I wouldn't have minded dying, were death to come but once.

— Mirza Ghalib

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Him

"Let her go."

He cranes his neck towards his friend who's sitting on the floor of the small room with a map in his hand. The numberless nights that he has come to him awaiting every dawn has lost their count now. There's still dark outside, and he's grasping on every minute he can get to prolong the inevitable.

"Set her free," his friend suggests, and he leans back against the wall in desperation.

"Were our situations reversed, would you do the same?" he supposes.

His friend smiles and hums at him. "The one I love loves me back, akhi. There's a difference. But if she didn't, what force could I use to turn her heart towards me? I'm no God."

"Maybe Noura will fall for me too. Eventually her heart will soften towards me. I can wait for her."

"Maybe. But until then, she'll feel enslaved to you. Now what good is a woman to you if she believes you to be her oppressor than her protector? She'll always be on the run from you, and this chase will never end." He folds the map and puts it aside before paralleling his stare. "Until you find yourself being a choice of her freewill, this is how it's going to be. That's why I say, let her go. Let her find you on her own if she desires to."

"Let her go?" He closes his eyes and a sigh escapes his lips. "Alright then, I'll set her free."

Her

The sky is in dusty shades of orange and gold as the threads of sunrays breath their last through the horizon. The water on the the pond reflect them like light reflected from a crystal and the fish beneath the surface swim as if floating through that light. In the distance, the birds chirp and crack the silence but never break the serenity of the moment.

For anyone, the palace could've been paradise, only until living in this paradise would prove it otherwise. Solace is but a rejected prayer here. Noura sighs and dips her fingers in the pond. Only her little escapades to the garden can save bits of her every now and then.

"Maman," she mumbles to herself. "He promised to reunite me with you. And no matter what everyone says about him, I believe in him."

A fish swim towards her, then swims back away, and she retracts her hand. The sun keeps slipping into the dusk. She looks up at the sky.

"But even if I return home, I've already lost part of it." She places a hand over her heart. "Eskander, who have we been to each other? It is as if we've been strangers."

She smiles at the irony of their fates, as if their paths were to intersect but never connect-- to never be one. She breathes through the ache as if her soul being shred to be stitched into a new form.

"Maybe you've lost your home. Maybe I've lost mine."

The sounds of footsteps behind her alert her. She takes it for Faris, but before she could turn around, someone gently presses down against her shoulder to keep her from getting away.

"I only need a little of your time, please."

She instantly struggles to move away from him and her company grips her arm.

"Let go!"

"Noura--"

"I'll scream."

She threatens and he releases her, raising his palms to calm her.

"Fine, I won't touch you. But stay, please. Only for a while."

She gawks at him in disbelief as he comes to sit besides her near the pond. His persistence and the nonchalance of his attitude prick her like a thorn in the heart. Every time he's around her, her anxiety reaches new heights. The fear that someday someone might catch them red-handed, that he'd be found and held answerable for something dire, and that the consequences of it might be drastic, it chokes her. Yet still, he seems least concerned about anything at all.

"You're crazy," she comments and he gives her his signature grin, eyes sparkling with mischief and carrying unnatural hues under the feeble sun.

"I know."

"You'll get us killed, Hadi."

"God forbid." He clicks his tongue in dismay. "Didn't I already prove myself capable of saving you, back at the bazar?"

The incident at the bazar weighs heavy on her mind. She's still unable to digest the fact that Maysoon was behind it. But her precise motives remain unclear, besides the obvious of taking her away from Eskander. It would also explain how Eskander learnt of her encounters with Hadi, since Maysoon already knew of them and must have told him. But how she knows Hadi and to write her a letter under his name is still a puzzle she needs to solve.

"Didn't I make myself clear that we have no reason to keep seeing each other?" she retorts. "Whatever it is that you want from me, I cannot give it to you. Why do you have to be stubborn?"

"Why do you?" he asks back and she frowns. He picks a pebble and tosses it into the pond.

"Leave, Hadi, before you manage to get your head under the caliph's axe."

He smirks. "You think?"

"You don't think a rebel would be shown any mercy?"

He chuckles and tosses another pebble into the pond. "Don't worry, there are only my men around the area. Nothing bad will happen. Although I really appreciate your concern for me."

She huffs and he gives her a naive look. "Well then, enjoy your time. I shall get going."

Noura prepares to get up and he quickly grasps her wrist. "Wait--"

"Hadi--"

"For God's sake."

He lightly tugs her back down and she tries to snatch back her hand. He doesn't let go and she twists her wrist in his strong hold.

"Release me!"

"You won't leave?"

She pulls out her dagger with her free hand and aims for his fingers. But unsurprisingly he judges her actions and let her go before she can slash him. She turns around to leave and he urgently gets to his feet, following after her.

