offered, again so innocently Piper almost felt bad about declining it. "I helped people get over other people before."

"No." Piper shook her head again, her eyes filling with tears as she clutched the few music sheets she had in her hands to her chest as she took a few steps back and away from Brittany. "I made a mistake. I'm sorry, Britt. Duets don't work for me. And I don't want to sing with you anymore."

And with a frown, Brittany watched as Piper ran around her and out of her bedroom. Picking up the few papers the girl had left behind, Brittany tilted her head confused.

"Was it something I did?"

***

Piper watched with her mouth hanging open as Finn and Rachel did an incredibly offensive version of With you I'm born again and Piper could swear neither of them had ever gotten under her skin more — and that was saying something.

"I... I can't believe this." Piper mumbled.

"This isn't happening." Mercedes nodded along with her best friend.

The two of them grew silent then as did the rest of the room as soon as the song was over, everyone just too shocked and too... Confused to even do anything other than stare at the couple in front of them. Not that surprisingly, Mercedes was the first one to speak up.

"Okay, do I even need to say it?" She scoffed.

"That was really rude." Sam said.

"Like... Really rude." Tina agreed.

"I seriously wanted to punch both of you." Quinn said.

"I have to agree." Mr. Schue intervened. "It's a great duet, but what you guys did with it was... Really inappropriate. Your costume choice was a little insensitive. Frankly... I'm disappointed."

At that, Rachel gasped dramatically and Piper frowned at her theatrics.

"What?" She asked.

"Are you serious?" Finn joined in, his acting skills almost as bad as his girlfriend's. "I'm..."

"Shocked." Rachel said, as Finn nodded.

"Shocked."

"We're... We're shocked. I... I really hope that this doesn't cost us the competition."

"Yeah, hum..."

"Just, please, sit down..." Piper groaned, shaking her head and already fed up with the two of them.

"Sure." Rachel mumbled, grabbing Finn's hand in hers as she moved the two back to their chairs. "Let's sit down. Come."

"Well, getting back on track..." Mr. Schue said, as soon as Rachel and Finn were seated. "Who's next?"

Piper's bad mood only increased ten-fold then when Sam and Quinn stood up to sing. Watching with sad eyes as Sam picked up a guitar, Piper's eyes found Quinn's for a second and when the blonde stared at her for a second before looking over at Sam instead when he moved to stand beside her, Piper could swear she heard her heart snapping in two.

"Okay, I just want to say I'm really excited, and that I couldn't have asked for a better partner." Sam said, and again, Piper had to suck in a deep breath when Quinn smiled up at Sam before the two of them started a rather sweet and intimate performance of Lucky.

Throughout the song, Piper could swear she saw Quinn glancing at her a few times, her bright green eyes meeting Piper's brown ones as she sang, but, more often than not, they would soon find themselves back staring at Sam's eyes. Biting her lip as she tried not to let her hurt show too much, Piper forced herself to look away, only to end up facing Kurt, who was also longingly staring at the duo even if his focus was on Sam instead.

With a small smile in his direction, Piper reached a hand over and placed it on his knee for comfort and, as soon as she did, Kurt then reached for her hand and grabbed it in his, squeezing it a bit to show her some support as well. Toward the end of the torture — I mean, song — Piper heard Santana scoffing.

"So freakin' charming." She mumbled, and even though Piper knew she was just bitter that Quinn and Sam had done a good job with their song, she couldn't help but agree with the girl.

After all, there she was again, freaking charming Quinn Fabray, getting exactly what she wanted and leaving Piper behind.

***

"Alright, Lesbo, so here's the thing... I want you as far away from Brittany as you possibly can be and as fast as possible, or I'll beat your ass up."

Sighing, Piper turned to look from her locker to a very angry looking Santana, standing beside her.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Piper said. "She just came to talk to me and give me back some music sheets. That's all."

"Music sheet that you left at her house." Santana accused. "Which means you've been there."

"Yes, I've been there." Piper nodded. "We were going to sing a duet together for the competition. We aren't anymore."

"Good." Santana nodded and, for a second, Piper could swear she saw a flash of insecurity behind Santana's deep brown eyes. "So you can leave her alone then."

"First of all... Brittany came to talk to me." Piper rolled her eyes. "Second of all, we didn't do anything. She tried to, if you want to know. But I didn't let her. So, not that this is any of your business, but I don't need to stay away from anyone. Besides... Why do you even care? She's still your best friend, right? Nothing's changed."

At that, Santana hesitated and Piper frowned, surprised by the reaction. Still, she didn't say anything and, instead, chose to let Santana give her one last warning.

"Yeah, whatever." She glared at the girl as Piper just sighed. "Just stay away from her."

***

So, not only had Piper and Kurt lost the duets competition, Sam and Quinn had won. Together. A coupon for a free meal at Breadstix. Which meant they'd be going on a date. Which meant Piper and Kurt were miserable. Which meant the two of them were sat together at the top of the bleachers, stuffing their faces in ice cream as they talked shit of everyone and everything.

"You know, your girl should stop stealing all my guys." Kurt mumbled as he shoved a spoon of ice cream in his mouth. "First it was Finn, now Sam..."

"Or maybe, we should stop crushing on straight people."

"Didn't Quinn say she had feelings for you last year?" Kurt asked, as Piper sighed.

"She said she felt stuff with me but she didn't know what they meant." She explained as Kurt shrugged.

"That doesn't sound very straight to me."

"Well, clearly it's not gay enough." Piper said. "I mean, she's hanging out with Sam. So I missed my chance. Again."