《What If Bowser Died?》If Bowser died...Mario would get a job (duh)
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(Interview at Toad Town Plumbing Services)
Boss-Man: So Mr. Mario, tell me: why do you think you're qualified for his job?
Mario: Don't you-a watch the news? I'm-a Mario! Cleaning's-a what I do!
Boss-man: I haven't seen you do much cleaning when you were exterminating Goombas on your adventures.
Mario: Cleaning-a, exterminating... It's the same thing-a!!
Boss-man: Well, I dunno, Mr. Mario, you seem a little overqualified...
Mario (on his knees): Please-a!! I-a beg of you! I-a need this a-job! Ever since Bowser a-died, Princess Peach-a hasn't been kidnapped! Meaning-a I haven't gotten a-paid for saving her! And since I-a spent all my coins on-a 1-up Mushrooms, I need-a money to make my-a house payments!!
Boss-man: All right, ALL RIGHT! Since you're the only one who applied, you're hired.
Mario (in tears): A-thank you!!
(First day on the job)
Mario: Hi, I'm-a Mario, here to fix the-a washer.
Random toad: Yeah, thanks, the washer's in the basement.
(In the basement, Mario starts fixing the washer.)
Mario: How-a boring. I-a had more fun beating up a-Bowser...
(Spots a rat)
Mario: Eep! A rat! (Toasts it with a fireball.) (Another rat appears) Another one! Take a-that! (Burns another one to smithereens) (More rats appear)
Mario: Egad-a! This place is-a infested! (Summons a huge fireball) I'll a take-a care of this!
(Lobs the fireball...right at a bunch of gas cans.)
(House blows up)
(Back at Toad Town Plumbers)
Boss-man: You're fired!!!
Mario: a-Please, Mr. a-Boss Man! Give me another chance!
Boss-man: I don't need any more of your hair-brained heroic antics, you mustached headache!! Do you know we're getting sued because you blew up that house? We'll be lucky if we don't go bankrupt because of you!!
Mario: I'm-a sor--
(Boss-man kicks Mario out onto the street.)
Mario: a-Great. What am I-a going to do now?
__________________________
A/N: What do you think? Feel free to comment or give me suggestions for future chapters! ^ ___ ^
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