"Is a moment with you too much to ask for, malika?"

"This moment might become a sword at our necks."

"I assure you, no one can dare raise a sword at us."

"Just stop following me, Hadi."

"I'll follow you to your chamber if I have to in order to make you listen to me."

She halts in her tracks and clenches her jaw, turning around to stare murderously at him. He stops in front of her, a little too close, and she takes a step away.

"Say whatever you have to say. I'm listening."

"Can we sit down?"

At first, she thinks of refusing him. But then she knows he won't give up until she hears him out, so she exhales in exasperation and goes back to sit besides the pond. He joins her and she gestures to the sky.

"The dark is falling. I won't stay long so make it quick."

He nods and reaches underneath his cloak to bring out something. She watches curiously as he presents to her a bunch of jasmines. But this time, they're blue in color, unlike the white flowers he had been sending her before now. He holds it out to her, but when she doesn't attempt to take it from him, he simply places it between them.

"Do you wonder why I send you these?"

"I wonder. But I know whatever query I might have for you, you'd rather deflect it then answer it. So there was never a point in asking."

A smile crawls onto his lips and his gaze flicks away from her, fixating into nothingness.

"Once upon a time there was a little girl who wanted to be a queen someday. One day she asked a prince why his eyes were mismatched-- why one was brown like everyone else's, but the other was unnaturally blue. She was fascinated with his eyes so she really wanted to know. But he didn't have an answer for her. So he looked around the garden they were playing in, and tried to think of a reason. What do you think he could've told her, Noura?"

Noura hears a howl in her head, a cry from the past. She hears a ring in his words that she feels she has heard before. Her skin covers in goosebumps as she stares at him, but finds herself unable to reply. Hadi faces her again and his gaze now locks on her. She falls into the pit of those eccentric orbs.

"What did he tell her, Hadi?" she asks when he doesn't continue, and his smile only stretches.

"He told her that he had stolen it from the blue of the jasmine flowers that bloom in the garden." His fingers come to graze the bunch of blue jasmines lying between them. "She asked him how so, and he said that he had magic. So she warned him that if he kept stealing the blue of the flowers, they might lose their color and turn white, and that she wanted colors in her garden when she became a queen. And the prince assured her that when he became the caliph, he'd return the color to the flowers. So now she was not only enraptured by his eyes, but by the idea of his magic too."

She inhales slowly, her breath hitching, her heart racing, her sanity shaking. He inches closer to her until there's only a whisper distance between them.

"The flowers lost their color, malika. They turned white. Nothing is the same anymore. And the prince," he shrugs, "he doesn't have magic as he claimed. The girl who has now grown into a woman, she's no more charmed by him. She neither wants to be a queen, nor does she want to be his. And he doesn't know what to do. He doesn't know how to win her heart."

They gaze at each other. Time has no meaning, no bounds to be considered at present. Hadi searches her orbs, as if looking for a lost treasure, and this time she doesn't fight him.

She doesn't know how long she keeps sitting by the pond-- even when Hadi leaves, even when her musings die, and when dusk blend into evening and all the strings of her intellect fall apart. Noura feels another part of her soul being ripped off.

When Faris escorts her to her chamber, she doesn't consider it just another night she has to spend at the palace. And though every night at the palace is heavy for her, this is one of those to keep her sleep at bay.

"Someone is following us," Faris says lowly, and she turns to him in alarm. "Please keep walk," he suggests. "I'll trap them to see who is it spying on you."

"I think I know now," she replies and obliges with him, making her way through the corridors to her chamber as Faris directs her through a different routes, until he manages to trick the spy and wait around the corner for him, and as soon as he follows them down the path, Faris attacks him from behind and knocks him unconscious.

"The general will investigate him."

Noura only nods and proceeds towards her chamber. "You can go inform him. I'll retire to my room."

She doesn't think she has the strength to deal with anything more for the rest of her life, let alone the night. She has seen so much in this little time already. So when she enters her chamber and closes the door behind her, she burns out the candles one by one and leave only enough to chase away the darkness. Then she goes to sit on her bed and take out the bunch of blue jasmines Hadi has brought her. She grazes the flowers tenderly.

"So you're the prince. Magic prince." She twirls the bunch between her fingers. "How else would you be doing what you've been doing if not for your title." She brings the flowers to her nose. "But why am I afraid of the admittance of your identity? You've already taken from me my oblivion. If I call you by your name, Hadi, everything will make sense, except for my life."

A knock comes at the door, dragging her out of her reverie. She quickly tucks the flowers under her pillow before granting permission to the person.

"Come in."

Adam enters her chamber and looks around, his eyes first falling on the only lit candles in a corner before finding her.

"I hope I'm not disturbing you."

"Don't worry, I wasn't going to sleep."

He quietly closes the door before walking towards her. "Your guard isn't at the door. I came prepared for the trouble he could've caused me to keep me from seeing you."

She chuckles and motions for him to sit down. He takes a seat besides her on the bed. "You looked forward to the trouble?" she bugs.

"Not really. I've gotten myself in enough already."

"Because of me?"

He shakes his head. "For your sake, willingly."

"You honor me, sayidi. How am I to ever pay for your debts?" she continues teasing and he reaches forward to hold her chin, staring into her eyes seriously.

"You already are, by being my wife."

The playfulness leaves her as she takes in his somber expression. Adam releases her and produces a scroll from underneath his belt. He takes her hand and places it on her palm.

Noura knits her eyebrows in confusion. "What is it?"

"The caliph's order," he replies, and her heart jumps in exhilaration. "Your freedom."

Her eyes widen in shock and she gapes at him, utterly stunned. "You mean... I-- he's sending me back home?"

He nods in response.

All the countless days and endless night that she spent waiting for this moment, the moment is finally here. She grins widely at Adam, suddenly all giddy, ready to pass out of ecstasy, and he speaks up before her excitement could reach its peak.

"But there's a problem."

She deflates at his statement at once and her exhilaration turns to apprehension as she inches near him. "What?"

"Ameer Zakariya won't allow me to escort you. He's of the opinion that I stay behind, for the sake of betterment since the situation at the kingdom is not ideal, and you should be send back to your home with Muawwiz and his guards."

She let his words sink, allowing herself a minute before answering, "If this is the condition, then I'm even ready to bear with Muawwiz, as long as I'm send back home."

"You don't understand, habibti."

Adam scoots closer until their knees bump into each other. He tilts his face closer to hers and her heart goes berserk in its cage. The midnight in his orbs takes her in its embrace-- into its warmth. Noura melts into its black and her worries dissipate.

"What?" she rasps.

He reaches out to hold her arm, his touch soft, caressing it down before his hand drops to her own and clasps it.

"That you inhabit me, and when you're not with me, your absence claws at me," he confesses slowly, his voice a little hoarse. "You're my flesh and the blood in my bones. I carry you with me all the time. Tell me now, how do I cut you and throw you out of myself without dying in the process?"

She's rendered speechless by him, like one of the many times that he has been leaving her dumbfounded. All she can do is peer at him, her face heating, and he smiles at her in confidence.

"But don't worry, I'll keep my promise to you and take you back home. Although we'll be doing it my way."

"What do you mean?"

"The Ameer won't allow me to take you, so we'll leave the palace secretly. You and I," he suggests. "Give me three days to settle the affairs here and arrange for our departure."

"Adam." She squeezes his hand worriedly, the thought of him defying the court orders bringing her unease. She doesn't want him to endanger his life. "What if you get into a problem? What if the caliph orders to punish you? I don't want anything bad happening to you."

"Do you believe in me?"

"Of course I do."

"Then all will be well." He lifts her hand to his lips and kisses her knuckles before fixing her eyes. "I cannot separate from you and let you be send away with someone else. I cannot allow it. I want to be the one who escorts you and to assure you're safe or my heart won't rest. But don't worry, the caliph has already passed the order and you can leave, nothing bad will happen. The Ameer might be upset with me, but he won't punish me."

She smiles at him, that's all she can offer him, for any words she might try to say won't be enough to justify her feelings. He smiles back and places her palm against her cheek, his thumb stroking it lovingly.

"I don't know what is our destiny, but I leave it to my Lord to choose the best for us. I'll put my faith in His decree. Whether we stay together or not, know that you've a place in my heart. You'll always have."

She doesn't realize when her tears start flowing. It isn't until he wipes them for her that she becomes aware of them. Noura sniffs. She hasn't been the one to let her guard down and show off her vulnerability to anyone, but with him, those walls she keeps high up come crumbling down.

"Thank you," she says.

"For you, anything. Always."

She doesn't know what comes over her, but she doesn't give it much thought neither contemplates over it as she throws her arms around his shoulders and embraces him. At first, he stiffens, and she buries her face in the crook of his neck. But it doesn't take him long to take her into his arms and return her gesture, nuzzling his face against her neck too, hugging her to his chest.

"Noura," he murmurs against her neck and sets tingles through her skin. And though it is only her name, but the way he says it seems to contain all the intimacy a moment can ever hold.

She smiles against his shoulder and closes her eyes, letting this moment with him take away all her sorrows and bring her delights. Maybe it is him who can save her. Maybe she'll allow him to do so.

And so the solace she has been seeking she finds in his arms.

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Theories now?

I should be studying, but I write when I can. And I've no idea when a new chapter might come. Two weeks to my exams and I may or may not update before that.

PS: thank you for all the well wishes you leave me. Much love.

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